01x06 - Crawling Niceness, The/Smarten Up!/The Grim Show

[bunniefuu]

[Laughing]

♪

Hey! Where am i?!
Who are you people?

Narrator: you ever have
one of those days

Where life just gives you
a good kick in the butt?

Sure, you wake up,
and everything's fine,

And the next thing you know,

A giant spider is gonna lay

And... Oops!
I'm getting ahead of myself.

I'll start at the beginning.

Man on tv:
the parasitic worm
burrows into the nose

And begins its
mating dance.

Yo! Yo!
Whassup, homies?

[Gasps]

The female praying mantis

Then devours
the head of her mate.

Ugh! No! No! No!

I don't want to watch
creepy bug shows!

Bugs are the grossest!
I hate bugs!

Hate! Hate! Hate!

I'm bored.

Go get me a soda,
stupid.

That is an awesome idea!

I'll go get some sodies
out of grim's trunk.

[Whistling]

Hey! You know
very well

That there's
no soda in my trunk!

Well, you've got a lot
of junk in your trunk.

I mean, who's to say?

Keep out of my trunk!

Ahh! Let's see.

Soda? Soda?

A sinister doll,

Bag of grave dust,
ritual dagger,

Monkey's paw,
ouija board,

Eye of etna,
devil's triangle,
dark crystal,

Shampoo, giant egg.

Wow! What could be
in an egg this big?!

Ooh! I'm gonna
hatch you right now!

Now I just wait until...

Aah! Man!

Where the heck's my duck?!

Boy! What a ripoff!

Hmm...
If a duck had come out,

I would've named him jeff.

Daddy!

[Gasps]

[Screaming hysterically]

[Screaming]

[Panting]

What were you
doing down there?

Well, I was just... Whoa!

You were just
digging in my trunk!

Was not!

I-i was,
uh... I was picking my nose!

And... And... And this is
a big, white, webby booger!

And the screaming
I heard?

I poked my brain.

You know, all this
nose-picking has worn me out.

Well, I'm off to bed.

[Thunder]

Hey, dad. It's me jeff.

I'm all grown-up now.

So I baked you
some banana bread,

And I was thinking
that tomorrow
we could go hiking.

[Gasps]

Oh, my!
You're shaking like a leaf.

Did you
catch a cold?

Oh, you poor thing.

Do you have a fever?

Maybe I should make
some echinacea tea.

Aah! Uhh!

Aah!

Mandy, get over here
right away.

There's a bug in my room,
and I need you to squish it!

[Knock on door]

Oh, good!
You came to
squish the bug!

No. We're here to kick
the crud out of you

For waking us up
at 3 a.m.
To squash a bug.

You don't get it, man!

It was a big bug!

Oh,
there you are.

I figured it out,
and I'm so sorry.

You're obviously
allergic to
banana bread.

Anyway, I didn't mean
to interrupt.

I'll just go finish
alphabetizing your toys.

[Whistles]

Billy, did that
come out of my trunk?

Maybe. Just squish it.

No. I warned you
not to touch my trunk.

[Flower pot
shatters]

Mandy,
you got to help me.

My services
don't come cheap.

Please?!

I'll do anything!

You will give me
your allowance
for the next 6 months.

And the next time
I tell you
to get me a soda,

I expect
to see results!

Yes. Just squish it.

Is it done?!
Did you squish it good?!

Jeff and I
had a long talk.

And then
you squished him?!

Well, he knitted
this really nice
sweater for me.

I'm going home.

[Menacingly]
very well.

I'll just have to deal
with this problem myself.

[Meow]

[Grunting]

[Humming,
then gasps]

No! This poor kitten
is trapped

Under an overturned
laundry basket!

I'll save you,
kitty!

You're free,
little guy.

Go on, shoo.

[Humming]

[Grunting]

[Panting]

Ph-ew!

Dad!

Are you ok, dad?

You...
You saved my life.

Oh, it was nothing,
really.

I hate you!

You hate me?

Go get squished,
you gross-o freak-o!

Squished?

Oh, dear...

You were trying to squish me
with that baby grand piano.

Me smash you!

Oh, dad,
all I ever wanted to do
was make you happy.

Will squishing me
really make you happy?

Stop touching me!

Then we'll do it.

Hello, exterminator?

Yes, please send
someone over right away.

Well, they're
on their way.

I was going to surprise you
with a mercedes tomorrow,

But seeing as I'm
going to be squished,

I just left the money for it
under your pillow.

You'd better
go outside.

I don't want you
to have to see my guts
when they squirt out.

There's a big,
gross bug in there.

Go squish it!

That's why
I'm here, son.

Man: dang!

Gonna need
the big boot.

So, there you go.

That's my story,
and I'm sticking to it.

And the moral:

Well, maybe it's
just that some bugs
are too good to squish.

Ain't that right, jeffy?

Sure is.

Look, I made you
a big batch of hot cakes.

[Sniff]

Man, I love that kid.

So, want to
do my chores?

Can't.
I gotta study.

We've got that
big math test tomorrow.

And I stink
at math!

You stink at
everything,
not just math.

Don't try to
cheer me up.

Whatever.

Ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha!

What's the matter,
sunshine?

Why the long,
egg-shaped face?

I'll never pass
that math test
tomorrow, grim.

I'm just
a... A imbecile.

Yeah. But maybe
I can help.

Really?

Really.

Uh, blow your
nose, and I'll
show you how.

[Meow]

This will help
you at math.

Wow! A jar!

No, you ninny.

It's the worm
that's going
to help you.

It's
a book worm.

Do I st-u-u-pid?

How's a dumb old worm
going to help me pass
no math test?

You eat
the bookworm.

Then he'll take over
your body and pass
the test for you.

Observe.

Grim: the bookworm is
first ingested.

Once inside, the bookworm
will take control over
all body functions.

Da-hey!

I can't work here...
It's too cramped.

This is more like it.

Grim: bookworm will walk
your body to school and...

The circumference is
equal to the sum of pi.

Yay!

Yeah... Yeah.

I'm awesome.

Aah!

Come to mama,
you bookworm, you.

[Gasp]

No, milkshakes. No!

Bookworm: da-hey,
what gives?

Fudge, I'll
never pass that
math test now.

Fear not,
william.

I'm very
well acquainted

With all matters
mathematical.

I understand equations...
Both the simple

And the quadratical.

Young william,
I will help you
study for the test.

Hoo-aah!

My cat rocks!

Concentrate.

If a train leaves
chicago at 3:00
traveling 70 m.p.h.

And another... Ooh! Ooh!

Yes?

What kind of train?

It doesn't matter.

Could it be blue?

I like blue.

Fine. A blue train
leaves chicago at...

Ooh!

Who's riding on
the choo-choo train?

Can it be clowns?

That's totally
irrelevant.

Can all the clowns
be named carl
and larry?

Ok.

A blue train
leaves chicago

At 3:00,
full of clowns

Named carl and larry,
and...

Ohh! Pick me!
Pick me!

What?

And can one clown
be a fire juggler
named tim,

Who is a vegetarian
but actually sneaks

Bacon when no one
is looking? Hee hee!

Sure!
Why not?

You're missing
the point!

Never mind.

Lesson's over.

You pass.

An apple
for teacher.

Thank you, william.

Mom!

Ooh... Um, idaho!

Uh...
President lincoln.

Ooh-ooh!
A butterfly.

That's it.

I've had it!

You, sir,
are an imbecile.

A mockery to
sentient beings.

A completely
hopeless cause.

I quit!

What'd he say?

Here kitty,
kitty.

Mommy's got
a rubber mouse

For its
favorite cat.

Ooh, I got
a big bowl
of warm milk

And a mess
of yummy
cat treats.

It's no use,
billy.

I will not give in
to your pathetic
attempts

To procure my services
via your infantile
endeavors at bribery

With these insignificant
trinkets.

Ok, I don't know
what you just said,

But it sure didn't
sound like

You're going to help
me pass my test.

Hmm...
You're not quite

As stupid as
I thought you were.

Does that mean
you'll help me?

No.

Oh, please,
milkshakes.

If I don't pass
that test tomorrow,

Everyone will think
I'm an idiot.

No!

Abandoned by
my own cat.

But his tail
whacked my nose,

And I'm gonna
fail the test.

What?

Are you going
to rub it in
some more?

[Purring]

Hey!

Milkshakes ain't
smart no more.

What happened?

Now I'm going
to lose the test
for sure.

It's simple,
billy.

Bookworm must have
worked his way

Out of milkshakes's
system.

You'll just have
to learn to live
with being stupid.

No.

No!

This is terrible!

Bookworm:
you're telling me.

I was in the cat box
for 15 minutes

Before this fellow
rescued me.

[Crickets chirping]

Glory be!

atrocia's late-night
cinemonstrosities.

Good evening,
fellow ghouls everywhere.

I'm afraid I have
some horrible news.

The network says that
since I turned 30,

And nobody wants to watch
an old bag like me...

The show has been cancelled.

What?!

I can't believe they've
gone and done this.

Can you believe
the buffoons
just cancelled

The greatest show
on television?

Say cheese, mandy!

Not if you want
to keep your eye.

Enough of this, billy!

Can't you see I'm
in the middle of
a crisis right now?

Jeez, don't have
a conniption, grim.

Listen... Go whine to
the studio, not to me.

They tape the show
right across the street.

Across the street?

I had no idea.

I think I will pay them
a little visit.

Nobody messes with
my favorite show!

Cancel my show, will you?

Ahhh! A star is born!

Chop, chop, fellas! Let's
get this stuff outta here!

I tee off in half an hour,
and you guys need
to find new jobs!

Grim: hold on there,
suit-and-tie slime!

What happened to
my favorite show,

atrocia's late-night
cinemonstrosities?

Whoa there,
tall, ugly, and gruesome!

The ratings for that show
were pitiful!

The network needed
something with more, uh...

Pizazz.

Pizazz? I'll give
you pizazz!

Mandy, look!
Grim's in the box!
Grim's in the box!

The camera really
does add 10 pounds.

I know! Isn't he great?

How did you get in there,
grim? Grim!

Good evening, fellow
creatures of the night.

I am the grim reaper,

And things will now
be done a little
differently around here.

They will be done my way!

Help me!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

You are correct, sir!

[Rock music plays]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!

[Laughter]

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Yes, what is it?

Hello, grim.

Oh. It's you.

To what do I owe
this horrible visit?

Well, the dishes
need washing

And my lawn
needs mowing.

Chores?

In case you haven't
heard, mandy,

I'm a star!

And the last time
I checked,

Stars don't do chores!

Now if you'll excuse me,
I've got a show to do.

I want to be grim!

No, want
to be grim!

I'm more evil than you!

No, more evil!

Ok, let's hear your line.

Meow!

Cut! Ok, let's take
it from the top.

I have had enough.

Grim's shirking off his duties.

My chores are piling up!

Grim's still
stuck in the box

And milkshakes
keeps forgetting
his lines!

It's time to pay
grim a visit.

Gee! We're going
inside the box, mandy?

Yes, billy.

We're going
inside the box.

Well, thanks
for stopping by,
blob.

Not so fast, grim...

We just thought that your
audience would enjoy

Getting a...
More intimate look

At their sinister host.

Grim: no, mandy! Please!

[Snoring]

[Sniffing]

Ahhh!

Hee hee hee hee!

Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Sissy! Ha ha!

It's all a pack of lies!

I don't even know
these delinquents!

Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!

I'll show you how vile I am!

[Audience laughs]

You never let me
have any fun!

[Sobbing]

Get ready for your
closeup, grim!

[Sobbing]

My belly is so full of
hate right now!

♪