01x12 - Out to Launch/Prophet and Loss

[bunniefuu]

-[theme music playing]
-[barking]

[engine revs]

♪ I'm seeing lots of Spots ♪

♪ Plenty of polka dots ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ Can't catch a furry flurry ♪

♪ Running in a blurry hurry ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Canines on the run ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

-♪ Them doggone dogs are fun ♪
-♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Without fail you'll wind up
Chasing your tail ♪

♪ What's the harm
In revelrous adventures ♪

-♪ On the funny farm? ♪
-[clucks]

-♪ 1-0-1 ♪
-[barks]

-♪ Life's just a bed of roses ♪
-♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Fast friends with cold, wet noses ♪

-♪ 1-0-1 ♪
-♪ Through thick, thin, push and pull ♪

♪ It's 1-0-1 oh wonderful!
Just tons of fun ♪

♪ 101 Dalmatians! ♪

[grunts]
Got them. Ah.

[Lucky] Reduce speed
to light vector seven.

Don't. Ah. Ah! Ah, got them.

Uh-oh. My sensors are detecting

The presence of a hostile spaceship
in this sector.

Hmm. Uh!

How long, do you suppose,

Captain Fruity Dip
will be conquering space today?

Probably just his usual romp
to the Omega Quadrant and back.

Oh, come on, Lucky.

You promised
we'd check out Cruella's trash.

She's got all kinds
of great new stuff in it.

No way. There's no reason
to stop playing the game now.

I'll give you at least three reasons why,

One, you promised.

Two, it's not good for you

to sit inside all day long
and play video games.

And three, you look like a rabid dog
behind those controls.

You need to relax, pup, and get outside.

[Lucky] Holy cow!
A Kaputtnik battle cruiser.

Raise the shields!
Fire the plutonium torpedoes.

[Cadpig] Hut, hut, one, two, three,
fold in the egg whites.

Let's go!

Ah, no, uh!

[futuristic music]

[Cruella] Space...
The final entrepreneurial frontier.

-Turn that off!
-[record scratch]

Whoever dreamed that I would have

the wherewithal to acquire my very own
Kaputtnik battle cruiser.

We heard bankrupt commie countries
are practically giving them away.

Yeah, and that you only had to trade
a truckload of pantyhose for this one.

Yes, and the moment
I saw this bucket of bolts I had a vision!

To create the first weight loss spa
in space.

The allure of being weightless in space
would be irresistible.

Float your flab in zero grav.

I'll make billions!

You still have the book?

Yes, ma'am, here it is.

"How to Turn Your Kaputtnik Battle Cruiser
Into a Luxury Spa, 3rd edition."

It's come in handy
disarming the weapons system.

Oh, just throw the nuclear warheads
in the dumpster.

Tomorrow is trash day
and I'd like to be out-of-town

when they toss it in the truck.

Oh, yes, I'm off to buy contact paper
and rocket fuel.

I want to see some real progress
by the time I return.

[Spot] Where did all this stuff come from?

Oh! If this isn't just like
Miss Bulldoze the Rain Forest.

Hasn't Cruella heard of recycling?

[sniffs]
Oh, she must be up to something major

to produce this kind of trash.

Neat. Looks just like a ray g*n.

[clanging]

Huh.

[screams]

[grunting]

Ouch.

[gasps]

[Spot] What on earth?

[Lucky] Wow!

Why is there a spaceship here?

Yeah, where did it come from?

That's a genuine Kaputtnik battle cruiser

with the destroy
the free world options package.

Whoa! It even looks cooler
than the one on Roger's flight simulator.

I don't think we should touch anything.

I mean, isn't there some law against

scratching an instrument
of total annihilation?

The c*ck's got to be up this way.

Come on, let's investigate.

[snoring]

Exercise equipment?

Why would anyone put that on a spaceship?

Why would anybody
eat processed cheese food?

Who knows? It's just another one
of Cruella's wacky schemes.

[Lucky] Hey, guys! Over here!

I found the c*ck.

[all] Uh-oh.

-Hot-dog!
-[all] Don't touch that!

-[Vlad] Go on, comrade pup-ski. Touch it!
-Who said that?

Pleased to introduce myself. I am Vlad.

The on-board computer?

Every Kaputtnik battle cruiser
comes equipped with a Vlad,

and a Borscht -omatic.

Sorry to disturb you, Mr. Vlad, sir.

We were just looking around, heh.

It's okay. Say, you fur-skis want to go
on little test flight?

-Yeah!
-[all] No!

There's no chance, no how,
no way we are flying into space.

Oh, babushka, did Vlad say flight?

Vlad meant make-believe flight.

Please to be thinking of Vlad
like ride at capitalist amusement park.

Big fun for little comrades, huh?

[Vlad laughs]

Your job is push pretty buttons
when Vlad tells you to.

Well, it's about time
they tested the launch sequence.

[screams]

[snort]

Horace, stop that snoring!

Oh.

[cough]

Ooh, those macaroons!

They were supposed to test it,
not test drive it.

[all screams]

[screaming continues]

You tricked us!

You are a very bad computer!

Vlad is sorry.

Vlad had to fool
his furry and feathered friend-skis.

Why? Why did Vlad have to?

Skinny, evil woman want to change Vlad.

Want turn Vlad into flight fat farm.

Vlad's mission to annihilate countries,
not melt off pounds fast.

Whoa! But why dog-nap us?

Vlad needs little comrades
to help fulfill Vlad's destiny.

To seek and destroy all orbiting traffic
and become tsar of outer space!

-[Cadpig] Of course.
-[Spot] Should have guessed.

[Rolly] w*r dogs.

[woman] Some romantic cruise.

Exactly 854 passengers
and all of them women.

When I get home,
I'm going to sue my travel agent.

Unless he's single.

[woman] Oh, my gosh. Look at that!

Men! Stop the boat! Stop the boat!

There may be spacemen inside.

Ooh.

[alarm]

[all scream]

[screaming continues]

Hey, guys, don't panic. Lighten up.

Lighten up? We're already weightless.

What are we supposed to do?

We've never flown a ship before.

Well, do we know
about anything that's like it?

Hey, this looks like a steering wheel.

Maybe it's like racing go-carts.

Got it. This looks like
Roger's flight simulator.

[Lucky] Not exactly, but close enough
that if we work together, we'll manage.

Well, he does seem
to need us to push the buttons.

Yeah, that's the spirit.

If we don't panic and work together,
we'll figure it out!

[technician] General, we're picking up
something new in earth orbit.

All data indicates it's a fully
operational Kaputtnik battle cruiser.

What? They're all supposed to be junked
and sold for scrap.

Activate the destroyer satellites.

Demolish that battle cruiser!

Well, Vlad, it's been a pleasure
reliving the Cold w*r with you,

but I'll be steering us home now.

Nyet. Vlad must seek, Vlad must destroy,

Vlad must decimate large populations
while leaving all buildings intact.

[chuckles]

We all need to express
our dark side, Vlad, but give it a rest.

There doesn't seem to be a whole lot
of stuff to smash up here anyway.

Oh, da ? Just look-ski ahead.

Destroyer satellites,
made to destroy Vlad!

Vlad must destroy first.

-[Vlad] Attack! Attack!
-[all gasp]

Everybody, man the controls.

This is going to take some teamwork.
And a little imagination.

[Lucky] Let's pretend we're all playing
Roger's flight simulator

for an all-time top score.

[zaps]

[zaps]

[grunts]

What you doing?
This no time to run. Time to fight!

[grunting]

[Vlad] Vlad train for w*r,
not freestyle floor exercise routine.

[Rolly] That's it! They're out of a*mo.

-[all] All right!
-[all laugh]

I'll never criticize
your computer game obsession again.

I'm hungry. I can't get this drawer open.

Is it just me,
or has the mood really lifted in here?

Let's go home.

[Vlad] The pup-skies have brought
such shame down around Vlad's head.

[Vlad laughs]

[Cadpig] Put a sock in it, Vlad.

[Horace and Jasper grunt]

Put your back into it, Horace,
They're gaining on us!

[woman] Come back! Come back, you two!

We paid for a romantic cruise,
and that's what we're going to get.

You can paddle, but you can't hide!

[farm animals chattering]

The annual puppy races are hereby
about to commence up something fierce.

[Mooch] Hey! Rolly slowly.

At least we know who will come in last.
[laughs]

-Ooh.
-Don't you listen to him, Rolly.

Mooch is just expressing
his inner pea-brain.

Aw, he's right. I'm no good at running.

Most everybody is faster than me.

I don't want to hear another word
from old Mr. Bad Vibes.

You're a fine runner.

You get excellent traction
and what you lack in speed

you make up for in momentum.

Hey, you really think so?

Absolutely.

In fact, I bet you win the race today.

Right. When pigs freeze over.
[laughs]

Ready? On your marks.

Get set...

Go!

[straining]

[laughs]
I'm in the lead. I'm in the lead! I'm...

[bonk]

I'm in the mud.

[barking]

[panting, crash]

[screams]

And Rolly wins by a bucket!

[all cheer]

I won?

I... I won?

Just like Cadpig said.

How did you know?

Um, I just had a feeling.

So I went with it. No biggie.

Yeah, and then she told Rolly
he was going to win.

Ah, lucky guess.

She must be psychic.

[all] Huh?

Okay, Rolly boy, coming at you.

Huh?
[screams]

Look out! The windmill's going to fall!

[all scream]

Oh, Cadpig, if you hadn't warned us,
we'd all been smashed!

Mmm. Girlfriend must
have a sixth sense about this stuff.

No, really,
I just saw the windmill and I...

Did you hear that?
She saw the windmill before it fell.

It was a vision!

[all chatter]

No, you don't understand...

Don't deny it! You are psychic.

Psychic?

-Tell me when I will find true love.
-Well, I...

How much to buy the next election?

I, uh...

Cadpig, I want you to be
my spiritual guide.

You tell me how to live
my life and I'll do it!

Tell you... How to live your life? Hmm.

Have you all gone barn whacky?

Those were coincidences.

Cadpig is no psychic. Tell them!

Yeah, tell us. Are you psychic or not?

Well, uh, maybe a little psychic.

[all chatter]

I knew it! I absolutely knew it.

Oh, brother!

[Cadpig] Yes...Yes...
I'm sensing something.

Your eggs will hatch
first thing in the morning.

Oh, thank you so much!

Cadpig, I forgot where I buried
my favorite bone collection.

Just a moment... I'm getting an image!

Lots of dirt, a paddle wheel.

It's buried next to Snyder's Mill.

You're a lifesaver! Thanks!

What can I say? It's a gift.

[rooster crows]

[Cadpig yawn]

[gasps]

You said my eggs were going to hatch
this morning and they didn't.

What gives?

I dug all around Snyder's Mill
and didn't find a single bone.

Just a really angry craw-fish.
I thought you were psychic.

You got some explaining to do,
little girl.

Uh, everyone has an off day?

But... but...

[owl hooting]

That's it. One second they love you.

You're the world's greatest dog,
then poof!

History. Nobody cares.

[cow] Looky here, Miss Thing,

I found the perfect gift
for Duchess' birthday.

A milking stool!

Oh, that will go great with my gift.
I got her a pail.

Ooh, girlfriend's
going to be so surprised!

And so will everyone else.

[chuckles]

Happy birthday, Duchess.
Here's a little present from me.

[Cadpig] Wait! I shall use
my phenomenal psychic powers

to reveal to you what it is.

I'm sensing something...

Getting an image... Yes!

This present is a milking stool.

Ooh, well I'll be.

[all gasp]

Lucky guess.

And now, my psychic powers tell me
that this present is...

A... pail!

Oh! You're right! It is a pail.

[all cheer]

Cadpig, you ain't nothing but amazing.

[humming]
Ohh.

Hey, Rolly, hi! Where is everybody?

-I thought you all believed in me again.
-Oh, we do, we do.

It's just that Cordelia
found this goldfish in Stemple

who can predict thunderstorms.

And I hear the neighbor's poodle
can read the future in kibble.

Got to check that out, too.

So, now I'm old news.

Yesterday's meta-cognitive mentor.

I guess the workday predictions
weren't enough.

I need to predict something big!
Something that will put me back on top.

Let's see, an earthquake? Uh, no.

Mange? Ooh.

Locusts? Uh, too crawly.

Hey! That's it!

An ice asteroid! That's my plan.

All I need is the old freezer
out in the shed.

Tomorrow, I'll predict
that an ice asteroid is going to hit.

And then I'll evacuate
everyone up to Towser's Hill.

Once everyone's gone,

I'll sneak back
and I'll dump the ice in the yard

so it looks like
the asteroid really did hit.

I'll be the most famous dog psychic
in the county!

[farm animals chattering]

[tapping]

Eh, eh, eh, ahem.

May I have everyone's attention, please!

Last night I had a vision.

An ice asteroid is about to hit the farm!

[screams]

Everyone proceed
in an orderly fashion to Towser's Hill.

Head for the hills, you guys.
Let's go. Come on, everybody, let's go.

[Cadpig] Listen to me! Stop panicking!

Stop! You're not being rational!

[rumbling]

[all shouting]

[crash]

An ice asteroid. Ha! Get real!

[screams]

Help!

[rings doorbell]

Huh? It's for you, Herb.

[coughing]

Hi. Uh, want me to
warm up your foot baths?

No, thanks.
I don't trust you not to boil my toes.

-[sniffs]
-Okay, okay, I said I was sorry.

I admit it.
I only pretended to be psychic.

It was just nice to have everyone look up
to me for a while to take my advice.

Give me a feeling of importance.

Well, it gave me chills and a fever,
and frostbite on my tail.

Oh, and what about you?

You believed I was psychic
because you wanted to.

Not because there was any real evidence.

Aw, she's right.

Yeah, explain that to Spot.

[muffled muttering]

[theme music playing]