02x46 - Horace and Jasper's Big Career Move

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[barking]

[engine revs]

♪ I'm seeing lots of spots ♪

♪ Plenty of polka dots ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ Can't catch a furry flurry ♪

♪ Running in a blurry hurry ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Canines on the run ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Them doggone dogs are fun ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Without fail you'll wind up
Chasing your tail ♪

♪ What's the harm
In revelrous adventures ♪

- ♪ On the funny farm? ♪
-[clucks]

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

[barks]

♪ Life's just a bed of roses ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Fast friends with cold, wet noses ♪

- ♪ 1-0-1 ♪
- ♪ Through thick, thin, push and pull ♪

♪ It's 1-0-1, oh wonderful! ♪

♪ Just tons of fun ♪

♪ 101 Dalmatians! ♪

-[banging]
-[Cruella] Twits! Numbskulls!

Bird brains! Shut it off!

[coughs]

[vacuum silent]

I told Horace not to turn on the vacuum
till we attached the bag.

How could I hear you
with the vacuum on?

[Jasper] You idiot.

[huffs]

You are fired!

Uh, do you mean fired till tomorrow
or fired till Tuesday?

-[growls]
-She's kind of riled up this time.

We better stay fired
till next Thursday.

I mean fired forever!

You have bungled your final bungle,
and I will never hire you again!

Out! Out! Out!

[vacuum whirs]

-[bangs]
-[screams]

Oomph!

Whoa!

[both shout]

[Horace] We're in a real pickle,
Jasper, a real pickle.

Got to look on the bright side, Horace.

This could be
our big chance to find a job

where we'll actually get
paid with money.

There's bosses who pay money?

Oh, come on!

How dumb do you think I am?

You'll see.

Now, when we get
to the agency, let me do the talking.

You just sit there and look smart.

I can do that.

Hmm.

Uh, keep working on it.

Golly! I never interviewed
two people at once

in the whole three weeks I've been here.

All righty.

The first question is:

what kind of work have you done?

-Mostly unpaid.
-What?

H-h-he said unafraid.

We are not afraid of any work.

Good, that's the attitude
I'm supposed to look for.

[hums]

Ha! Here's one!

We need two good men
to drill for oil.

Oh, okay, I'll see if there's
any out there.

Whoa! [grunts]

We can do that.
In fact, we've done that.

We have?

-[thudding]
-[Horace groans]

You remember that big project
for De Vil Petroleum.

Hmm, De Vil Petroleum?

Nope, nope, doesn't ring a bell.

[groans]

It was the biggest oil-drilling job

the county had ever seen,
and they needed experts like us.

Oh, right, now I remember.

[Lucky] There must be a way
to stop this thing.

Hurry up! The electrical fashion parade
starts in five minutes.

[gears shift]

Whoa!

[shouts]

[grunts]

[gears shifting]

Jasper, look! The puppy's gonna
break the pump.

-[Lucky yelps]
-Stop him.

[screams]

[gasps]

You busted my bulbs.

He's at it again.

[Jasper] Get him!

[growling]

Get away from there.

[growls]

Ah!

-[gasps]
-Got ya'!

Whoa!

Ah!

[Jasper] Get that dog!

[Horace screams]

Whoa!

[both] Ahh! [grunting]

[coughs] Hey, Jasper.
What's "turbo" mean?

-[whistle blows]
-[rumbling]

-[gears shift]
-Trouble!

[gasps]

Everybody out before she blows!

[horns honking]

[people screaming]

[groaning] Ooh, those darn pups!

Pups? What pups?

No, he said up.

The way we did that oil-drilling job
moved us right "up" to Foremen.

Really? Foremen?

Maybe I've been
thinking too small, here.

Bigger job, bigger commission.

My boss says
that's rule number one.

Here's an opening
for experienced criminologist.

Have you had
any experience in crime fighting?

-Yep.
-Nope.

-[thudding]
-[Horace grunts]

Why, we forgot more crime fighting
than most crime fighters ever... forgot.

What was the question?

Oh, wait, I know, crime fighting.

Well, take that time

we stopped the great
Grutely supermarket robbery.

Really? What happened?

I mean, oh!

Oh, right! Oh, that time.

Fools! Bumblers! Incompetents!

Here, put on these burglar masks,
and go rob those two old coots!

Rob?

Exactly.

If they think this area
is riddled with crime,

they'll be so scared
they'll beg me to buy them out.

Do it right this time!

I'll be waiting.

[Jasper] Okay now,
don't forget your lines.

I got it.

This is a fork-up,
stick out your money.

No, Horace, say it right!

-It's ,"This is a stick-up--"
-[footsteps]

[man] Yeah, our stick-up.

We've been casing
this place for months.

You watch 'em, Fingers.

I'll get some rope
and tie up these two butt-in-skis.

And don't forget
my bag of "Anymutt."

Freeze! Everybody, this is a hold up!

-[register dings]
-Jackpot!

This is even heavier
than I thought it would be.

If you know what's good for you,
don't move.

Oh, just our luck!

Now how are we
gonna make our getaway?

[car honks]

This way, you blithering twits!

Hey, wait a-- What are you--

Hey, where's the loot?

This is nothing
but a bunch of dog food.

What are you two
babbling about now?

I demand you turn this car around,

and take me back
so I can make Mom and Pop

a ridiculously low offer
for their store.

To close the deal, I even brought
this sack of cash.

Sack of cash?

[Cruella] Wait a minute!
What are you-- whoa!

Do you know who I am?

[Horace] I think I finally
got it right, Jasper.

Listen, this is a stick-up,
fork over the money!

Too late for that, Horace.

Try this one.

Help! We're trapped in store room!

Help! We're stored
in a trap room!

Close.

[both] Help! Help!

[continues shouting]

[whining] Help.

Uh, I mean, uh, yes, I remember.

After that, we were remembered
as the dynamic duo.

So if you got
a crime fighting job open,

we're your men.

[chuckles] Yes, we are.

I'm sorry.

I'm afraid I can't
be of service to you gentlemen.

It's all your fault.

You two are over-qualified

for the kind of openings
they let me handle.

Did you say "over-qualified"?

Promoted to Foreman,
foiling a major robbery--

why, you're way too good
for these jobs.

I'm taking you upstairs to interview
for a management position.

See, I told you I could look smart.

Well, gentlemen,
after reading his notes of your interview,

I can see why my young associate
was so impressed.

Well, not to be bragging,
mind you,

but there aren't many kinds of jobs
that we ain't worked at.

And been fired from.

[nervous twitter]

Uh, did he say fired?

No, "tired." He said tired.

We're tired of jobs
that don't match our big-time talents.

Well, your crime fighting
experience is quite impressive,

but have you ever been in charge
of an entire security operation?

Are you kidding?

We ran a security force guarding
millions of dollars' worth of stuff.

This is one-dog-one,
east wing clear, over.

This is, um, uh, wiener dog seven.

Uh, whatever you said, over.

Look at 'em.

[Spot] They'll never leave their posts.

[Rolly] They're like robots.

Here's the plan.

[both straining]

Welcome to The Commercial Channel.

Making toast is as easy
as making toast

with the Toast Toaster Toaster oven.

Yours for three easy installments
of $79.95.

If only I had the money.

[announcer]
Become a professional ballerina

in three easy lessons for only $99.99.

If only we had the money.

Hey, west dog,
we could borrow some money

from that purse in the closet.

And how would
we pay it back, wiener dog?

[announcer] Are you low on cash?

Dying to borrow money,
but don't know how to pay it back?

Play the super-duper
legal state lottery.

The jackpot is up to 29 trillion dollars!

[sinister chuckling]

Doggone it!

[Horace in radio] We'll win the lottery,
replace the money,

and buy all the cool stuff
we saw on the television.

-Quick, everybody--
-Panic!

Don't panic. Make like fuzzy slippers.

[Jasper in radio]
Just find the money, Horace.

We hid it in a shoe box.

Aww, look how cute.

I've just got to try these on.

[gasps] The money!

-[crunches]
-[screams]

West dog, help!
The slippers are stealing the money!

It's just the puppies, you wiener dog!

Get 'em.

[dance music plays]

[classical music plays]

[pirate music plays]

[monkeys laugh]

[air whooshes]

[donkeys bray]

[bubbles pop]

Where'd they go?

I feel pretty.

Hm.

[chuckling]

Ooh! Why, you--

You know, with the right belt,
that would look fabulous.

And that's how we solved
that big robbery.

[Horace] Yup, I remember.

Those pups were a nuisance,
but I liked the dress.

Dress? What's he muttering about?

Stress, he said stress.

Most crime fighters
couldn't handle the stress of that job,

but we flew right through it.
We liked that stress.

See?

So what kind
of management position

are you prepared to offer?

Hmm, with your talents,

I should be thinking about
something more creative than security.

Have you ever considered
the entertainment industry?

Showbiz? h*! Darn!

I should have brought
all my awards.

You know we were
top movie executives.

Top movie executives?

Tickets?

-Fine.
-Tickets, please.

-[alarm blares]
-Ooh!

Hold on there, lady.

[beeping]

Sneaking in some confectionery
contraband today, are we, huh?

Listen, you'll buy it from us
or it's bye-bye from us.

-[whistling]
-[barking]

Huh? Hey. Ah!

Oh! Whoa--

[screams]

[Jasper grunts]

[Cruella grunts]

Off me, you fools.

[alarm blares]

Pesky pups.

We almost stopped 'em.

Uh, stopped 'em?

Uh, stopped who?

Uh, no, he said dropped.

We dropped out
of the movie business,

and-- and, we'd really
like to move on to a new field.

Gentlemen, your kind of ambition
warms my heart and fills my wallet.

Let's see.

I've got a Vice Presidency
open in the railroad business.

[chuckles] Now you're on the right track.

Why, me and Horace
set new records in railroad safety.

[yelps]

[thuds]

♪ I've been working on the railroad ♪

♪ All the live-long day ♪

[shouts]

♪ I've been working on the railroad ♪

♪ Just to pass the time a-- ♪

Hey.

Horace, what are you doing?

[panting] About 50 miles an hour.

Get in here!

Oh! Get me out of here!

-[thuds]
-[wheels screech]

[banging]

-Ready.
-Ready?

Will you go already?

-[whistle bares]
-[screams]

[thuds]

[coughs]

[chugging]

Oh, papa, here they come.

[metal clanks]

[grunting]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[bangs]

[sizzling]

Hey, now, that wasn't so bad.

Except for the broken bones.

[both groan]

[Horace scratches]

I still got bruises on my bruises.

Ooh! Ooh!

Uh, is he all right?

Oh, yeah, yeah, he's fine.

A-choo-choo, he's saying.

See, Horace is just reminding me

that we went on to win
the Choo Choo Chiefs of the Year award.

Very impressive.

In fact, too impressive!

Too impressive?

I'd better stop looking so smart.

The truth is, gentlemen,

I can't begin
to do you two justice.

You belong upstairs
with our chairman of the board.

He specializes in placing
outstanding management teams,

like yourselves.

Please, follow me
to the penthouse.

My underling was very impressed
with your railroading expertise,

but the only top openings
I have right now are in air travel.

Well, then this is your lucky day.

Horace and me, we got all kinds
of flying experience.

We've flown jets, props, blimps.

And things nobody ever flew before.

[metal clangs]

If I didn't know any better,

I'd say these puppies
are trying to stop us

from stealing the water.

[Jasper] Oh, don't worry, Horace.

You don't know any better.

In fact, you don't know anything.

[Horace] That's a relief.

I told you Swamp Rat
would have helium.

Yeah, it's a good thing
we had Dipstick to trade.

Hmm, I wonder how much
it'll cost to get him back.

-[air rushes]
-It's finally working.

-We did it!
-[geese honking]

[both screaming]

-[Jasper yelps]
-Help! Help!

-[thudding]
-[yelping]

[crashing, clanking]

There you are!

What are you doing?

Where is my water?

Well, Madame,
there was a slight problem.

I don't know anything.

Ooh!

Not to mention
that time we flew a spaceship.

It was more like falling, actually,
after those pups dropped the booster.

[beeping]

[engine roars]

[snores]

Horace, stop that snoring.

[gasping cough]

Ooh, ooh, those macaroons!

They were supposed to test it,
not test drive it!

[screaming]

[screaming]

[woman] Some romantic cruise!

Exactly 854 passengers
and all of them women.

When I get home,
I'm gonna sue my travel agent,

unless he's single.

Oh my gosh! Look at that.

Men!

Stop the boat!

Stop the boat!

[woman]
There may be space men inside.

-Oh.
-[alarm blares]

[ship horn blows]

Why, I've never encountered
such versatility--

space experts, aviators,
crime fighters, movie moguls!

And don't forget electrical engineers.

♪ Oh, Christmas tree
Oh, Christmas tree ♪

♪ How steel and chrome you ah-ah-are ♪

♪ Made from lots of shiny parts ♪

♪ We lifted from a ca-ah-ar ♪

[electricity buzzes]

Yikes!

[screaming]

[Cruella's voice] Merry Christmas.
Buy, shop, spend!

Merry Christmas. Buy, shop, spend!

Merry Christmas. Buy, shop, spend!

So what do you say, Mr. Candice?

We got the skills, you got the jobs.

So let's shake and do business.

Are you willing to relocate?

No, but we'll move
any place you want.

Finding just the right position
for all your many talents

is a real challenge.

I want to call a special meeting
of the board of directors

and get the whole team
pulling together.

Mr. Jasper! Mr. Horace!

I found you the perfect job!

"Wanted: two versatile,
unique, superior persons

"for a challenging assignment.

"Must be multi-talented, flexible,
and willing to start immediately."

That's us,
willing to start immediately.

"Great benefits, flexible hours,
and a fair salary."

Salary?

We'd even get a salary?

We'll take it.

Good work, young man.

There'll be a raise
in your next paycheck.

Now take the company limousine

and deliver Mr. Horace and Mr. Jasper
right to their new employer.

Some buggy!

They must be lost.

I'm here to deliver
your two new executives.

Executives?

Oh my goodness.

We just need two puppy sitters
to replace me during my vacation.

[Horace and Jasper] Puppy sitters?

No!

[dogs barking]

Think of it this way, Horace.

We can put it on our resume
as food management experts.

Food management experts, wow.

[Jasper] Faster, Horace! Faster!

I'm food management experting
as fast as I can!

[theme music plays]