02x01 - Noses Off

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

I don't know. They look okay to me.

Don't they look okay?

It's just no fair that I might have
to get braces on my teeth.

Who wants funny-looking wires
in their mouth?

You're lucky nobody cares
if you have crooked teeth.

Sorry, Dinah.

I just meant having a nice smile
isn't very important to a cat.

Unless you're a certain cat
in a certain place I know.

[theme music playing]

♪ Hold on to your seat
Let's go for a ride ♪

♪ Now that we're here
On the other side ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ It's a curious place
With a wonderful crew ♪

♪ And you're never quite sure
What they will do ♪

♪ Use your imagination
You'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

Here you are, Your Majesty.

We searched my attic
and brought every costume we could find.

The ones we couldn't find, we left there.

There's a decent selection.

I should be able to find a good costume
for this weekend's masquerade ball.

-Oh, absolutely, Your Majesty.
-Oh.

Would you like us to leave these here
while you decide?

No. I don't have time to take time.

I have to get ready for my interview.

Palace Beautiful magazine
is doing a cover story about me.

In fact, my face will be on the cover
of next week's issue.

The cover of Palace Beautiful?
How exciting!

We won't take up your time.

In fact, why not let us help you decide?

Oh. Maybe. What costume would you suggest?

Since the idea of a costume party
is to dress up so no one knows you...

And since you're already beautiful
and dignified,

you need to wear something undignified.

Something goofy!

[rock music playing]

♪ Hey, let yourself go really wild ♪

♪ Go out and get outrageous ♪

♪ Step out in a zany style ♪

♪ You'll find that it's contagious ♪

♪ Dare to be goofy, dare to be bold
Dare to be bizarre ♪

♪ Don't be afraid to break the mold
Be different than you are ♪

♪ Here's a funny wig to wear ♪

♪ Here's a hat that's frilly ♪

♪ I see a mask way down in there ♪

♪ It will scare you silly ♪

♪ Dare to be goofy, dare to be bold
Dare to be bizarre ♪

♪ Don't be afraid to break the mold
Be different than you are ♪

-♪ You can be foolish ♪
-♪ You can be ghoulish ♪

♪ Let your inhibitions go ♪

-♪ Try something loony ♪
-♪ Something balloon-y ♪

♪ Let your sense of humor show ♪

♪ Oh, Hare ♪

♪ Dare to be goofy, dare to be bold
Dare to be bizarre ♪

♪ Don't be afraid to break the mold ♪

♪ Be different than you are ♪

[Hare] Here we go.

Well, I guess I could try a goofy costume.

Hey! How about this?

Oh, a rubber nose.

Now this is you, Your Majesty.

Or rather it's not you,
which makes it perfect.

Well, I don't know.

Trust me, Your Majesty. Here you go.

-Did you bring the nose glue?
-Of course.

I always bring the nose glue.

-Get that on there.
-There.

Little dip of that.

-I don't know.
-Hold still, Your Majesty.

[Hare] Okay. Oh, boy. Yeah.

Oh, yes.

Very goofy.

-Hm. Very goofy indeed.
-Uh-huh.

Mm-hm.

[screams] Oh!

I look ridiculous!

-How true that is.
-Oh!

I changed my mind. Forget goofy.
Remove the nose.

But don't blame us if you don't look silly
at the costume party.

-[grunts]
-Ow! Be careful!

Here, let me try.

Here. Here.

-[grunting]
-Ow! Oh!

Boy, it's really stuck.
Are you sure you used nose glue?

I think so.

"Ultra mega sticky glue.
Not for use on goofy rubber noses."

Oops.

"Oops"?

This is a disaster!

Oh! I can't have my picture taken
looking like this!

Well, maybe if they used
a wide-angle lens.

Oh! Get this nose off me this instant!

It's no problem.

If we used glue to put the nose on,
we'll just use some unglue to take it off.

-Why didn't I think of that?
-We don't have any.

-[gasps]
-We can make some!

[stammers] Wait here, Your Majesty,
and we'll go whip up unglue

-and we'll be back.
-Yeah.

Go!

[muttering]

-Oh. We'll go out here...
-Wait.

-Right back.
-Oh!

Ah, Your Majesty.

You'll be happy to hear
I've completely spruced up the palace.

We want things to look good
for your big nose interview.

Ah!

Your Majesty, your nose!

It's huge! Enormous! Gigantic!

Thank you so much for pointing that out.

But this is not my nose.

I was looking at costumes
for the masquerade ball,

and the Hatter and the Hare convinced me
to try this ridiculous thing on.

Oh! I see.

You're just wearing it as a joke
to see what I would say.

[laughs]

Oh, Your Majesty does have
such a delightful sense of humor!

[laughing hysterically]

Rabbit, this is no joke!

This nose won't come off!

I'm going to see what's taking
the Hatter and the Hare so long.

They're supposed to be making unglue
to take this off my face.

Uh... [clears throat]

-Your Majesty.
-What?

Uh-- Uh...

Are you sure you want to go out
looking like that?

What's wrong?

[yelps] Oh.

Right. Good point

[groans]

[both scat singing]

There you are, Alice.

So, what do you think?

They look good

Hatter! Hare!

Don't say a word.

What's going on?
You're supposed to be making unglue.

Unglue?

-Oh!
-Oh!

[stammers] Yeah, about that, Your Majesty.

Good news and bad news.

The bad news is we couldn't find
the recipe for unglue.

The good news is we did find the recipe
for my delicious homemade pancakes.

-Care to join us?
-No!

I want you to unglue this nose.

Excuse me, Your Majesty,

but how did it get stuck on
in the first place?

It's a long story.

I'll say.

This is not funny.

There's a reporter coming to my palace
to take my picture,

and I've got a nose like an anteater.

Actually, it reminds me more
of an aardvark.

A what?

Can't you get the reporter
to come another time?

No. If I don't see him today,
he won't have time to write the article.

Boy, you really are stuck.

[blues music playing]

♪ The queen got up this morning
She should have stayed in bed ♪

♪ Because now wherever she's going
Her nose gets there ten minutes ahead ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ What are we gonna do? ♪

♪ The queen's down, she's got a problem ♪

♪ She's got the big nose blues ♪

♪ She's got two eyes, still got two ears ♪

♪ But her too big nose
Is driving her to tears ♪

♪ Her nose is so big
Let's hope she doesn't sneeze ♪

♪ It could move a boulder
Or knock down trees ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ What on earth are we gonna do? ♪

♪ She's down, she's got a problem ♪

♪ She's got the big nose blues ♪

♪ Well, the queen's really got a problem ♪

♪ She's got the big nose blues ♪

Well, don't worry, Your Majesty.

I'm sure the nose will come off.

Eventually.

Eventually?

Eventually means after a while.
After a long time passes.

I can't wait.

Hm. I see her point.

You two keep looking
for that unglue recipe

and report back to me.

I'll see the Caterpillar.
Maybe he has a suggestion

for unsticking this stupid,
supersized snozz!

Oh! Harrumph! Oh!

Boy. She ought to be more careful
where she points that thing.

Good point.

Oh.

-[chuckling]
-[thunder rumbling]

Oh, hello, Your Majesty.

Lovely day for flying kites,
wouldn't you say?

Yes, I suppose so.

Uh, Caterpillar, I need your advice.

You need advice from me?

Uh, what I mean
is I need advice for a friend.

Yes, that's it.

Uh, a friend of mine is in a predicament.

She has a problem.

Your Majesty, is something wrong?

You seem to be hiding your face.

Oh. No. I, uh...

I just have a bit of a cold in my nose,

and I don't want you to catch it.
[imitating coughing]

Uh, anyway, about my friend's predicament.

Uh, she's getting her picture taken,

but she's accidentally gotten
a rubber nose stuck to her face.

That was pretty silly of her.

Hey! Accidents happen, all right.

Well, I don't know if I can help
your friend with her predicament,

but I do have a story here
which might be useful.

but I do have a story here
which might be useful.

Once, there was a bunch of bees
who decided to throw a garden party

in honor of the first day of spring.

The bees called their party the bug ball,

and it promised to be
the biggest and best bash

in the history of the garden.

Soon, all of Bugdom was abuzz
about the ball.

And on the day of the party,

bugs swarmed to the garden
to join in the fun.

Everyone came in their finest clothes.

But, sadly, just as they were starting
to celebrate, it started to rain.

And rain, and rain.

"Quick! Follow us," the bees buzzed.

And everyone made a beeline
for the beehive.

Soon the hive was full of glum bugs
looking out at the rotten weather

and moping about the spoiled party.

The bees said,
"Well, as long as we're stuck here,

we might as well eat."

Then the crickets sighed.

"Well, I suppose we might as well sing
a few songs to pass the time."

The butterflies shrugged.

"Well, as long as there's music,
we might as well dance."

Soon, before the bugs knew it,
they had forgotten about the rain.

And the first annual bug ball
was a hopping success.

So you see, Your Majesty,
perhaps you should tell your friend

to simply make the best of things.

After all, the predicament will no doubt
go away eventually.

Eventually?

I don't have time to wait.

I'm getting my picture taken
this afternoon.

You? I thought you said
it was your friend's problem.

Oh, all right. So I admit it. It's me.

Do you see my problem?

I can't appear on a magazine page
with my nose like this.

Oh, harrumph! Oh.

Not on a single page, no.

But it might fit on two pages. [chuckles]

[humming]

Oh, Alice, this is hopeless.

Time is getting short,
and my nose is still too long.

Well, the Hatter and the Hare are still
trying to find the recipe for unglue

and the Rabbit said he'd get the Tweedles
to stall the magazine reporter.

I don't know what else you can do.

Oh! There you are.

Hi. We're here to make progress report
on the unglue.

-Yes. Yes.
-Our report is we've made no progress.

[groans]

Sorry, Your Majesty.

Oh, there, there, Your Majesty.
We feel as bad about this as you do.

Almost as bad anyway.

We're not getting our pictures taken
with a beak like that on our faces.

All right, listen up.

I'm upset enough about this predicament
without being reminded of it.

If you want to help me,
start by not mentioning my nose.

Sorry. We won't mention, uh, it at all.

Absolutely.
You can count on us, Your High-nose.

-Oh!
-We'll be completely quiet.

We won't make any nose.

Goodness knows
you must feel just terrible.

I didn't say it. I said "knows."
K-N-O-W-S.

It just sounded like...

Um, N-O-S-E.

Right, but it's not the same word.

-Anyone knows that.
-Oh!

Enough! The two of you, get out!

We have to find a way
to hide this predicament

before the reporter shows up. Now go!

Is there some way
we can make this up to you?

-Maybe by sending you a bouquet of noses.
-[screams]

-Out!
-A simple yes or nose would do.

Out! Out! Get out!

Get out of here!

Oh, harrumph! Harrumph! Harrumph!

Now I hope you both see the seriousness
of the queen's predicament.

-We sure do.
-If her nose is as long as you say it is,

she's gonna have a terrible time
keeping birds from landing on it.

[laughing]

Now listen.

Your job will be to stall the reporter

for as long as possible
while the queen tries to remove her...

Big beak?

[laughing hysterically]

Sorry, Rabbit. We certainly see
that this is a serious situation.

[funk music playing]

♪ Rabbit, we won't let you down
Just ask my brother Dee ♪

♪ Why, he and I can sense
The situation's gravity ♪

♪ Any minute now
The queen is going to have to pose ♪

♪ With a schnoz that's longer
Than the average garden hose ♪

♪ This situation's serious
My brother and I know it ♪

♪ We'll do our best, we won't back down
We promise not to blow it ♪

-Mm-hm.
-Uh-uh.

-Uh-uh?
-Uh-uh.

[both groan]

♪ Dee, this is more than serious ♪

♪ Just think of what could happen ♪

♪ If he can't snap her photo ♪

♪ Because he's just too busy laughing ♪

♪ This situation's serious
My brother and I know it ♪

♪ We'll do our best, we won't back down
We promise not to blow it ♪

♪ Get it? Blow it ♪

♪ We'll do our best, we won't back down
We promise not to blow it ♪

[both laugh] Ahem.

[sighs] Listen.
Your queen is counting on your help.

Promise me you'll at least try
to be serious.

-Sure. If you promise us something.
-What's that?

At least take one picture of the queen
before the nose comes off.

[laughing]

Nose comes off...

See him yet?

Not yet.

Wait. Someone's coming.

-Hi there!
-You must be the reporter

for Palace Beautiful.

Let me guess.

Tweedle Dum, Tweedle Dee.
Am I right or am I right?

Dirk Deadline's the name.

Royal reporting's my game.

I'd love to stay and chat,
but I got a date with a queen.

Wait! The queen sent us to delay--

I mean meet you.

She did.

That's nice of the old gal.

Right. And we thought we would show you
around Wonderland

before you see her. Talk to her.

I'd like a little sightseeing,

but, uh, I gotta get your queen's face
on my film.

You know what they say.

Do you know what they say?
One picture's worth a thousand words.

But the picture of the queen
should be worth at least 2,000.

Let me guess. The Cheshire Cat.
Am I right or am I right?

Oh. Now there's a reporter
who really has a nose for news.

-[cackling]
-Thank you.

So don't you need to get
to the palace right away?

Excuse me. You don't need to rush him.

I'm sure he doesn't mind waiting a bit.

You can't blame a cat for being curious,
or should I say nosy.

As long as I'm here, how about I get
a picture of the three of you?

To show how happy
the queen's subjects are.

That stuff's great for her image.

And we all know the queen's image
could use a little improvement.

Okay. Big smile.

Thanks for the picture.

Be sure to send me a few prints.

[cackling, then humming]

I don't know what you see in that cat.

Gotta go.

-[gasping]
-Wait! Don't go yet!


Mr. Deadline. Wait a minute.

I think I had my eyes closed
during the picture.

Could you take another one?

If I didn't know any better,
I'd guess you're trying to delay me.

Oh, come on.

Why would we?

I don't know.

The queen wouldn't have something
to hide now, would she?

The queen has nothing to hide.
She will see you now.

Uh, thank you, gentlemen, for stalling--
Uh, showing our friend around.

Let me guess. The White Rabbit.
Am I right or am I right?

You sounded shorter on the phone.

I trust you enjoyed talking
with the Tweedles.

Oh, sure, great guys.
I even took their picture.

Oh, really?

Say, you wouldn't be interested
in taking a few shots of me?

-Well, uh--
-People say I photograph well,

especially my right side.

[Red Queen clears throat]

Ah! Oh. Uh...

Her Royal Majesty, the Queen of Hearts.

Oh! Good afternoon.
You must be the reporter.

This is Alice,
and I assume you've met the White Rabbit.

Dirk Deadline's the name, Your Majesty.
Nice to meet you, kid.

-Hi, Mr. Deadline.
-So how about we start

this little interview off
with, uh, a few pictures?

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Uh-- Ahem.

Uh, excuse me, but, uh...

it would be nicer
if you take your nose out of that book.

Don't be so sure.

Oh, of course. Silly me.

Uh, Your Highness...

maybe you wanna lose the fan too.

Oh, of course.

All right. One, two-- Hold the phone.

Now you got your nose stuck in a bouquet.

Oh, the queen loves flowers.

In fact, uh, she grew these herself.

Oh! Yes. [stammers] So having her shown
with the flowers would, uh...

would show her love of, uh...

gardening.

You know, Your Majesty, uh...

I hope you don't think
I'm sticking my nose in, but, uh...

I'm good at sniffing out a story,

and, uh, it seems to me
that something's up around here.

I assure you that everything is fine.

Then why won't you pose
without your posies?

Please. My readers want to know.

[stammers] It's just that I love flowers
and I can't get enough--

Ah-- Ah-- Oh!

Mr. Rabbit, the queen is going to sneeze.
Hold your finger under her nose.

-Are you kidding? A rabbit could get hurt.
-Ah-- [sneezes]

I feel very strong that the crumpet--

Uh-- Oh!

How thoughtful.

Oh, look.
Somebody sent me a lovely nosegay.

Your Majesty, your nose!

Oh, who cares? It's too late now.

Go on. Take my picture.

I can't do anything
about this ridiculous nose.

Looks like a perfectly normal nose to me,
Your Majesty.

It does? Boy, I'd like to see
the rest of your family.

Your Majesty, look.

[gasps] My nose.
My beautiful, wonderful nose.

Plain old nose. It's mine again. Oh!

[swing music playing]

♪ Take a look at this face ♪

♪ It's so elegant and formal ♪

♪ Since my big nose was replaced ♪

♪ And I'm back to normal ♪

♪ It's easy to explain
How my beauty was regained ♪

♪ It's as plain as the nose on my face ♪

♪ Want my picture? Snap away ♪

♪ Don't you think
I really look good this way? ♪

♪ I like this pose ♪

♪ It highlights my ordinary nose ♪

♪ It's easy to explain
How my beauty was regained ♪

♪ It's as plain as the nose on my face ♪

You ask me, kid, the queen's going
a little overboard on this nose thing.

I mean, it's just a little nose.

I know, but to the queen
a little nose is sort of a big deal.

-One more, Your Majesty.
-Oh, yes.

You know, Mr. Deadline,

-I'd like to take this--
-Rabbit. Rabbit!

-The flash. The flash.
-Here we are.

Beautiful. Very nice.

You know, Dinah,
now that I think about it,

it won't be that bad
to get braces on my teeth.

I might not like how they look
for a while.

But they'll make my teeth
nice and straight.

Besides...

compared to some things,

braces don't look funny at all.

[theme music playing]

♪ That's all for now
But we'll see you again ♪

♪ Come back real soon
Now that we're all friends ♪

♪ Where every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventures in Wonderland ♪