02x09 - Toot-Toot-Tootsies, Goodbye

[bunniefuu]

[quirky music playing]

-Look at this, Dinah, The Slugmonster.
-[meows]

It is gross, isn't it? Listen.

"Suddenly,
I heard an awful squishing sound,

I turned, I held my breath,

and there in front of me
was The Slugmonster!" Ugh!

And look at this one, The Creeping Terror.

Oh, no way.

Even if this comic book said so,
these monsters can't be real.

Can they?

On the other hand,

just because something seems unbelievable
doesn't mean it isn't true.

[theme music playing]

♪ Hold on to your seat
Let's go for a ride ♪

♪ Now that we're here
On the other side ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ It's a curious place
With a wonderful crew ♪

♪ And you're never quite sure
What they will do ♪

♪ Use your imagination
You'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

Boy, this sure is a lot of groceries.

I like the cupboards full.

You never know when 50 or 60
of your closest royal friends

may drop in for dinner.

Wait a minute, what's this?

Oh, nothing. Just an old newspaper
ready for the recycling bin.

"The Bogus Weekly."

What kind of newspaper is this?

Rabbit, I'm surprised at you
reading this ridiculous gossip paper.

Not a word in it is true.

[stammers] I know that.
It's just something to flip through

while I stand in the check-out line.

"Space invaders shop at Wonderland Mall."

-[laughs] Nonsense.
-Nonsense.

"Dog house haunted by ghost of a cat."

[laughs] What silliness!

Silliness, I quite agree.

Look at this,
"Big Tootsies stomps around forest."

[laughing]

Oh, give me a break.

What is Big Tootsies?

Oh. It's a monster
with extremely large feet,

that lives deep in the forest,

at least that's what some people believe.

If you ask me, it's all nonsense.

[dance music playing]

♪ Big-footed Tootsies is on the loose ♪

♪ I've heard it all ♪

♪ Next you'll tell me
That some tiny green men ♪

♪ Were seen shopping
At the Wonderland Mall ♪

♪ I don't go for that nonsense ♪

♪ Where do they get that stuff? ♪

♪ It's just meant to confuse us ♪

♪ I think they're making it up ♪

♪ Did you hear the one about the dog house
Haunted by the ghost of a cat? ♪

♪ Or the Siamese twins from outer space?
Or the 20-pound carnivorous gnat? ♪

♪ I don't go for that nonsense ♪

♪ Where do they get that stuff? ♪

♪ It's just meant to confused us ♪

♪ I think they're making it up ♪

Big Tootsies indeed,
it's nothing but a hoax.

A ridiculous untrue story.

Come along, Alice. Rabbit,
we'll be in the garden, picking flowers.

See you later, Mr. Rabbit.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

But it makes fun reading,
even if it's not true.

If you ask me, you and the queen
need to be less skeptical.

Of course we're skeptical
about Big Tootsies.

The queen and I are far too sensible
to believe in big, uh, footed... monsters.

Well, I'll bet I can make the queen
believe in Big Tootsies.

-You? Ha!
-Yes.

[laughs]

Not a chance.

[laughs]

If I can make the queen believe
in Big Tootsies,

will you vacuum my scratching post
for a whole week?

Fine. But if you can't do it,

then you have to do
my next week's grocery shopping.

-It's a bet.
-Oh!

[both laugh]

Just one thing.
To be fair, you can't tell anyone,

and you have to go along
with everything I do.

It doesn't matter what you do.

The queen will still be as skeptical
about Big Tootsies as she is right now.

[meows]

"Purr" yourself.

Hm. Not bad.
But I'd better make it a bit bigger.

Bigger, bigger, bigger.

Perfect. Now for a few more.

There. Now that I'm done
making tracks here,

I'll make tracks out of here
and wait for the fun to start.

-[cackles]
-[both scat singing]

-Hare, do you see what I see?
-I don't know, let me check.

I do. Giant footprints.

But what sort of creature
could have made them?

I don't know
but I'll bet he is great at kickball.

Check the Wonderland tracking guide,
it shows tracks left by all creatures.

Good idea. Let's see here.

-Bird tracks? No. Chipmunks tracks? No.
-No. No.

-Railroad tracks?
-Well...

Oh! Here it is. According to this,

these tracks were left by the monster...
Big Tootsies.

Oh!

-Big Tootsies!
-Big Tootsies!

In Wonderland? This is terrible.

-Your guestroom isn't even made up.
-Yeah--

No. I mean, this could be dangerous.

-We'd better warn the queen.
-Yeah. Let's go.

Your Majesty! Alice.

Don't panic, we have nothing to fear
but fear itself.

That and Big Tootsies.

Big Tootsies? Oh, good grief.

Don't tell me you two believe
that silly article in the paper.

There's already been a silly article
in the paper? Then you know.

You're joking, right?
Big Tootsies is just a hoax.

This is no hoax, folks.

Hare and I saw
Big Tootsies' actual footprints.

Your Majesty, if they saw the footprints
maybe there really is a Big Tootsies.

It wouldn't be the first time
these two were wrong about something

How true that is.

But if we're right,
we could all be in great danger.

Right. I for one, would not want
Big Tootsie stepping on my toes.

[dance music playing]

♪ Some really big feet
Are lurking around ♪

♪ They must make quite a stomping sound ♪

♪ Big Tootsies must be 10-feet tall ♪

♪ Oh, he's 50-feet if he's tall at all ♪

♪ Well, he's stalking around
In Wonderland ♪

♪ This is more than my heart can stand ♪

♪ He must be huge and strong and furry ♪

♪ You know, Hatter
I'm beginning to worry ♪

♪ For we have seen
Where his feet were put ♪

♪ And we're telling you
There's trouble afoot ♪

♪ I sure hope
We don't meet Big Tootsies, Hare ♪

♪ I'd hate to see his close-up stare ♪

♪ Looking down at me from way up there ♪

♪ Hare, you're giving me quite a scare ♪

♪ For we have seen
Where his feet were put ♪

♪ And we're telling you ♪

-♪ There's trouble afoot ♪
-♪ There's trouble afoot ♪

Harrumph! The only way
there's going to be trouble afoot

is if you two don't stop bothering me
with tall tales of made-up monsters.

[both stammer, then sigh]

[chuckles]

Nice try, Cat, looks like you'll be doing
my grocery shopping soon.

Don't be so sure my boastful bunny.
[chuckles]

[indistinct chatter]

What's going on here?

It's the poor Dormouse,
he's afraid to come out of his teapot.

You don't have to be afraid,
all of your friends are out here.

Oh, really?
How do I know you aren't Big Tootsies?

I only wear a size 5.

Don't tell me the Dormouse believes
in Big Tootsies.

We all do.

-That's right.
-Undoubtedly.

You do?

We were skeptical at first
but then the Hatter showed us this.

Ah!

This is a genuine actual real copy
of the footprints Hare and I saw.

But footprints can be faked.

Besides, if Big Tootsies were real

then why haven't we
seen this creature before?

So Big Tootsies is a little shy,
is that a crime? Is that so wrong?

Give a monster a break, why don't you?

In fact, that's why Dum and I
were interested.

No one's ever taken a picture
of Big Tootsies before.

If we could do that, we'd really have
a story for our newspaper.

So Hatter and I are going to set up
Big Tootsies traps.

Dum and I are gonna get a picture.

And you will install a security alarm
in the palace.

[stammering] Oh, yes-- A security alarm?

Oh, come now, there's no need for that.

I have more important things to do

than put in a silly alarm
for a monster that does not exist.

Thank you.

Really, Rabbit.

What's more important
than protecting our queen?

-Hey, he's right.
-He's got a point.

[indistinct chatter]

But I-- All right then.

A large creature with big feet you say?

I find that hard to believe.

Maybe so, but it's true.
We saw the tracks.

We've decided that it's our job
to catch this creature

for the safety of everyone in Wonderland.

We were hoping
you could suggest a good way

-to lure Big Tootsies into a trap.
-Oh, could you?

No.

But I do have a story here
you may find interesting.

Yeah. All right.

Once there was a monster
who lived in Lake Ness.

Everyone was afraid of the monster
because he was very cranky.

The villagers named him
The Cranky Ness Monster.

They tried to make him happy
by giving him presents.

But they weren't sure
what Cranky Ness wanted.

The villagers tried
all kinds of different things.

But nothing seems to help.

Until the day a little girl
gave the monster what he really wanted.

A big hug.

From then on
the monster was no longer cranky.

In fact, he was so happy they renamed him
the Happy Ness Monster.

And soon a rich man came to Lake Ness
to try to buy the monster for himself.

But the monster was not for sale,

because, as we all know,
money can't buy happiness.

So you're saying
Big Tootsies may not be dangerous,

it may just be wandering
through Wonderland

-because it needs something?
-Exactly.

Now, what do you know about this creature?

Well, just that it has
really big bare feet.

Actually, Hare,
bear feet are usually called paws.

Not bear as in the animal,

bare as in no shoes and socks.

Right.

I'll bet the reason
Big Tootsies wanders the forest

is that it can't find
a decent pair of shoes to wear.

Hare, that's brilliant.

All we have to do
to make Big Tootsies happy

is find some super-sized shoes.

[laughing] Oh!

-Nah. Too small.
-Nah. Too small.

Big Tootsies may have walked here before
but it's nowhere to be seen now.

We haven't seen so much as a big toe.

The thing is, we don't even know
what the creature looks like.

All we know is that
with those feet it must be big.

Big and bad, I'll bet.

Big, bad and barefoot.

[blues music playing]

♪ Hey, Dee, how big is gigantic? ♪

♪ I don't know
How large is huge? ♪

♪ Let's hope that our monster
Has a nice attitude ♪

♪ Maybe he's angry
Because he hasn't got shoes ♪

♪ Maybe he's singing
The extra-extra-large blues ♪

♪ He's big, bad and barefoot
He sure gets around ♪

♪ He's big, bad and barefoot
He's yet to be found ♪

♪ He's big, bad and barefoot
And he's Wonderland bound ♪

♪ I'd say he's titanic
He must tower tremendously tall ♪

♪ People could possible panic
If he poked his head over our wall ♪

♪ A most mysterious monster
I wonder what he eats ♪

♪ I sure hope that people
Are not his favorite treats ♪

♪ He's big, bad and barefoot
He sure gets around ♪

♪ He's big, bad and barefoot
He's yet to be found ♪

♪ He's big, bad and barefoot
And he's Wonderland bound ♪

-♪ You can say he's got a lot of soul ♪
-♪ Yeah, yes ♪

[Hatter & Hare groaning]

Wait. I heard a noise.

[groaning continues]

Someone's coming.

[grunting]

-Put your end down. Okay.
-Okay. Okay.

Oh, it's you guys.

Hello, faithful reporters,
seen any signs of Big Tootsies yet?

No. How about you?

No. No sign of Big Tootsies.

So we made this sign for Big Tootsies.

[Dee] "Big shoe give-away"

-I don't get it.
-Don't you see?

It's not the give-away that's big,
it's the shoes. Ta-da!

We finally figured out
how to bring Big Tootsies out in the open.

The poor barefoot monster
just needs good footwear.

Cross-trainers. Very nice.

I used to have a pair just like these.

Well, in a size 12.

We don't know whether Big Tootsies
is a boy or a girl monster,

so we also brought these lovely
and stylish ladies' pumps.

As well as these classic
gentleman's wingtips.

As you can see, they're just the
right size for a snug yet comfortable fit.

Now all we have to do
is set out these shoes and wait.

All right.

I still don't see why
you put in a security alarm.

It wouldn't have anything to do
with that Big Tootsies nonsense,

-would it?
-Uh... [stammers]

Well, actually, Your Majesty,

uh, having a security alarm
is a good idea for, uh... many reasons.

Oh. Fine. Show me how the alarm works.

Oh! It's quite simple, Your Majesty.
Quite simple indeed.

To turn on the alarm,
you simply enter the, uh--

The easy to remember 12-number code
and wait for the red light.

Then you enter the easy to remember
eight-number code

and wait for the yellow light.

Then you enter the, uh--

The easy to remember four-number code
and wait for the green light.

Oh, that's ridiculous!

How can I remember
that many easy to remember numbers?

Well, I-- [stammers]

Your Majesty,
if I, a simple bunny, can do it,

you can. Observe.

[alarm blaring]

Oh! Oh! Rabbit! Turn that off!

I just did that
so you would know what happens

when you push the wrong button.

Oh, give me that! I'll do it!

Numbers...

-You did it.
-Don't look so surprised.

-So now what?
-Nothing.

Just rest easy,

knowing that not even the tiny little fly
can come through that door

without that alarm going off.

-Hello, Mr. Rabbit. Hello, Your Majesty.
-Hello, Alice. I--

Maybe it needs a little adjustment.

[alarm blaring]

At least we know it still works!

Rabbit!

That must be the palace alarm.

-Big Tootsies is in the palace! Let's go!
-Oh, yes!

I believe this is broken.

Oh! Oh!

There. Now it's fixed.

Your Majesty, are you okay?

Other than the fact
that my ears are ringing, I'm fine.

Your ears made all that noise?

No. Ringing inside.

Oh, thank goodness.
When we heard the alarm,

we thought for sure Big Tootsies
had come to get you.

Oh, for the last time,
there is no such thing as Big Tootsies.

[growling]

-What was that?
-It's just my stomach.

-I haven't had lunch yet and sometimes--
-[growling continues]

Grab yourself a cr*cker or something.

Uh, that wasn't me.

[growling continues]

Big Tootsies.

Look! Look! Behind the curtain.

Big Tootsies must be out there,
trying to get in here.

-[clamoring]
-[growling continues]

Is it possible?

Could it be that I was wrong
about Big Tootsies being a hoax?

-What do we do?
-Well, let's not panic.

I suggest... we all run away really fast.

[growling continues]

Wait a minute.

If Big Tootsies is out there,

how come we didn't hear him
stomping around?

-[deep voice] Uh-oh.
-There's something going on around here

and I intend to find out what it is.

Oh, Your Majesty, don't!

I don't get it. There's nothing there.

Not true, Your Majesty.

Cat, this has gone far enough.
Show yourself.

Ta-da!

So, Cat, are you looking forward
to your trip to the grocery store?

[cackles]

Okay. Okay. You win, Rabbit.

Win what, Mr. Cat?

[laughs]

The Cat bet me that he could make
the queen believe in the monster.

[laughs] Obviously though, it didn't work.

Everyone, ahem, here's your Big Tootsies.

Ta-da!

Mr. Cat made those footprints?

Don't forget my famous Big Tootsies growl.

[growls]

But Her Majesty was skeptical
and never fell for his trick.

So now the Cat has to do
my next week's grocery shopping.

[laughs, then clears throat]

Here's my list, Cat.

Whoa!

And, uh,
don't forget to buy plenty of carrots.

Very funny, bunny.
But you don't have to rub it in.

[cackles]

See? I told you
Big Tootsies was nothing but a hoax.

You were right, Your Majesty.

[dance music playing]

♪ I think that everyone here
Can stop fretting ♪

♪ 'Cause there's nothing
That we've got to fear ♪

♪ We have proof
That there is no Big Tootsies ♪

♪ In the castle or anywhere near ♪

♪ It's not nice to scare
The Hatter and the Hare ♪

♪ You shouldn't take pokes
At innocent folks ♪

♪ It's lucky we are all schooled
Or we might have been fooled ♪

♪ We've had it with these jokes
That's not a hoax ♪

♪ We think that everyone here
Can stop fretting ♪

♪ 'Cause there's nothing
That we've got to fear ♪

♪ We have proof
That there is no Big Tootsies ♪

♪ In the castle or anywhere near ♪

♪ It's not nice to scare
The Hatter and the Hare ♪

♪ We should say no thanks
To devious pranks ♪

♪ You shouldn't take pokes
At innocent folks ♪

♪ We've had it with these jokes
That's not a hoax ♪

I do feel silly,
but at least we can all stop worrying.

Actually, this Big Tootsie scare
was pretty funny if you think about it.

That's easy for you to say,

you didn't spend half your day
looking for some place to buy shoes...

in a size 86.

You know, Dinah, this comic book
may say all these monsters are real,

but, come on,
the suburban Slugmonster must be a hoax.

And even if it's not, I'm not afraid.

I've got my ferocious watch cat
to protect me. Yes. Yes.

[theme music playing]

♪ That's all for now
But we'll see you again ♪

♪ Come back real soon
Now that we're all friends ♪

♪ Where every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventures in Wonderland ♪