03x36 - Those Tusks, Those Eyes

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

Hey, Dinah. How do you like my new shades?

I think they're great.

The problem is,
will I look good in regular glasses,

especially if I have to
wear them all the time?

I have my yearly checkup
at the eye doctor tomorrow.

-[meows]
-No. The checkup itself is no big deal.

But I'm always worried I'll need glasses.

Well, I don't know if the eye doctor
will think I see clearly.

But I can clearly see I need to go
somewhere to get my mind off the problem.

[theme music playing]

♪ Hold on to your seat
Let's go for a ride ♪

♪ Now that we're here
On the other side ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ It's a curious place
With a wonderful crew ♪

♪ And you're never quite sure
What they will do ♪

♪ Use your imagination
You'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

-Here we are in Paris. [laughs]
-Oh!

Oh! And here Pinniped and I are
at our high school graduation.

And here we are on our vacation last year.

-Oh, what's this picture?
-Oh, it's my old stage act.

To earn a bit of extra money, I used to be
a precision creampuff thrower.

Uh...

-Creampuff thrower?
-Ah...

Precision creampuff thrower.

To do something with precision means
to do it carefully, expertly, precisely.

You see,
my assistant would stand against a wall,

and I would throw creampuffs,
making a perfect outline of her body.

I don't get it. Why throw creampuffs?

Oh, well, the ice cream cones
kept melting halfway through the act.

Yes, sir! It took steel nerves,

an eagle eye, and a rock-steady hand.

And a full wallet
to pay the laundry bills.

Not at all.
You see, the whole point of the act was

that I would throw creampuffs
all around my assistant,

while never getting
even one tiny dollop of whipped cream

on her costume.

Ah!

Those were the days.
All the travel, the glamour, the applause!

Let me tell you,

nothing beats being onstage.

[dance music playing]

♪ I threw creampuffs for my supper
From New Orleans to Kalamazoo ♪

♪ Every town rolled out the red carpet
Even when I played the Bronx Zoo ♪

♪ Nothing beats being onstage
You can play any age ♪

♪ You can show your emotions
From joy to rage ♪

♪ Oh, nothing beats being onstage ♪

♪ How I love to be in the limelight
Soakin' up the crowd's applause ♪

♪ Sometimes I left the audience crying
Sometimes I left them with guffaws ♪

♪ But nothing beats being onstage
You can play any age ♪

♪ You can show your emotions
From joy to rage ♪

♪ Oh, nothing beats being onstage ♪

♪ Nothing beats being onstage ♪

♪ Ha! ♪

Rabbit! Have you seen today's paper?
It's an outrage! Look at it!

Oh. Let's see. It says--

It says, "Daring Duchess
bobsleds for charity, raises big money."

-Have you seen the picture?
-Oh, if--

It shows the Duchess in full color,
sitting in a bobsled.

-And did you read what she said?
-Well, no--

"I simply adore
doing daring deeds for charity,

unlike some cowardly queens
I can mention." Oh, harumph!

I've got to figure out
something daring to do to top the Duchess.

Gee, too bad Mr. Walrus
doesn't do his stage act anymore.

You could be his assistant.

Stage act?

Uh, yes, Your Majesty.

I used to do
a precision creampuff throwing act.

Creampuff throwing? Hm...

What about this assistant?
Would you say she had to be, uh, daring?

Oh, I should say so, Your Majesty!

Why, if the Walrus' aim
was off by even a teeny bit...

Pop! Creampuff, right in the old kisser.

Oh, it does sound dangerous.

Unless the, uh, thrower is a real expert.

-Were you good at this act of yours?
-Well... [laughs] not to brag,

but among creampuff throwers,
I was the cream of the crop.

-[laughs]
-Ah!

Great! Rabbit, spread the word!
There's gonna be a charity fundraiser

featuring the creampuff throwing Walrus

and his lovely, daring assistant. Me.

Oh, no, Your Majesty, I couldn't!

Oh, stop being modest.

You already said you could,
so you can and you will.

Uh, Rabbit! Inform the media
while I go call the Duchess.

-[laughing]
-Oh, whoopie.

Oh!

[groans]

-Hi, Mr. Walrus!
-Mm.

Um, why are you reading
the train schedule?

You never know when
you'll need to get out of town in a hurry.

Why are you holding the paper so closely?
Can you see okay?

Of course.
I have excellent vision. I can see fine.

I don't know. The way you were reading,
you might need glasses.

[guffaws]

Nonsense!

I would look ridiculous in glasses.

Besides, I don't need them.

I'm not so sure. Can you tell
how many fingers I'm holding up?

Oh! Of course. Ha, ha!

I can do that with, uh--
with, uh... no problem.

Oh! Oh. Oh, oh... oh.

Four!

Ha, ha! There.
That should prove I don't need glasses.

And now I've got to get to the bakery
to buy some creampuffs. So long, Alice!

Oh, and don't worry about my eyesight.
It's as clear as day.

Hm. A foggy day, maybe.

[cooing]

[cooing]

[whistles]

[cawing]

-[birds chirping and singing]
-Ah!

-There you are. I knew you were up there!
-We're not up there. We're down here.

Oh! Oh, I was speaking to my
fine feathered friend up in that tree.

I've been trying to spot him
since sunrise.

You know what they say,
"The early worm gets the bird."

[laughs, then stammers]

Whoo...

You see?
It's a rare blue-beaked booby bird.

-[bird singing]
-Uh...

No, not there.

There.

Can't you see it?

Uh, almost, if I squint.

Well, it looks to me as if
someone needs to get his eyes checked.

Oh, and maybe end up
having to get glasses?

They'll ruin my rugged good looks.

Well, you're reasonably handsome,
considering you're not green.

But what makes you think that
getting glasses will make you look goofy?

I think you'd better listen to this story.

Once, there was a kangaroo named Keith,
who jumped a lot.

Of course, all kangaroos jump a lot,

but Keith had
a tendency to jump to conclusions.

In other words,
no matter what he saw going on,

he always thought the worst
without finding out the whole story.

When he saw
a collection of koalas consuming,

he jumped to the conclusion

that it was a party
where he was not welcome.

And when he saw
a clique of kookaburras cackling,

he jumped to the conclusion that
they were having a laugh at his expense.

Finally, Keith jumped to the conclusion
that he didn't have any friends.

But Keith did have friends,
and one of them finally put his foot down.

Keith's friend scolded him
for always jumping to conclusions.

"If you'd just stick around long enough
to see what's really going on,"

his friend said,

"you'll realize
that things aren't always what they seem."

Keith decided his friend was right.

Jumping to conclusions
was a good way to get his feelings hurt.

So from that day on,
Keith never jumped to conclusions,

and this put a bounce back into his step.

So did that kangaroo remind you of anyone?

Not really.

I meant that like the kangaroo,

you jump to conclusions

when you assume
you won't look good in glasses.

I don't assume. I know.

I'd rather see poorly than look bad.

Oh, Walrus!

Walrus, don't be embarrassed.

Alice told us everything.

So you need glasses, so what?

Yes, it's possible I need them.
But I don't want to wear--

Don't worry.

I think we have something here
that'll really make your day.

This lovely set
of decorative yet practical tumblers.

No, not drinking glasses.

When I say I need glasses,
it's because when I look at you,

you're all fuzzy.

Well, thank you for noticing, Walrus.

No, not just you.
The Hatter looks fuzzy too.

Wow! That-- Impossible!
I just shaved this morning.

I mean, I need eyeglasses.

My vision isn't clear.

-Oh!
-Oh!

Well, you still came to the right place.

It just so happens we carry
an extensive selection of fashion frames,

all ready to take to the eye doctor
and have prescription lenses put in them.

That's the problem,
I don't wanna wear glasses.

You don't still believe that old saying,

"Girls don't make passes
at walruses who wear glasses," do you?

[groans]

These days,
glasses come in all shapes and sizes.

I'll bet we can even find some
to match your tusks.

[pop music playing]

♪ Put your mind at ease
Feast your eyes on these ♪

♪ In assorted shapes and varieties ♪

-♪ We've got fancy ones ♪
-♪ We've also got plain ♪

♪ Now, these come in handy
When you're walkin' in the rain ♪

♪ Lots of colors and sizes
And designer styles ♪

♪ You're sure to find a pair
To make your eyes all smiles ♪

-♪ Here's a serious look ♪
-♪ Here's one for playing games ♪

♪ We've got whatever you need ♪

♪ Here at Hatter and Hare's
Fantastic Fashion Frames ♪

♪ I think red would look good on you ♪

♪ Then again, maybe something in blue ♪

♪ These light up when you're in the dark ♪

♪ This pair here
Is made out of palm tree bark ♪

♪ Lots of colors and sizes
And designer styles ♪

♪ We're sure to find a pair
To make your eyes all smiles ♪

-♪ These are on special ♪
-♪ Painted with flames ♪

♪ We've got whatever you need ♪

♪ Here at Hatter and Hare's
Fantastic Fashion Frames ♪

[laughing]

Oh, now, those are you!

Actually, they look more like his mom.

I agree, Dormouse.

Thank you for your help, but it's no use.

I look goofy in glasses, and that's that.

No, I've got to find some other way

to get ready
for my creampuff throwing act.

And I know just what to do.

Thank you for agreeing to help me.
Did you bring the creampuffs?

Oh!

Excellent!

I'm confused, Walrus.

If your vision is blurry,
what good is it to practice?

You won't see your targets, anyway.

You should just go to the eye doctor.

Oh, nonsense. This plan is foolproof.

And here's how it works.

[humming]

This cardboard copy of the Queen

shows exactly how she will stand
when I throw the creampuffs.

Uh, Walrus, I thought
the whole idea was to use the real Queen.

This is just for practice.

Then I will back up ten steps,

the same distance
the Queen will be from me.

But you still need to aim your throws.
How will you do that?

That's where your brother comes in.

Here, Tweedle Dee,
here's your walkie talkie.

Now, you get behind me
and tell me where to move my arm,

and I will listen
through this tiny earphone.

[laughs] Let's try it.

Move your arm
a little to the right. There.

Perfect!

Really? Ha, ha! Now I don't need to worry
about wearing glasses.

Are you sure it wasn't just luck?

No. Luck had nothing to do with it.
Let's keep going, double time!

All right.

To the right. To the left.

Lower. Higher.

Higher.

To the left. To the right.

Higher.

There. How does it look?

Like the White Rabbit in a snowstorm.

Uh, Walrus, I think it's time
you made that trip to the eye doctor.

Oh! Oh... hm.

I can see you may be right.

Trust us, it's a lot better
for you to end up wearing eyeglasses...

Than for the Queen
to end up wearing whipped cream.


[woman] Okay, we're almost done.
Now, which is better,

this, lens number one,
or this, lens number two?

The second one.

Good. Now the left eye.

Which is better, this, lens number one,
or this, lens number two?

Uh... the second one again.

-Very good. That does it.
-Oh!

This is your prescription.

That is the kind of lenses you'll need.

You're just nearsighted,

which means you can only
see things clearly when they're near.

Oh, in my case,
close enough to bump my tusks.

Not anymore.

With your new glasses, I promise you,
your pearly whites are going to be safe.

I see.

Now, tell me, honestly,
how do you think I'll look in glasses?

Trust me, when you put them on,
you'll like what you see.

Oh.

[dance music playing]

♪ Will I look great in glasses?
Will the girls still make passes? ♪

♪ Put your trust in me ♪

♪ You'll like what you see ♪

♪ Will they frame my face
With extraordinary taste? ♪

♪ You'll be happy as can be ♪

♪ You'll like what you see ♪

♪ When my vision becomes clear
I'll see far as well as near ♪

♪ I won't need to worry
When the world's no longer blurry ♪

♪ When I open up my eyes
Will I be pleasantly surprised? ♪

♪ You'll sing out in glee
You'll like what you see ♪

♪ When my vision becomes clear
I'll see far as well as near ♪

♪ I won't need to worry
When the world's no longer blurry ♪

♪ So I'll look great in glasses
And the girls will still make passes ♪

♪ Put your trust in me ♪

♪ I'll like what I see ♪

♪ Most definitely ♪

♪ You'll like what you see ♪

Well, perhaps it would be nice
to be able to see clearly.

I'll just take my glasses
and be on my way.

Oh, they're not ready yet,
but you can pick them up tomorrow.

Have a nice day!

Oh! Tomorrow? No, no, no. In one hour,
I have to throw creampuffs at the Queen.

Oh, isn't there a law
against that kind of thing?

Oh, it's a stage act.
Oh, I must have those glasses.

Or instead of precision throwing
that leaves the Queen spotless,

she'll be creamed!
Or should I say, creampuffed.

[sighs]

I'll do what I can, but I can't promise.

This is ridiculous!
Where is he? We've got the creampuffs.

Creampuffs, right here.

We've got the newspaper reporters.

Reporters, right here.

And we've got
the lovely and daring assistant.

Me, you chuckleheads!

-Oh!
-Oh, okay.

So the question is, where is that Walrus?

Here he is. I ran into him
as I was passing the train station.

The train station?
What were you doing there?

Probably thinking about making tracks.

How true that is.

Well, uh, let's get this show on the road.
Rabbit, introduce us.

[clearing throat]

Ladies and Caterpillars,

Hatters and Hares, gentlemen of the press,

I give you the Wonderful Walrus

and his lovely and daring assistant
the Red Queen!

Actually, Your Majesty,
there may be a problem.

You see, my new eyeglasses--

Eyeglasses schmeyeglasses!

I told the Duchess
I'm having my picture in the paper.

There's no turning back now.

-But without my eyeglasses, I can't--
-Look!

You said you were an expert
at creampuff throwing, right?

-Yes.
-Well, let's get to it.

When it comes to outdoing the Duchess
by doing a daring deed,

this queen doesn't duck.

Not that I'd blame her if she did.

The tension's more than I can stand.

[Hare] I know.

What if he uses up all the creampuffs?
I was hoping to have a couple for dessert.

Well, here goes.

Hold that creampuff, pal!

Sorry to stop the show,

but I have a special
Kitty Express delivery for the Walrus.

A pair of eyeglasses!

[Cheshire Cat] Very handsome too!

Although I've always
preferred cat's eye frames.

I can really see!

Oh, Pinniped, you look great!

In fact, nice haircut.

Hey! You and your invisible friend
can trade personal grooming tips

some other time.

Get on with the act!

Sure, he's finally wearing glasses,
but he's still out of practice.

This could get messy.

Oh, I can't look.

Fire away!

[carnival music playing]

[gasping]

I can't believe it!

[gasps] Your Majesty! You're spotless!

The finest example of precision
creampuff throwing I've seen in years!

[cheering]

Thank you, thank you,
but I can't take all the credit.

That's right. After all,
you couldn't have done it without me.

Yes, that's true, Your Majesty,

but, actually,
I was speaking about my new glasses. Ha!

-I couldn't have done it without them.
-And very attractive glasses they are too.

May we have your picture for the paper?

Hey! What about
getting a picture of the daring assistant?

In a moment, Your Majesty.

After all, the real star is

the Walrus deciding
to get these sharp new spectacles.

[rock music playing]

♪ He looks good in glasses ♪

♪ To everyone it's plain to see ♪

♪ I'll admit he's got talent
But he couldn't do a thing without me ♪

♪ He's got an eye for news
Ever since he got new glasses ♪

♪ His vanity was all he had to lose ♪

♪ He's got an eye for news ♪

♪ Extra, extra, read all about it
Walrus is going to make the front page ♪

♪ He may deserve some credit
But without me he couldn't get on stage ♪

♪ He's got an eye for news ♪

♪ Ever since he got new glasses ♪

♪ His vanity was all he had to lose ♪

♪ He's got an eye for news ♪

♪ His vanity was all he had to lose ♪

♪ He's got an eye for news ♪

You know, Dinah, I've been
thinking about my visit to the eye doctor.

I'm no expert,
but I'm pretty sure my vision is okay.

But even if I do need
to get glasses someday, I wouldn't mind.

After all, my friend Kim wears them,
and they look great on her.

So I guess
glasses not only can help you see better,

they can help you look better too.
See? Look.

[theme music playing]

♪ That's all for now
But we'll see you again ♪

♪ Come back real soon
Now that we're all friends ♪

♪ Where every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventures in Wonderland ♪