03x02 - Weiner Lose/Yankee Doodle Bunny

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(SERENE MUSIC PLAYING)

(INAUDIBLE)

(POPPING)

(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

(SCREECHING)

(POPS)

(POPPING)

(POPPING)

(POPS)

(THUDDING)

(SCREECHING)

NARRATOR: The year was 1776.

America was a tiny colony
of the mighty British Empire.

But beneath the soil
of these placid farms,

the seeds of revolution
were already being sown.

What? You want how much
for carrot-infused tea?

What, what, cheerio,
read the sign.

It's one pound six pence.

Yeah, but yesterday, it was
only one pound three pence.

What, what, it's not my
fault, sir, cheerio,

it's the British Empire,
what, what.

They tax the tea.
Cheerio, what, what.

Hey, you in the boat,
I got a complaint.

Hark, I hear the sound
of dissent to be stifled.

Whoa!

(THUDDING AND GROANING)

What is your complaint?

You're taxing the tea
and I don't like it.

All subjects
of the British Empire

must render
the requisite tea tax.

Well, I'm not paying it.

Then you're gonna be in trouble.

I ain't afraid of you.

(YELPS) Now I'm afraid of you.

(GROANS)

Not only do you have
to pay the tea tax,

but also, the income tax,

the property tax, the air tax,

the water tax, the sin tax,

finally, the boot tax.

Uh, what's the boot tax?

- This.
-(SCREAMS)

(CRASHES)

Hut, two, three, four,

left shoulder, arms,

right shoulder, arms,
left face, right face.

- Hut, two, three, four.
- Huh?

Halt, who goes there?

Private first class, Bugs Bunny,

second fellow
of the third battalion,

set forth on the fifth day
of the six month

because seven, eight, nine.

Ten, hut.

Well, if you're on duty,

then you'll wait
for morning drills.

Attention!

Sir, yes, sir.

Left shoulder,
arms, left face.

(GRUNTS) Ooh, you hit me
right in the face.

- Right face.
- Ow!

I didn't mean right face.

I meant left face!

Ow! Oh, forget it.
Drills are over.

I have to show you
to your duties.

I already did my duty.

I put it in that
bucket over there.

(BUZZING)

Oh, that's not a bucket,
that's my lunch pail.

Just follow me.

First task will be to take
these drums of ammunition
to the armory.

Ooh, I love the drums.

♪ Honey dew... ♪

Stop it, that's gunpowder,

that's very expl*sive.

Oops! My bad.

Now pick it up
and carry it into the armory.

Okay, now, let's see.

Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

Nah, it's too heavy.

Oh, I'll do it.

(GRUNTING)

Let me help you there.

There you go, bub.

Now, we're responsible for
protecting the cannonballs,

muskets, these fireworks,
and finally, the gunpowder.

Hey, Doc, that barrel
of gunpowder you were carrying
sprung a leak.

Where? It's too dark,
I can't see anything.

Don't worry, I got a lantern.

Oops! I dropped it.

What? Let em out of here!

Is this what you wanted?

(expl*si*n)

(GROANS)

There you are.
The King just arrived!

He can't see you like this.

I'll get you some fresh clothes.

Now, let's see what we got.

Red coat, red coat, red coat.

Uh, gee, got a lot
of variety here.

Will you just get me
some clothes?

Soldier, where is your uniform?

Your Majesty.
(KISSING)

Stop groveling
and take me to your ship.

Welcome aboard, Your Majesty.

I pride myself in keeping
the finest, most immaculate
ship in the fleet.

What a dump!

Excuse me, sir?

I said,
this place is a dump!

Now, scrub that deck.

Polish that wheel.
Dance me a jig.

Tickle this chicken.

-(SCREAMS)
- Now go scrub that cannon.

Cannons don't get dirty
on the outside.

Sir, yes, sir.

Fire in the hole.

(SCREAMS)

(GROANING)

Well done, lad.

That's the spirit
of the Empire in action.

I think you earned
yourself a knighthood.

Kneel before your King.

(GROANING)

Of course, to knight you,

I will employ
the royal two-by-four.

My sword
is at the dry cleaners.

I dub thee Sir Elmer
of the Lumpy Skull.

(GROANING)

And one to grow on.

-(GROANS)
- That ought to do it.

Congratulations, Sir Elmer,
you're now a knight.

Hey, you're the king,
you're the rabbit,

And you're cute.

(KISSES)

Oh, I'm gonna
throw you off this ship!

(GROANING)

(GROWLS)

- Yoo-hoo.
- Huh?

Here, here,
get rid of these.

We got to find the rabbit.

Dump the tea overboard!

No, wait.

It's not what you think.

I'm in the British Army.

Stop in the name of the...

(SCREAMING)

NARRATOR: And that's how
the revolutionary w*r
got started.

Wait a minute,
that's not how it happened.

Eh, so maybe
it wasn't exactly accurate,

but it sure was
a heck of a tea party.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)