03x12 - Rhoda's Road House/Claire de Loon

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS)

Are you sure
this place is great
all-you-can-eat salad bar?

- Oh yeah.
- Well, I guess
we'll give it a try.

(MUSIC STOPS)

(GROLWING)

What do you punks want?

Table for two, please.

Oh, by all means.

Will you boys kindly give
these gentlemen a table?

The salad bar
might be great, Squeaks,

but the service is terrible.

This place is for bikers only.

Well, Squeaks and I just got
our training wheels off
last week.

Not bicycles, motorcycles.

Thunder rockets, hogs.

Well, I have a friend
named Porky pig,

I could hitch a piggy back
ride on him.

This restaurant only serves
the toughest
motorcycle bikers.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(MUSIC STOPS)

Huh?

Give us two sweet teas.

Hold the sweet.

Who are you guys?

- You talking to me?
- Yeah.

- Are you talking to me?
- Yes.

- Are you talking to me?
- Yes, I'm talking to you.

Oh, hold on.
It's hard to hear you
with this helmet on.

This is my restaurant
and I don't know you two.

I'm Chainsaw,

and this filthy animal here
is Axehandle.

(GNAWING)

Well, we only serve
bikers in here.

How do I know
you're a couple of
motorcycle riders?

(BABBLING ANGRILY)

Easy, Axehandle, easy.

Of course, we're
motorcycle riders.

We rode in on that hog
that's blocking the entrance.

- I got bugs in my teeth
to prove it.
- Ugh!

Axehandle's also got
bugs in his teeth.

Get the picture?

Well, then, a couple of tough
bikers like yourselves
wouldn't have a problem

riding on Daisy.

Our mechanical bull.

No problem. Let's ride.

- You're on backwards.
- Let's ride.

Okay.

Now, let's see how long
you last on Daisy.

Not bad for a kiddie ride.

Time to take it up a notch.

When does it start
to get rough?

(GROWLING)

If you really
want a challenge,
try standing up.

It makes your center
of gravity higher.

(GRUNTING)

Giddy up.

Just because you rode
a mechanical bull
don't mean you're a biker.

- A biker has to be tough.
- I'm tough as nails.

I challenge you to
an arm wrestling match.

You're on.

One, two... (GRUNTS)

Hey, you didn't
say three!

Too bad.
This here's Rhoda's House
and Rhoda's rules.

By the way, I had an onion and
tuna fish sandwich with a side
of sweatsock for lunch.

- Pa-pow.
- Oh!

Oh! Hey, that's cheating.

Rhoda's Road House
rule number one,
there are no rules.

-(CLANK)
-(YELLS)

- I win.
- That doesn't count.

Rhoda's Road House
rule number one,

I rule.

Not so fast!
I'm still not convinced
you're real bikers.

What more do you want?

Hot pepper eating contest.

Game on.

BOTH: Woo.

First, the extremely
hot pepper.

(expl*si*n)

Your turn.

That was nothing.

Next up, the crazy,
hot ghost pepper.

(GLASS SHATTERS)

-(expl*si*n)
-(GROANS)

My turn.

(EXCLAIMS)

Is that what qualifies
for ridiculously hot
these days?

Then what about
the Himalaya fire

"whatyouthinkingabout"
pepper?

Not the Himalaya fire
"whatyouthinkingabout"
pepper.

Nothing happened.

Yeah. I thought--

Squeaks!
I mean, Axehandle,
I need milk!

(GULPING)

I need milk, too.
Give me that.

Himalayan fire juice?

What you thinking about?

(GROANS)

One more challenge.

A real biker can do
all sorts of bike tricks.

Like this.

Pow!

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Easy, Axehandle, easy.

He prefers to call
that bike dancing.

And now, we're about
to show you the most amazing
bike dancing of all time.

Hit it, Red.

Let's square dance, y'all!
Places now.

Now bow to your corner.

♪ Two hands up
and round you go

♪ Break it off a dosey doe

♪ Licking mama chicken
sticking picking your nose

♪ Rev your engine
loud as it goes

(COUGHING)

♪ The sidecar
is a pretty little thing.

♪ Take a proper nod
around the ring

♪ Big tire up
and big tire down

♪ Make that lady
eat the ground

♪ Eat the ground,
eat the ground

♪ Now spin yourself
back around

♪ Lady spits out dust
and the guys step in

♪ Back you go
and forward again

♪ Allemande left,
look over your shoulder

♪ Then just for fun,
run the lady over

♪ And skip to the Lou,
my darling

(GROANS)

(GROWLS)

♪ And now you're home
Bow to your corner

- Rhoda's got a rage.
-(TIRES SCREECHING)

♪ And bow to your partner ♪

-(CRASHES)
-(RHODA GROANS)

(GROANING)

What can I get for
couple of rough-tough
real bikers like you two?

We'll take two small
side salads and a couple
of sarsaparillas.

Pretty please.

We'll get that right away
for you and just like me.
it's on the house. (GROANS)

(DAFFY DUCK EXCLAIMING ON TV)

Back! Stand back, landlubbers.
It is I, Sir Daffy Duck.

I'm about to rescue
this damsel in distress.

Well, actually it's more
of a night gown.

(LAUGHING)

All right, you two.
That's enough Daffy Duck
for one day.

It's time for you two
to go to bed.

BOTH: Oh, but we love
Daffy Duck.

Just five more minutes.

BOTH: Please.

It's way past
your bed time as is.

- But--
- You heard me.

No ifs, ands, or ducks.

BOTH: Aww.

Now, sleep tight, you two.

But, Mom, we're not even...

(YAWNING) ...tired.

Just close your eyes, Justin,
and before you know it,

you'll be fast asleep.

I doubt it.

(CLAIR DE LUNE PLAYING)

Rise and shine, little ones.
How did you sleep?

We flew to the moon.

And Daffy Duck was there.

Yeah. We played
with the stars--

Then rode around
the carousel with him.

Sounds like you had
an incredible dream.

Now get dressed
and come down to breakfast.

But it wasn't a dream.
It wasn't.

Was it Phoebe?

-(FROG CROAKS)
- Hmm.

Could be.

(BLOWS)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)