03x16 - Bunny Man/Quagmire of Solace

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(DAINTY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC
PLAYING)

Hey, it's me, animal activist

and environmental warrior,
Trey Hugger.

I've made it my life's mission
to ensure that these rabbits

are kept safe
and looked after.

Ow!

Are you okay?

Forgive me, my friend.

- Relax, Doc, I'm fine.
- Oh, thank goodness.

Don't worry,
with Trey on the job

no harm will come to you.

Aw, gee, thanks. Uh...

But I can take care of myself.

Let's get out of here,
Squeaks.

Leave the Frisbee.

Walk safe.

And know I'm always
watching over you.

Always.

(THUNDER CRACKS)

(SQUEAKS CHIRPING)

I don't know why he
doesn't wanna protect
the squirrels, Squeaks.

What?
My carrots, they're gone!

I threw out those nasty,
harmful carrots.

You did what?

I replaced them
with healthy, organic carrots.

They should be ready
in six months.

No, no, my precious crop
of carr... reeks!

Ow! (GASPS)
My carrot patch stinks!

I fertilize with
decomposing food and trash.

- It's nature's candy.
-(SQUEAKS RETCHES)

(FLIES BUZZING)

- Yuck!
- Well, for your sake,

I hope carrots sprout out
instead of garbage.

(THUNDER CRACKS)

Sheesh,
can you believe this guy?

Oh, come on.
Where's all my furniture?

I took all your furniture
for some deep fabric cleaning.

Well, you need
to get out of here

before I take you
to the cleaners.

♪ Sittin' in the bathtub
Eating lots of cheese ♪

Ooh, that feels nice.

- How's the water?
Warm enough for you?
-(SCREAMS)

Enough is enough.
I don't need your help!

- So just leave me alone...
(GROANING)
-(TREY GASPING)

(GROANS)

Hey, mi amigo, you awake, bud?

What the... Uh, where am I?

Relax, my friend,
you're safe in my pad.

You're lucky I was
watching you when you fell.

I fell because you were
watching me.

Why can't I move?

I had to make sure
you didn't fall
and bump your noggin, bro bro.

So I attached you to my
gravity inversion machine.

It's safe
and helps blood circulation.

- Check it out.
- Whoa!

I've been thinking that,
for your own protection,

you should stay here
at my place, for like,
forever, maybe?

You're talking crazy.

- You need to let me go.
- No dice.

Now you hang tight.

I'm off to pick
some organic produce

from the urban farm
I got growing on my roof.

And don't worry,
I'm locking the door
so no one can get in.

Or out.

-(THUNDER CRACKS)
-(LOCK CLICKS)

(GRUNTING)

- Oh, thank goodness, Squeaks!
-(SQUEAKS CHIRPING)

What? No, I didn't move out
to live with this goofball!

He's locked me in.
You gotta help me out!

(MUMBLING) Ah!

(GRUNTS)

- Oh.
-(CRASHES)

- TREY: Good news!
-(LOCK CLICKS)

The organic shallots are
in season.

I've been thinking.

I'm actually stoked
to start living more
organically,

and reduce my carbon footprint
here with you, hombre.

What say we have
some eco-friendly fun?

I'm down.
Let me just get you
out of these ropes.

Oh, you're going down,
all right.

- What'd you say?
- Uh, I said, uh...
"Goji berries rock."

- Yeah, they do.
- Phew.

You know, I'm looking around
your place, brah,

and it seems like there are
some things in here

that could do
some real harm to you.

- Really? No way.
- Way.

And I think it's only fair

that if your job is
to keep me safe,

then my job is
to keep you safe.

I mean,
look at this endless scarf.

Yeah, check it. It's made of
recycled cloth diapers.

I had to dye it burnt sienna,
because--

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I don't wanna know. Yuck.

Well, look at this scarf,

it's so long,
it could easily get caught

- in your solar-powered
juice extractor.
-(WHIRRING)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

Oh, no!
My hipster facial hair.

It took me two seconds
to grow that.

(GRUNTS)

(IN REGULAR VOICE)
There we go.

And what about
this kitchen table
made of old reclaimed wood?

- It's a ticking time b*mb.
- It is? No way!

I got this baby
back-packing through
Indonesia.

I was protesting
the destruction of

the endangered earthworms
of Jakarta.

Fishing destroys worms!

Cool story, bro,
but see how dangerous it is

- when holding your
tree stump chairs.
-(GRUNTING)

And these hanging antique pots
could sure do some damage.

- Fishing destroys worms!
-(POTS CLANGING)

-(CLANGING)
-(TREY GRUNTING)

Hey, wake up, pal.

Here, let me fix you up
a nice cup of espresso.

Come to think of it,

- these things
are pretty dangerous too.
- Ow!

-(WHIMPERING)
- But not as dangerous
as this retro refrigerator.

(TREY GRUNTS)

You know, I think the best way
to keep you safe,

and the best thing
for the environment,

is if you leave
and go back to your hole.

I don't know, dude.

- You know, I feel like I--
- Trust me, brah,

you need to leave, like now.

Hey, Squeaks, I'm back.

I stopped by the store
to get some carrots...

Oh, no, you're not
kidnapping me again.
Now, get out!

Relax, hombre.

I'm here to see
this magnificent creature.

Squeaks?

I've made it my mission
to make sure these animals

are protected and receive
all the TLC they need.

Their safety is vital
to our delicate eco-balance.

(CHIRPING)

More organic, free-range,

- acorn substitute,
Mr. Squirrel?
- Uh-huh.

Ah. (GULPS)

I guess
I shouldn't be surprised.

Squirrels love nuts.

(FLY BUZZING)

(SPEEDBOAT APPROACHING)

Agent Double Le Pew,
reporting to base.

I have found
the alpha machine.

I am going in.

(GRUNTING)

That is more I like it.

Open up,
this is Double Le Pew,
international spy--

If you are a super spy,

then I must be
a "super, super spy."

Agent Claudette,
what are you doing here?

Looking for Elmer BloFudd's
super secret weapon.

And I think I found it.

So you have.

Allow me to give you
a congratulatory kiss. Hmm...

(GRUNTS) Or,
I can just lie here.

Now, I just have to diffuse it
and save the world!

There seems to be
some kind of crank.

I ain't no crank!

I just like things
the way they is!

Eh, we were talking about

the crank
at the side of this box.

Get off my porch!

Hmm.

-(HUMMING POP GOES THE WEASEL)
- No, wait. Le Pew!

(RATTLING)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

(LAUGHING)

I see you fell into
my little trap.

There is no alpha machine.

It was just a clever ruse

to get you into this
dangerous swamp

so I can destroy you
once and for all.

(GASPS) Le Pew, look out!

OLD MAN: Whoa!

You saved my life.

Let me thank you
by giving you a kiss. Hmm...

(GRUNTS) Or,
I can just lie here.

Get on your feet, Le Pew.

We have to get out
of this swamp.

But my boat is
completely destroyed.

Along with all my cool
secret agent gadgets.

You must rely on
your training.

Of course. My training.

(INHALES)

(SINGING
FRENCH NATIONAL ANTHEM)

Not your vocal training,
your secret agent training.

Ah, yes, that.

Well, my secret agent training

is telling me,
we should get moving.

(ALLIGATORS GROWLING)

Because this place
is crawling with alligators.

(SNARLING)

(WHIRRING)

After them,
my martial arts alligators.

(VOCALIZING
MARTIAL ARTS SOUNDS)

(GROWLING)

-(BOTH GRUNT)
- What a ridiculous
fighting style.

(COMICAL INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING)

(SNARLS)

(BARKING)

-(GROWLING)
- PEPE: Heads up.

(LAUGHING)
What a bunch of chowder-heads.

Look, a boat.

- What a coincidence.
- Careful, Le Pew.

It could be
one of BloFudd's traps.

My secret agent sense
is tingling.

Or perhaps, it is caused by
the holding of my hand?

No?

Just me? Oh, well.

Never fear.

My instincts are telling me
this boat is safe.

(GROWLING)

Look out! A giant anaconda.

ALLIGATOR: Not to be
a know-it-all Nellie,

but anacondas are native
in the Amazons,

not in Louisiana. (SLURPS)

Cut it out.

This isn't the time
for accurate factoids.

-(GROWLS)
-(GASPS) Le Pew!

(SMACKS LIPS)

(RETCHES)

(SIGHS)

(GARGLING)

I always was
an acquired taste.

Bravo, Le Pew.
Now, let's get out of here.

So, they defeated
my giant anaconda, eh?

It appears I'm going to
have to take matters
into my own hands.

Never fear, ma cherie.

I will have us
out of this swamp
in no time.

We have been driving around
for hours.

I think you are lost.

Ah, look at us.

Bickering like
an old married couple.

Look out for that rock!

Look out for that tree!

Look out for BloFudd!

There's nowhere to go.

(BOAT SCREECHES)

Ha. I told you
I could find him.

You were supposed to get us
out of the swamp,

not deliver us to the bad guy!

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

We need to get out of here.

- I am tired of running.
-(ENGINE WHIRRING)

(SCREAMING) Le Pew,
what are you doing?

I do not know.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

Whoa, wait, he's serious.

(LAUGHING) You'll never catch
Elmer BloFudd.

(YELLS)

- ELMER: Whoa!
-(GASPS)

I'll be back, you'll see!
(LAUGHING)

Well, he's really
going out with a "fang."

Uh, not to be
a know-it-all Nellie

but anacondas
don't have fangs.

-(SLURPS)
- This isn't
an educational show.

(SCOFFS) You got
that right, sister.

Well, now that we got
the bad guy,

we can continue
with our little
romp in the swamp.

Hmm.

(GRUNTS)

Or... (SIGHS)
I can just lie here.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)