03x18 - Model T. Fudd/Victory Clasp

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

ELMER: (OVER PA) Attention,
JPD Motors employees.

Due to increased demand
for our cars,

we must increase
productivity 50%.

Good news, employees.
Demand went up
another 100%. (LAUGHS)

Two hundred percent.

Three hundred percent.
Five hundred percent.

Ten thousand percent!

(SCREAMS)

Why is
the assembly line stopped?

I'll tell you
why it's stopped.

It's impossible to keep up.

I don't have time to listen to
pathetic excuses from the
worst employee I have.

"Worst employee"?
I'm your only employee.

(ECHOING)
Only employee.

Well, if you can't keep up,
then you're fired.

You can't fire me
'cause I quit.

You can't quit
because you are fired.

- Quit!
- Fired!

- Quit!
- Fired!

BUGS: Fired!
ELMER: Quit!

- Fired!
- Quit!

- Fired!
- I quit!

And there's nothing
you can say
to change my mind.

Well, I respect your decision,
and we're sorry to see you go.

Me, too. I've had
a good run here.

Well, in honor of
all your years
of dedicated employment,

we'd like to present you
with this gold watch.

Oh, my. How thoughtful of you.

You know, I'd just like to say
it's been a great 30 years
with the company and I--

Wait a minute.

I'm not quitting.

All right, rabbit,
I'm gonna work you so hard,

you'll be begging for...
Mercy. Ooh!

Oh! (SCREAMS)

Approved.

Approved. Hmm...

This one looks
a little "Fuddy."

Better run it through
a battery of tests
to make sure it's roadworthy.

First, let's try
the wind test.

-(WING HOWLING)
-(GRUNTS)

Now, the water test.

Huh?

(SPLUTTERING)

BUGS: Next,
the snow and ice test.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Oh...

BUGS: Let's try
the off-road test.

(WHIMPERING)

Phew.

(GROANS)

BUGS: Okay, let's do
the city driving test.

-(HORNS HONKING)
- Pick a lane, numb crud.

You drive like
my grandmother's
water aerobics instructor.

(COUGHING)

BUGS: Okay, crash test.

-(TIRES SCREECHING)
-(SCREAMING)

Good news! The dummy's okay,
and so is the one on his back.

(GROANS)

Oh, when I find
that rabbit, I'm gonna--

Good! Get out
of my parking spot!

Mr. Dupree!

That's right.
It's me, J.P. Dupree,

automobile tycoon
and owner of JPD Motors.

That means I'm your boss.

Chief, sensei,
master and commander.

When I say, "Sneeze,"
you say, "How much snot?"

- Got it?
- Yes, sir, anything you need.

Good. Well, for starters,
I need the paper, coffee,
a cheese danish,

a shoeshine, a back rub,
a lullaby, stat!

♪ Lullaby, lullaby

♪ Sweet Mr. Dupree

♪ Please don't fire me

♪ I really need this job ♪

Oh, rub harder, baby hands.

Fantastic!

Now, let's see my big,
beautiful, four-wheeled
babies.

Right away, sir.

Our top-of-the-line model
fresh from the factory.

You call that a car?

Why, it looks like
someone slapped tires
on a kitty-litter box!

This is JPD Motors.

We make cars!
Big, beautiful cars!

Now, go make me a real car!

(STAMMERING) Yes, sir.

Give me bigger tires,
bigger engine,
bigger hood ornament.

I wanna be able to
see this baby
from outer space!

Mmm.

I hate it.
It's gotta be smaller.

Smaller doors,
smaller windows,
smaller everything!

I want that car so small
I could fit it in my pocket.

-(HORN HONKING)
- What is this behemoth?

I said smaller!

Still too big.
Show me something
I haven't seen before!

Give me more wheels.

Less wheels.
More traditional.

More progression.
More rage. More cute.
More baroque.

More oblong.
More chartreuse!

(GROANS) Oh...

Lying down
on the job, huh?

There's no breaks
at JPD Motors.

We work 24 hours a day,
seven days a week,

thirty-one million
five hundred
thirty-six seconds a year.

You got me?

Wait a minute.

You're not Mr. Dupree.

You're that rabbit.
Well, guess what, rabbit?

You and I
are going for a ride.

And it's going to be
a riveting experience.

(STUTTERS) Okay, big guy.
Easy there.

(CACKLING)

Ooh! Ow! Ooh!

(MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, no. This is bad.

Stop it, stop it.
Work faster, baby hands.

(GRUNTS)

You know, when you open
a car factory, you should
always have a spare.

(GRUNTING)

All right, Squeaks! Victory!

Whoo-hoo!

- What are you doing?
- What do you mean,
what am I doing?

I'm doing the victory clasp.

I've never heard
about the clasp.

You've never heard
of the victory clasp?

Well, let me show you
how to do it.

♪ Just put your hands
together

♪ And shake 'em
to the right three times

♪ One, two, three
Keep your hands together

♪ And shake 'em
to the left three times

♪ One, two, three
Stomp your feet three times

♪ One, two, three
Shake your butt three times

♪ One, two, three

♪ Just put your hands
together

♪ And shake 'em
to the right three times

♪ One, two, three
Keep your hands together

♪ And shake 'em
to the left three times

♪ One, two, three
Stomp your feet three times

♪ One, two, three
Shake your butt three times

♪ One, two, three ♪

Now all we have to do
is teach them.

- Who?
- Them.

Come on kids,
get on your feet.

Learn the victory clasp.

♪ Have you ever wondered
how to celebrate
after accomplishing a task?

♪ Well, wonder no more
'cause we're gonna teach you

♪ A dance called
the victory clasp

♪ Just put your hands
together

♪ And shake 'em
to the right three times

♪ One, two, three
♪ Keep your hands together

♪ And shake 'em
to the left three times

♪ One, two, three
♪ Stomp your feet three times

♪ One, two, three
♪ Shake your butt three times

♪ One, two, three

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Right, two, three

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Left, two, three

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Stomp, two, three

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Butt, two, three ♪

ALL: Yeah!

Three... (GRUNTS)
Four...

Hey, there, Foghorn.

Ten. I say,
I say ten push-ups.
Phew.

What a workout.

Ten push-ups?
That's your workout?

What do you mean?
That's my personal best.

Oh, well, congratulations.

You deserve to do
the victory clasp.

♪ There's always a time
for a victory clasp

♪ The occasion
can be big or small

♪ You can do it after reaching
your personal best

♪ Or when you find
a parking spot at the mall

♪ Just put your hands
together

♪ Strut to the right
three times

♪ One, two, three
♪ Keep your hands together

♪ And strut to the left
three times

♪ One, two, three
♪Kick and scratch
on the ground

♪ One, two, three
Shake your tail feathers round

♪ One, two, three

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Strut, two, three

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Scratch, two, three

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Tail, two, three

ALL: Yeah!

♪ The victory clasp
is a versatile dance

♪ Its positivity
is contagious

♪ Just put your hands together
and shake 'em around

♪ It's usually
quite outrageous

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Strut, two, three

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Scratch, two, three

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Tail, two, three

♪ I didn't think
I could do it

♪ I have no victories
to celebrate

♪ In every cartoon
I appear in

♪ I get beat up
in a different way

♪ When you get
beat to smithereens
♪ Do the victory clasp

♪ When you peel a tangerine
♪ Do the victory clasp

♪ When you stay
home sick from school
♪ Do the victory clasp

♪ When I say
"Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!"
♪ Do the victory clasp

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Beat to smithereens

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Peel a tangerine

♪ Victory clasp
♪Home from school

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo,
whoo-hoo!

ALL: Yeah!

♪ I'm very competitive
It's just who I am

♪ I can never
turn down a race

♪ But I'm always worried
I might not win

♪ 'Cause I move
at such a slow pace

♪ When you move
at a slow pace
♪ Do the victory clasp

♪ When you still
come in first place
♪ Do the victory clasp

♪ When you floss your teeth
♪ Do the victory clasp

♪ When you eat roast beef
♪ Do the victory clasp

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Get first place

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Going to outer space

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Floss your teeth

♪ Victory clasp
♪Eat roast beef

ALL: Yeah!

All right, guys, new moves.

Put your hands on your elbows
and shake 'em up and down

while you put your tongue
on the tip of your nose,

and then do a double
and a half twist
with your torso,

and grab your left ankle
with your right hand,

and then do
a full backwards roll
into a full nelson,

but keep those eyes closed
and breathe in deep

while shimmying back
into the starting position,

and then do it
three times more fast.

Yeah...

Thanks for the suggestion.

♪ Now, some say
it's too much

♪ To shake and dance
in celebration

♪ But don't be shy
Just get on board

♪ Because the victory clasp
is sweeping the nation

-♪ They do it in Texas
- Howdy, victory clasp.

-♪ Californ-I-A
- Victory clasp, brah.

-♪ They do it in New York
- I'm victory clasping here.

-♪ They do it in Green Bay
- Ooh! Hey, there,
victory clasp.

-♪ They do it in Paris
-Bonjour, victory clasp.

-♪ They do it in Taipei
- Why me, victory clasp.

-♪ They do it in London
- Well played, victory clasp.

-♪ Even in the Milky Way
- Bleep-blurp, victory clasp.

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Strut, two, three

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Scratch, two, three

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Tail, two, three

- ALL: Yeah!
- Enough!

I am tired of doing
the victory clasp.

♪ When you're tired
of this dance
♪ Do the victory clasp

♪ When you're watering
your plants
♪ Do the victory clasp

♪ When you climb a tree
♪ Do the victory clasp

♪ When you win
the spelling bee
♪ Do the victory clasp

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Scream and shout

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Dance it out

♪ Victory clasp
♪ So much fun

♪ Victory clasp
♪ Now we're done ♪

ALL: Victory clasp!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)