03x23 - Daffy Crackpot/Fashion Viktor

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(WHISTLING)

(STOPS WHISTLING)

(CLEARS THROAT)

Oh, hello, stranger.
(STUTTERING)
I'm Porky.

(STUTTERING)
And this is
my homestead.

Well,
I'm Renegade Sam.

I'm a nasty varmint.

Me and my g*ng
are going to take over
this entire frontier,

and open up
a giant mini-mall.

(PORKY YELPS)

Adios, amigo!

(PORKY SCREAMS)

Now, I think that that there
is a good spot for
the frozen yogurt stand.

(PORKY WAILS)

(WITH A LISP)
Hey! You nearly landed
in my marshmallows.

(CONTINUES TO STUTTER)
Thankfully I landed on
these jagged rocks instead.

(CONTINUES TO LISP) Hey,
why are you flying through
the frontiers, anyway?

Well, I was just minding
my own business when
Renegade Sam just came up

and kicked me off
my homestead.

Renegade Sam?
That guy's
a nasty varmint.

Yeah, that's what
he said.

Now I got to try to
get my land back.

You? You're just
a simple homesteader.

You need a frontiersman.
Someone who is
tough and strong,

and knows the woods like
the back of his hand.

You're right.
I'd better go
find one.

- Hey... Whoa!
-(CLATTERING)

No! You've already
found one.

I'm Daffy Crackpot!

(PLAYS A NOTE)

♪ Ooooo ♪

(BLUEGRASS MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ Born on
A welcome mat
In Illinois ♪

♪ Muddiest state
Full of girls and boys ♪

♪ Lucky his mama
Didn't name him Roy ♪

♪ Grooming a bear's
His greatest joy. ♪

♪ Daffy!
Daffy Crackpot! ♪

♪ Flower of
The great outdoors! ♪

Mr. Crackpot,
I don't need
a singer.

I need a frontiersman.

I am a frontiersman.

I'll prove it.

Everyone knows

a great frontiersman
is a sharp sh**ting ace.

With my
marshmallow sh**ter,

I can do all kinds
of trick shots.

Look, I really have
to get...

You see those
random objects
over there?

I am going to
fire a marshmallow.

It will ricochet
off each one
of those objects.

And I'll catch it
in my teeth.

Ready, aim, fire!

(GULPS AND CHOKES)

(COUGHS)

(CHOKES)

See?

Thanks for the show,
Mr. Crackpot.

But I have to go find
a real frontiersman...

I'm not done yet!
See that bear
over there?

DAFFY: I'll subdue it,
single-handed.

Uh, how are you
going to do that?

I'm going to
groom it into
submission.

You're going to
groom it?

(CONFIDENTLY)
Oh, yeah.

Frontiersman 101, baby.

Hey, bear.

(BEAR GRUNTS AND GROWLS)

Let's get you
presentable.

(BEAR SPLUTTERS)

(BEAR GROWLS)

(DAFFY WHOOPS)

Just because you're a bear
doesn't mean you have to
look grizzly.

So, you want
to do this
the hard way, eh?

(SURPRISED GRUNT)

Let's get inside
those incisors,

and behind
those bicuspids.

(CONFUSED YELP)

See? This bear
is so groomed.

Bokay?

(SCREAMS)

(MUFFLED)
Oh, let me out!

Well, its getting late,
and I'm sure the other
frontiersmen

are probably
taken by now.

All right,
Mr. Crackpot.

(DAFFY SCREAMS)

- Can you help me fight Sam?
- Now you're talking!

To the homestead!

(THUD)

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYS)

Hey, we're back
at my house.

But I don't see
Sam anywhere.

Perfect! We'll set
a trap for him.

What are you doing?

When Sam gets back,
he'll think this
package is for him.

DAFFY: This will be the gift
that keeps on giving

DAFFY: punches to
his face. Ha!

PORKY: Uh, did you poke
some air holes in this box?

DAFFY:
Air holes. Huh.

(DAFFY SCREAMING)
Help, help me!
I'm trapped in a box!

DAFFY: Please help, anybody!

(SIGHS)
Anybody but you guys.

I, uh... Huh?

(GRUNTING)

SAM: Hey, pig.

I thought I already
kicked you off
of my land.

You stole it
from him!

Yeah? And who
in tarnation
are you?

I'm Daffy Crackpot.

- Never heard of you.
- Really?

Did you ever
hear of a song...

♪ Born on
A welcome mat
In Illinois ♪

♪ Muddiest state... ♪

I hate it! That ditty
done sticks in you brain
like a tick on a sow!

Now, I'm sorry, fellas,

but you're standing
in the way of progress.

I can see it all now.

A nail salon next to
a karate dojo.

(PANTING)

Kiosks with
personal massagers
and cell phone cases.

(GRUNTS)

And coffee shops as far
as the eye can see.

(GRUNTS AND SCREAMS)

(HEROIC MUSIC PLAYS)

Eat marshmallows, piggy!

(LAUGHS)
D'oh!

No more mini mall!

(g*n CLICKS)

(REDEMPTIVE MUSIC PLAYS)

(SAM YELPS)

That all you got?

(YELPS AND MOANS)

We did it!
We defeated
Renegade Sam!

What a hero
I am!

♪ Ooooo ♪

♪ Born in
The deep woods
Arkansas ♪

♪ Greatest frontiersman
You ever saw ♪

♪ Always a pally
To the gents
One and all ♪

♪ When you're in trouble
Just give him a call ♪

♪ Porky! Porky Pig! ♪

-♪ The gre... ♪
-(STUTTERS)

Ah, you know the rest.

VIKTOR: Style!

Image!

Couture!

Victor Fashion.

It is I, Viktor.
Fashion icon
and male model.

Today, I will unveil
my new clothing line.

Skin stuff!
Shiny stuff!

And poompy, furry,
cuddly stuff!

(DRAMATICALLY)
Viktor Fashion!

- Wow.
- Amazing.

Tres chic.

My entire new clothing line is
inspired by all things nature.

The water.
The land.

Even the little
woodland creatures
were my influences.

There's my mailbox!

In fact,
this stole is made
from real rabbit fur.

Take a look, see.

(TEETH CHATTERING)

(BREATHILY)
Fashion!

BUGS: Hey, buddy!

As if it weren't
bad enough you
kidnapped my mailbox,

you stole the fur
right off the backs
of those rabbits!

That doesn't
belong to you.

All things fashion
belong to Viktor.

Now, get away
from the stage

before I make matching
culottes with your fur,
little bunny.

(BUGS GROANS)

Viktor just made
a fashion faux pas.

So I'm going
to make sure

he goes
out of style.

VIKTOR: Don't run away.
We'll be right back.

Welcome back.
Now, you gaze
upon my handsome.

(GERMAN ACCENT) Guten tag.
I am here for
the fashion sh**t.

Where is the model?

I'm right here!

You? Oh, I guess they'll
let anyone be a male model
these days.

I am Viktor!
The greatest male
model of all time!

I can do any pose
in the world!

Fine.
Turn around.

-(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
- Work it,
work it, work it.

Now do
a back bend.

Back bend,
back bend,

Back, back, back.
Work it.

Give me
a Norwegian pretzel.

I said,
"Norwegian pretzel."

BUGS: Work it!
Now get in
this garbage can.

BUGS: Work it,
work it,
work it!

Now, hold this
stick of dynamite.

BUGS: Work it!
Work it!

Work it, work it, work it!

Work it, work it, work...

He really worked it!

VIKTOR: We'll be back
in a flash!

Okey dokey!

It's time for Viktor
to reveal his new
clothing line!

You call this fashion?
I'm not feeling it.

What? What are
you not feeling?

(COUTURE ACCENT)
When I see this,
I don't think, "Nature".

Why just be inspired
by the forest?

I mean, why not
actually use it?

Viktor can design
fashion out of anything.

Well, then.
Your challenge

is to design
a stunning outfit

using these materials
found in nature.

You have 10 seconds.
Make it happen.

Ten seconds?

Now, you have 9.

(GASPS)

(GRUNTS)

Five seconds.

(WAILS)

You can do it, Viktor!
You're the best designer!

(MOANING)

Time's up!

I did it!
Viktor wins!

I'm underwhelmed.

Underwhelmed?

It's fashion!
It works!

And I used
your materials!

Hmm. Well,
interesting choice,

using poison ivy
for the pants.

What? (GASPS)

Oh, and I do love
the coloring of
this shirt.

The reddish hue
of fire ants
is fierce.

(GASPS)
Fire ants?

Bonus points
for accenting
the outfit

with this black
beaded necklace
made of leeches.

(HIGHPITCHED)
Leeches?

-(GULPS)
- That hat is to die for.

But I always was
a sucker for
a live badger.

(BADGER GROWLS)

(VIKTOR SCREAMS)

You know what?
You've convinced me.

You made it happen.

You won the challenge.

VIKTOR: Stay in style,
don't change that dial.

(GRUNTS)

Next on the show,

Huh?

That's it, bunny.

No more Mr. Nice Viktor.

I challenge you
to a fashion walk-off.

Fine. Winner gets
the rabbit fur.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS)

Hey, next tushy pushy
into a style smile.

Not a problem.

(IN GERMAN ACCENT)
is it just me, or did he do
that move better last year?

You're right.

That was so
last season, Viktor.

Huh?

I serve fin shinny
with a cross that flip

in a french couper
trooper twist.

Easy-peasy.

It looked like
he took a step backward.

Viktor, you're
supposed to be
fashion-forward.

(GASPS)

I can do the knee knock
knockenspiel with
the banana blanket blast.

Watch.

Shuffle, shuffle.

(GROANS)

(SADLY) Love me.

Yeesh! This guy
is terrible!

Hey, Viktor!
You're a sweaty cow!

You're the
greatest model ever.

You're the best, Bugs.

We love you!

What a nice
group of guys.

No, that's not true!

I am a Fish...

- Heidi Klum!
-(CRASHES)

VIKTOR: Help me!

Here you are, fellas.

(HAPPY YELP)

You look great, guys.

Viktor was nice,

I just wasn't all
that impressed by
his fall collection.

MEN: We love you, Bugs!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)