02x05 - Love Is in the Hare/Valentine's Dayffy

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[GASPS]

Come out, come out
wherever you are.

Oh, where'd you go, honey?

You can run,
but you can't hide.
[LAUGHS]

Phew!

Now to slip away unnoticed.

[GRUNTS] Huh?
[EXCLAIMS]

Say, what are you doing here
on my property, rabbit?

There's no trespassing.
Didn't you see the signs?

[BUZZING]

Gosh! I must have missed them.

Listen, Doc, can I stay
for just a minute?

No, you can't stay.
I live up here alone,
understand?

Now, you got three seconds
to get off of my property

before I blow you
to smithereens.

One, two...

Hey, Doc, you're
counting too fast.

You gotta put
a "Mississippi" in there.

You know? One Mississippi,
two Mississippi. Get it?

Oh, all right.
One Mississippi,
two Mississippi...

You know what?
That's still too fast.

Try "Rutherford B. Hayes."

Fine! One Rutherford B...

Now that blew up in your face.

[GROANS]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[IN GERMAN ACCENT]
You need a haircut, mein Herr.

Have a seat.
What will it be, mein Freund?

I think I'd like to leave.

You may know what you want
but I know what you need.

First, the shampoo.

Oh, don't get yourself
into a lather schnitzel.

[WHIRRING]

Now for the blow-dry.

Now for the product.

The texture cream,
the holding cream.

The I scream,
you scream, we all
scream for ice cream.

- What do you think?
-[GROANS]

[GROWLS] I hates it.

-[EXCLAIMS]
-[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

[PANTING]

[NORMAL VOICE] Hey, there.
Welcome to Toss Fit.

The more you toss,
the more fit you'll be.

- Now toss this rock
down the hill.
-[GRUNTING]

- Good.
Now sprint to the bottom.
-[BREATHING HARD]

Now push it back
up to the top. That's it.

Now toss it back down again.

-[GRUNTS]
- Sprint after it.
Stay in rhythm.

Push, toss, sprint!

Push, toss, sprint!

Don't slow down now.

Go! Go! Go!

I'm feeling a little sick.

The sicker you feel,
the fitter you'll be.

That doesn't make any sense.

- You getting out of shape
doesn't make any sense.
-[GROANS]

Now toss this car.

[GRUNTING]

- Now toss this whale.
-[GRUNTS]

Now toss this other whale.

You got two whales?

-[GRUNTS]
- Now toss this battleship.

[GRUNTING]

- Great set, Sam. Take five.
- Phew!

Ooh, I'll tan your hide!

This stuff is stickier
than molasses on a cat...
[EXCLAIMS]

Oh, good.
The wax is set.

Now we can get rid
of all that nasty chest hair.

[YELLS IN PAIN]

Oh, your cuticles
are not cute at all.

This man needs a manicure.

So get this. I saw Suzy
at the supermarket
in sweatpants.

- She has really given up.
Don't you agree?
-[GROANS]

Did I mention that Suzy only
eats the strawberry out of
the Neapolitan ice cream?

Let me finish the story.

I guess someone thinks
they're too good for
chocolate and vanilla.

But then I ran
into Jess at checkout.

And she heard from Brigitte,
who told Erica, who told
Denise, who told Lexie,

who told Chelsea,
who told Jamie-Ann,

who told Ashley
that Nicole might be
breaking up with Brian.

Of course, if Brian's
on the market, I'm interested.

So, what do you think?

-[GROANS]
- Oh, honey, you really
need to moisturize.

First, you have
to stretch it out.

Then we have to open up
the pores by applying
this mud mask.

Then we use a fish peel
to exfoliate the dead skin.

♪ Mama's little baby
loves mackerel, mackerel

♪ Mama's little baby
loves mackerel face ♪

My, you're perfect!

Let me call Bruce.

Oh, Bruce!

OMG! What on earth
are you wearing?

[GASPS] Just because something
is comfortable doesn't mean
you should wear it.

Let's get you into
something better, stat.

[BABBLING]

- I don't even know
what that is.
- I kind of like it.

Um, no, you don't.

[BABBLING]

Hmm, too legit.

Too legit to quit.

[BABBLING]

It's fabulous. Oh, I love it!

[GIGGLES]

Hey! You're the rabbit!

Ooh!

Get back here!

Hold it!

Drop the oar.

Finally got ya
right where I want ya.

I'm a gonna fill ya
full of buckshot.

Hey, where you think
you're going?
Get back here!

Oh!

-[WOMAN SOBBING]
-[SAM YELLING]

[GRUNTS AND GROANS]

A man!

Dearly beloved
gathered here today.

Monumental ceremony.
Ring is a symbol,
ya-da-ya-da-ya-da.

- Do you take this man
to be your husband?
- I do!

-[WHISPERING] Do you wish
you were someplace else?
- I do.

- He said, "I do."
I heard him.
- Huh?

You're man and wife.
Now kiss!

[SQUEALS]

Whoa!

-[SAM GRUNTS]
- I can't wait to get
you home, pumpkin.

SAM: No!

Wow! Those two really
fell head over heels
for each other.

[LAUGHING]

[LISPING] Valentine's Day!

My favorite day
of the year.

I love spreading love
and laughing

and laughing and spreading
love and laughing some more.

[LAUGHING]

Ooh, here's an
opportunity now.

[BOTH GROAN]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

- Whoa!
- Double whoa!

[LAUGHING]

I'm Cupid.

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo! Sheesh!

Everyone falls
for Valentine's Day.

But not me.

Still haven't found a fowl
for this fella.

- Whoo-hoo!
-[LAUGHING]

[BOTH GROAN]

[EXCLAIMS]

A giant baby!

You okay, giant baby?

- Must spread love.
- Sheesh! You're a mess!

Can't go on.

- You need to take my place.
- Take your place?

Where do you live?
If it's got a pool, I'm in.

No, take these arrows.

Whomever you hit with
these will fall in love with
the first person they see.

Go. Be Cupid.

[GROANS]

Don't worry, giant baby.

I'm gonna spread love
like butter on toast!

Whoo-hoo!

Wait a minute!

What did the giant baby
say? Whatever I hit,
they fall in love?

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

[LAUGHS]

Oh, brother! I'm not
really gonna do this.

[GASPS] Ooh!

Who is that?

Now there is one fine
flying female. Whoo-hoo!

Excuse me, squab.

Birds of a feather
flock together.
Am I right?

How's about coming
back to my nest, huh?

-[GROWLS TEMPTINGLY]
-[QUACKS]

This little quacker is gonna
need a bit more swooning.
Whoo-hoo!

Don't leave me
hanging, sweetie.

Although you could,
'cause you are the wind
beneath my wings.

[QUACKS]

Oh, come on, there's
got to be an easier way.

Wait a minute.

Ah-ha! There is!

[SLURPING] Ah!

[VOCALIZING]

If you thought I
was in love before,

wait till you get
a load of me now!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Gotcha!

This is one catch
I'm never throwing back.

Huh. Playing hard to get, huh?

I need to approach this
in a more roundabout way.

Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo!

Healthcare for all!

No more taxes!

[BOTH MOANING]

We're each other's
running mates.

Emphasis on "mates."

Hey!

My arrows.

Ow! [GASPS]

Missed her by that much.

What is happening?

[VOCALIZING]

You! You messed up everything!

Hey! Baby's up
from his nap.

[VOCALIZING]

Ooh!

What are you doing?

You were supposed
to spread love, not
make people crazy.

What's the difference?
Whoo-hoo!

I was just trying
to get that duck to
fall in love with me.

But she's playing hard to get.

[QUACKS] Hmm!

Ooh, you made a
mess of everything!

Don't you think
you're being a bit rash?

And I'm not talking
about your diaper.

Give me my arrow.
You're doing it all wrong.

You need to take
careful aim, like this. See?

Bulls...

[VOCALIZING]

...eye?

[VOCALIZING]

Uh-oh! Something
tells me I'm in trouble.

[WHISTLING]

-[VOCALIZING]
- Hello, lady.

[WHISTLING]

No! Control yourself, please!

That's her type?
A giant baby?

Better him than me.
Whoo-hoo!

-[CROWD MURMURING]
- Oh, may I help you?

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] Whoa!

ALL: [CHANTING]
Must kiss duck.
Must kiss duck.

- Must kiss duck.
- This may not end well.

Come on, guys!
You don't want me.

- You're smothering me!
-[KISSING]

[STRAINING]

Love is for the birds.

Good thing I am one. Whoo-hoo!