02x10 - Best Bugs/Lewis and Pork

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

I can't believe you roped me
into helping you babysit

your nieces and nephews
'til 4:00.

-[CHOMPS]
-[GRUNTS] That's it!

I gotta get some fresh air.

Sheesh. One more second
in there and I was gonna go...

Bonkers? [YELPS]

[TOYS CLATTERING]

[GROANS] I'm so bored.

[CRASHES]

Finally, my best
friend is here.

Doesn't look like much.

Hey, pal,
you can't just take
someone as your hostage

and expect them
to be your best friend.

- On the contrary, I can.
-[BEEPS]

[SLAMMING]

SECURITY: Premises are secure.

Wow. Hey, best friend.
Love your room.

Super cool. [STRAINING]

I can't tell you how long
I've been looking
forward to this.

[THUMPS]

[WEAKLY] I'm good.

All right, tell you what.

I'll be the best friend you've
always wanted until 4:00.

You'll do everything I say?

Everything. 'Til four.

It's 1:00 now,
that gives us three hours.

Okay. Deal.

Go.

Go... What?

Ugh, you're exhausting!

Entertain me.

- A best friend doesn't...
- Entertain me.

Look, I need music,
a stage, a spot...

Light.

[WHISPERS] Entertain me.

♪ I'm gonna lay down
my heavy load, yeah

♪ Down by the river side, yeah

-♪ Down by the river ♪
- Wait. Wait, wait a minute.

-[MUSIC STOPS]
- Yeah?

Lame.

[FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING]

Too 80's.

-[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
- Parkour. Parkour. Parkour.

[THUMPS]

Maybe you should
take an improv class.

You know, when you're
friends with someone,
you connect with each other.

- Fine. Let's play tag.
- Great.

-[SLAPS]
- Tag. You're it.

-[MUTTERS] Fine.
- No tag backs.

Let's play some baseball.
America's pastime.

I'm ready. Throw me the ball.

Okay, kid, here comes
the old pepper.

- Right down the old alleyway.
-[SMASHES]

Bad throw.

You didn't even
move your mitt.

You gotta work
with me here, kid.

Here comes the high heat!

-[SMASHES]
- Bad throw again.

For this to work,
you have to at least
try to catch the ball.

- You make me catch it.
-[SIGHS]

This spoiled,
good for nothing...

All right, kid, here comes
the spicy mustard!

-[ZOOMS]
-[THUDS]

Great catch. By me.

Now make me throw it back.

All right.

Okay! Here's a little
ball on that pepper.

Right down
the mustard hallway.

You're saying it wrong.

You say it right for me, then.

You know what? Forget it.
It's fine.

-[ZOOMS]
- Nice throw.

-[ZOOMS]
- Nice catch.

-[ZOOMS]
- Nice throw. Nice catch.

Nice throw. Nice catch.

Nice throw. Nice catch.

Nice throw. Nice catch.
Nice throw. Nice catch.

Stop, stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop.

I feel like
you're just phoning it in.

Look, pal,
playing requires two people.

Forget it. I'm tired.

- I don't want to play anymore.
-[THUMPS]

Put this away.

[MUTTERING]
Gotta be kidding me.

The kid can't even
pick up his own toys.

Well, the good thing
about baseball

is that it always
eats up a lot of time...

[GROANS] 1:05!

How is that even possible?

I'm hungry.
Make me some mac and cheese.

Fine.

Here you go, kid.

-[SPLATS]
- Too cheesy.

[GROANS]

[GRUNTING]

How about now?

- Too mac-y.
-[BOWL CLATTERS]

- Too yellow.
-[BOWL CLATTERS]

- Too bland.
-[BOWL CLATTERS]

- Too al dente.
-[BOWL CLATTERS]

- Okay, mister.
-[MURMURING]

I'm going to make
you the greatest mac
and cheese ever.

[SHOUTING] And you're
gonna love it.

[CACKLES]

Oh, my...

It's immaculate in cheese.

Okay, kid.

Get ready to bow down
in humble adoration.

-[CRASHES]
- I'm not hungry anymore.

I slaved over that culinary
creation for over an hour!

More like
two minutes, actually.

BOY: We still get
to play for hours.

What is going on around here?

How is it even possible

that we've been doing
all these activities together

and that clock that's
right next to you...

Oh.

Okay.

I'm off to find something
else for us to do

with my back
completely turned.

Walking out of the room.

Yes, out of the room.
Not turning back.

Not doing it.

- A-ha!
-[CLATTERING]

You keep moving
the clock back!

I did everything you asked.

I entertained you.
I made mac and cheese.

I played ball with you.

And you cheated. That's not
what friends do to each other.

[MUFFLED] I'm sorry.

I just wanted someone
to play with me.

What'd you say?

I just wanted a friend.

- Someone I could hang around.
-[KEYPAD BEEPING]

You can go now.

Don't feel bad, kid.
I got an idea.

You know, babysitting
is actually pretty fun
after all.

-[CHITTERING]
-[GIGGLING]

BOY: They're biting me!

NARRATOR: America, 1805.

President Elmer Fudd had only
been in office a few months

before he realized
he had a problem.

Porky, I realized
I have a problem.

Well, Mr. President,
I'm ready to help out

[STAMMERING] in any way
I... I can... I'm able.

We used to have a map
of our entire country.

But I was eating lunch

and spilled marinara sauce
all over it.

And now it's ruined.

Therefore, I need
you to venture forth

and look for the ocean.

This is a very
dangerous mission.

And only the bravest,

the most rugged frontiersman
can handle the task.

- Are you that explorer?
-[SQUEAKS]

[STAMMERING] You...
You... You be...

Did somebody say, "Explorer"?

Whoo-hoo!

Allow me to introduce myself.

Daffy Duck. World famous
explorer at your service.

Oh, thank goodness.

I thought it was just
gonna be the pig.

The two of you can partner up

and find the Northwest
Passage together.

Hold on there, Mount Baldie.

I work alone, catch my drift?

Sorry, Mr. Duck,
but I need you

to take an official
government representative.

And Porky here is official?

How did you know my name?

"Porky" is your name?

Listen, buster.
Just stay out of my way.

You might just well
learn something.

Let the exploring begin!

Um, excuse me, chum.

Could you point me
to the exit?

The fate of the United
States of America

is in the hands
of those two nincompoops?

NARRATOR: And so,
the nincompoops

begin their journey
across the rocky terrain.

Pick up the pace, boys.

- We've got exploring to do!
-[CRASHES]

Some knucklehead
put a mountain here.

Why don't we
take that shortcut?

Oh, sure. Great idea.

-[CRASHING]
- For a Yankee.

Come on. Greatness awaits!

I always wanted
to climb a precipice.

Huzzah!

Hey, what's the hold up?

[STRAINING]

[GROANS]

Okay. One quick boost,
pork rind.

How's that for teamwork,
pork chop?

What about the mule?

Right.

-[WIND BLOWING]
-[SHOUTS]

-[PORKY GRUNTING]
- What the...

[WOOSHING]

Hey!

-[SIGHS]
- Now don't move.

-[PORKY GRUNTING]
- Oh, for Pete's sake.

-[GRUNTING]
- Fine. I get it.

[DAFFY HUFFING]

[SIGHS] Well,
it's all downhill from here.

Nuts.

[GASPING]

I told you we should
have taken the shortcut.

Well, Pigahontas,

how we gonna get across this

treacherous section
of the river?

I'm not going to cross it.
I'm going around it.

A real explorer doesn't
go around.

He forges across.

-[CRASHING]
-[SCREAMS]

[WHIMPERS]

Uh, I guess I'll
gently wade to shore.

- Stop panicking.
-[SLAPPING]

- I'll save you.
-[SLAPPING CONTINUES]

You're going to make it.

[STAMMERING] Our mule!

[EXHALES]

A real explorer doesn't need
supplies or a mule.

All he needs is fire.

And, fortunately,
I know how to make one.

Watch and learn.

-[CLACKING]
- Uh... But, Mr. Duck...

Zip it, ham slice!
I need to concentrate.

[STRAINING]

[PANTING]

[SIGHING]

It's getting so dark
I can barely see.

[MUTTERING]

[EXCLAIMS] The pig is right!

We have no mule,
no food, no supplies.

The light.
I'm going towards the light.

I'm going towards the...
You started a campfire?

I tried to tell you
I had some extra matches.

I have to be honest, Mr. Duck,

I don't think
you're a very good explorer.

Tell me how you really feel.

I am!
You're not a good explorer.

If you've got something to say
just say it to my face.

[SHOUTING] You're not
a good explorer!

So what are you trying
to imply here?

[EXCLAIMS] From now on,
you go your way and I go mine.

- Fine.
- Fine.

[BOTH MUTTERING]

Hey! You're exploring
my way, bub.

- No, you're exploring...
-[BOTH SCREAMING]

Ha! I discovered this nest.

-[SHRIEKING]
- I discovered this eagle.

-[BOTH SHOUTING]
- I discovered this bear.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Look at her.

She's gorgeous.

[STAMMERING] What a body...

Of water.

We did it! We actually did it.

You're too late, gentlemen.

He already forged a direct
route to the west.

- BOTH: The pack mule?
- That's right.

In fact, we're gonna name
the ocean after him.

NARRATOR: We owe
a great thanks

for our beloved
waters of the west

to the greatest frontiersmen
who ever lived.

Me. Pacifico the mule.