02x16 - A Duck in the Aquarium/The Breezehammer

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[STAMMERS] Here you go, Peter.

[STUTTERS] Penelope.

Nice catch, Persimmon.

-[STUTTERING]
-[SHOUTS] Hey!

- Yes, boss.
- I want to give you
fair warning.

The owner of the aquarium
is stopping by later today,

and I need everything
to be perfect.

You got it, boss.
I'm on the job.

That's what I'm worried about.

[GULPS] Mmm... Fresh.

[STUTTERS] Uh,
come on down, Petunia.

Nice work there, Princess.

[STUTTERS] Preston.

Here you go,
[STUTTERS] Paprika.

Hey, garcon, could you put
that next one on
a spring roll with wasabi?

Hey! This isn't
a sushi restaurant,
this is an aquarium.

And you're not a penguin.
[STUTTERS] You're a duck!

Of course, I'm a
[MIMICS STUTTERING]
penguin.

I can waddle around.
I'm black.

I have webbed feet.
I have an orange bill.

I quack. And I can fly.

Half of those
are penguin things,

and the other half
are duck things.

Which half lets me stay here?

For one thing penguins
can't fly.

[STUTTERS]
Just get out of here!

[SCOFFS AND STAMMERS]
Crazy duck.

-[GASPS] Huh?
- You, uh, didn't
answer my question.

Hey! You ate all the fish.

The worst part is
I'm still hungry.

[STUTTERS] Mr. Duck,
you don't understand.

If everything isn't perfect
I'm gonna get fired.

Tell you what, chum,
I'll make you a deal.

You give me
all the fish I can eat,

and I'll make sure
this aquarium is perfect!

[STAMMERING] It's a...

Okay! Let's see what
we have to work with here.

- What do these fish do?
-[STAMMERS] Not much.
They just float around.

They just float around?
That's not perfect,
that's boring!

We got to get them
moving around.

Well, we're gonna
feed 'em in an hour.

An hour? That's too long.

- We got to go feed 'em
right now!
-[SCREAMS]

[IN FRENCH ACCENT]
Gather around. Gather around.

It is I, Duck Cousteau!

This is the ocean.

The life blood of all the fish
that live here,

deep, uncharted dangereux.

Here is the Grouper,

the fascinating Clownfish,

and, of course, the Hogfish!

[BLUBBERING AND STAMMERING]
Get me out of here!

The Hogfish seems
to be disturbed!

It is because
the Hammerhead shark is
stalking him for his prey.

[SCREAMS AND BLUBBERS]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[SCREAMS]

[YELPS]

-[SPLUTTERS AND EXCLAIMS]
-[CHILDREN CRYING]

[IN SCOTTISH ACCENT]
Do not worry, kids.
I'll save ya.

- Keep back, you dangerous
sea creature.
-[GROANS]

[STUTTERS]
I'm not a sea creature.

- I'm a... [STAMMERING]
-[WHISPERING] I know,
but look at them.

They're eating this up!

Don't you want the aquarium
to be perfect?

[IN SCOTTISH ACCENT]
Back from whence you came!

[WHISPERS] You're doing great.

- You salty pork
of the swiney deep!
-[SCREAMING]

[APPLAUDING]

[STUTTERS]
Stop that right now.

Hold your seahorses.
What's this?

It's a touch tank.
It's where people come to
touch the sea creatures.

Well, that doesn't seem fair.

Maybe it's time
for the sea creatures
to touch back!

[GRUNTS]

-[LAUGHING]
-[LAUGHING]

[ALL LAUGHING]

[PANTING] Keep away from me!

DAFFY: Not so fast!

♪ Stomp your feet up and down,
make a smile from that frown

♪ Grab a fish and sing along,
slap, slap, slap, slap

♪ 'Cause it feels mighty fine
when you're slap it on a swine

♪ Grab a fish and sing along,
slap, slap, slap, slap ♪

[GRUNTS AND STUTTERS]
You're not making
this place better,

you're ruining it!

[IN SING-SONG]
But I'm not finished yet!

Oh, yeah.
You're finished all right.

If you're not going to leave
then I'll throw you out!

-[GRUNTS]
- Whoo-hoo. Whoo-hoo!

[STUTTERS] Get back here!

[EXCLAIMS]

[SHOUTS] Ow!

[EXCLAIMING] Ow!

[TEETH CHATTERING]

A gift shop?

The perfect aquarium
gives out souvenirs for free!

You get a shirt
and you get a shirt,
and you get a shirt!

[STAMMERS]
Stop giving everything away!

You get a shirt too!

Huh. I thought
this was one size fits all.

Whoo-hoo. Whoo-hoo. Whoo-hoo!

I'm having a whale of a time!
Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

[SIGHS] Maybe it's time
to start getting the ranch
dressing on the side.

And to start ordering salads.

[FREE FALLING]

Porky! What in the Sam Hill
is going on out here?

[GASPS] Mrs. Allen?

You're not supposed
to be here till 3:00.

[STUTTERS] Mrs. Allen?

Who's Mrs. Allen?

She's the owner of
the aquarium, you numbcrut!

Who is responsible
for this duck being
in the aquarium?

It wasn't me, Mrs. Allen.
It was Porky!

I told him everything had
to be perfect, but...

It was perfect!

The action, the adventure!

The free merchandise
giveaways!

You see this is the integrated
marketing, I'm talking about.

We can cross-pollinate
this across
multiple media platforms.

I see billboards, posters,
a duck in the aquarium.

Ah! Maybe even a reality show!

Porky and the Duck!

We'll film them 24/7,
watching the pig cater
to the duck's every need.

Uh... [STUTTERS] 24/7?

His every need?

Oh, I'm not a pig.
I'm a penguin!

See! [LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
Look at me! I'm a penguin!

I'm a penguin!

Porky! You've lost your mind!

[SHOUTING] I'm a penguin!

Well, that's just silly.

Penguins can't fly.

Finally, after a long winter
the perfect day to fly a kite!

Last summer I perfected
all the expert kite moves.

But this summer
I'm going to master
the most dangerous,

most death-defying stunt
of them all,

the Breezehammer!

-[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
-[LIGHTNING CRACKLING]

Huh?

You mean you never heard of
the most legendary move
in all of kite flying?

Only a select few have ever
seen and lived to tell
the tale of the Breezehammer!

-[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
-[LIGHTNING CRACKLING]

Ooh!

[SQUEAKS] Breezehammer!

[WHINES]

BUGS: Let's warm up
with a few basic moves.

Watch this, Squeaks.
Four eyes!

The Stairs!

The Escalator!

[YAWNING] Caw!

[GASPS] Hello, beautiful!

That's the most gorgeous
creature I've ever seen!

I must be dreaming! [GRUNTS]

Nope. Not dreaming.

[CAWING]

So, uh, you got the time?

'Cause you got me
going cuckoo!

Oh! Aggressive! I like that.

Oh, baby! I'm in love.

- What the...
-[BOYD PURRING]

[CAWING]

That canoodling canary's
getting cozy with my kite!

Playing hard to get, huh?

[EXCLAIMING] Whoa!

[GROANING] Ow!

Oh no, Squeaks! It's stuck!

Can you go see
what's going on?

[SQUEAKS] Hey!

Can I offer you something,
my lady?

A snack? Some worms?
A delousing?

[CHIRPING]

I'm trying, Squeaks.
I'm pulling as hard as I can!

-[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
- Is that a no?

You don't want anything?

Oh, you do. Wait, yes or no?

You're giving me mixed
signals here!

I'm so confused!

Wait! I know!

How about
a relaxing massage? Ow!

Boy, you really are playing
hard to get.

-[GRUNTS]
- Jeepers!

Uh-oh!

That bird is not gonna
stop me from executing
the Breezehammer!

-[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
-[LIGHTNING CRACKLING]

♪ Oh, you're
my beautiful bird!

♪ My beautiful blue bird!

♪ My beautiful big, bald,
blue-y, blueish, blue bird!

-♪ Oh, blue, blue...
- Oh no, you don't!

♪ Blue, blue, blue, blue
bird, bird, bird, bird

♪ Gimme a B, gimme a... ♪
[GRUNTS]

[CAWS] You come at me, bro?

You want a piece of me?

Stay behind me, babe,
I'll protect ya.

[CAWING] Is that all you got?

[CAWS]

Flying back to
your momma, huh?

[GROWLS]

Sorry, you had
to see that, babe.

Just doing what any bird
would do for his lady.

Sometimes I get so mad
I just gotta hit something.

[CAWING]

Babe? Babe?

Hey! Where'd you go?

All right, that's it! I'm not
taking any more chances.

Squeaks, I'm sending you up
to run interference.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no! [GAGS]

Nothing's gonna keep me
from the Breezehammer!

-[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
-[LIGHTNING CRACKLING]

Not now! I'm in
the middle of something!

Off you go.

[EXCLAIMING] Whoa!

So what can I tell you
about myself?

Oh, let's see! I moved out
of my parents' nest
two weeks ago and, uh...

[SCREAMING]

I'm in between jobs right now,
but I'm hunting in a...

[SCREAMING CONTINUES]

You know,
the early bird gets the worm,

but the late bird
gets the trash can pizza!

-[GROANS]
- Hey, what's your problem?

Can't you see I'm trying
to woo the lady here?

-[BOTH GRUNTING]
- Quit squirreling in
on my business!

- Oh, boy. [GRUNTS]
-[EXCLAIMS]

Squeaks, that birdbrain's
got us all tied up!

Hey! Let go of my kite!

Hey! Some bunny's trying
to capture you!

Don't worry,
my little birdy doll.
I'll save you!

Time to show you
the power of love!

[CAWS]

- Whoa! [GROANING] Ow!
-[MUSIC PLAYING]

-[GRUNTING]
-[EXCLAIMING]

WOMAN: Hey, look! A rabbit!
Pet him as hard as you can!

[CONTINUES GRUNTING]

[EXCLAIMS]

[GROANS]

-[GRUNTS]
-[SITAR MUSIC PLAYING]

[WHISPERS] The Breezehammer!

Did you see that, Squeaks?

I did it. I ex*cuted
the most difficult maneuver
in all of kite flying!

Ah... [CHIRPING]

Well, I guess that crazy bird
helped a little bit too.

But I did most of it.

Hey! You let my love go.

Untie her this instant!

Okay, pal. You can have her.

[GASPS AND CAWS]

Oh, my darling! You're free!

Free! [KISSES]

And now we're free to love
each other forever!

Uh, you know, doc?

That's not a bird
you're kissing. It's a kite.

Nobody's perfect.
[CONTINUES KISSING]