02x21 - King Nutininkommen/Greenhouse Gasbag

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[PANTING]

Uh, sir,
I [STUTTERING] don't think
I can go any further.

[SLURPING]

We can't stop now.

The tomb of
King Nutnamkhamen is close.
I can feel it.

Whoa! [CRASHES]

[GRUNTS]

The only thing
I'm feeling is thirsty.

- I need a break.
- A break?

Did Lance Armstrong
take a break before
he walked on the moon?

[PORKY STAMMERS]

Did Aretha Franklin
take a break before
she discovered electricity?

[STUTTERING]

And the greatest
archeologist of all time
doesn't take a break either.

- Who is that?
- Me, you nitwit!

Now, come on.
We're burning daylight here.

[SQUELCHING]

Daffy, you're l-leading us
into quicksand.

L-let go!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

PORKY: [STAMMERING]
What happened? Where are we?

DAFFY: Hold on,
I'll fire up a torch.

Hmm, someone wrote
a bunch of emojis
on this wall.

Uh, those aren't emojis,
they're hierogly... [STAMMERS]
They're hierogly... [STAMMERS]

They're ancient
Egyptian writing.

I know what they are.
Let's see here.

Owl, eagle, loaf, loaf.

Oval with a
squiggly line over it.

Eh, what... What does it mean?

It means someone
stepped in bird poop.

Ac-according to this,
it means "Cursed be
all you who enter here."

Give me a shave
and call me Shirley.

Look at all this treasure!
We're gonna be rich
and famous!

- PORKY: B-but the curse...
- Curses-shmurshes.
There's no such thing.

[GASPS]
[BLOWS OUT THE TORCH]

Hey! Turn the lights back on.

-[PORKY EXCLAIMS]
- DAFFY: What is it with you?

[STUTTERS] Mummy!

Look, I want my Mommy, too
but you've got to
cut the cord!

Not Mommy. [STUTTERS] Mummy.

[ROARS]

Oh, mummy.

[GROWLS] Huh?

[ROARS]

[BOTH SCREAMING]

[RETRO ARCADE MUSIC PLAYING]

[SCREAMS]

[EXCLAIMS DELIGHTEDLY]

We're getting out of here
and taking this treasure
with us.

I-I don't think the mummy
wants us to do that.

Finders keepers. Losers...

Weepers.

[ROARS]

-[BOTH GULP]
- Quick, you distract him
while I fly to safety.

Oh...
D-did you know this old tune?

♪ Oh, you're my
b-beautiful bird

Flame broiled. Crispy.
Extra crispy.

♪ My beautiful... ♪

[ROARS]

How about a m-magic trick?

[CHUCKLES] Uh, what's that
behind your... Oh... Ear?

Or [STAMMERS] at least
where your ear used to be?
[CHUCKLES]

Maybe I could take it from...

-[ROARS]
- Oh, Porky,
this isn't going very well.

-[ROARS]
-[GASPS]

Hey, how'd you
get across so easily?

[STUTTERS] Magic.

Ooh, I hate magic tricks.

Exotic, you said.
Luxurious, you said.

This trip is n-not
what I signed up for.

- Do you have mummy issues?
- No.

Good.

-[ROARS]
-[EXCLAIMS]

DAFFY: He's released
the boulder-holder.

[LAUGHING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

Huh?

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
Where is it?

[ALL SCREAM]

Yes, we lost him.

Ha! Never seen a
pig move that fast.

And you, nice work, fella.

Hey, I hate to be
the guy to tell you this.

But someone TP'd
your entire body...

[MUMMY GROANS]

Let's just tuck this in here.

[GRUNTS]

[ROARS]

[BOTH SCREAMING]

G-get behind me, Mr. Duck.
I'll protect you.

I've got the prescription
to beat this Egyptian.

Stop hitting me
with the scepter.

[DAZED] My name is Dorothy.

Oh, g-gosh, Mr. Duck, I...

[MUMMY ROARS]

-[EXCLAIMS]
-[LAUGHS]

Have you seen my little dog?

[EXCLAIMS]

[EXCLAIMS]

Huh?

That's it, I've had it.

You come to my home,
you burn all my things,

you run me over
with a giant stone,

and now, you've ruined
my only good set of bandages!

Look, chum.
It's nothing personal,

it's our job,
we're archeologists.

Yeah, we're... [STAMMERS]
What he said.

Archeologists is just
a fancy term
for grave robbers.

- BOTH: Eh.
- I just want you two to leave!
So, what's it gonna take, huh?

You want jewels, artifacts?
Here, take 'em.
Take 'em and get out of here.

Just let me rest in peace!

Oh, and by the way,
you're cursed!
[EXCLAIMS]

Hey, we got away
with the treasure after all.

Well, that's a
fine barrel of scarabs.

We go through all that work
and we get nothing.
It's not fair-oh.

-[MUFFLED TALKING]
- Oh no, the curse. It's
true.

[MUFFLED TALKING]

Well, for you it's a curse,
for me, it's a blessing.
[LAUGHS]

'cause there's not
a better cause than Earth.

It's time to educate
these troglodytes.

- You enjoying
that coffee, sir?
- Yes, I am.

Did you know it takes


to grow enough beans
to make one cup of coffee?

- That's it?
- Shut your mouth!

Hey, you, blowing your nose.
I hope you
recycle that tissue.

Bundle it around some lavender
and use it as a teabag,
that's what I do.

- MAN: You're a jerk.
- Oh, really?

If you want, I could recommend
a website that will help you
realize that you're the jerk.

Excuse me, sir.
Do you have a minute
to talk about the environment?

Boy, I say, boy,
I thought you'd never ask.

FOGHORN:
The environment is our most
precious resource, son.

I say, I say, we all need to
educate each other
about the "Three R's."

- Oh, yeah. Reduce...
- Quit interrupting me, boy!

It's disrespectful
is what it is.
Now, where was I?

Oh, yeah. The three R's.
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.

Well, I've even
made up a little ditty
that helps remind me of that.

Hey! Come back here, boy.
I'm talkin' to you.

See, that's the problem
with your generation, son.
No attention span.

How are you ever gonna
be able to commit to
saving the environment,

when you can't even
commit to listenin'
to a fella.

It's not polite to walk away
when your elders
are talkin' to you, son.

Now, here's a list
of my top 100
environmental concerns.

- One...
- Sorry, I've gotta go.

I forgot to marinate
my compost with kombucha.

I guess the algae
in New Zealand can wait.

Oh, man. That rooster
was something else.

No! No! No!

FOGHORN: Take it! Take it!

-[SCREAMS]
- FOGHORN: Take it.

Take it, son.
It's a low flow shower head.

I say, I say,
you're wastin' an awful lot
of water there, son.

Waste not, want not.
That's what I always say.

Are you listenin' to me, son?

You say you're tryin'
to save the environment
but you're wastin' water

and we're in the middle
of a drought.

You ever heard the phrase,
"Think globally, act
locally?"

Well,
speakin' of acting locally,
I went through your garbage.

Oof!

You gotta do a better job
of recyclin' these, boy.

The news ain't good
when you don't recycle
that paper. Get it, son?

News and paper? Newspaper.
It's a joke, son.

[EXCLAIMS]

Boy's slipperier
than a buttered seal
in a mud wrestlin' contest.

-[PANTING]
-[TIRES SCREECHING]

Surprised to see
the car you drive
isn't more eco-friendly.

Ahh!

What's wrong, boy?
You look like
you've seen a ghost.

The only thing scary
about this ride

is the high carbon emissions
your car produces.

-[TIRES SCREECHING]
-[GROANING]

Son, you are destroyin'
the Earth's fragile ozone

with every push
of that there gas pedal.

[GROANS] Speaking of,
your foot is as lead-filled

as those toxic fumes
emanating from your tail
pipe.

[GROANS] Slow down, son.

-[TIRES SCREECHING]
- Ah! [GROANS]

[MAN PANTING ANXIOUSLY]

[GRUNTS]

FOGHORN: Bottled water?

You never heard of a BPA-free
reusable water bottle, son?

You know, these plastic ones
do so much, I say,
do so much damage.

-[EXCLAIMS]
- Stand up straight, son.

How do expect others
to respect you
if you don't respect
yourself.

You ever heard of
the Great Pacific
Garbage Patch, son?

It's a patch of trash,
mostly plastic bottles
in the Pacific Ocean.

That is about two times,
I say, two times
the size of Texas.

You ever been to Texas?
Fun state. Lot of bull.

Boy, I say, boy.
People just throw
these away willy-nilly.

They wind up everywhere.
All this bottle build-up
is killin' the dolphins.

Can't you hear their cries?

"Help me, I'm a dolphin.
Help me."

This here is a blowhole, son.
They breathe out of it,
talk out of it, too.

Try and keep up
with me here, boy.

The only thing that
this water's good for
is puttin' out a fire.

Huh? Where'd he go?

The boy's like my in-laws
when the check comes,
always disappearin'.

[PANTING]

Aw, there you are, son!

Did you know
that deforestation

is the biggest challenge
for environmentalists?

- Pay attention, son.
I'm still talking.
- Huh?

Every day forests
are destroyed.
Which is a sad shame, really.

I mean, son, did you know
oxygen comes from trees?

No trees, no oxygen.
It's simple math.

- Oh, no!
- Oh, yeah!

We'd use all this oxygen
with our jibber-jabberin',
talkin' and squawkin'

and breathin' and yakkin'.

Stop it, you're the one
stealing all of our planet's
precious gases.

You'll k*ll us all
if you don't shut your beak!

[LAUGHS] Boy, I say, boy,
that is rich coming from you.

You are hilarious.

Hilarious! [INHALES]

-[FOGHORN LAUGHING]
- Oh, no! It's too late!
The ecosystem is collapsing!

[FOGHORN LAUGHING]

Reduce! Reuse! Recycle!

I can't breathe.
There's not much time.

If I could just start
one more online petition
there might be hope.

Hey, boy. Are you,
I say, are you okay?

What? Where am I?

You passed out, son.
You fainted.

You asked me to chitchat
and I was talking to you
and you just fell backwards.

Oh, no! No, no, no! Not you.
You destroyed the Earth!

You took all the oxygen.

Oh, settle down, son.
You're gonna hurt yourself.

Don't you wanna
talk about the environment?

No! No, no, no.
I don't ever wanna talk about
the environment ever again.

I quit. Here,
take my shirt. Take it all.

I just never wanna
see you again!

[SCREAMS]

Oh, hello there.
Do you have a moment
to talk about the...

[SHUTTERS SLAM SHUT]