Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.

Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?

Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register

01x13 - Big Cheese/Campers All Pull Pants Down

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Camp Lazlo". Aired: July 8, 2005 – March 27, 2008.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Series follows Lazlo, an anthropomorphic spider monkey who goes to a camp called "Camp Kidney", a Boy Scout–like summer camp in the Pimpleback Mountains.

01x13 - Big Cheese/Campers All Pull Pants Down

Post by bunniefuu »

Attention, campers.

Attention, campers.

It's time for camp lazlo.

♪ There were two scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o

♪ L

♪ A

♪ Z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ Yodel-ay-eee

[



Mail day!

Hooray!

Mom's cooking!

Turtlenecks!

Wow!

All right, guys!

Check this out!

Woo hoo!

What is it?

I have no idea!

Whoo!

Yeah!

So what did you guys get?

Rocks.

I can't believe it!

What is it, raj?

It's a cheese wheel.

Cheese wheel!

Why would your parents send

You a cheese wheel?

Everyone knows that a cheese

Wheel, especially a cheese wheel

From the kaffizle river region,

Is the funnest toy in all of

India.

Allow me to demonstrate.

See anything worth

Confiscating, slinkman?

Well, sir, it looks like the

Loons got some hand-knit

Turtlenecks.

Huh!

Maybe I can use them for

Fishing-pole cozies.

Anything else?

Larry got a baseball cap.

I've got a whole box of

Baseball caps.

How about some sneakers?

Ah, too small.

Yo-yo?

Come on, slinkman, that's

Kid's stuff!

How about the dung beetles?

What did they get?

Ooh!

Ha ha ha!

[Gagging]

You don't want to know, sir.

It looks like raj got an indian

Cheese wheel--

Ooh!

Let me see!

[Crash]

Imagine my luck!

One of the rarest cheese wheels

On the planet!

I didn't realize you were

Such a cheese aficionado, sir.

I dabble.

Mmm!

I can almost taste its exotic

Enzymes melting in my mou--

Aaah!

What are they doing?!

Exotic chees are delicate!

Aaah!

Slinkman!

I demand that you confiscate

That cheese immediately!

I'm afraid I can't do that,

Sir.

The manual strictly forbids the

Confiscation of all cultured

Dairy products.

The manual strictly forbids

The...

[Speaking gibberish]

Slinkman!

Fine!

I'll just have to outsmart them,

Beat them at their own game.

Ha ha ha ha!

[Flatulence sounds]

How does it do that, raj?

The indian cheese wheel has

Many magical properties.

It can sound like a whoopee

Cushion.

Hello there, camp buddies.

Whatcha doin'?

Mind if I join in on the fun?

Sure, scoutmaster lumpus.

We didn't even know you liked

Fun.

We thought that you preferred

To confiscate things.

Of course I like fun.

Why, look--i even have a fun

Baseball cap, worn at a very fun

Angle.

Yes, but did you not

Confiscate that hat from larry?

"Larry" is my, uh, nickname.

Larry.

Is your other nickname

"Sampson"?

Are you kids accusing me of

Something?

No.

Good.

Now, let's just put this talk of

Confiscation behind us and have

Some fun.

Yay!

Fun, fun!

All right, then.

I guess I better get going.

B-but, scoutmaster larry, I

Thought we were gonna have some

Fun.

Oh, and it's been real swell,

Fellas.

But you didn't even get to

Play with raj's new cheese

Wheel.

[Buzzing]

Waaah!

Ha ha ha!

Isn't this fun, scoutmaster

L-larry?

Larry!

La-la-la-la-larry canary!

La-la-la-larry underweary!

Larry.

[Thinking]

I can't take this anymore.

Oh, just look at them, with

Their infantile expressions and

Their dirty little fingers and

Their filthy behinds desecrating

An exotic cheese wheel!

[Grunts]

Heh heh heh heh--oh!

[Buzzing]

Hee hee hee hee!

How's the queen doin', huh?

[Laughing evilly]

Gotcha.

Aaah!

Oops!

Sorry, scoutmaster larry.

[Groaning]

Oh!

Hey, fellas!

Look over there!

It's--it's a thing!

What?

What is it?

I don't see it!

Do you see it?

I don't see anything.

[Laughing evilly]

I still am not seeing

Anything.

What?

Scoutmaster larry?

Larry!

Hey!

Where's scoutmaster larry?

Jumping peanuts!

Where is the cheese wheel?

Someone has stolen it!

Who would do such a horrible and

Insensitive thing?

[Laughing evilly]

We are never going to find

Anything as fun as the cheese

Wheel to play with.

Hey, raj, what about

Scoutmaster larry?

I bet he could help.

You are right, lazlo.

We should go ask him.

If anyone can truly appreciate

The fun of the cheese wheel,

It's scoutmaster larry.

[Humming]

Do you think that maybe

Somebody ate the cheese?

Oh, no, no, no.

That would be impossible.

Impossible?

I'm confused, raj.

It's like this, lazlo.

No one actually swims in the

Kaffizle river because the

Sulfates from kaffizle springs

Are extremely acidic.

And so, if you actually ate a

Piece of kaffizle river cheese,

You would disintegrate in

Exactly 13 minutes.

Well, bottoms up.

[Loud belch]

Tangy, yet robust.

[Knock on door]

Who is it?

Entres vous.

Scoutmaster larry, we were

Just wondering if you had--

S-scoutmaster larry!

What are you doing?!

Oh, look.

Gorgonzola is back again this

Year.

You ate my cheese wheel!

I-it's poisonous!

I understand that you're

Upset about being outwitted once

Again by a more nimble-minded

And cunning adult, but that is

No excuse for telling fibs.

But it is not a fib!

You will disintegrate in exactly



Kaffizle river cheese wheels are

Deadly!

Children, this is all very

Humorous, I'm sure, but I

Haven't the time to be

Entertaining your ridiculous

Stories about--"deadly...

Kaffizle...river...cheese...

Wheels"?

[Panting]

[All wailing]

Hold on, scoutmaster larry!

I'm coming!

Larry!

[Gasps]

Oh, I'm so depressed!

My life tragically cut short by

Fatal fromage.

No, no, no, no, no!

Um, scoutmaster lumpus, I

Feel very badly that my cheese

Is the cause of your untimely

Disintegration, but you still

Have 12 minutes and 22 seconds

Left.

A life measured in seconds!

How long now?

12 Minutes, 9 seconds.

Never mind.

Scoutmaster lumpus, how can

You turn this slight bummer into

A positive?

Disintegration is a slight

Bummer?

You know, make the most out

Of your time left.

I guess I could try to make

The best out of--wait a minute!

If I'm going to disintegrate,

That means I don't have to face

Consequences!

I can do whatever I want!

Now you're talkin'!

This should be good.

For instance, I love eating

Norwegian bloatfish, but I'm

Violently allergic to them.

But I won't be around long

Enough for it to really affect

Me.

Hee hee hee!

Mmm!

Marvelous!

Bloatelicious!

So you can eat those spiny

Things and it won't affect you

Until later?

Well, I'd bloat a little.

After that, you don't want to

Know what happens.

How much time do I have left?

Uh, 8 minutes, 20 seconds.

Quick, get me the phone!

[Giggling]

Commander hoo-ha, please.

No, I can't hold!

I'm disintegrating in 8 minutes!

Hello, commander hoo-ha?

I just wanted to tell you that

You're a pompous haggis-lover

With buffalo breath!

Hoo, what do you think of that,

Huh?

I've always wanted to tell you

That!

[Indistinct yelling]

That's lumpus at camp kidney.

Yes, you do that, commander

Hoo-hot-under-the-collar.

Oh, this is so great!

Hark!

What is that?

Ah, the ice cream man!

Quick, my life savings!

Hee hee hee hee!

Time, time, how much time?

6 Minutes, 3 seconds.

Wait, mr. Ice cream man!

Quick, give me all the lava

Blisters and frosty fishies you

Have!

I'm getting a weird feeling

About this.

I know.

Larry.

Uh-oh!

Where is he?!

Where is that lame scoutmaster

Of yours?!

♪ Here I am

Lumpus, you--what's this?

Present.

Whoo!

Yah-ha! Whee!

Hey!

My special-order crash guzzler,

Uh, v-thingy!

Ha ha ha!

Aaaah!

Whoo!

Watch out, officer doughnut!

Time?

Only 4 minutes, 12 seconds.

Care for a lava blister?

They're a little hot, but oddly

Satisfying.

Yes, you heard me!

A bloated escapee from some

Asylum, I tell you!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Driving a-aaah!

Ha ha ha ha!

Here he comes.

Only one minute left.

This way, come on.

Take all of it.

I don't need it.

How am I doing on time?

10 Seconds.

So long, scouts.

So long, camp kidney.

So long, life.

I'm ready.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

What happened?

I don't know.

Turned into a bloated slob,

That's what happened.

Well, i--i didn't

Disintegrate.

Here, we don't take

Half-eaten cheese wheels.

What?

"Made in china"?

Hey!

This cheese wheel isn't from the

Kaffizle river!

It's from china!

[Laughing nervously]

What a funny mistake.

Isn't that great, scoutmaster

Lumpus?

You're not gonna disintegrate

After all.

Let's go, buddy.

You'll pay for this,

Pachyderm puss!

You and your buddies!

Ohhh!

That bloatfish is starting to

Affect me.

[expl*si*n]

Ewww.

Fondue, anyone?

That sounds fabulous.

[Siren fading]

Hey, does one of you guys

Have a loofah?

Uh, hello?

Isn't this fun, scoutmaster

L-larry?

Larry!

La-la-la-la-larry canary?

La-la-la-la-larry underweary?

Larry!

La-la-la-larry raspberry?

La-la-la-la-larry so scary?

La-la-la-la-larry so hairy?

La-la-la-la-larry whose

Glasses are so glarey?

Larry!

[


[]


Attention, campers.

Attention, campers.

It's time for camp lazlo.

♪ There were two scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o

♪ L

♪ A

♪ Z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ Yodel-ay-eee



[Laughing evilly]

Um, I'll trade you this

Beekeeper merit badge for your

Taxidermy badge.

Uh, throw in your rabies

Badge, and you've got yourself

A deal.

What do you want for the

Flame-throwing badge?

Ooh, that is gonna cost you.

I'll give you my

Stamp-collecting badge for it.

Surely you jest.

Do I really look dumb enough

To--aaah!

You look pretty stupid to me.

[All laughing]

[Gasps]

[All laughing]

He's about to cry.

So am i!

Waaah!

[Giggling]

Ooh, I'm sorry.

It's just...you look so

Ridiculous.

"Aaah!

Gasp!"

Ha ha ha ha!

Oh, man, I'm good.

And I won't stop till the last

Pair of shorts drop, and every

Last bean scout is pantsed!

[Giggling]

[Laughing evilly]

Whoops!

[Snickering]

Whoops!

Whoops!

Ha ha ha!

Again!

Whoops!

[Giggling]

[Giggling]

Again!

Whoops!

Whoops!

Whoops!

Again?

Ooh!

Oops!

[Humming]

Oh!

Goodness gra--

Whoops!

Ok, let's see now.

Raj, chuck, sampson, mort, clam,

Bill, chip, skip, dave, and

Pingpong, gordon, fred, norman,

Milt.

That leaves...

Lazlo!

All right, beans, listen up!

Tell lazlo his pants are as good

As mine!

Whew!

Being a bean scout can be hard

Work.

It's not easy baby-sitting a

Forest full of saplings.

Hey, guys, what's up?

Edward is pantsing everyone!

One second, I've got pants;

Next thing I know, I've got my

Dignity around my ankles.

Sure, you can pull them back up,

But it's never quite the same.

So, edward's pulling

Everyone's pants down?

Hee hee!

Yeah, yeah, fun.

I lost everything: nickels,

Dimes, and quarters!

The horror!

He won't stop till every last

Bean scout is pantsed.

You got to help me.

I don't want to be pants-zed.

It's no use, man.

You're next.

Waaah!

Hi, everyone.

My name is milt, and I've been

Pantsed.

Hi, milt.

Scoutmaster lumpus, I'm in

Terrible danger.

How long has that car been

Parked out there?

Aaah!

It's too late for me, lazlo.

But you still have a chance.

Run, lazlo!

Run, lazlo, run!

Save yourself!

Aaah!

Nurse leslie!

You have to help me!

Hey, I'm next, lazlo!

Nurse leslie, please help me!

I have an emergency!

You and about 50 other

Scouts.

Take a look at all the cases I

Have.

We've got an epidemic here.

We've got pantsing situations

I've only read about.

Not only that, but I'm starting

To see wedgies, double wedgies,

Wedgie twists.

Eeyeah.

[Gasps]

Nurse leslie, don't make me go

Back out there!

And I suppose you want an

Excuse.

Oh, yes, please.

Thank you.

Whew!

Here you go.

Now, this will excuse you from

Swimming, archery, cooking,

Fishing, candle dipping, and

Ninjitsu.

Don't forget to excuse me

From pantsing.

What?

You can't get excused from that.

It's a--a camp thing.

[Groans]

Aaah!

Oops.

Hey, lazlo.

What?

Um, who's there?

It's me, the shrub, your

Buddy.

My shrub buddy?

Yeah, that's it--shrub buddy.

I hear you're, uh, having some

Worries about getting pantsed.

Um, yeah?

Yeah, well, I thought so.

I'm willing to help you out.

You're a shrub.

Yeah, I know--your shrub

Buddy.

Here, check this out.

This is a map to a secret

Hideaway where you can lay low

For a couple of days.

But I'm not even sure I'm gonna

Give it to you.

Oh, please, can I have it?

Oh, please, oh, please, oh,

Please, oh, please?

Well, ok, but don't tell

Anybody.

Shrub buddy, you are the best

Buddy in the whole world!

Yeah, yeah, sure, lazlo.

Edward is pantsing everyone!

[Gulps]

It's no use, man.

You're next.

The horror!

Hello, lazlo.

Oh, hi, edward.

You hiding from me?

Yeah.

I just thought I'd lay low here

Till it all blew over--er-er!

Edward!

But--you--how--how did--

Edward--edward, what are you

Doing here?

I live here, you idiot.

You know, "shrub buddy"?

Ha ha ha ha!

Oh, shrub buddy.

Eee!

Ok, so let's get this over

With.

Wait a second, edward.

Why don't you just tell people

That you pantsed me?

That way, you'd be happy, I

Would be happy, and no one will

Know.

What do you think?

So you want me to lie to

Everyone.

Well, i--

You're that scared?

[Stammering]

Uh-huh.

Ok, if you say so.

Really?

Wow, thanks!

You have no idea.

I am, like, so relieved.

Ok, but I just want you to

Know, you are the biggest coward

I have ever met.

So long, coward.

Ok, take it easy, edward.

Get lost.

You are the biggest coward.

[Echoing]

So long, loser.

I am not hiding from edward

Anymore!

I'm going to challenge him to a

Pants-off!

Yay!

Give me some pants.

There's gonna be trouble.

So after I pantsed lazlo,

That was everybody.

You should have seen his monkey

Face.

One problem, edward--

I still have my pants...

On.

You asked for it, lazlo.

You and your pants are going

Down!

Let's go, pal!

I'm not scared of you!

Make a move.

[Scouts "oohing"]

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

[Grunting]

Rrr!

Hi-yah!

Aaah!

Lazlo, you ok?

Y-yeah...

Hup-hup-hup-hup.

Hup-hup-hup-hup...

Uh, ready.

Ok, lazlo, let him have it!

Lazlo, look!

Look out!

[Roars]

Heh!

Hi-yah!

Aaah!

My eyes!

Oh, my gosh!

Are you ok?

Let me see.

Gotcha!

[All laughing]

You know, this isn't so bad.

[Giggling]

It's kind of fun.

Oh, no!

My pants!

Hey, lazlo, your pants are down.

Ha ha ha ha!

Hey, that does look kind of

Fun.

Hey, my pants!

[All laughing]

Whoop!

Whoops!

Whoops whoops!

Whoop whoop whoops!

Whoops!

[All laughing]

Scouts, what's going on

Here?!

[All gasp]

I am very disappointed in all

Of you!

p*nsy...pantsying...pantsing

Is not the type of activity that

Campers need to be participating

In!

Um, sir?

In a minute, slinkman.

There are many more constructive

Ways in which we could all be

Spending our precious time here

Together at camp kidney.

Sir, excuse me, sir.

What is it, slinkman?!

Slinkman?

Yes, sir?

I've been shirtsed!

Isn't this fun, scoutmaster

L-larry?

Larry!

La-la-la-la-larry canary?

La-la-la-la-larry underweary?

Larry!

La-la-la-larry raspberry?

La-la-la-la-larry so scary?

La-la-la-la-larry so hairy?

La-la-la-la-larry whose

Glasses are so glarey?

Larry!