01x21 - Master of Arms

[bunniefuu]

♪ Jim Bowie, Jim Bowie

♪ He was a bold adventuring man ♪

♪ Jim Bowie, Jim Bowie

♪ Battled for right with a powerful hand ♪

♪ His blade was tempered and so was he ♪

♪ Indestructible steel was he

♪ Jim Bowie, Jim Bowie

♪ He was a fighter, a fearless and mighty adventuring man ♪

- Bon soi, Jim Bowie.

- Good evening, Jean, good evening.

- There it is, Monsieur Bowie, especially for you, a winner.

- You've been promising me a winner

for more than a year.

I haven't seen it yet.

- Then this appalling bad luck cannot continue, Monsieur.

- I bought a ticket from you three nights ago.

I haven't even heard the result of that draw yet.

- You are financially embarrassed, Monsieur.

Well then take the ticket and pay for it later.

- All right, Jean.

You see, Sam, you can't win,

either the money or the argument.

There we are.

- Merci, Monsieur.

I have not had the honor of this gentleman's acquaintance.

- Houston's the name, my friend, Sam Houston.

And you can sell me one of your golden opportunities.

- Permit me to compliment you on your

choice of friends, Monsieur Jim.

And bless you, Messieurs, bless you.

- Good night, Jean.

You know, 10 years ago, that man was the most admired

and feared master of arms in New Orleans.

Came over from Paris after Napoleon's exile.

He was the first fencing master at Saint-Cyr.

That's the French military academy.

- Then old age caught up with him, hmm?

- No, his eyes.

Got a sword wound in one and a strain in the other.

He almost got himself k*lled before it was discovered.

Then, no one would challenge him anymore.

- That was bad?

- Well, a master of arms advertises by dueling.

The public flocked to a fighting master.

When he couldn't risk his life anymore, his show was over.

His show, that reminds me,

I'm gonna be late for the theater.

- You going with a young lady?

- Yes, sir, I got tickets to The Rivals,

with that new Irish actor, Tyrone Power.

- Well I'm going with Captain Lafitte.

Now he'll be by here in a moment, why don't you join us?

- You mean, with my young lady?

- Well I just thought.

- No, no, thanks.

We'll see you between the acts.

[speaking foreign language]

Hey, I almost forget my golden opportunity.

[speaking foreign language]

[laughing]

[punches landing]

- It's old Jean, my lottery ticket peddler.

[singers humming]

- Someone with too much too drink, Monsieur?

- Captain Lafitte.

It's old Jean DuBois.

- He is ill?

- No, knocked out, by me.

He attacked me.

- You, Jean?

- Yeah, just now, came at me with a club.

- But why?

- I don't know.

- Put him in my carriage.

I will take him home and call in a doctor.

- All right.

[singers humming]

- [Jim Voiceover] In its heyday, the fencing academy

of Jean DuBois was the most popular in the city.

Now it served only as his living quarters.

It was here we took the injured old man.

- That's quite a welt you got back there, Jean.

But you'll be all right.

- Why you did not k*ll me?

- Why did you attack me?

- I saw all that money in your pouch.

I was desperate.

- Why didn't you tell me?

I'd have made you a loan.

- $5,000, Monsieur?

- 5,000?

- What for, mater?

- For my daughter.

Is she not beautiful?



Think of it, 15 years.

And now she's coming here,

all the way from France, just to see me.

Me.

A living lie.

No no no, Monsieur,

my mind is perfectly clear.

She was three when I left her

with the Good Sisters in France.

And I came here to make our fortune, my Rapier and I.

I did not tell her or Rapier of my duels.

Master of arms,

may he meet and teach the sons of aristocrats.

But they will never meet their daughters.

So I told her I was a planter,

a rich, respected gentleman.

The years went by, the lie grew taller and taller.

- The $5,000, you say it was for your daughter?

- [Jean] Her dowry.

- A good marriage then.

- The son of a distinguished French aristocrat

and an ambassador.

He had already written me,

suggesting the terms of the marriage contract.

- And 5,000 would solve your problems?

- That is what I thought, Monsieur.

But now I know that money alone can solve nothing.

They will be coming here on a ship from French,

tomorrow probably.

- They?

- Yes, my daughter Celestine, her fiance

and his father, the ambassador en route

to Mexico to take charge of the embassy.

I was to give her away in marriage.

Now they will find me here like this, an imposter,

living in poverty, without money or position.

I would rather I lost my sight completely,

than to see her face when she learns the truth.

- The, uh,

money probably wouldn't do him any good anyway.

He's in too deep.

- Perhaps it is best.

Sooner or later, she would find out.

- Well it's not our affair, I suppose.

But I wish there was something we could do.

[singers humming]

- A dowry would be easy.

I would myself be willing to give a contribution.

- And you'd be throwing away your good money.

- Oh, Sam, you're a hard man.

- I'm just trying to be sensible about this thing, Jim.

You can't take a broken-down old ticket peddler

and make him into a gentleman.

- Why not, why can't you?

- Why can't you what?

- Make him into a gentleman.

- A gentleman needs

background, a decent house,

servants, a carriage.

Now where he could possibly find

all these things by tomorrow?

Oh no.

Now don't tell me that you two possibly

think that you could--

Jim, I could understand, he's a soft-hearted idiot.

But you, Lafitte, the pirate.

Oh, no you don't.

This is gonna cost somebody a lotta money,

and I'm getting out.

- Now wait a minute, Sam, wait a minute.

Didn't you say that all he would need

would be some fine clothes, a fine house,

servants, carriage?

- And you're gonna provide all these, I suppose.

- I already have the carriage,

and my scoundrels could as well be servants as smugglers.

- And the house?

Where would he find an impressive enough house?

- I think I could manage that one.

Yeah, the young Marquis de Graviand and his aunt.

I've done them a favor or two.

- Then there's nice clothes.

- That's nothing, I have trunks full, from various ships.

- I'm sorry, gentlemen.

- Well what else does it need besides the house,

the carriage, clothes and a shave?

- Well, manners.

- As master of arms, his manners were once elegant.

- Mm-hmm.

- Shall we put up the dowry, Bowie?

- You two are a couple of soft-headed sentimentals.

But, I--

I suppose if you persist in this thing

you can count old Sam in too.

[laughing]

- [Jim Voiceover] The next day I was at the wharf

in the carriage of Jean Lafitte,

posing as the estate manager of Monsieur Jean DuBois.

I found old Jean's daughter as beautifully pink

and white as a Dresden figurine.

Her fiance, Armond, as noble in appearance

as an epic hero, and his father, the ambassador,

laden with honors and dignity.

- Oh, Monsieur, I'm so nervous.

- So is your father, Mademoiselle.

- The residence of the Marquis de Graviand, did you say?

- That's right, sir.

Monsieur DuBois always stops here

when he comes down from his plantation.

You know the de Graviand family, I suppose, sir?

- Naturally.

- Francois, I should like to introduce

Mademoiselle Celestine DuBois.

And his excellency, Monsieur Delavon,

ambassador to Mexico, and his son, Monsieur Armond Delavon.

- May I present my Aunt Marie, and Monsieur.

- Such great emotion, Monsieur,

it is much too intimate to be shared.

- I quite agree, Mademoiselle.

A reunion that will live long in our memories.

- The House of de Graviand welcomes its distinguished guest.

- Milady is most gracious.

- And we have something else planned

for your memories, Messieurs, a big reception.

- Our guests must be fatigued after their journey, Francois.

They would like to be shown to their rooms.

- How thoughtful of you, Mademoiselle.

- This way, Messieurs.

I like a house full of people,

and a big party, don't you, Messieurs?

- At first, I did not approve of this

deception, Monsieur Bowie.

- But you do now?

- Oh, yes.

For this is from the heart.

Like a child playing, or a poem.

Do you know you are a poet, Monsieur?

- I've been called many things in my time, but never that.

- Oh but you are.

You make poems, not with words, but with people.

With life itself.

[door knocking]

- Excuse me.

- Higgins, sir, the ambassador's valet.

- Oh yes, come in, Higgins.

- Thank you, sir.

- Right up the stairs, the first door on your left.

- Thank you.

- The Honorable Mr. Samuel Houston,

former governor of the state of Tennessee.

- Monsieur DuBois.

- Good evening.

- Celestine DuBois.

- Well, Francois, looks like all the guests have arrived.

So far, so good, huh?

- I do not think so, Jim.

That is what I must talk to you about.

- Francois, I told you a half hour ago,

it is much past your bedtime.

- Just one word with Jim, Aunt Marie?

- Monsieur Bowie is busy, Francois, now go.

- Do as your Aunt Marie says, go on.

- But, Marie.

- Go go.

Go, up up.

- [Jim Voiceover] The reception was such a huge success

that the ambassador insisted on signing

the marriage contract that very evening.

And it was I who had the privilege of witnessing

the signing of the document,

and the transferring of the $5,000 dowry,

in which I had equal shares with the former governor

of Tennessee and a former pirate of the Seven Seas.

[slingshot snapping]

- Hey, I didn't give you this thing to sh**t at people.

- But I must talk to you, Jim.

- Not tonight, Francois, it's very late.

You oughta be in bed, go on now, go on.

- And now, Mademoiselle, with your permission,

I suggest that we all retire.

It has been a day of emotion,

and I for one am exhausted.

- I too, Monsieur, so beautifully exhausted.

- Ohh.

- Bon soir, cheri, sleep well.

- Mon cher Papa, it is unbearable to think

we have been apart so many years.

- Come, we will go up together.

- A job in which you had little faith, eh, Sam?

- Houston never doubted the outcome for a moment.

- Have you ever seen anyone so beautiful

as the blushing bride to be?

- Or as happy as old DuBois?

- Or as proud of his transaction as the ambassador?

[laughing]

Haven't you gone to bed yet?

- I could not sleep.

- Too much excitement?

- Not as much as there will be.

- What's that?

- Monsieur Bowie, there is something I must tell you.

It cannot wait longer.

- Well come and sit down and tell us.

You're among friends.

- It is something I overheard

just before the reception, Messieurs.

I was approaching the room of our guests to exchange

the reminiscences of Paris.

- Yes?

- It was very strange.

I overheard the ambassador asking

to board the ship in Mexico.

- There's nothing strange about that.

They're leaving just after the wedding.

- But the wedding is not until the day after tomorrow.

- So?

- So how can they attend the wedding

if the ship is sailing at dawn?

- You mean dawn tomorrow?

- I mean today, it being now after midnight.

- Ridiculous.

- Francois, you, uh, you feeling all right?

- No, sir, I'm feeling badly.

For I know, and I must so inform you,

the ambassador and his son are imposters.

- Now this is a very serious accusation, young man.

I hope you have proof.

- I do have proof, Monsieur.

I did exchange the reminiscences of Paris.

And in so doing, I learned, to my sorrow

that Monsieur L'Ambassador thinks that le Duke de L'Orleans

is married to a lady who does not exist.

A mistake which no one, not even a mere clerk

in the diplomatic service, would ever make.

Furthermore, he did not even know

the address of the Foreign Office.

- [Sam] What do you think?

- They've gone, down the trellis and through the garden.

- And you were in such a hurry to hand over the dowry.

- I had a feeling about this, right from the beginning.

- Now, Sam, don't you crow.

Lafitte, you know the waterfront.

What ship sails for Mexico at dawn?

- Of course, we may catch them yet.

The ship, the ship, let me see.

In the river right now, there is the brig Pilgrim

from Boston, La Moet from Marseille.

- The ship in question is the schooner Le Bon Chance,

just out of the Le Havre.

- Oh, Monsieur, Monsieur Bowie, my jewel box, it's missing.

Is it possible that one of our guests?

- It is indeed.

- And as of right now, Mademoiselle, anything is possible.

The ambassador and his son are imposters.

- Oh, I think I'll shall faint.

- Mademoiselle, you explain it to Monsieur Dubois

and his daughter.

- The ship.

- We have a little task to do.

- Oh, poor Celestine.

Oh, but no.

- Oh, but yes, Aunt Marie.

It was I who found them out.

[singers humming]

- The waterfront.

- [Jim Voiceover] We had no time to lose.

The ship was anchored off Canal Street

but due to sail with the morning tide.

[singers humming]

The ship was still there when we reached the docks at dawn.

We scattered to look for the thieves.

[singers humming]

- All right, Sailor, you can shove off now.

You won't be needed.

- [Sailor] Aye aye, sir.

- Can I give you a hand, Mr. Higgins?

- Up with the hands, Monsieur.

[g*n firing]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[punch landing]

[punch landing]

[grunting]

[punch landing]

- Please, please, Monsieur, no more.

No more.

[groaning]

- Well, we took care of them, huh?

- We found the enemy, Auntie Marie,

and we defeated him.

Your jewels, Mademoiselle.

- Oh, merci, Monsieur le Marquis.

- Your daughter knows about the so-called

ambassador and his son?

- Even about myself, Monsieur.

And she says she does not hate me.

- But that is so, Papa.

I do but love you all the more.

You have done a wonderful thing for me.

I did not ever love Armond.

I only agreed on a marriage of convenience

because I thought Papa was so rich, and a great gentleman,

and that is what he would want.

Do you not understand, Messieurs?

Can you not make him understand?

- You're sincere and honest people.

Understanding will come in time.

- This'll help you til you get settled.

- Oh, thank you, but no, Monsieur.

I'm perfectly able to support Papa and myself.

He gave me a most excellent education.

I'm an accomplished harpsichordist.

I shall have no trouble in finding pupils.

- Oh I'm sure you will not, Celestine.

As a matter of fact,

here's your first one.

- Oh but no, Aunt Marie, this is my reward, music lessons?

This is a foul blow, Jim, you must do something, quick.

- Now listen, young fella.

There's one thing you better learn right now.

Never argue with a lady, you just can't win.

[laughing]

♪ Jim Bowie, Jim Bowie

♪ He was a fighter, a fearless and mighty adventuring man ♪