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03x10 - Bear-l-y a Vacation/Radio Free Edward

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Camp Lazlo". Aired: July 8, 2005 – March 27, 2008.*
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Series follows Lazlo, an anthropomorphic spider monkey who goes to a camp called "Camp Kidney", a Boy Scout–like summer camp in the Pimpleback Mountains.

03x10 - Bear-l-y a Vacation/Radio Free Edward

Post by bunniefuu »

[Reveille plays]

Attention, campers,

Attention, campers--

It's time for "camp lazlo!"

♪ There were two scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪





Hey, raj?

Yes, lazlo?

How many times can you hop up

And down?

Well...

My legs are tremendously strong,

So I would have to say



Yeah.

That sounds about right.

How about you, clam?

4.

4?

No way!

4.

Wow.



Whoa!

Make it stop!

[Sobbing]

Make it stop!

That sounds like nurse

Leslie.

Make it stop.

Nurse leslie?

Make it stop.

Yeah?

Uh, everything ok?

Yeah.

Was that you screaming "make

It stop, make it stop"?

I was rehearsing for a play.

[Music plays]

Waiting room music.

That mindless waiting room

Music!

Whoa!

Make it stop!

Make it stop!

Make it stop!

Can't you turn it off?

Turn it off?

I...

I don't even know where it's

Coming from.

[Sobbing]

Don't judge me for crying,

Fellas.

Don't you dare judge me!

[Bawling]

I think someone needs a

Vacation.

A vacation?

What's a vacation?

You've never heard of a

Vacation?

Come on, lazlo.

It's not that unbelievable.

Perhaps nurse leslie's from

Europe where vacations are

Referred to as holidays.

Look, you idiots,

I know what a vacation is.

I've just never had one.

But everyone needs a vacation

Now and then.

Yeah.

Well, tell that to

Scoutmaster lumpus.

Scoutmaster lumpus?

What?!

Can nurse leslie take a

Vacation?

We have a nurse?

See?

It'll be fine.

[Laughter]

Are you feeling relaxed yet,

Nurse leslie?

Actually, I am.

It's so nice to get away from

That awful lobotomy music.

Just wait until you wheel

Into lake nosebleed.

The most beautiful vacation

Spot in the prickly pines

Tri-country area.

Aagh!

Man down.

Raj, are you ok?

I scraped my knee.

Well, it's a good thing I

Brought my medical bag.

Aagh!

But there isn't time to operate.

[Sobbing]

You're going to have to leave me

Here.

Nobody's leaving anybody

Anywhere.

This--

So, there is time to operate?

Let me just get you a

Bandage.

[Music plays]

Did you hear that?

Hear what?

[Music plays]

Ah ha ha.

Ha ha.

Uh...

I guess I really do need a

Vacation.

Now let's try and be a little

More careful.

Ok, nurse leslie.

We'll be careful.

[Sniffs]

My nose is runny.

Here.

Wipe it with this.

No, lazlo!

That's poison ivy.

[Honk]

Now I have to get

Calamine lotion.

[Music plays]

Nurse leslie?

I got a blister.

[Music plays]

[Growls]

Nurse leslie, all this hiking

Is hurting my pancreas.

[Music]

Nurse leslie, I drank some of

The lake.

Aagh!

No more!

[Grunts]

[Splash]

[Music playing]

[Sighs]

Finally, I can start relaxing.

If anyone gets hurt, they're on

Their own.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha--

[Clank]

What the--

Your stool got caught in a

Bear trap, nurse leslie.

How will I get around?

With your legs.

These old things.

But it's been years.

Well, here goes nothing.

Tada!

Yay!

Whoo!

Yeah, yeah!

Whoo-hoo!

[Cracking sounds]

Oh!

Ow.

What's wrong, nurse leslie?

My legs feel funny.

They look funny, too.

Ha.

Ha ha.

No.

No, no, no, no!

That is funny!

Funny!

[Laughter]

Stop pulling, lazlo.

Take it easy.

Nurse leslie, please tell

Lazlo to stop pulling.

Wait, raj.

Nurse leslie, are your legs

Supposed to bend like this?

Nurse leslie?

Sorry.

The pain made me pass out.

What's wrong with your legs?

Broken.

That's right, kid.

If I set the bones and apply

Splints, I can limp back to

Camp.

Where's my first aid kit?

[Music playing]

Oh, right.

Don't worry, nurse leslie.

You've taken such good care of

Us, it's our turn to take care

Of you.

We'll carry you back to camp if

We have to.

Upsie-daisy.

[Grunting]

You're heavier than you look.

I'm wearing a girdle.

Anyway, this isn't a problem.

Just use the tent to make a

Stretcher.

Hello?

Why is he talking about

Stretching at a time like this?

He's delirious, raj.

We've got to find a way to get

Him back to camp.

We could...

Tie him to a boulder and roll it

Down the hill.

Catapult.

Catapult.

Now, that's interesting.

What is wrong with my

Boulder?

Uh...

You know what?

This fresh air is making me feel

Better already.

In fact, go back to camp without

Me.

I'll be fine.

Please.

Go.

Nobody's leaving anyone

Anywhere, nurse leslie.

You said so yourself.

It's time to think

Outside the box.

Ooh!

Ok.

He's too heavy for us to carry

And we don't have anything to

Carry him with.

I told you build a stretcher.

So, we need someone big and

Strong enough to carry him for

Us.

Who?

When I was just a tiny

Pachyderm...

My uncle took me to the circus.

They had trained a grizzly bear

To juggle 3 heavy bowling ba*ls.

I was impressed by the beast's

Tremendous strength and

Dexterity.

[Growling]

[Screaming]

[Laughter]

All we have to do is train a

Grizzly bear to juggle nurse

Leslie back to camp!

Genius!

You did it, raj!

Hear that, nurse leslie?

Nurse leslie?

[Grunting]

Nurse leslie?

There you are!

We thought we lost you, you

Silly nurse shark.

[Gasping]

Come on.

We've got a plan to get you

Home.

[Whimpering]

[Groaning]

[Groaning]

What?

Ooh.

Try another one.

I think he's catching on,

Raj.

What's going on?

Nurse leslie!

You passed out again.

But don't worry,

We'll have you home in a jiffy.

[Growling]

Once he learns to juggle pine

Cones, we'll teach him to juggle

You.

Oh.

Nurse leslie?

Oh, there he goes again.

If we're gonna save nurse

Leslie, we have to act fast.

Is the bear ready?

Actually, yes.

Huh?

Huh?

It's working!

He thinks nurse leslie is a pine

Cone.

It's just like the circus!

[Laughing]

[Screaming]

[Snarling]

The jig is up, fellas.

He knows nurse leslie isn't a

Pine cone.

[Screaming]

He thinks he's a...

Sweater?

[Sniffing]

Deodorant.

[Thunder]

[Snarling]

An umbrella?

This bear has no clue what nurse

Leslie is.

[Snarling]

Ew!

Cotton swab?

Bears can't juggle!

Who's idea was this?!

[Snarling]

Nurse leslie,

We just wanted to give you a

Nice vacation.

But it almost seems like

Whatever we do makes things

Worse.

[Groaning]

Hold on.

[Screams]

Whoo.

Sounds like someone's got a

Boo-boo.

I have just the thing.

[Music playing]

Say!

That is one catchy bandage.

It sure is, raj.

Wait a minute.

You can hear it, too?

And we're not the only ones.

He's juggling everything!

Oh, he's caught the

Juggle bug all right.

Hmm!

Need a rest, raj?

[Laughing]

What are you talking about?

I am living my childhood dream!

What about you, nurse leslie?

How do you like your first

Vacation ever?

Make it stop!

Make it stop!

So, let's start the show off

With something that will really

Get your fur a-shaking.

Get ready to go cuckoo to

Some wild rock and roll music.











[Disco playing]

[Station changes channels]

["Jaws"-like music plays]

[Reveille plays]

Attention, campers,

Attention, campers--

It's time for "camp lazlo!"

♪ There were two scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪

We want a batter,

Not a broken ladder.

Try to hit that ball!

Do it.

[Grunts]

Ha ha.

Hit ball.

I got it!

I got it!

Back off, boneheads.

We got it!

We got it!

I got it!

I want to get it!

Don't forget me!

Me, me, me!

Me, me, me, me, me, me!

I want to get it!

Ha ha!

Wait for me!

[Sighs]

[Clamoring]

Oof!

[Needle scratches across record]

[Disco music playing]

What is it?

It's a giant jukebox!

I see you found camp kidney's

Old radio station.

Radio station?!

Wow!

Slinkman,

How come you never told us about

This?

Well, after disco died,

Things just weren't the same.

[Gasps]

Can we start up the radio

Station again, slinkman?!

Can we, can we, can we?!

Oh, I don't know.

Scoutmaster lumpus was always so

Annoyed with it.

Well, I guess if the equipment

Still works we--

What?!

What did you say?!

Ok!

Imagine, guys, our own radio

Station!

Kpny.

We can all take turns putting

On our very own radio shows!

I'm going to play classic

Rock.

I'm gonna play records!

How about you, ed?

I'm going to do a talk show.

What's a talk show?

It's where an intellectual

Like yours truly--

Oh, that sounds really

Boring.

Boring!

And cool!

Oh, it'll be cool.

In fact, it's gonna be the

Coolest show in camp.

Now, let's get the radio

Station on the air.

[Coughing]

Good...

Morning, campers!

Rise and shine with lazlo's

Get-up-and-go show.

♪ La la

La la la la ♪

[Rockabilly music playing]

Noise pollution is not cool.

Whoo-hoo!

Yeah!

Welcome aboard freddie's

Night train.

Now, I'm gonna open up the

Request lines.

[Bell rings]

Hello?

And what would you like to hear

Tonight?

Turn off that racket!

You're driving me crazy!

You got it, baby.

Here it is.

"Turn off that racket,

You're driving me crazy."

[Song begins]

♪ Turn off that racket

You're driving me crazy

Turn off that racket

You're driving me crazy ♪

♪ You're yap, yap, yapping

But you're not saying much

You're slippy, slappy, flapping

Think my music hurts

Like a train in my brain

That's the name of the game

Like a henhouse squawking

Or clyde horse talking

Come on now, baby... ♪

And now here's

Edward after dark...

The ed man?!

Salutations,

And welcome to edward after

Dark.

The first thing we're gonna do

Tonight is shut off this

c*ck music!

[Music stops]

There.

That's more like it.

Let's open up those phone lines.

Talk to me.

Do us all a favor,

Call me.

Good night.

What's the matter with you

People?

I said call me!

Somebody!

Anybody?!

[Rooster crows]

Talk to me.

Talk to me.

Talk to me.

[Bell rings]

Huh?!

[Kazoo toots]

[Horn honks]

What's that sound?!

What's that sound?!

Good...

Morning fellow campers!

Welcome to the raj show!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

How obnoxious.

Good luck, raj.

Uh-oh!

Here comes lumpus.

Hello, raj.

This is scoutmaster lumpus.

Watch out for that bana peel.

Oh!

My neck!

[Laughter]

Are you ok, scoutmaster?

[Laughter]

Uh-oh!

Do you like the raj show?

Out, out, out!

I love the raj show.

Gah!

What have they got that I don't

Got.

So I may not be the funniest,

Or popular.

I'd have to be eaten by yetis to

Get any attention around this

Place.

Now it's time once again

For edward after dark.

And thank you for that warm

Introduction.

You gotta love that bear, right?

Anyways,

I'd like to talk to you guys out

There about some very unusual

Events of late.

Well, that's unusual.

Looks like someone's coming up

To the station in person.

[Loud rapping]

Who is it?

Oh, my goodness!

It's a yeti!

[Snickers]

Folks, this station here is

Under attack.

Oh, no!

It appears that two yetis are

Here!

Aagh!

Yeti attack!

Run for your life, people!

[Humming]

[Panting]

Edward's being attacked

By a yeti!

Turn on your radio!

Leave me alone, you monsters!

[Roaring]

Take that!

And that!

Help!

They're gonna eat me!

No!

Put that--that--

Chainsaw!

Oh, no, you don't!

[Knocking]

[Needle scratches off]

Edward!

Are you ok?!

Oh, hey, guys.

Where are the yetis?

Oh, they went running for the

Hills.

They didn't want to tangle with

Me anymore.

So...

Did you like my show?

Like it?

That was--

The coolest show at

Camp kidney!

Ha!

[Clamoring]

Let's see if we can sit next

To him!

Edward, will you sign my

Omelet?

What did it look like?

It was big,

And it was hairy!

Did it have big scary teeth?

Sure did.

But if you think that's scares

Me, ha.

I'd take on an army of yetis.

Wow!

Hey, hey, everybody!

Next up: edward after dark!

Ok, make it snappy, guys.

Who's got questions?

I do!

Me, me!

I do!

Ok, you, with the tail.

Are you scared of being

Attacked by a yeti again?!

Uh...

Good question.

I'm horrified.

You're on, mr. Edward, sir!

Oh.

Uh, you look a little squeamish

There, buddy.

Why don't you take the night

Off.

In fact, all my fans should be

Home listening to me from the

Safety of their own cabins.

I've got it from here.

[Chuckles]

Hello again, all you fine little

People listening in the dark.

Hey!

Edward's in the magic box again!

Neat!

Now, last night, lazlo, raj,

And clam came down to the

Station to try to help me out.

But, campers,

That is far too dangerous.

So, no matter what I say,

Remember this:

Do not come down here.

You got that?

Don't put yourselves at risk.

I'm a proven warrior of the

Airwaves.

Who out there wants to talk to

The ed man?

[Bell rings]

That's a beautiful sound.

I love you too, sweetie.

Talk to me.

Uh...

Uh, ok.

Is this the ed man?

Nobody else but.

Oh.

Is there gonna be another yeti

Attack tonight?

'Cause I gotta get to sleep

Soon.

Let's just say stay tuned.

Hee hee hee.

You know, folks,

That's the great thing about

Camp kidney.

You can never tell.

But eddie's ready for the yeti.

Don't you worry, sammy.

I'm coming to you live, kids.

And I ain't afraid of nothing.

Ha ha.

[Growling]

Uh-oh.

Looks like we might have another

Visitor.

Wow!

Here comes another yeti!

You want a piece of me,

You yeti you?

[Bell rings]

Oops.

Another concerned camper.

Yes, hello.

Don't worry about--

[Roar]

What?

[Stammering]

Scoutmaster lumpus?

Was that you?

[Growling]

I thought I told you guys not

To come up here.

[Roaring]

Mother of mercy!

I'm being attacked by yetis!

He sounds a little different

Tonight, don't you think?

Ow!

This is not a drill!

I don't want to be a yeti lunch!

Someone's gotta help me!

Whew!

I am glad I'm not down there.

Sheesh!

We've gotta go down there.

Everybody!

To the radio station!

Edward needs help!

But didn't he say not to come

Down?

Aagh!

They're getting closer!

This isn't a stunt!

Call the coast guard!

[Sobbing]

Hey, guys!

Chip, skip, come on, you two.

We're gonna go watch edward

Getting eaten by yetis!

Cool!

Come on!

Hurry!

Save edward!

Save edward!

Where you going?

Radio station.

Save edward.

Want to watch edward get

Eaten by yetis?

It beats sitting here.

Help!

I lied about last night!

This is real now!

This has been edward...

[Sobs]

...after dark.

[Roar]

[Screams]

[Transmission stops]

Are we too late?

Yes, raj.

Can you put me down now?

Good-bye, edward.

Is this thing on?

Who's that?

Hello?

Testing, one, two, 3.

Indeed.

And welcome to our show.

It's about time we got

Something cool on the radio at

Night, and not that awful

Chatter.

Absolutely.

So, let's start the show off

With something that will really

Get your fur a-shaking.

Get ready to go cuckoo to

Some wild rock and roll music.

And this one goes out to the

Little platypus chap cowering in

The corner.

[Teeth chattering]

♪ Turn off that racket

You're driving me crazy ♪

I thought I told you to keep

It down!

Great djs, huh?!

Not now, lazlo.

Ok!

[Roaring]

Aagh!

So, let's start the show off

With something that will really

Get your fur a-shaking.

Get ready to go cuckoo to

Some wild rock and roll music.


[Disco playing]

[Station changes channels]

["Jaws"-like music plays]