03x11 - Valentine's Day/A Job Well Dung

[bunniefuu]

[Reveille plays]

Attention, campers,

Attention, campers--

It's time for "camp lazlo!"

♪ There were two scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪





Attention all campers,

Attention all campers:

Please report immediately to the

Flagpole to meet a special

Guest.

Well, nice talking to you

Guys.

We have to go meet a special

Guest.

Whoo!

Special guest!

Yes!

Oh.

I guess we're not special enough

For you.

So, who is this special guest

Anyway?

Hoo ha's daughter.

Hoo ha's daughter?

What?!

Is that even possible?

Here he comes!

Everyone stand at attention.

[Whistle toots]

All right, boys.

Let's make this quick!

I'd like you all to meet my

Precious daughter--who I refer

To as pumpkin--but none of you

Will ever call her pumpkin!

You will all refer to her under

My strict supervision as

Patsy smiles.

Lazlo,

What is going on?

I think patsy is hoo ha's

Daughter.

I don't see the family

Resemblance.

How's my chip off the old

Block?

I'm good!

That's good!

Good!

Ow!

[Grunting]

Ugh!

Ha ha ha ha!

I see it now.

I know what you're all asking

Yourselves: why did woo ha bring

His daughter here, hmm?

The answer is simple.

I have decided that she is of

Proper age to know what a boy

Is.

Daddy, I know what a boy--

Aah, aah, aah.

This, pumpkin, is a boy.

Hi, lazlo.

Ahem.

Hoo ha's your dad?

Duh.

No fraternizing with my

Pumpkin!

Fraternizing leads to liking.

And if a boy wants to like my

Pumpkin, and not just like--

I mean like like--

Who could say what I'd do!

But I don't have to worry about

That, do i?

Isn't that right?!

Psst.

Lazlo.

I made this for you.

Oh, thanks, patsy.

What is it?

Read it.

"I like you."

Wait, what?!

You heard your dad.

Liking is against the rules.

I don't care.

I want you to have it.

Ah ha!

That's funny,

'Cause I don't want it.

It's for you.

No, really--keep it.

Well, we better get going,

Pumpkin.

Daddy can't be late for his

Court-ordered anger management

Classes.

Oh, look.

You dropped something, pumpkin.

Something with words.

"I like you."

[Inhales sharply]

[Panting]

What is this?

Um...

It's a valentine, daddy.

Who gave you this--

This filth?!

Um, I wouldn't say that

Someone exactly gave it to me.

Oh, so they forced it on

You?!

No.

Well, what do we have here?

A regular casanova.

What's your name, casanova?!

Laz--

I don't care what your name

Is, casanova!

Did you give this to my

Daughter, cupid?!

It wasn't me, sir.

[Sniffing]

No.

It wasn't you.

So, which one of these beefcakes

Is it?

Go ahead, cupid.

Point him out.

But you don't understand.

Was it you, love trunks?!

No, sir.

It was not me.

Hmm.

Was it you, you little beaver

Duck?!

No, sir!

I would never.

Hmm!

What--

[Urinates]

Quiet, maggot!

Write, maggot!

Keep writing, maggots!

Is anyone else getting

Offended by this?

Come on!

What--why are we doing this

Again?

This handwriting test will

Tell me who wrote this.

I just have to match the test to

This card.

And then I can punish whoever

Did this for the rest of

Eternity.

All right, that's enough,

That's enough!

Now, turn them in!

Quickly, now.

Quickly, now!

Oh, h* h* h* h* h*!

Look at this, pumpkin.

The one on top is just as girly

As the valentine.

Oh, that was too easy.

Hold on!

This one's even girlier.

Girlier!

Girlier!

Girlier plus infinity!

You all write like girls!

I guess I'll have to use my more

Manly approach.

This can all stop right now,

Scouts.

Just confess

And we can all go back to having

Fun--things like jumping and

Skipping...

Pretty much anything that you

Would have a good time doing

You would be doing right now.

Well, since no one has decided

To spill the beans and there's

No more place in camp that needs

Cleaning, I have decided to move

On to my sure-fire test--

The old holding two buckets

Straight out until someone tells

Me what I want to know test.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

It's never failed.

My arms are starting to hurt.

You feel that, scouts?!

Lactic acid building up in those

Puny little muscles.

In a few minutes, your muscles

Will fall off,

And then where will you be,

Huh?!

Don't worry, pumpkin.

Daddy has everything under

Control.

Somebody just admit it

Already!

Ha ha.

Enough!

Watch out, pumpkin.

I've almost found him.

Daddy, they haven't done

Anything!

I wrote the valentine!

What?!

Finally!

You actually like one of

These--these bean scouts?!

[Whistle toots]

Which one is it?

I'm not telling you.

But, pumpkin,

How am I supposed to punish the

Boy if I don't know who he is?

He hasn't done anything

Wrong, daddy.

You may be able to punish

Someone for stealing a car or

Money, but you can't punish

Someone for stealing my heart.

Oh, yes, I can!

Just point him out and I'll

Prove it to you!

No.

[Growls]

[Yells]

[Grunting]

Ok.

You won't tell me.

But this boxing ring will.

You won't dare hit the one you

Like.

You first, butter-buns!

Aagh!

Do you really have to beat me

Up?!

Oh, sorry.

It's either this or that.

[Growling]

Ok, but...

Would you please not hit my good

Side?

[Grunts]

You're next, you beaver duck

Love boat!

Aagh!

Go easy, man.

Mommy?

Looks like you're the only

One left.

The logistics of logistical laws

Of logic says patsy wrote the

Valentine to you!

But because I'm fair and

We live in america, I'll give

You the benefit of the doubt.

Oof!

Uh...

Patsy,

Before you beat me up,

I want you to know that I'm ok

With you beating me up.

Lazlo, I don't--

It's ok.

I don't want you to get in

Trouble with your dad.

I accept my fate for you, patsy.

Do it.

Do it.

Get it over with.

[Shuddering]

I knew it was him all along.

It's punish time!

[Growling]

[Gasps]

Please, help me!

Make it more convincing!

That's too convincing.

Oh, but, pumpkin, I was sure

It was him.

No, daddy.

It wasn't him either.

Oh, then I must have missed

Somebody.

Round everyone up.

Let's do it again!

Wait, dad.

There's something I didn't tell

You.

I...

Ne...

Yes?!

[Stammering]

I made it for you, daddy.

For me?

The whole time?

Not for any of these crusty

Little boys?!

Ha ha ha ha.

Ah ha ha ha ha!

Chip off the old block!

Ha ha ha ha!

No, a chip off mine!

That's my girl!

Ha ha!

That's my dad!

My girl!

I got beat up so bad,

And I didn't even do anything!

I--ow.

Well, we didn't get beat up.

Yeah.

But that's because we're made

Of magic.

Yah, yah, yah, yah.

Yah-yah-yah-yah-yah-yah-yah!











[Yelling gibberish]

[Growling]

[Sniffing]

[Yelling]

[Wheezes]

[Reveille plays]

Attention, campers,

Attention, campers--

It's time for "camp lazlo!"

♪ There were two scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪

My old cabin could sure use

An upgrade.

♪ Da dum

Da dum

Dum ♪

Oh, the official scoutmaster

Upgrade?!

Well, yes, of course, I know I

Deserve it for keeping my camper

Enrollment quota for 3 years

Running, but...

[Knock on door]

What?!

[Sobbing]

Slinkman, why are they

Weeping?

Skip and chip's camp dues

Haven't been paid up in months.

I have no choice but to send

Them home to their 3 nannies.

It's scout regulations.

We love camp!

We don't want to go home!

Home?

Slinkman, we can't send them

Home!

If we do, it will ruin my high

Enrollment streak--

And I won't get my cabin

Upgrade!

Officially, the only way they

Can stay is if they have jobs

Here in camp to pay off what

They owe.

Yes, jobs!

Problem solved.

Chef mcmuesli, I'm assigning

Chip and skip here to work for

The mess hall.

Oh.

All righty then, boys.

Then let's get to work.

Here.

Put on these hair nets.

So, what I'd like you two to do

Is--

I saw a fire truck.

Greetings, sirs.

I'd like whatever delicacies the

Chefs are recommending this

Afternoon.

[Chuckles]

What do you recommend?

It needs something.

Hmm.

[Buzzing]

You're a genius.

Uh...

I'm not hungry any more.

Must throw up.

I'll take that!

[Munching]

[Retching]

Apparently working with food

Is too complicated for you two,

So you'll be working with

Medicine.

[Sobbing]

Are you hurt, scoutmaster?

[Sobbing]

...paper cut.

Where?

[Telephone rings]

Oh, there goes the phone.

You boys can bandage him up,

Right?

Huh?!

You'll be fine.

Nurse leslie speaking.

Look...

How many times do I have to tell

You mechanics what to do with my

Car?!

I'm gonna take you through it

Step by step for the last time.

Nurse leslie, we bandaged

Him.

What else should we do?

Step one: open the hood.

Open the hood.

Aagh!

Lift the engine.

Lift the engine.

Ow, ow!

Now remove and reattach the

Hose.

Aagh!

Aagh!

Get out.

Here you go, sir.

A nice sunset to help you relax.

[Grumbling]

Sunset.

Sunset!

I'll give you a sunset,

Doctor jerkyll!

Oh, well, I guess

That is pretty nice.

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Huh?!

Darn mountain!

Get out of the way, you big pile

Of dirt!

You're ruining my sunset.

Sir, we've run out of jobs

For these two.

Those two c*ck want a

Job?

Get them to move that mountain

That's blocking my sunset.

Sir, why don't you just move

Your chair?

"Why don't you just move your

Chair?!"

Flip and dip?!

Yeah?

Move that mountain!

Yes, sir!

Really.

All this for a cabin upgrade.

Hee hee hee hee.

[Grunting]

Hey!

Aagh!

Ow.

All right, you stink bags,

Welcome to your new cabin.

We've always wanted our very

Own cabin.

Yeah, thanks, mr. Lumpus.

You're so nice to us.

So, scoutmaster lumpus,

What's our next job?

Oh, right.

Why don't you keep a lookout for

Any stray oil tankers that might

Wander into the swimming area.

[Bell clangs]

♪ Cabin upgrade

Cabin upgrade

Cabin upgrade ♪

Huh?!

Oh, no.

That's hoo ha's jeep.

He wasn't due to inspect camp

For another month.

Slinkman, what's going on?

Commander hoo ha just stormed

In and commandeered your

Bedroom.

Well, I'll just have to

Commandeer your bedroom then,

Slinkman.

Commander hoo ha, are you all

Right?

What did you do?

I knocked down the

Wall separating you and

Mr. Slinkman's bedrooms.

Why?

I'm a big man, and I need a

Big room!

Lumpus, I'll be staying here

Indefinitely.

I decided I need a break from

The good life.

A man needs to rough it in a

Dump like this every once in a

While to keep his edge.

But...

But where will I sleep?

Ugh.

Slinkman,

Tell me what we're doing in the

Dung beetle's cabin?

These were the only two

Available beds, sir.

Beds?

I thought this was the latrine.

Things are moving and jumping in

My blanket.

Things aren't any better down

Here.

I got some mystery ooze dripping

On me.

How do you think I feel?!

I've gotta bunk with them.

Slinkman,

Why am I laying in this compost

Heap while that scout's bed is

All clean and warm and snuggly?

Well, sir, that's edward's

Bed--

Not any more.

I'm claiming it.

[Sobbing]

[Rooster crows]

Aagh!

Aagh!

How did I get out of bed?

The mold I was in must have

Migrated.

Slinkman?

Slinkman, are you in there?

Push, slinkman, push!

I see your head!

Keep pushing!

Here you come!

Oh, you're a boy!

Aagh.

Aagh, nyay, nyay, nyay, nyay.

And just look at him.

Sitting at my desk, chewing my

Gum.

[Growls]

I know why that blowhard bison

Is here, slinkman.

He wants to be the first to

Enjoy my new cabin upgrade.

"A man needs to rough it once in

A while!"

Blah, blah, blah, blah,

Blah, blah, blah, blah!

It just doesn't seem fair,

Sir.

With the dung beetles doing jobs

In camp, you've earned your

Enrollment record fair and

Square.

Slinkman, you're brilliant.

Thank you, sir.

Flip and dip, have I got a

Job for you.

Really?!

Wow!

Uh...

Where's chip?

Top bunk.

Oh, of course.

[Snoring]

[Fart]

Huh?!

Son, what are you doing?!

Oh, hi.

I'm skip,

Your live-in cabin help.

[Farts]

Phew!

Well, son, you stink!

And you're gonna follow me

Around all day?

I'm here to please.

It's working, slinkman.

I think you're right, sir.

Well...

I like it!

It's just the kind of roughing

It this old w*r buffalo needs.

Ha ha ha!

He likes cot stench.

That's bed foul, slinkman!

Hey, chip.

It's your shift.

What?

Who?

[Humming]

Good morning, skip.

Good morning.

I'm chip.

I am chip, you're little--

Yeah, yeah.

I heard it already.

So, what's the slop today?

Uh...

Slop a la chip.

What's in it?

Uh, let's see...

Sugar...

And that goop that fell out of

My armpit while I was frying it.

Son, I haven't had slop like

That since eating spoiled gopher

Guts in the trenches of tripoli!

Lumpus really knows how to live!

Sorry, scoutmaster lumpus.

Mr. Hoo ha still loves it here.

It's too late, chip.

Our cabin gunk finally got them.

I tried to stop it, but poor

Scoutmaster lumpus--we were only

Trying to do a good job!

[Sobbing]

It's time.

Time to summon all the

Creatures of the unclean.

For the sake of good old

Scoutmaster lumpus.

[Humming "battle hymn

Of the republic"]

Flip, dip?!

What's taking you so long?!

I need more soap!

My foam is losing its zest!

You ready?

Yep.

Scum twin powers activate!

Come on, guys!

What's going on out there?!

Toot!

Toot, toot, toot!

I love roughing it, but

Camp kidney is too rough.

Ugh!

Whoo!

Whoo!

"Lumpus,

Thank you for the room and

Board.

You and your camp kidney campers

Have truly redefined the concept

Of roughing it."

Ha ha ha!

That's right, hoo ha,

You tenderfoot!

That's what happens when you

Mess with the bull moose!

Uh, sir,

Shouldn't we get started on

Having your cabin de-scummed.

Not to worry, slugworth.

I'll be getting my cabin upgrade

Any day now.

Uh, what's in the box?

Oh, well, it's your new cabin

Upgrade, sir--

The official bean scout

Cup holder.

Very lovely, isn't it, sir?

Slinkman?

Yes, sir?

Why is this year's upgrade

Only a cup holder?

I told you they'd made some

Cutbacks this year.

They couldn't afford to do the

Big palace thing again.

You didn't mention that.

Oh, no, sir, I did.

Uh-uh.

Yah-huh, I distinctly

Remember--

Nope.

Did, too.

I--i did tell you that.

Slinkman!

[Yelling gibberish]

[Growling]

[Sniffing]

[Yelling]

[Wheezes]