03x13 - Scoop of the Century/Boxing Edward

[bunniefuu]

Attention, campers!

Attention, campers!

It's time for camp lazlo!

♪ There were 2 scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp and turned it

Upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪





[Humming]

Ha ha ha.

Oop!

What in bear's hind did I just

Step in?

Oh, the "weekly bean."

Perfect.

At least I'll put this no-good

Scout newspaper to some good

Use.

Probably just doubled their

Circulation.

Ha ha ha ha.

Stop the presses!

Stop the presses!

What's wrong?

We got ourselves a swell

Little typo, that's what's

Wrong.

There should be 3 exclamation

Points after "pop-quiz," not 2.

You stopped the presses

For that?

Will you guys keep it down?

Let's get these babies out

On the street.

Putting out the "weekly bean"

Is my favorite camp activity.

Oh, my!

It's still full.

Isn't anyone reading our paper?

Oh, boy!

The latest issue of the "weekly

Bean."

"How to deal with tetherball

Anxiety."

Wow!

This is really gonna help my

Game.

Lazlo, you read the "weekly

Bean"?

Every issue.

Do you do the trivia

Challenge?

Oh, I just love the trivia

Challenge!

Then how come you never send

In your answers?

Well, I figured I'd let

Someone else have a shot at

Winning.

Well, you don't have to

Worry about that because no one

Else reads it!

[Weeping]

Gosh, fellas, I'm sure we

Can figure out a way to

Increase your circulation.

You'd help us?

Sure!

I'm on friend patrol for

Another 5 hours.

The first thing we should do is

Change the name.

Change the name?

Well, sure.

Mix it up a little.

Maybe something a little edgy.

Something like...the "weekly

Melon."

No, that's not it.

[Gasps]

The "weekly blister."

Oh, the "weekly falafel"?

No, no.

"Weekly curdled milk."

"Weekly polyp."

No, wait a minute.

The "weekly wassail."

"Weekly wichita one-ha-ha."

No.

Wait a mo!

Ya-ha!

Uh-huh.

Mm-hmm.

There!

The bean?

All you did was cross out

"Weekly" and add an exclamation

Point.

Yeah.

Can you dig it, ping pong?

I'm dave.

Now all we need are some

Interesting stories.

Breakfast in the mess hall is

The perfect opportunity to do a

Little research.

I'll find out what stories

People want to read, while you

Two go out and find the scoop

Of the century!

Scoop of the century?

Eating breakfast, huh?

Y-yes.

Can I ask you a question?

[Gulp]

Sure.

How often do you read the

"Weekly bean"?

The "weekly bean"?

Ha ha.

The only time I'm happy to see

That rag is when I need to blow

My nose.

Ha ha ha!

[All laughing]

[Both gasp]

I think we just found the

Scoop of the century!

Sorry, fellas.

I didn't get any new insight

Into story ideas, but I did get

Some creative ideas on how to

Use the paper.

It's ok, lazlo.

We just found the scoop of the

Century.

Scoop of the century?

[Gasps]

Is this really true?

Every word of it!

This is the greatest story

Ever!

Get out of the way!

We're a success!

We're gonna run out.

And we're stacking up

Subscriptions for the next

Issue.

It's true, everyone!

It says so right here in the

"Bean."

I'm joyous and free!

What's all the hubbub about,

Slinkman?

It's the new "bean," sir.

You know, their scout newspaper?

Ha!

You mean that bird-cage liner

That nobody reads?

Well, I guess they're all

Reading it now, sir.

Apparently, they have the scoop

Of the century.

Ha ha!

The scoop of the century.

That's a laugh.

Unless it's a tribute issue to

Yours truly.

I don't think they'd write

How great you are if you're not

Allowed to read it, sir.

What do you mean, not allowed

To read it?

Only bean scouts are.

It's in the code.

Not allowed to read it?

"Why we hate lumpus"?

Why, you--give me that!

I want to know what those little

Weasels wrote about me.

I am marching right out there

And reading that paper.

Uh, sir, I wouldn't do that.

Get your paper here!

Scoop of the century right here

In the "bean!"

The "bean!"

All right, mr. Newsie,

Hand it over.

Hand what over?

You know what.

The newspaper.

Give it to me.

Come on.

5 Beads, please.

I thought it was free.

Not this issue.

The scoop of the century.

5 Beads.

I'll 5-bead you, you little--

Joyous and free!

Eddie, I need to borrow 5

Beads.

Here you go, you con artists.

Now give me the paper.

Come on!

I don't have all day.

Help!

Lumpus is trying to read the

"Bean!"

Come back here with my paper!

Help us! Help!

Give me that scoop of the

Century!

Ow!

I am gonna read that paper if

It's the last thing I do.

Yes?

Uh, yes.

I was wondering if you had any

Spare newspaper I could use for

The bottom of my bird cage.

The latest issue of the "bean,"

Perhaps.

Your bird isn't even alive.

Listen, scoutmaster, we're on

To you.

You're not allowed to read the

"Bean" unless you're a bean

Scout.

Oh, these ragtags are

Smarter than I thought.

I need to think of a new plan.

Here, have a bird.

And don't k*ll it.

[Crying]

And then he tried this phony

Bird cage.

Yes.

Lumpus tried to attack us.

Well, lumpus can't get his

Hands on the "bean."

Howdy, fellas.

How's it goin'?

I am a new bean scout here, and

My name is scooter.

Slinkman didn't say anything

About a new scout.

Oh, yes.

I am from a scout camp in, uh,

Bolivia, and we heard you had a

Really great newspaper here, so

I thought I would ask you for

The latest issue--you know, with

The scoop of the century?

Sure, friend.

Let me go get--

Where's bolivia?

Huddle!

I think this guy is trouble.

I think he's a spy trying to

Steal our scoop of the century.

Why are his knees in his

Shoes?

He has a foul stench!

Hey!

What's going on over there?

Break!

Listen, uh, scooter, is it?

You're a little funny-looking

For a bean scout.

Boy, is that ever the pot

Calling the kettle black!

I'm cute with a capital "k."

See the hair?

Well, we're just gonna have

To give you a few tests to see

If you're the real deal.

What sort of tests?

You know, just a few things

Every bean scout should know

How to do, like cleaning the

Latrines.

And of course, every bean scout

Knows how to do it with a

Toothbrush.

They do?

Even I'd get grossed out by

That job.

All right, ok.

I did everything on your

Stinking list!

I made name tags for all the

Campers nobody cares about...

Thanks, scooter!

I filled the lake with cream

Soda...

Burp!

Thank you, scooter.

And I dug a hole to china.

Here's your take-out, edward.

Now give me the "weekly bean."

You forgot the egg roll.

Aha!

I see what you're doing.

You don't think I'm a bean

Scout.

You're trying to break me until

I confess.

Ha ha ha!

Well, I'm a bean scout through

And through, mister!

Help!

Help!

My inflatable "puffy the pouffy

Pony" is loose and floating out

With the current!

Help!

Save puffy!

Scooter, I think the perfect

Last test for you would be to

Swim out and retrieve puffy the

Pouffy pony for um--uh--

Ted.

...for ted here.

That's all I have to do?

Get puffy the pimple-popper, or

Whatever he is, and then I can

Peruse the paper?

Edward?

Oh, all right.

I'll do it!

Hold on, puffy the pastry pony!

I'll save you!

And watch out for the--

Puffy.

Over here.

Gotcha!

I did it!

I can read the paper--

Aah!

Still no sign of scooter.

Oh, this was all wrong.

Everyone should be able to read

Any newspaper, even scooter.

Guys, look what washed up on

The beach.

This is all that's left of poor

Scooter.

I guess we'll need an

Obituary page now.

Scooterless!

All because of a dumb old

Newspaper.

Scooter!

Scooter, speak to me!

Can we get you anything?

"Weekly bean."

It's actually just called

The "bean" now.

Here you go, buddy.

You've earned it.

Yee hee!

Ha ha ha ha!

What is wrong with scooter?

I think you mean, "what's

Wrong with lumpus?"

Ha, you didn't see that coming,

Did you?

Ha ha ha ha!

♪ I've got the "bean"

Now I can read all of the nasty

Things you wrote about me in my

Hot little hand.

Aha!

Wait.

This can't be right.

"Local hamster builds giant

Toothbrush out of toothpicks"?

This is the scoop of the

Century?

This was the scoop of the

Century?

You should have seen it.

It was a beaut!

Do you still have it, samson?

Uh, no, because I had a

Bunch of corned beef stuck in

My teeth, you know, and it was

Real stringy and, you know, it

Just wanted to dangle there

And--

Are you all mad?

You're all raving lunatics!

You and your stupid paper!

This is what I think of this

Piece of garbage!

They're gonna skewer my brain,

And then they'll write about

It, huh?

Eh, I'm gonna go brush my teeth.

Do you think we should tell

Him whose toothbrush he used to

Clean the latrine?

A number.

What's your number?

413.

Ooh, that's a good number!

[Ring]

Now serving number 3.

Number 3?

Excuse me, what's your number

Again?

413.

[Ring]

Now serving number 4.

Aah!

Attention, campers!

Attention, campers!

It's time for camp lazlo!

♪ There were 2 scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp and turned it

Upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪





[Bugle call]

Fellow scouts, lazlo has an

Announcement to make.

We don't see lazlo anywhere.

One moment, please.

Camp kidney, it's time to

Celebrate...

Sunflower day!

Sunflower day!

[All cheering]

It was you!

You 3 are responsible for all

The flowers around camp!

You changed all the shower

Heads, the flag pole, and I

Don't even want to say what you

Did to slinkman.

Why would we want to celebrate

A stupid, ugly weed?

[All gasp]

A weed?!

Oh, edward, because

Sunflowers are happy, bright,

And nice, just like bean scouts.

Right.

Right.

Bean scouts aren't happy,

Bright, and nice.

We're bitter, dim, and crude.

We're nothing like the flower

Triplets.

Come on, am I right?

Huh?

Tsk tsk tsk.

Maybe this will help persuade

You.

Jellies, sunflower shuffle!

A-one, a-two, a-three.

Ta-da!

[Panting]

Well, I think I speak for

Everyone when I say that was

The--

Best thing we've ever seen!

Hooray for sunflower day!

Ooh!

Every day it's some new idiotic

Enterprise with these nitwit

Goobers!

Well, I've finally had it!

Game over!

That's it!

I'm out of here!

I've had enough lazlo.

I've had enough camp kidney.

I just want to see camp kidney

In my rear-view mirror, that's

All.

[Tires squeal]

Hold it.

Edward, you know you're not

Supposed to drive the cabins

Out of camp.

Fine!

You park it.

I made it!

I'm out of camp!

Now, my pretties, fly, fly.

Ha ha ha!

Free!

Free!

I'm free!

Bean scout!

I hate bean scouts.

They're bitter, dim, and crude!

Stupid mail truck!

I'll never make it out of this

Camp.

Wait, wait!

Ok, go ahead.

That's it.

Mail goes out; doesn't come

Back in.

I'll mail myself out of camp!

Edward, this is by far the

Greatest idea you've ever had.

What?!

Out to lunch?

Hey, samson, you're not out to

Lunch.

Let's go!

I want some service.

Samson!

One moment, please.

Welcome to the camp kidney post

Office.

What can we do for you today?

Listen, I want a--

One minute.

You have to take a number.

What's your number?

413.

412?

Anybody with 412?

412, Hello!

Anybody?

They're not here.

Hmm.

All right, then.

Last call for 412!

Maybe I should wait.

Aah!

For the love of lumpus, press

The bell already!

412 Going once,

Going twice,

And...here...we...

Go.

412!

That's my number!

Oh, that was close!

I got a ton more boxes outside,

All sunflowers.

How about giving me a hand with

Them?

What you say, scout?

Thank you.

Come again.

One moment.

Wait till I'm behind the

Counter.

May I help you?

Yeah.

I want to mail myself out of

Here!

Very well.

Step back here and onto the

Scale.

Where to?

Anywhere but here.

Now all you need is a stamp.

All right.

Sell me a stamp.

I can't.

Lazlo and the jellies bought

All the stamps this morning.

Why don't you ask them?

There's no way I'm gonna ask

Those cream puffs.

I got to have a stamp somewhere.

Where is it?

Where is it?!

I know my brother sent me a

Letter with a stamp on it.

There it is!

I'm sorry, you don't have

Enough postage.

You're too...heavy.

How about now?

Nope.

Still too heavy.

Ok, fine.

I'll get some more stamps.

I see you still got that

Rash.

Why, yes.

As a matter of fact, I do have

Some stamps.

I'm using them to write letters

To my grandma.

Do you really think that's

Such a good idea?

What do you mean?

Well, if your grandmother is

Anything like my grandmother,

Her eyesight is probably not

What it used to be.

She has a hard time focusing on

The small print of a

Handwritten letter.

It reminds her that she's not

That young anymore.

[Whimpering]

Poor nana!

Onk!

What was I thinking?

I'll never write her another

Letter again!

[Wailing]

Tell you what,

For your grandmother's sake,

I'll take those stamps off your

Hands by buying them.

Really?

What do you want them for?

I'm mailing myself out of

Camp.

Great idea!

Tell you what, I'll give you

These stamps for free if I can

Come along with you.

I want to mail myself to nana.

Nope.

Still not enough.

Look, you're gonna need a lot

More stamps.

Make it snappy.

Na's not getting any younger.

So that's the deal.

You trade all your postage

Stamps for all my remaining

Worldly goods.

That doesn't sound like a

Good deal.

It sounds like a bad deal.

It's just a pile of junk.

Crummy?

Junk?

Fellow bean scouts, what is it

You want from me?

Blood?

Is that what you want?

Blood?!

We heard what you were doing.

We want to get mailed, too.

We'll trade you all of our

Stamps to go with you.

I'm gonna need a bigger box.

Well, are there enough

Stamps on this box now?

I'd be lying if I said yes.

Every stamp except for the

Sunflower sorority.

Sunflower, sunflower,

Straight and tall,

Sunflower, sunflower,

Tallest of them all.

Sunflower, sunflower...

Hey there, jelly cabin.

Hi!

Hey, eddie.

You're just in time to tell us

Why you love sunflowers so much.

Listen, I just came here for

Your postage stamps.

You can have them.

But first, you got to

Testify about sunflowers.

No way!

Maybe he doesn't want our

Stamps.

Huh?

No, I do, I do.

Can't believe I'm doing this.

I love sunflowers because

They're happy, bright, and nice,

Like...bean...scouts.

That's pretty corny.

Hackneyed.

Aah!

Forget this!

Just give me your postage

Stamps!

Sure, edward, help yourself.

We're all finished with them.

We just like licking them.

Taste sweet.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Your new stamps won't stick.

Of course not, we licked off

All the glue.

Grr!

What are you doing here?

Why is everybody in a box?

We're all gonna travel.

Trot the globe.

Through the postal service.

We've got wanderlust.

We've got wanderlust, too.

Vagabonds.

Oh, no.

There's no way you're coming

With me.

I've already got all your

Stamps.

They won't stick.

You've got nothing I'd want

To trade!

Got glue.

Oh, ok.

Everybody scooch down so I can

Seal the box.

Hey, I just thought of

Something.

Now I'll be the only bean scout

Left in camp.

Just me.

Alone.

That's it!

We're all sealed in.

I'm so excited to be leaving

This place that I don't even

Care that I'm surrounded by all

You losers.

What's happening?

We're moving!

We've been picked up by the

Mail truck.

It won't be long now.

I'll be far away from camp

Kidney, far away from all the

Idiots.

I wonder what exotic land I'll

End up in.

Lithuania.

Jakarta.

Argentina.

Candy land.

Hey, we've stopped.

We're here!

Get your foot out of my

Face, and open the box!

Where are we?

Where are we?

We're in--we're in--oh, no!

Acorn flats sunflower fields!

Yay!

Sunflower, sunflower, straight

And tall...

What happened?

Isn't it obvious?

You only had enough postage to

Get you one mile.

Wait for me!

Sunflower, sunflower, tallest

Of them all.

Are those bean scouts in our

Sunflower field?

Uh-oh!

I hate bean scouts.

They're bitter, dim, and crude.

[Punches landing]

[Screaming]

A number.

What's your number?

413.

Ooh, that's a good number!

[Ring]

Now serving number 3.

Number 3?

Excuse me, what's your number

Again?

413.

[Ring]

Now serving number 4.

Aah!