05x04 - Bad Luck Be a Camper Tonight/Step Clam

[bunniefuu]

Attention, campers.

It's time for camp lazlo.

♪ There were two scouts who

Made a friend ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L ♪

♪ A ♪

♪ Z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ And then that trio went to

Camp ♪

♪ And turned it upside down-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

Chip: l-a-z-l-o.

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ Yo-de-lay-ee ♪

[ Glass breaking ]

Lazlo: [ whistling ]

Morning, harold!

Chip, skip.

Beautiful day, ed-man!

Edward: darn it, lazlo.

Why are you so lucky?

Lazlo: lucky...

Me?

I don't believe in luck.

[ Thunder crashes ]

Good morning, every--

Whoa!

What happened to samson?

You know that freak paper-cut

Accident he had at the

Post office yesterday?

Lazlo: don't tell me he's

Allergic to paper.

Uh-huh.

Talk about bad luck.

[ Smack! ]

Well, I can't stop the

Volleyballs...

But this will take care of his

Paper allergy.

Whoops!

Paper shreds?

Someone's mis-labeled the

Paper-allergy medicine.

Youare unlucky.

[ Whistle! ]

[ Splat! ]

[ Wheels squeaking ]

[ Wearily ] la-zlo?

[ Boing! ]

I just can't seem to catch a

Break.

[ Smack! ]

Lazlo: how can I help you?

So much to do...

The mail room...

Lazlo: I'll take over your

Schedule for you.

I'll just be you for a day.

How hard could that be?

[ Hinges creak ]

[ Thunder crashes ]

Can I help you?

I need to mail some

Letters...

[ Creak! Thud! ]

But I can't lick the envelopes.

[ Tongue clicks ]

Lazlo: [ groaning ]

[ Smack! ]

Thanks!

Lazlo: you're welco--

Arghahh...

[ Creak! ]

[ Smack! ]

[ Whip! Whip! ]

[ Thud ]

[ Engine turns over ]

[ Tires squeal ]

Edward: I thought you were

Sick.

I was, but the confetti cured

My paper allergy.

And the volleyballs just...

Stopped.

Nurse leslie called it a

"Medical miracle."

Edward: speakin' of medical

Miracles...

My lunch just had a baby.

Don't eat that, samson.

Don't you read the papers?

The healthiest food for hamsters

Is junk!

How 'bout that?

Huh.

How about that?

Edward: hey.

I thought you were a guinea pig.

Yeah!

How lucky isthat?

Edward: oh, samson, I have to

Scrub the latrines later.

But if you give me your lunch,

You can scrub it for me!

Ha!

Yeah, right!

Edward: no, that's a real

Offer.

Deal!

...and since I was the 1,000th

Camper to clean the latrines, I

Get my own personal janitor!

[ "Hail to the chief" plays ]

It's a promotional thing the

Latrine's doing.

[ Knock on door ]

Special package for samson.

Ooh!

I am onfire today!

[ Hinges creak ]

Oh, boy!

It's from antarctica!

What could it be?

[ Pop! ]

[ Plop! ]

[ Bells jingle ]

[ Thud ]

[ Trickle! ]

Oh, hi, lazlo.

Lazlo: feeling better,

Samson?

[ Chuckles ]

Are you kidding?

Since you took over my schedule,

Everything'sbetter!

Lazlo: that's great!

So now you can take your

Schedule back.

Take it...back?

Okay.

All good things must end, i...

Guess...

[ Trickle! ]

Lazlo: thanks.

It's not easy being you.

Tell me about it.

[ Zip! ]

[ Crash! ]

Lazlo: that's never

Happened before.

This isn't about schedules.

I've gothis luck, and he's got

Mine.

Somebody up there must like

You...

Andhate him.

The scoutmaster in the sky!

He finally made things right!

[ Angelic singing ]

[ Harp plays ]

[ Rooster crows ]

Lazlo: good morning.

Raj: where are you going?

Lazlo: out.

Raj: you've had terrible luck

Lately.

Are you sure you want to do

That?

Lazlo: it's not about luck,

Fellas.

It's about attitude.

[ Hinges creak ]

And today's gonna be a great --

[ Thunder crashes ]

Today's gonna be a --

[ Thunder crashes ]

Hey, does lightning ever strike

The same spot --

[ Thunder crashes ]

Tell me more about that...

"Luck" thing.

[ Patter! Patter! ]

Wait!

Idon't have bad luck!

I just hit a rough patch, that's

All.

See?

Look!

I found a rabbit's foot.

[ Growls ]

[ Poink! ]

[ Ratchet! ]

Lazlo: well, that wasn't so

Ba--

[ Squish! ]

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

That's never happened before.

Oh, no harm done.

Yes.

The monkey broke our fall.

Bit of luck, that.

[ Whoosh! ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Slam! ]

Afternoon, everybody.

Am I theonly one who saw that

Rainbow this morning?

[ Campers murmuring ]

The one withthis at the end

Of it?

[ Irish music plays ]

Edward: what's in it?

Oh, what every weary fortune

Seeker wants...

Antibacterial towelettes!

[ Campers talking excitedly ]

Who wants a soda?

Are you kidding?

That thing hasn't worked in

Years.

Mcmuesli filled it with

Cement.

Oh, really?

[ Zip! ]

[ Zip! Zip! ]

[ Zip! Zip! Zip! ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Sad music plays ]

[ Laughter ]

Lazlo: listen up, people.

[ Goat bleats ]

I've had some bad luck lately.

Oh, no.

No, really?

No, no, no.

Lazlo: I'm gonna go ask the

Scoutmaster in the sky for my

Old luck back.

[ Squeak! ]

If someone could let

Mr. Slinkman know, that'd be

Great.

But if the scoutmaster in

The sky gives lazlo his old luck

Back, won't I get my bad luck

Back?

[ Droop! ]

[ Elevator bell dings ]

I'm coming with you.

No one's ever seen smits before.

You may need someone to vouch

For you or...

Somethin'.

Lazlo: thanks, buddy.

[ Bell dings ]

[ Rumbling ]

[ Bell dinging ]

[ Muzak plays ]

[ Elevator stops, doors open ]

[ Creak! Creak! Creak! ]

[ Bell dings ]

[ Creak! Creak! Creak! ]

[ Doors close, elevator whirs ]

[ Elevator stops, bell dings ]

[ Creak! Creak! Creak! ]

[ Doors close ]

[ Bell dinging ]

[ Harp plays ]

Both: wo-w.

It's...it's...

So beautiful!

[ Click ]

Who dares disturb my

Nappy-time?

Lazlo: oh, great scoutmaster

In the sky, it is your humble

Servant lazlo come to ask for...

C-could you dim that light?

Sorry.

[ Click, music stops ]

Oh, right -- lazlo.

You said you'd be samson for a

Day, so I gave you samson's

Luck.

And I gave samsonyour luck

'Cause, well...

I felt sorry for him.

Guess I forgot to switch your

Luck back.

It'll only take a second.

Wait, wait, wait!

Do ihave to get my old luck

Back?

Lazlo: yeah.

That doesn't seem fair.

Can't samson stay lucky, like

Me?

Sorry. No can do.

You see, every bean scout that's

Ever been born gets to determine

Their luck for life.

[ Slot machine dings ]

[ Buzzer ]

[ Buzzer ]

[ Buzzer ]

But samson was special.

[ Grunts ]

[ Buzzer ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Buzzer ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Buzzer ]

[ Whistle blows ]

And I had to call security.

[ Crying ]

Lazlo was next, and thanks to

Samson, that machine was ready

For a jackpot.

[ Bells ding ]

Lazlo: wheee!

[ Laughing ]

Well, that explains a lot.

Lazlo: can't samson have one

More chance?

Plea-se?!

Well, I don't normally do

This.

[ Thud ]

[ Ding! ]

But okay.

You get one more try.

[ Murmuring prayers ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Bells dinging ]

Ahhh!

[ Screaming ]

Yeah, baby!

Double or nothin'!

Double or nothin'!

[ Buzzer ]

[ Buzzer ]

[ Buzzer ]

[ Whistle! ]

[ Smack! ]

Wh-oa!

Wh-oa!

[ Grunts ]

Waah!

[ Thud ]

[ Growling ]

[ High-pitched humming ]

Heh heh.

Sorry.

[ Zap! ]

Lazlo: [ whistling ]

Good morning, samson!

Good morning, lazlo!

Lazlo: how are you feeling

Today?

Terr-ific!

It feels good to be back to my

Old self again.

Bad luck's not so bad if you've

Got good friends.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Whistle! ]

[ Splat! ]

Yep.

Just like old times.

[ Chuckles ]

Gs ]

[ Muzak plays ]

Attention, campers.

It's time for camp lazlo.

♪ There were two scouts who

Made a friend ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L ♪

♪ A ♪

♪ Z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ And then that trio went to

Camp ♪

♪ And turned it upside down-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

Chip: l-a-z-l-o.

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ Yo-de-lay-ee ♪

[ Glass breaking ]

Lazlo: ah-oooohmm.

Clam: ah-oohmm.

Raj: ah-oooohmm.

Lazlo: ah-oooohmm.

Clam and raj: ah-oohmm.

Lazlo: ah-oooohmm.

Clam and raj: ah-oohmm.

Raj: lazlo...

Lazlo: ah-oooohmm.

What, raj?

Ah-oooohmmm.

Raj: I don't feel anything.

Lazlo: wait for it.

Ah-oooohmm.

Raj: what am I supposed to be

Feeling, anyway?

Lazlo: total harmonic

Convergence between self and

Nature.

Ah-oooohmm.

Raj: aahhooo--

[ Poink! ]

Argh!

Does harmonic convergence have

To be while wearingonly my

Underwear?

Because I am not enjoying being

A mosquito buffet.

Lazlo: no, raj.

You and clam can retrieve your

Wardrobes, if you like.

[ Whoosh! ]

Clam: hey!

Edward: hey, jellies.

Are you using these?

Because we need something to

Test out our new

Rocket-propulsion system.

[ Zip! ]

Clam: [ gasps ]

Edward!

Lazlo: bummer.

Clam just had his neckerchief

Waxed.

Clam: neckerchief!

Neckerchief!

Neckerchief!

Ne-cker-chief!

Gretchen?

Gre-tchen!

Look, amandine, I already

Told you -- the

Wingnut sisterhood club is

Anexclusive club!

Uhh...

What makes it exclusive?

What do ya got?

Well, um...

Oh!

I can spot a mouse from 3 miles

And can write with both hands!

Then we're exclusive of

Ambidextrous birds of prey.

Now, scram!

[ Door slams ]

[ Honk! ]

So, where were we?

[ Laughing ]

Oh, yeah, laughing about all the

Dumb things our younger siblings

Do...

Like the time my baby sister

Tried to chew the propeller off

A shrimp boat!

[ Laughing ]

Or the time my little brother

Tried to attack a snake and

Swallowed the garden hose!

My little sister dyed her

Beehive with shoe polish!

[ Laughter ]

Oh, yeah, thosecrazy sibs.

[ Chuckles nervously ]

What about you, nina?

What crazy things hasyour

Younger sib done?

Umm...heh.

Oh, well...let's see...

Umm...

Well, there was that time he,

Umm, when there was...

[ Laughs nervously ]

So...yeah.

You do have a sibling, don't

You, nina?

[ Giggling nervously ]

Course I do.

Her name -- i, uh...his, uh...

His name --

[ Gasps ]

You're an only child!

No, no. Wait, wait, I --

Let me guess.

Your parents took one look at

You and decided to stop before

It got any worse!

[ Laughter ]

[ Sobbing ]

No, I'm not!

I'm not an only child!

[ Crying ]

Clam: [ grunting ]

[ Thud ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Thud ]

[ Sobbing ]

[ Clang! ]

Clam: you okay?

[ Whimpering ]

Hi, clam.

Yeah, I'll be okay.

Thanks.

What are you doing way out here?

Clam: stupid edward.

Catapult clothes in tree.

Huh?

Well, I could help you get

Those.

[ Ratchet! ]

[ Clank! Clank! Clank! ]

Clam: thanks, nina!

You're very welcome, clam.

Clam: teamwork!

We do work very well

Together, clam.

Shucks, we could almost be...

Related.

Clam: anything clam can do

For nina?

Well...

Actually...

Maybe thereis one thing.

Little brother?!

That's right.

Clam's my little brother.

Clam: hey.

That bean runt -- fromyour

Gene pool?

I know it's shocking, which

Is why I -- I mean -- heh --

We'vechosen to keep it quiet

Up till now.

You buyin' it?

Sounds too weird to me.

Do you believe her?

I don't like the looks of it.

Aha!

Well, the wingnut sisterhood

Requests that you prove it.

[ Squeak! Squeak! ]

A-all right.

Clam, we'll ask the universe

Board.

Oohhmmm...

Oh, universe board, who is my

Little brother?

Clam: oohhmm...

Both: c-l-a-m! Clam!

There, see?

The universe board says so.

No way!

Gosh, nina, I guess you do

Have a younger sibling.

The wingnut sisterhood stands

Corrected.

Say, nina, do you think your

Little bro can hang out with us?

Yeah!

We can make him a junior

Wingnut!

You can rage with us!

We're totally nuts!

Well...

Sure.

I guess it would be okay.

[ Twang! Poink! ]

[ Sproing! ]

Clam: [ laughs ]

[ Laughter ]

All: go! Go! Go! Go!

[ Boing! ]

Both: whee!

Ha ha!

Heh heh haa!

Ee!

Ha ha!

All: go! Go!

[ Motor whirring ]

[ All cheering ]

Both: wheeee!

All: go! Go! Go!

[ Boing! ]

Both: aaaah!

[ Giggling ]

Whee!

Clam: whoo-hoo!

[ Turbines whirring ]

[ Zoom! ]

Both: aaah!

[ Laughter ]

Oh, nina.

This is the most fun the

Wingnuts have ever had!

Thanks to your little bro.

The only question now is

What to do next.

Yeah, that was a lot of

Wingnut fun.

It'll be hard to top that.

I know!

What are little brothers best at

Doing?

All: pra-nks!

[ Singsong voice ] coming!

[ Laughs ]

Hello?

Who's there?

Clam: fish-face says, "what."

What?

[ Laughter ]

Clam: fish-face says, "what."

What?!

[ Laughter ]

Clam: fish-face says, "what."

Fish-face says, "what."

Fish-face says, "what."

[ Laughs ]

Nyah-nyah!

Oh, what is going on?

Who is that?

[ Laughter ]

Clam.

What is the meaning of this,

Huh?

Why do I get the feeling someone

Put you up to this?

Hmm.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Just as I thought.

This has "wingnut shenanigans"

Written all over it.

It was nina, miss doe.

She put her brother up to it!

Brother?

Who, clam?

Oh, nina's little brother?!

That's impossible.

Nina's an only child.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Where would you get an idea like

That?

[ Wailing ]

[ Sobbing ]

Why is it that every time a

Camper gets upset, they run into

The woods?

Dunno.

Clam: uh-oh! Nina!

What a couple of weirdos.

I mean, what kind of wingnut

Lies about having a little

Brother?

What a chump.

[ Wailing ]

Clam: nina, wait!

[ Sobbing hysterically ]

[ Clang! ]

Clam: oh...

Nina.

I'm sorry, clam.

I didn't mean to get you in

Trouble.

Clam: that's okay.

I guess I'm just not wingnut

Material.

What's the big deal about

Being a wingnut, anyway?

Miss doe?

Never got that whole thing

Back when I was a

Squirrel scout.

You used to be a wingnut?

>>Used to be.

Oh, oh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

Edward: easy.

Easy, now.

That's it, that's it.

There!

[ Laughs ]

We got a perfect shot of those

Stupid squirrel scouts.

Just wait till we give 'em a

Taste of their own melon a*mo

For a change.

Chip: [ munching ]

Mmm!

Edward: chip!

Chip: huh?

Beans at 3:00.

Mm-hmm.

Just as I suspected.

[ Radio chatter ]

I read you, beanstalks.

Just located target.

Mm-hmm.

Just like you said.

[ Indistinct radio chatter ]

Copy that.

Wait for my signal.

Nutcracker, out.

You know, nina, I told a fib

Much like yours inmy wingnut

Years.

I'm an only child, too.

[ Indistinct radio chatter ]

I guess the show has started.

Edward: ready...

Aim...

Fire!

[ Zip! ]

[ Splat! ]

[ All screaming ]

[ Laughs ]

Look at 'em squirm.

Oh, yes!

I just love watching the

Wingnuts get walloped!

Clam: not fair!

Why let edward win?

Yeah!

Those beans catapulted clam's

Clothes!

That's not fair, either.

Oh, my dear clam.

Beans should never win, either.

Why give them satisfaction?

Nutcracker to beanstalks.

Are you ready to slime the

Target?

Beanstalks to nutcracker.

Ready to slime.

Slimes away!

[ Laughing ]

[ All screaming ]

Skip: I've been turned to

Goo!

Edward: why is it that every

Time we try to pull an ambush,

Someone keeps sellin' us out?!

Beanstalks to nutcracker.

Target has been slimed.

Repeat -- target slimed.

Roger, beanstalks.

Return to base.

Over.

Clam: [ laughs ]

Hiya, nutcracker.

Nice shootin', beanstalks.

You mean --

Yep.

I asked beanstalks here to

Pretend to bemy little bro...

Ooh -- a long time ago.

[ Chuckling ] oh, janie.

You boring the children with

That story again?

Hey, thanks for the tip on

Edward.

Are you kidding?

I love making those bean twerps

Squirm.

[ Giggling ]

See, nina?

Sometimes friendship is just

Like family.

Even better.

Okay, who wants popcorn?!

All right!

Clam: me! Me! Me!

Both: ah-oohmm.

Raj: wait a minute!

I feel it!

I-i think I feel it!

I feel harmonic convergence!

Yes!

Yes!

I feel it now, lazlo!

Bummer.

Gs ]

[ Muzak plays ]