01x22 - Lucy's Safari

[bunniefuu]

[announcer] Here's Lucy,

starring Lucille Ball.

Co-Starring Gale Gordon,

Lucie Arnaz and Desi Arnaz, Jr.

Oh, yes, Dr. Zurich.

Yes. Yes.

I just got the picture from the
zoo of the missing animal, yes.

Don't you worry, sir. We'll
find the right man for the job.

Yes.

Yes, I'll come right down there
and make the financial arrangements.

All right, doctor. Goodbye.

Good morning, Harry.
I'm sorry I'm late.

Harry?

I'm over here.

Who's that?

That's a gorbuna.

A gorbuna?

Yes. It's a very rare animal that
escaped from the Topanga Zoo last night.

Oh.

Now look, I want you to bring me our entire
file on professional big game hunters.

- Big game hunters.
- Yes.

Is that under B or G?

- It's under H.
- H?

- Hunters. Hunters.
- Oh.

I never heard of a gorbuna.

Yeah, well, it's a cross
between a gorilla and a baboon.

- Really?
- It's very rare.

It's almost extinct.

And the zoo wants it
recaptured and returned alive.

Here is our entire file on
professional big game hunters.

Just-Just one?

Yeah, and his name
is Stanley Livingston.

Well, that sounds like
the right name for the job.

He looks the part, too.

Gee, it's been a long time since
I've seen such an attractive man.

There's no picture there.

How can you tell whether
he's attractive or not?

Because it says he's


dark hair, blue eyes and single.

Well, I don't care
what he looks like.

- See if you can get him at home. Please.
- Oh, yes, sir. I'll go right over.

Get him on the phone!

Oh.

I could be over there
and back inside of an hour.

Just get him on the phone.

You and your hour. Oh.

Oh.

Mr. Livingston, I presume.

Quite.

I'm here to see Mr. Carter.

Oh, yes. Yes, Mr. Carter
will be back any moment.

- Won't you come in, please?
- Well, thank you Miss-?

Carter, Mrs. Carter.

Oh, then you must
be Mr. Carter's wife.

Oh, no, no. He's
my brother-in-law.

- I just work for him.
- Oh.

Yes, after all, a woman must do something
when she has two children to raise

and now happens to be single.

That's very interesting.

That I'm single?

- That you have two children.
- Oh.

How old are they?

What?

How old are they?

- Well, they're 15 and 16.
- Oh.

But they don't look it.

Here they are.

Oh, well then, fine and
wholesome-looking youngsters.

Thank you.

Kind of a family I'd
always hoped I'd have.

Oh, really?

I noticed, Mr. Livingston, by your
application card that you're single.

Yes. I'm still a bachelor.

It's hard to imagine how a man
like you can remain a bachelor.

Well, I'm afraid that the years
that I've spent in Africa have

soured me on the
women of our civilization.

Oh, how is that?

Well, most women today
are such clinging vines,

so pampered and spoiled.

I prefer a woman like
Rachel Weatherby.

Who's Rachel Weatherby?

A missionary's daughter that
worked for me in my safaris in Africa.

Oh.

Rachel had the
strength of ten men.

She could carry supplies,
chop wood for the campfire,

skin and quarter a buffalo.

Skin and quarter a buffalo?

Boy, she must have
been built like an Amazon.

No, on the contrary,
she was most feminine.

Rachel was as beautiful
as she was strong.

Well, she does sound a lot
like me. I'm the outdoor type.

I'm very strong.

Oh, would you
care to sit down, sir?

Thank you.

Perhaps you'd
like to stretch out?

Oh, no, no. Thank you.
I'm perfectly comfortable.

Mr. Carter ought to
be back any minute.

I think he just went
over to - Oh, here he is.

Harry, our big
game hunter is here.

- I'd like you to
meet Mister - - Sit, sit.

Mr. Livingston, I presume?

I already said that, Harry.

How do you do, Mr. Carter.

How do you do, sir.

Please. Sit down. Sit down.
We'll get right to business.

Now, here's the deal.

The zoo has offered a
$10,000.00 reward if you

can get the gorbuna
and bring it back alive.

- Splendid.
- Yes.

Now, he was last seen in
the wilds of Topanga Canyon.

Mm-hmm.

Now, you have got
to start right away.

Now, just a moment.

A safari like this is not
a one-man operation.

I'll need another man to
help me track the animal,

someone who has
had hunting experience.

But you're the only professional
hunter we have in our files.

It doesn't have to
be a professional.

It could be some hunter who is
interested in sharing in the reward.

Sharing in the reward? In
the -sharing in the reward.

Oh, my dear, sir. Please,
will you observe here.

Look, I've done considerable
hunting myself, as you can see.

Oh, yes. They're fine specimens.

Oh, yes. That was a-Old
jumbo stuck his foot in it, too.

He was gone in one shot.

It'd be nice to have a man
of your experience along.

Oh, good. Thank
you, sir. Thank you.

Now, also, I'm going to need
a couple of brush beaters.

Brush beaters?

What are they?

Brush beaters are people of use to
help bring the animal out into the open.

Now, they do this by moving
about in a continuous frenzy,

screaming, carrying on and
yelling like crazy savages.

- Oh, I have two of those.
- Brush beaters?

Teenagers.

Oh, yes. Your children.

Yes, well an adventure like this might
be an interesting experience for them.

Oh, they'd love it.
They'd just love it.

But of course I couldn't let
them go. It's too dangerous.

Oh, Mrs. Carter, a gorbuna has never
been known to harm a human being.

Oh.

Well, in that case then, and
with you along to protect them,

I don't see why they
couldn't go with us.

With us?

Well, yes, Mr. Livingston's gonna
need someone to carry the supplies

and chop the wood for the campfire
and skin and quarter the buffalo.

What buffalo?

How should I know?
I'm new on the job.

When do we leave, sir?

Now, I appreciate your offering
your services, Mrs. Carter, but

I'm afraid that running
a camp is a man's job.

Well, Rachel did it.

Who is Rachel?

A buffalo skinner that
he was stuck on in Africa.

Oh, please, Mr. Livingston,
please let me go. I'm very strong.

You know, back home I
used to work for a blacksmith.

What were you doing
working for a blacksmith?

I used to hand him the horses.

Please, Mr. Livingston.
Please say I can go.

All right. I'll give
you a chance.

Thank you.

Who knows, maybe I've
found another Rachel.

Oh, you'd better believe it.

Seen any tracks?

Yes, yes. I have, I have.

Here are one, two, three -

Those are mine.

Beastly hot.

Beastly hot.

- Mr. Livingston?
- Yes.

You want Kim and me to go up
ahead and see if we can see anything?

No, you might get lost.

- Better stay in a group.
- All right.

- Mr. Livingston?
- Hmm?

Where's mother?

Oh, loitering, as usual.

Hurry it up! Oh.

I think we'd better
stop and rest.

No, I'm not tired.
I'm not tired.

Good show.

Thank you, bwana.

- Ah-ha, look at this.
- What? What? What?

- The gorbuna has been through here.
- How can you tell?

- Gorbunas, they feed on birch nuts.
- Birch nuts.

And when they can't reach them

they chew the tree in half
with their powerful jaws.

Chew with the pow-

- I think he went that way.
- Oh, well, I'm going this way.

Wait a minute, Uncle Harry.

Do you want that gorbuna
to think that you're chicken?

No, and I don't want him to think
that I'm a chicken dinner, either.

- Oh, Harry.
- Well.

Now, before we track him I think
we'd better stop here and make camp.

- Everybody get busy.
- Yes. Get busy.

Make camp.

[sings gorbuna mating call]

What was that? What was that?

I was giving the mating
call of the gorbuna.

That was a mating call?

Well, the call
sounds a bit weird.

But when you slow it
down it's rather melodic.

[sings gorbuna mating call]

[sings gorbuna mating call]

That is pretty.

- Mr. Livingston.
- Yes?

What kind of r*fle is this?

A tranquilizer g*n.

A tranquilizer g*n?

The gorbuna is a
very powerful creature,

and we may have to slow him
down a bit to get him back to the zoo.

Oh, I see.

- Oh, Mr. Livingston?
- Yes, Mr. Carter?

How do you expect to find him?

We don't find him. He finds us.

- Finds us?
- Mm-hmm.

The gorbuna is
naturally curious.

In Africa we found out that he's attracted
to the native's revelry while dancing.

So this is our bait.

What's all that stuff?

Native costumes, and you
people will have to wear them.

We're going to
have to wear all that?

Yes.

The gorbuna has been
known to walk right into a camp

during the ceremonial dance.

Hey, mom, this sounds like fun.

Yeah. It's the first time in years
anyone asked me to a dance,

and look what I have to wear.

Now, Mrs. Carter
is setting up camp

I want the rest of you to help me
cut some birch rods for the cage.

- Birch rods - Okay.

Yes. It's right down there.

Come along, everybody.

Oh, you gonna leave
me here all alone?

No, I'm gonna give
you this walkie-talkie.

Now, if you need me you
just press this little button and

- you'll be in touch with me.
- Oh.

Mr. Livingston?

Yes, Mrs. Carter?

I just wanted to say goodbye.

Goodbye, Mrs. Carter.

Goodbye.

Now -

- Are we gonna go across this?
- Mm-hmm.

- You just follow me.
- Yes, sir.

All right, come along, Craig.

Come along, boy.

All right, Kim.

- Very good, Kim. Splendid.
- Very good, Kim.

Thank you.

Well, Mr. Carter, come
along. Come along.

- Come on, Uncle Harry.
- All right, don't rush me.

You act like I've
never done this before.

[sings gorbuna mating call]

[sings gorbuna mating call]

Oh, Mr. Livingston!
Mr. Livingston!

Come in,
Mr. Livingston. Come in!

I read you, Mrs.
Carter. I read you.

Stop reading me and listen.

That gorbuna is here!

Ah! Ah!

Don't panic.

Remember, the gorbuna has never
been known to harm a human being.

[gorbuna mating call]

You hear that?

Yes, I hear it. It's
the mating call.

Well, it sure is. How can I
tell him he's not my type?

- Now listen carefully, Mrs. Carter.
- Yeah?

Can you see the
tranquilizer g*n?

Yeah.

All right. You get it
and sh**t him with it.

That will slow him down.

Oh.

Ah!

Have you gotten the g*n?

No, the gorbuna's got it!

Then listen closely and
do exactly what I tell you.

Yes, yes. What? What?

Run, lady. Run.

Ah!

All right. The trap's all set.

You ready for that
ceremonial dance?

[all] Yeah.

All right. Let her go.

Great. Great. Great.

That's splendid.

Now then, I'm going to hide
behind those bushes over there.

Now, I want you to yell the
minute he gets in that trap,

- and I'll trip it.
- Okay.

All right. Now, start dancing.

All right, hit it, Craig.

Keep dancing.

Harry, don't you know
any other dance step?

Will you keep dancing?

Ah!

Harry. Harry!

- He's here.
- I think he wants to dance with you.

- What'll I do?
- You let him lead.

Mom, see if you can
get him over into the trap.

Harry, put the bananas in the
net. Maybe he'll go after them.

- Oh.
- Here, Uncle Harry.

He's in the net!
He's in the net!

Don't sh**t.

- Don't sh**t.
- Why not?

Because that's the best-looking
date Uncle Harry's had in years.