04x20 - Kim Moves Out

[bunniefuu]

[announcer] Here's Lucy,

starring Lucille Ball.

Co-starring Gale Gordon

and Lucie Arnaz.

Mom, where are you?

I'm down here, dear.

How do I look?

Oh, you look fine.

Oh, good.

Are you sure you're not
gonna catch cold in your knees?

Oh, mom!

- Listen, mom.
- What?

Would you do me a favor?

Sure. What?

Well, this is my very
first date with Peter

and there are a couple of things I
kind of wish you wouldn't do tonight.

Oh, like what?

Well, don't quiz Peter

about what he's gonna do
when he gets out of school.

Don't ask him
what his father does

and please, don't
wait up for me.

And don't make any
remarks about his beard.

Alright, I won't quiz him
about what he's going to do.

I won't wait up for you.

I won't ask him
what his father does

and I won't make any
remarks about his... his what?

There you go.

What, a beard?

Oh, mother...

Oh, now, promise?

Okay, I promise.

Hi, Kim.

Hi, Peter. Come on in.

Peter, I really like
you to meet my mother.

Mother, this is Peter Sullivan.

I'm glad to know
you, Mrs. Carter.

Nice to know you too, Peter.

Pull up a beard and sit down.

A chair.

Ah, sit down.

You know, Peter, I really
admire you kids of today.

You seem to know
exactly what you want to do

when you get out of school.

For instance, Kim knows
that she wants to be a teacher

and Craig, that's my son,
he wants to be a musician.

Oh, good for them.

I know what I want to do too.

- You do?
- Yes, ma'am.

Peter, I think we better get going
if we're gonna catch the movie.

Okay.

You know, a boy down the
street hopes to be a writer.

Oh, well, that makes two of us.

Oh! You're going to be a writer.

What a surprise.

I suppose like father like son.

Oh no, my father is a doctor.

Oh, really.

His father is a doctor.

- Well, good night Mrs. Carter.
- Good night.

Good night, mother.

Good night. Have fun, dear.

And sleep tight, and early.

A writer with a beard yet.

Hello?

Harry, this is Lucille.
Were you asleep?

No, I was just lying in bed in
the dark with my eyes closed

to fool the neighbors.

Listen, Harry, I'm worried sick.

Kim's out on a date
and she isn't home yet.

So?

Do you know what time it is?

Yes, it's time for all possessive
mother hens to be in bed.

Harry, it is 1:30 in the morning

and she's out with
a man she just met

and he's a writer with a beard.

Well, relax.

Maybe he'll become president and
write another Gettysburg address.

Is that all you
have to say to me?

No, Lucille. I have
something else to say.

Good night.

Harry.

Thanks, Peter. The
movie was just great.

I'll pick you up for breakfast
at 8:30 in the morning, okay?

Okay.

This place has the wildest
organic pancakes you ever ate.

Oh great!

- Good night.
- Okay, good night.

Mother.

Mother!

Oh.

I saw you coming.

She's asleep on the couch.

Kim?

Kim?

Kim?

Hello?

Harry, listen.

Look, Lucille, it's
Sunday morning.

I'm trying to sleep in.

Kim did not come home all night.

What?

Are you sure?

She's not here!
Her bed's still made!

What kind of a mother are you,

letting your daughter stay out all
night with a writer with a beard?

You didn't care last night.

Well, I care now.
I'm coming right over.

Don't do a thing.
I'm coming right over.

Right over.

You know, that's the first
time I've heard sausage

made with soybean and yogurt.

Well, there you are!

Yeah, here we are.

What do you mean by
keeping my little girl out all night

engaging in heaven knows what

hanky-panky?

Oh, mother you are wrong!

Mrs. Carter, we
didn't stay out all night.

I brought Kim
home at two o'clock!

Yeah!

Hah! Your bed has
not been slept in.

I made it this morning.

Oh sure, you made your
bed the first time in 20 years.

So, I goofed.

Believe me, it
won't happen again.

Wait a minute, mother, when
you woke up this morning,

you had a afghan
over you, right?

Yes.

Well, who do you think
put it there, the good fairy?

And look at me, I'm not
even wearing the same clothes

I had on last night.

Well, anyway, what's the idea,

sashaying in there at 2 o'clock
in the morning with my little girl?

After the movie, we went
to get some Italian food.

- Where, in Rome?
- Mother!

Kim, I think I better go.

Yeah, well, thanks for everything,
Peter and I'm sorry about all this.

That's okay. I'll see you later.

Mother, you and I have
to have a serious talk.

Now, sit down.

I have a feeling I'm on the
wrong end of a talking to.

Mother, you did every
single thing last night

that you promised
me you wouldn't do.

And then this morning, you
completely humiliated me.

You're just treating me
as if I were a little girl.

I happen to be 20 years old.

Oh, I know! I was there
when you were born.

What I'm trying to
say is I'm an adult now.

I should be leading my own life.

Yeah, I know, dear.

You're right.

And in the future, I... I'm
going to be more tolerant.

Well, good.

Then you'll understand when I
tell you I've decided to move out.

Move out?

I haven't planned
on being that tolerant.

It's the only way and
I've got it all figured out.

Without talking to me?

There you go again.

Oh, sorry. Well, what
did you decide, dear?

I decided that I could
go to college part time

and take a part time job.

It will just take me a little bit
longer to get my degree, that's all.

Oh.

Well, I think that's
a very sensible idea.

And, you know, I think you
ought to get your own apartment.

You do?

Yeah, and I know a
darling place that's vacant.

Oh really? Where?

Over the Thompsons'
garage next door.

Next door? Mother,
that's too close.

Too close?

It's clear on the
other side of their lot.

No, mom. I don't know.

But it's really cute
and it's so near,

so cheap, so reasonable.

Well, I guess it wouldn't
hurt to just go look at it.

Good. We'll take a look at it.

Mother!

Oh, you take a look at it. Yeah.

And you let me
know what you think.

Alright, be calm!

I'll call the police and
let the police know!

Never mind, Harry. She's home.

Then why didn't
you call me back?

I'm sorry, Harry. I'm sorry.

But I have had a terrible
misunderstanding with Kim.

Oh?

Now, you may not believe
this but I made a fool of myself.

I believe it. I believe it.

But what... what happened?

Kim has decided to
move out of the house.

I've lost my little girl!

Come in, mother.

Oh now, I haven't been
over here that much.

That's true. I haven't
seen you in a whole hour.

Well, I-I knew you
would be busy unpacking

and you probably wouldn’t
want to take time out to cook.

So, I brought you some din-din.

Thanks, mom.

Well, I'll be going, unless of
course you'd like me to help you.

No, thanks.

If you want, I could
do those old dirty jobs,

you know, like scrub the
kitchen floor, that sort of thing.

Goodbye, mother.

Well, I can take a hint.

Well, I can.

I'm going and I'm not coming
back until you call me and invite me.

Come in, mother.

I wouldn't dream of
coming in again but,

I was just thinking. I
made that casserole for two.

And if you'd like to have somebody
come over and eat it with you.

Well, that's a great idea.

I thought so.

I'll call Peter.

Come in, mother.

I'm not your mother but
may I come in, anyway?

Oh!

Hi, Uncle Harry. Come on in.

- Oh. How are you, dear?
- I'm fine.

I brought you a little
housewarming present.

Oh, thank you. Isn't that nice?

- Oh my, this is charming!
- Thank you.

- Just lovely.
- Thank you.

Goldfish!

Oh, Uncle Harry that's great.

Yeah.

That one's Bertha

and that one's Sam

or is that Bertha
and that's Sam.

Well, I guess it doesn't
make any difference.

Well, I bet it does
to Sam and Bertha.

Oh, you little rascal, you.

Yeah. They're cute.

Well, they won't
be much trouble.

Just feed them once a day and
change the water occasionally.

Well, there wouldn't be any
trouble at all, Uncle Harry.

I'll just leave a little
note on the bowl,

"Mother, please
feed the goldfish."

You mean she comes
over when you're not here?

Well, all I know is when
I get home from school,

someone has made
my bed, done the dishes

and left me a
casserole for dinner.

It's either mother or I'm living
with a bunch of little elves.

Well, that's just terrible.

You know, she cannot face up to
the fact that you have finally left home.

I know.

I knew I should have
moved farther away!

Wait a minute, dear.
Wait-wait a minute.

How does she get in
here when you're gone?

You lock your door, don't you?

Yes, but she had a
duplicate key made.

- She didn't.
- She did.

Well, then, the
solution is simple.

You'll just have to change
the lock on the door.

Now, why didn't I think of that?

Because you haven't had
my 10 years' experience

outwitting your mother.

Hello, Lucille.

What fool question are
you going to ask me now?

Do you know how to pick a lock?

Well, I sure called that one.

What?

Nothing. Why do
you want to know?

Kim has changed the
lock on her apartment.

I know. It was my idea.

Well! Whose side are you on?

Hers.

Harry, now look. I am
not being possessive.

I just want to go over there and
measure for some bed spreads

that I'm making for her.

I want to surprise her.

Lucille, you have got
to stop going over there.

After all, even a mother
bird knows enough

to push the young
out of the nest.

Not until she's
sure they could fly.

Kim could have flown long ago

if you hadn't put
BBs in her bird seed.

You don't know what it's
like to have your only daughter

move away from home.

Oh, Lucille, get
a hold of yourself.

Now, stop that.

Look, you need to do something
to get your mind off things.

How about playing
golf with me tomorrow?

- Well, that would be nice.
- Yeah.

Alright, alright, I'll pick you
up at nine in the morning.

Alright.

Yeah, but will
you stop sniveling?

Oh.

You get the groceries,
Peter. I'll get the books.

You got the key?

Oh. I almost forgot I
got the lock changed...

I got to pack so
much in this one bag...

You hold the books...

Here it is. I got it.

Look, Peter, you know,
I just have to get a job.

Well, if you get a job, could you
still be in the review at school?

Oh yeah. Well, I
want to do both!

But if I don't get a job, I'm
gonna have to move back home.

Anyway, I'm not
even in the review yet.

Don't worry.

You will be as soon as
Jack Foley hears you.

- You really think so?
- Sure.

You know, I think maybe
I'll run over that number

- for the audition one more time.
- That's a good idea.

Will you play it for me?

Yeah.

Great.

Okay. Ready whenever you are.

[Sings] I got love,
sweet sweet love,

sweeter than the flower
growing by the hour.

I got love.

Sunshine shine.

Hey, I got mine.

Carved it on a willow,

I'm talking to my
pillow now, I got love.

Every time, I'm with him,
I know I'm a lucky girl.

For the first time in my
life, someone in this world.

Bye, bye blues.

Hey, I can't lose.

I got a jar of honey, everyday
is sunny now, I got love.

Yeah.

[sings] Bye bye blues.

Hey, I can't I can't
lose, I got a jar of honey.

Everyday it's sunny
now I got love.

I got love.

Yeah, I got love.

I got love.

I got love.

I got love, love, love.

I got love!

- Jack's going to love it.
- I hope so.

Hello?

Hey, Kim dear. Let me
speak to your mother please.

Well, you're not gonna
believe this, Uncle Harry

but she's not here.

Well, she must be.

I'm at her house.

We have a golf date
and she isn't here.

I've looked at...
oh wait a minute.

Wait, I'm looking out
at the back patio there.

She may... uh-oh.

She must be over at your place.

I can see her ladder
lying outside your window.

I'll tell you what,
she's probably hiding.

Oh, you really think
so, Uncle Harry?

Yeah.

Now, look, if you
find her, don't let on.

No.

I'll come over and maybe
we can teach her a lesson.

Oh, okay.

Listen, she probably
just went to the market

and she'll be home any minute.

- Right. Goodbye, dear.
- Uh-huh.

Bye.

- What...
- Shh.

Uh, you know, Peter,
I was thinking maybe

I ought to do an old song
for the number, you know.

Nostalgia is very big now.

Right, yeah.

But there's just so many
old songs to choose from.

I better give it some thought.

Well, you know, Peter.

I think maybe I better just
sing every old song I know

and let you pick one.

How many do you know?

Oh, 50 or 60.

Uh, we'll just take
our time, you know.

We start with "Ma,
he's making eyes at me."

[Sings] \Ma, he's
making eyes at me.

Oh, ma, he's awful nice to me.

Ma, he's almost
breakin' my heart.

He's beside me, mercy,
let his conscience guide me.

Ma...

[Sings] What if I've been blue,

now I'm walking
through fields of flowers.

Rain may glisten but still I
listen for hours and hours.

I'm just a kid again,
doing what I did again,

singing a song,

when the red red robin
comes bob, bob bobbin' along,

when the red, red
robin goes bobbin' along!

Gee, Uncle Harry,
that's such fun.

It doesn't seem like we've been
singing for a couple of hours,

does it?

No.

Tell me Kim, how's your
job hunting coming along?

Oh, it's coming along
fine, Uncle Harry.

I got an offer this
morning to be a bunny.

A bunny?

Oh. Oh.

Well now, that could be
a very interesting work.

You might meet a lot of wolves.

Yeah, but mom
will just have a fit.

Oh, well, you could always tell
her you were going to night school.

It's true, I could, yeah.

Yeah, you know, I just
have to get some sort of a job

or I'll have to move back home.

Anything would
be better than that.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, Uncle Harry, I was
thinking, I could take on a roommate

to help share expenses.

Yeah. Yes.

Do you have someone in mind?

Yeah. Peter.

Oh! That would be neat.

Yeah!

But what about your mother?

Oh, no, thanks Uncle Harry.

I've been roommates
with her long enough.

No, no, no. What
would your mother say?

Well, I figure, what she
doesn't know won't hurt her.

Ah, I'd tell you what,

why don't we build
a fire in the fireplace?

- Hey, now there's an idea.
- Yeah.

Make it nice and
cozy, wouldn't it?

Yes. I'll go get some
kindling and some matches.

Good boy, good boy.

- We'll get the place warmed up.
- Yeah.

I think it would be real good
because we can sit around.

We can toast marshmallows.
We can do all kinds of... oh.

Oh! It's mother!

Yes, it's mother!

I heard the whole thing

and I'm never
speaking to you again.

Then, I'll speak to you later.

And as for you,

as soon as I can straighten up,

I'll slug you, you fuzzy
faced, pencil pusher!

It's mother! It's mother.

It's mother!

You know, except for that stoop,

I think we straightened
mom out pretty good.