05x21 - Lucy and Uncle Harry's Pot

[bunniefuu]

[Announcer] Here's Lucy.

Starring Lucille Ball.

Co-starring Gale Gordon

- Good morning, Lucille.
- Oh, good morning, Harry.

What happened to the typewriter?

I have a screw loose.

I know but what
happened to the typewriter?

This loose screw got
bent and I had to replace it.

Well I hope you know
what you're doing.

See, all fixed.

Good, good.

Where are the accounts
receivable? I'd like to add them up.

- Oh here.
- Oh, thank you.

Hmm-hmm.

Good heavens, what happened
to our adding machine?

I think it came apart.

I know that, but why?

Well Harry, when I had to replace
a bent screw in the typewriter,

I did borrow a screw
from the adding machine.

How could you do
anything that stupid?

All right, get hold
of a repair man.

That was not stupid and
we don't need a repair man.

- We don't?
- No,

if you hold off on your
adding until I finish my typing,

then we can just shuttle
the screw back and forth.

Lucille, get a repair man.

All right.

Here, try to fix something.

What's that?

That is one of my most
cherished possessions.

I've had it at home for years

but a workman coming
over to redecorate.

I brought it here so it
wouldn't get broken.

Well, that's good thinking,

some of those workmen
are like a bull in a China shop.

Oh, I know, I know.

It looks very valuable.

It is, sentimentally.

Sentimentally?

Yes.

Miss Lindsey, a
secretary I had years ago,

gave it to me as a going away
present when she got married.

Well, that was a
very nice gesture.

Oh yes, but more
important than that,

she made it with
her very own hands.

- Really?
- Hmm-hmm.

Well, she must have
thought a lot of you.

Oh, she did, she did.

Oh, I know, you think of me
as a blow hard, tightfisted tyrant

but this testifies
to my true image,

a kind, patient,

considerate, generous employer.

Harry, is that a pot or a crock?

- Will you get hold of someone
to repair that adding machine?
- Yes, sir.

Oh, I almost forgot,

I have to make some copies of
these on the duplicating machine.

I'll do it.

That's a very expensive machine.

I don't want you
anywhere near it.

All right.

And get on the phone.

- Will you get on the phone?
- Yes sir, yes sir, yes sir.

Oh Harry, guess what.

What?

You know that screw I had to
borrow from the adding machine

to fix the typewriter?

Yes.

Well, I found another
screw that fit perfectly

and now we don't need a
repairman for the adding machine.

Well, good girl, good.

Oh, I wonder if our bank
statements are ready.

A man from the bank just called,
he wants you to call him back.

Oh, thank you.

What...

Lucille...

Ah, now, now,
Harry, I can explain.

No, I can explain.

The screw you needed
to fix the adding machine.

How could you be that dumb?

Dumb?

That was the
smartest move of all.

Smart?

Yes, now we don't need a
repairman for the typewriter

or the adding machine

and the phone company doesn't
charge anything for repairs.

With that kind of thinking, you
are going to drive me bananas.

Now, file this and get someone
up here to fix that phone.

Yes sir,

you don't appreciate
anything I do.

I try to save you
money, a lot you care.

Oh, Harry!

Harry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I do wish that hadn't happened.

Harry, holler but don't hit.

I'm not going to holler.

Are you going to hit?

No, no Lucille,

that is a personal tragedy
that is beyond retaliation.

Well, I'll be glad
to pay for it, Harry.

You could take it
out of my salary.

I'm not interested
in compensation.

You're not?

There are some sentimental
values that cannot be measured

in dollars and cents.

Gee Harry, I've never seen
you take anything so hard.

I'm really sorry.

Well, it wasn't your fault.

Oh, but it was and if you yelled
at me, I wouldn't blame you.

I'm not up to yelling.

Harry, I appreciate you
being so nice about this

but the nicer you
are the worse I feel.

I just wish there was
something I could do.

Well, you could
pick up the pieces.

Oh, yes, sir.

But please, be careful, I
wouldn't want you to cut yourself.

You wouldn't?

No indeed, no.

And if anyone
calls, I've gone out.

Well, where are
you going, Harry?

Walking, just walking.

Harry, please,

I hate to see you go out
alone in the moods you are in.

Maybe you'd feel better
if you got it off your chest.

Can't you yell
at me just a little?

Lucile, as far as I'm concerned,
it was an unfortunate accident

and I intend to forget
the matter entirely

and never mention it again.

Harry Carter, I never
knew you could be so mean.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

You might look
where you're going.

I had to back in the door
so I could close my umbrella.

You know, an open umbrella
indoors can bring people bad luck.

You don't say.

Yeah.

Do you know where I
could find Mr. Hubble?

Yeah, at the moment, he is
lying in a crate full of rubbish.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Here, let me help you.

Give me your hand.

Oh, I'm glad you're out.

What can I do for you?

Oh, well I have something
I want to show you,

- it's in this box right...
- Oh, oh, oh.

- What happened?
- Got it.

- Where did you get it?
- You just knocked it off.

I did?

Oh, oh, say, that was a
couple of close ones, huh?

Shall I put this back
up, Mr. Hubble?

After she's gone.

Well, I'm very
sorry, Mr. Hubble.

What is it that you want?

Well, sir, I have a problem
I want to discuss with you.

I suggest we discuss it outside.

In the rain?

We can stand
under your umbrella.

No, no, now I'll be very
careful Mr. Hubble, really.

I came here to find out
if you do repair work.

You see, I have
a broken ceramic.

I'm not surprised.

Well sir, it wasn't my fault.

Naturally.

Anyway, I heard about the
wonderful work that you do

and I was hoping
maybe you could repair it

and make it look just like new.

Let's see.

Yes, wow, I see.

Oh yes.

Look, no hands.

Well, frankly, Miss...

Carter, I'm Lucy Carter.

- Please keep those in your pockets.
- Oh, yes, sir.

Frankly, Miss Carter, I think
would be far more practical

just to have one of my
art students duplicate it.

Oh, Mr. Hubble, you
have given me a great idea.

Oh, what's that?

Yeah look, if I could learn to
make one of those in your art class,

then Harry would
have another employee

who made him something
with her very own hands.

- Oh well, if you're interested
in one of our art classes.
- Yes, sir.

- I'll get you a pamphlet.
- Good.

- Right over here.
- Thank you.

Mrs. Carter, you did it again.

Well I guess this isn't my day.

It isn't mine
either. I'll take this.

And I'll take this too.

- Well now, here's your pamphlet.
- Yes, sir.

- We have a course of six
lessons for $20.00.
- Uh-huh.

Well, here's your $20.00

but I really don't
want the whole course.

Could you teach me to make
one of those pots in one night?

One night?

Yeah, you know, sort
of a crash program.

Please, I wish you wouldn't
say crash in my shop.

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm
sorry, I'm sorry.

But you see, Harry is so upset.

I'd like to have it for him when I
show up for work tomorrow morning.

Well, we have a class at 8:00
tonight if you'd like to give it a try

but I can't guarantee results.

No, 8:00 is fine.

Now, if I could have
my umbrella please.

If you don't mind, I'll
walk you to the door.

Oh, that's very nice of you.

- My pleasure.
- Thank you.

Oh, that's a shame.

You know, you got
to be very careful

when you work
around a place like this.

Goodbye, Mr. Hubble.

Here we are.

Well, hey, this is a very
interesting place you have here.

I can't wait to get started.

Have you ever worked
a potter's wheel before?

No, but I'm very quick.

- Well, just give me your coat.
- Yes, sir.

- And we'll slip into a smock here.
- Oh, that's a good idea.

Yeah, I didn't know
what to wear tonight.

There you are and you will
know how to tie it yourself?

- Yeah, right through here, yeah.
- Thank you.

- Hello Joe,
how is it going tonight?
- How are you doing?

Fine.

Say, this is a
lovely piece of work.

Aah!

Oh, ow!

Oh, ow, oh!

Oh, that's hot.

Oh, oh, oh!

Oh, don't throw it back to me.

Mrs. Carter...

I told you I was quick.

- Now, if you just step over here.
- Yes, sir.

- Mrs. Carter...
- Yes?

This is your wheel.

Oh, my wheel.

And this is our Mr. Tweed.

- Oh, how do you do, Mr. Tweed?
- How are you doing?

Nice to know you.

I have assigned Mr. Tweed
to fashion the same vessel

that you hope to duplicate.

Oh, good, good thinking
then I can just watch him

and I won't have to bother you.

- That's what I had in mind.
- Yeah.

Oh, we don't wear gloves.

Oh, we do for I just had a
two dollar and a half manicure.

Now, Mrs. Carter, would you
please sit down so we can get started?

Yes, sir.

What do I do?

Now, Mr. Tweed, would
you show Mrs. Carter

how we'd begin to fashion
the bottom of the vessel.

- Do you remember the one...
- Yes.

- That's the bottom.
- Yes.

All right, we're doing this.

- Your clay is right beside you.
- Oh yes.

- All right.
- Uh-huh.

Now, just put it
right on here, huh?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

- You have to make
the wheel spin first.
- Oh.

Well, how do I do that?

All right, now, both
feet go this way.

- Kick, faster and faster.
- Whoa, kick.

Great.

Oh yeah.

Hey, this is fun. I'll race you.

Oh, but you know
something, it's kind of tiring.

This wheel also
operates electrically.

Oh now you tell me. How?

There's a little switch
right under there.

Turn on your switch.

Oh yeah.

Ah, there we are.

Yeah, now what?

- All right. Now, take your clay.
- Uh-huh.

All right.

Hold it right here, drop
it exactly in the middle.

Go ahead, let me see you do it.

- Just like that.
- Uh-huh.

- How is that?
- Pretty good.

What do I do now?

- All right, wet your hands
with lots of water.
- Wet my hands.

- Water. Uh-huh.
- Lots of water.

OK. Now, do as I'm doing.

Press from one
side and the other.

- Press on it?
- Press inward.

Uh-huh.

- All right, try to get it centered.
- Uh-huh.

It's wobbling.

- Press in.
- Try to do what?

- A little more water.
- More water.

Press in, press down
on the top a little.

- Press down on the top.
- All right.

That wasn't what
you meant was it?

It wasn't quite it.

Can I start again?

- Not with that.
- No, not with that.

- All right, scrape this out.
- Yes, yes.

Dry it with the towel.

Yeah, you're very nice.

Thank you.

Are you married?

Yes.

- You are?
- Yeah.

OK.

- Now that's dry enough.
- Yeah.

- Make it go fast again.
- Oh, OK.

- Put the ball right in
the middle this time.
- Yeah.

Let's do it this time.

Do what?

I mean, let's get it
centered like this.

Push it in a little.

Water will fix it. Water
will fix everything.

- Press in hard.
- Press in.

All right, that's good.
Hey, that is good.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, good for what?
- Round if off up here a little.

- Round it off.
- Yeah, all right, hey stop.

You got it almost.

Uh-huh. Put that thing
around the bottom.

- Now, you know what
we're going to do?
- Around the bottom.

- Squeeze that thing in
just with your fingers.
- Yeah, yeah.

Lots of water.

- How's that?
- Yeah, stop quick, stop.

Stop, stop, stop.
Yes, yeah, we stopped.

Now, you can
take this wire to it.

A what?

- The wire to it.
- Oh.

- Uh-huh, what do I do next?
- Lots of water on the wheel.

Put water on the wheel.
Water on the wheel.

All right.

Some more water in.

- You have the board there.
- Oh yes.

- Put it up there like mine.
- Uh-huh.

All right, bring
it right out there.

- Oh. That was neat.
- All right.

Now, well, take it over
and put it in the shelf.

Well, you can
hardly tell them apart.

Hardly.

Well, now what do I do?

And now Mrs. Carter,

we're going to start making
the upper section of the vessel.

Oh yes.

What do I do, sir?

- All right, you have a ball
of clay beside you here.
- Uh-huh.

- Dry your hands up because
the clay also get, come on stick.
- Right, OK.

- All right. Now, take the ball.
- Right.

- Get your wheel going.
- Yeah.

Here we go.

- Right in the middle.
- Right in the middle.

Right in the middle.

Give it a drink.

Water will fix it, water
will fix it, water will fix it.

Lots of water. Lots of water.

Yeah, now what do I do?

- Just push in more.
- Push in more.

- I got it.
- All right, press it down.

Press down.

What we're after is a perfect
cylinder, that doesn't wobble, OK?

There, it's not wobbling.

- Press on the side.
- It's not happy but it's not wobbling.

Press from the side
and it's wobbling.

All right.

- How's that?
- That's better.

- Now, what do I do?
- All right, curl your
thumbs over the top.

- What?
- Curl your thumbs over the top.

Round it off on the top.

Push your thumbs down in
and open it up into a bowl.

- Put your thumbs there.
- Right to the middle.

Right to the middle,
what do you mean?

What do you got that
thing on the middle for?

Why did you tell me to do that?

I didn't.

- That's the base you
were making before.
- Yeah.

Well..

- Mrs. Carter...
- What?

I really think it would be
better if you started with

one of the cylinders
that's already prepared.

No, no, no, I want to
make it with my own hands.

But Mrs. Carter, you don't have
hands, you have two st*lks of bananas.

Well, OK.

Give her a cylinder.

Scrape her wheel,
and let's get it done.

Yeah, I'll dry it.

And I'll put the
cylinder on, OK?

- Yeah.
- All right.

- Do I run the wheel?
- You run the wheel.

- OK.
- All right.

Here we go, lots of water,
lots of water, lots of water, now.

Maybe, try one hand
inside and one hand outside.

- That might work.
- What do I do in there?

Well, you push out to
form the shape you want

and you support it on the
outside with the other hand.

What shape do I want?

You want the shape
that went on there.

It came up a little
like in and out like that.

- Handles and all?
- No, no, no, the handles are later.

Look at what you're doing!

Oh, honestly, just
no way to do it.

Oh, I'm sorry.

- That does it, Mrs. Carter.
- I'm sorry.

Out, out, out!

What do you mean out?

I gave you my money

and I'm going to make this
thing with my own little hands.

I'll give your
money back to you.

Please leave quietly

or you'll be thrown out
with my own little hands.

No, I'm not
leaving until I finish.

Now, it's the clay, it
just keeps falling apart.

But Mrs...

This clay is terrible.

I don't care if I have
to stay here all night.

I paid you my money
and I'm going to make it.

Please...

And I'm going to make it
with my own little hands.

Ah, there you are.

There's your clay.

All right.

OK.

Good morning, Lucille.

Good morning, Harry.

Well, it looks as though you've
been out partying all night.

Some party,

- I didn't get any sleep
but it was worth it.
- Oh?

I have a surprise for you.

A surprise?

Close your eyes

and don't peek.

You can open them now, Harry.

Oh Harry, I know
it's not perfect

but I made it myself
with my own little hands.

Why?

Well, you know, because
you felt so bad about

me breaking the other... the
one that your secretary made.

Oh well, well, now, that was
a very considerate gesture

and... well, come to think of
it, it does... it looks... it's a...

Well, it's unusual.

It kind of grows
on you doesn't it.

I hope so.

Well, let's put it
over here, shall we.

OK.

And now Harry, I
have a real surprise.

Another surprise?

Yeah, I told the
man in the art school

into restoring this
as it was originally.

- The one Miss Lindsey gave me.
- That's right.

- Oh, thank you.
- Yeah.

Thank you... that
was very nice of you.

Now then, shall I
make some coffee?

Coffee?

No, no, no, this is a
special morning, Lucille.

We're going to have
breakfast in style.

I want to take you to the Sky
room of the Winthrop Hotel.

Oh Harry, how wonderful.

Oh.

- Harry, - Hmm?

I know that she made a
better looking vase than I did

but that doesn't mean that
she likes you any better.

- Lucille...
- Yes.

- Excuse me a minute.
- Sure.

Let's go, let's go.