06x05 - The Bow Wow Boutique

[bunniefuu]

[announcer] Here's Lucy.

Starring: Lucille Ball

Co-starring: Gale Gordon

and Lucie Arnaz.

What's that?

Mr. Williams isn't there?

Oh, well, miss, will you tell
him that Harrison Carter called?

Harrison Carter,

I'm the owner of the
Bow Wow Boutique.

Bow Wow Boutique.

Bow Wow! Bow Wow!

No, no, I wasn't barking.

No, the Bow Wow
Boutique is a pet shop.

Yes, we also do
boarding and grooming.

Now, you will tell Mr. Williams.

Thank you.

Oh yes, yes, I love dogs too

that's why I bought
the establishment.

Goodbye.

Oh brother, you bought
it because you love dogs.

You bought it because
you love money

and you want to
sell it for a big profit.

And what is wrong with that?

Oh Harry, to you, man's
best friend is money.

Can you name me a
lovelier companion?

You could not have
been born Harry,

you must have been
issued by the mint.

All right, all right Lucille,

just be very nice
to Mr. Bob Williams

- when he calls back.
- Yes.

He's the man who has
that fabulous dog act.

Really?

He's also the man

I hope to pawn off
the boutique on...

Uh... unload the place on.

Try swindle.

He's the one I hope to sell
it to at a reasonable profit.

- Naturally.
- Yes.

Now all right now
Lucille, let's get on with it,

- where were we?
- Yeah, January 14th.

Mr. Dinwitty, what
are you doing here?

Who's minding the pet shop?

Sid is there.

Don't go away, Mrs. Carter.

I need you as a witness.

Witness?

You were there when Mr. Carter
promised me more money

and I insist on
my raise right now.

I said, I will give you
a raise in due time.

And I say, due time is due.

Oh you do, do you?

Well, I say due is
when I tell you it is due.

Do tell.

And I'm saying
what's due is overdue.

Well, don't do tell me, I'll
tell you when due is due.

I haven't heard anything like
this since Abbott and Costello.

Dinwitty, I cannot give
you a raise right now.

Then I quit.

You can't quit.

I am through as of right now.

I'm turning in my flea collar.

But... ugh!

What a spot to leave me in.

Where am I going to get someone

to take care of the pet
shop over the weekend?

Don't you look at me.

You, ask you to give
up a long weekend,

why that would
be extremely unfair

and unreasonable.

You betcha!

And this is just the time

to be extremely unfair
and unreasonable.

You're elected.

Harry, I wasn't even running.

Lucille, you've got to do it.

Who else can I get
at the last minute?

How about a Pekingese
with executive ability?

Lucille, there are two men there

to take care of the
grooming and the boarding.

Now, all you have to do is
take care of the pet shop.

No, no.

The prices are clearly
marked on every...

Any bird brain
could take care of it.

Oh, you sure know how to
win over a person with flattery.

Oh well, I didn't mean
bird brain exactly.

That was in another...

OK Harry, OK, I'll do it.

Oh.

I can use the money.

Who... who... who's said
anything about money?

I'll do it for $50
for the weekend

and one day off next week.

$50 and one day off!

Couldn't you do a favor
for your brother-in-law?

A $50-favor? Yes.

It's due time, I
get my due reward

when I do a favor
and my bill is due now

before the due, due, dewey due,

starts falling in the due,

right now.

I'll take my due...

All right, all
right. It's a deal.

Gee, it was sure nice of
you to help me out Kim,

thank you for volunteering.

Volunteering?

You said you want to take
a little ride and go shopping.

Well, this is a shop.

See anything you want?

Oh sure.

Would you look
at all this stuff?

I've never seen so much
a dog could do without.

Get a load of these,
canine chapeau

Yeah.

Does this do anything for me?

Very debonair.

If you were a French
Poodle, you'd look terrific.

Oh, merci beaucoup.

Good morning, girls.

Hi, Harry.

- I just came to alert you.
- What?

Bob Williams is coming here

- with his dog in a little while.
- Oh.

Bob Williams, the guy
that has that great dog act?

- Yeah.
- Yes.

He's the one I hope
to sell the boutique too.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

I think he's bringing the
dog here kind of to test us.

- Oh, yeah, yeah, could be.
- Good, good.

We'll put the dog in
the executive kennel

and serve him his
doggy biscuits in bed.

Yeah.

Do that... do anything he wants,

- you do it, you do it.
- OK.

- Lucille, I'm very close to a sale.
- Yeah.

I don't want you to louse it up.

Well now what could
I do to louse it up?

The possibilities are unlimited.

Oh Harry.

- Now, look girls...
- What?

When Mr. Williams gets here,

I want you to be
very nice to him.

- We will, yeah.
- Do anything at all for him.

And Lucille, if I
do make that sale,

I'll give you a little bonus.

Bonus?

Did I say that?

I heard and I'll
swear to it in court.

Ooh, you're a miserable child.

- Good morning.
- Oh, good morning.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

This is Winston.

- Well, hi there.
- Winston.

Hi there, Winston.
Oh, he's beautiful.

I want to have him
groomed please.

- Yes, yes ma'am.
- Fine, fine.

And I want a brand
new outfit for Dolly.

Dolly?

- My Fox Terrier.
- Oh.

- She's in the car.
- Uh-huh.

Oh no, what size does she wear,

is it medium or small?

Well, why didn't you just
bring her in, we can fit her.

Oh, I can't do that,
it's her birthday.

I want to surprise her.

Well, I have an idea.

Why don't you measure
Dolly when she isn't looking

and then you could
sneak the size into us?

Oh good, I'll try that.

Swell.

Oh boy!

They're sure quite a
clientele here, huh?

They sure do.

Will you look at
that expression?

Cheer up, Winston.
Things aren't that bad.

Oh my.

I think Winston forgot
to check his coat.

Well, he sure got enough
left over to make a vest.

Hey Sid, we got a
customer for you.

Hey, maybe Sid
can shrink your skin

so it will fit, Winston.

Oh, Winston's back.

Yeah, wash him and
pretty him up, Sid.

OK, come on, Winston.

And no starch.

Very funny, very funny.

I think Sid got up
on the wrong side

of his doggy bed this morning.

- What is the matter with him?
- I don't know.

Good morning, ladies.

Oh, good morning.

Hi there.

I'm Bob Williams
and this is Lou.

Oh, Mr. Williams.

And Louie would like to
spend the weekend with you.

Well, we'd be very
glad to have him

and it's a pleasure to
serve you, Mr. Williams.

Yes, it certainly is.

Now, is there anything
especial we could do for Louie?

Anything, anything at all,
we're only too happy to please.

My, what a friendly group.

Louie, why don't you go home

and I'll stay here
for the weekend?

Are you this friendly
to everybody?

Well, now Mr. Williams.

It does help if you're
interested in buying the place.

Oh, how about that Louie?

I thought it was our good looks.

Hey, but you are right.

- I am thinking about
buying the place.
- Yes, yes.

And if Louie likes it, he
can help make my mind up.

Well, we'll certainly
go all out for him.

We sure will.

Listen Mr. Williams,
I really love your act.

So do I. So do I.

Do you think you could
get Louie to do a trick for us?

No, no, we don't do tricks.

Never.

That's for an ordinary dog act.

I reach Louie's mind.

It's canine ESP.

Canine ESP?

Yeah, do you want me
to show you real quick?

- I would love to see that.
- Yeah.

Louie my boy, what
are you going to do?

Now, we're going to think
angel, now you get comfy,

get comfy and are you
thinking with me, huh?

Yes, it's good boy, good angel,

good, yeah, good, good boy.

I'm getting through to him.

You want to be a statue?

A famous statue. Which one?

Which one?

The End Of The Trail...

He's just wonderful.

Yeah.

Louie and his brilliant
mind thank you.

OK.

Louie, I have to leave now

and you be a good boy,
you say your prayers,

and don't you stay up
watching the late, late show.

And you mind the ladies.

- Goodbye, ladies.
- Goodbye.

Goodbye, Louie.

Hey Sid, we have
another customer for you.

Oh no, you haven't.

What?

I've had it. I'm quitting.

You can't quit now, Sid.

We're just about
to sell this place.

I've heard that before.

I was promised a
raise and I never got it.

Goodbye.

Sid!

Sid! You can't leave
us here all alone.

Well, Joe is in the back.

Joe?

Can he wash and
groom all the dogs?

No, he won't touch them.

He's in charge of
boarding and feeding.

But who's going to
wash all the dogs?

That's your problem.

Oh, Sid.

Sid, please reconsider!

Oh, do you believe that?

Mom, I've got a feeling.

Are you getting the same
feeling that I'm feeling?

Yeah, rub-a-dub-dub,


OK, Louie, what do
you want, a henna rinse?

OK now, Teddy boy,

we're going to get all of
these nice subs off here

and you're going to be
the prettiest little bulldog

in the whole town.

You're just going to be the
Winston Churchill of the century.

Yes, you are.

Yes sir, you're the lovely baby.

Yes, sir.

Now, now you get up here.

Come on, come on,
I'll dry you off, atta boy.

I'm gonna dry you off.

Hey, hey, hey, watch it.

Watch it, watch
it now, watch it.

Oh, oh Teddy boy,
doesn't that feel good?

Let's see that pretty face.

Yes, sir.

Oh, such a baby.

Oh, such a beautiful baby.

Oh, him's going to have
the cleanest fleas and...

Didn't that feel good?

Yes, sir.

Now, we're going to
finish off with the blower.

We're going to
finish off with a blower

and it's going to
feel good, Teddy boy.

Yes sir, just a minute
now, while I'll turn it on.

Oh, this darned thing.

Joe! Joe!

Yes, ma'am?

What's happened to this thing?

I can't get the blower to work.

We've been having
trouble with that.

Yeah? Well, I turned it on.

I got the pressure turned
all the way up and...

I'm very, very sorry
about that, Joe.

Oh, that's all right. It
happens all the time.

Oh really?

Yeah, well, I hope your
hair stays on now, Teddy.

OK now, take it
easy, take it easy, boy.

Ooh, that's a good boy.

OK Joe, come and take him away.

Yeah, that's a good fellah.

Oh, that's nice, nice.

Oh, come on.

Well, that's one
way of doing it.

- Mom...
- What do you want?

You are not going to
believe your next customer.

Oh, don't tell
me, it's a gorilla.

No.

Look at the little baby.

Oh, what a doll.

That's all there is.
There isn't any more.

What's its name?

- Tiger.
- Naturally.

Naturally.

And listen, you better
not turn the blower on him

or he'll wind up in Pittsburgh.

- Good luck.
- OK now, Tiger.

Don't you worry honey, we're
not going to hurt you one little bit.

Just a minute now, I got
to turn on the soap suds.

Darn these things.

Why doesn't that work?

Take it easy now...

Oh, good heavens!

Tiger!

Tiger!

Tiger!

Kim! Kim!

What?

I've lost Tiger. He's
in there someplace.

- Oh my gosh.
- Tiger.

How could you do that?

Oh, I got him.

- That's my hand.
- Oh.

Tiger!

Tiger!

Oh mom, what if he
went down the drain?

Don't say that.

Well...

Oh look, I'll blow
the suds away.

Well, you better
do something fast.

Are you ladies looking for this?

Oh, Tiger.

Oh, what a relief.

He was out there
chasing a Great Dane.

I'm sorry, Joe. I'm sorry.

Oh... look honey, take Tiger out
back and give him a dry shampoo.

- I can't go through this again.
- All right.

Oh, you dumb thing.

Oh boy.

Now, mom, are you ready
for your next customer?

No!

Ready or not, here we come.

Wow!

Meet Tinker Bell.

Tinker Bell?

I think I bet on her
once at Santa Anita.

Well, the customer
just wants her bathed.

What's the matter, the
car wash turned her down?

- All right.
- Oh, hey you know
what's a shame?

You don't get paid
by the square foot.

Yeah. Come on
Tinker Bell, let's go.

- Bath time, baby.
- Come on, Tink.

Come on, Tink.

- Oh.
- Bath time.

Well, she's almost...

- Tinker Bell.
- I think I'm going to
have a little problem.

Come on, up the ramp, baby.

Here we go, into the
tub, tub, tub, tub, tub...

Tinker Bell...

- Oh.
- Tinker, take it off.

Tinker Bell, now listen.

Come on, you're not going to
give us any trouble here are you?

Come on.

Be a good little doggy

and get all nice and
clean now don't you?

I think maybe they've
washed her before.

Tink, listen...

Well, let's roll her
back this way, Mom.

Tink...

Now look, there's nothing wrong

with what we're
asking you to do, honey.

I'm sure your family
would approve.

- Oh, she's so sweet.
- Yes.

Now Tink, listen here.

Now just a minute, Tinker Bell.

For goodness sake
honey, it's not all that bad.

- Oh, look, she loves you.
- Oh, she's a sweet baby.

Yeah, we just want
you to take a bath.

Yeah.

All right, all right
girls, let's get to work.

Let's not pla...

Oh my, that is a big one.

Well, you ain't just a woofin'

and we need a
little help, Harry.

We can't even get
her up the ramp.

Oh, what's her name?

Tinker Bell.

- Tinker Bell...
- Yeah.

Well, it's very simple ladies.

What is?

We'll just all pick her up
and put her in the bath.

Oh, OK. Well, maybe with
you here, we can do that.

All right. Let's just
get Tinker Bell...

She's a handful
though, I can tell you.

All ready.

OK. I'll grab the
back here and you...

OK, Tinker Bell.

On your mark, get set,
one, two, three, heave!

Whoa-h*!

Heave!

Whoa!

Tinker Bell,
please listen to me.

Tinker Bell...

She's a sweetheart,
I'll tell you that.

Yes she is but will
just go up and...

She's absolutely falling
in love with you, Harry.

Oh, no but Tinker Bell, this
is no time to talk about love.

- I know just what to do.
- What?

- I should have thought it sooner.
- What?

- We are going to give her
the power of suggestion.
- What do you mean?

- With visual A*DS.
- What do you mean?

It's all very simple.

Just move over, mover over,
come on, get over, that's it.

Now then, Tinker Bell, my love.

Tinker Bell, I am a
fellow Saint Bernard.

And we... Tinker Bell, don't
resist me, don't resist me.

Listen to him. Listen
to him, Tinker Bell.

We are going up there and get
into the lovely swimming pool.

Here we go. Up we go.

- Here we go.
- Watch.

Tinker Bell, up we
go. There we are.

Tinker Bell, woof, woof.

Well Harry, I don't
think it's going to work.

You just don't look
like a Saint Bernard.

No, you look like a Bulldog.

You're asking for it, Lucille.

- All right.
- What?

- The customer wants
the dog washed?
- Yeah.

We'll wash her
right where she is.

- Are you kidding?
- No, I am not kidding.

Let's get with it.

All right, Kim dear, you
get the water, turn it on,

adjust it nice and warm.

Lucille, turn on the soap suds.

Well, it's going to
be kind of messy.

I don't care, we have to do it.

Let's do it. Come,
come, come, come.

Come on, it's his business.

Over there, get over, get over.

That's right. Get
the water on, dear.

I'm telling you, it's a lot easier
if we just get him over there.

I don't know.

- Is that... how is that doing?
- Well, I need a little more...

Come on Lucille, turn it on.

Just a minute, this darned
thing is a little erratic.

Well, I don't care if it's
erratic or not, turn it on.

What's the matter with
it? Come on, turn it on!

Oh, Harry!

Oh...

Harry!

What's the matter with you?

That's funny, Uncle Harry!

Oh, few, Mom. This has
really been some weekend.

Did you realize we even
missed church yesterday?

Well, we came close, we
spent it with a Saint Bernard.

Anyway, I know my
prayers were answered.

- I got off the hook
as chief dog washer.
- Yeah.

Now, I wonder how
the new boy doing?

Yeah, I wonder. Oh dog washer!

Hey, dog washer!

Well, how are you doing, Bertha?

I'm exhausted and flea-bitten.

Well, we could spray
later, Uncle Harry.

Yeah, well it will
all be worthwhile

as long as Mr. Williams
buys the boutique.

- Right. Let's just hope
this wasn't in vain.
- Right.

Good morning, ladies.

Oh, good morning!

Good morning!

There's another gender
here, Mr. Williams.

Why, Mr. Carter, you shouldn't
have spoiled the image.

I was just about ready
to ask you for a date.

I've never danced with
a girl with a mustache.

Oh, you are...

- Your dog is ready over there.
- You get Louie, yeah.

Louie was perfect
guest, Mr. Williams.

We had a lot of fun with him.

Yeah, he was a good boy.

- Well, that's a compliment
to me, you know.
- What?

There's no such
thing as a bad dog,

only bad parents.

How about that?

- Here you go.
- There's my boy.

There he is.

Such a joy having him with us.

You have no idea how
smart Louie is, Uncle Harry.

You should have seen
some of the things he did.

Oh, I'd love to see
the little rascal perform.

Perform?

Would you like to
see what he can do?

Oh, great. Look,
can you take this?

Oh, yes, sir.

And listen, fill that bowl
over there full of goodies.

- That will be his reward.
- Alright.

Louie!

- And ladies, could you move
that down just a little bit.
- Oh sure.

A little farther. A little more.

- How's that?
- Good, good.

Louie, this is going to
be the leap of the century.

- Could you hold this?
- Yeah.

Good. Now here we go.

Louie is going to
jump from here to here

on his hind legs only

and without a running start.

Give me his reward

and I put this down
here but he won't touch it

- until he makes the leap.
- Yeah.

Will you, my baby boy?

No.

Now, when I say
leap, that's your cue.

Are you ready?

Alright Louie, you got it?

Alright... no, I
haven't said it yet.

No. Louie... come here.

This isn't a dog
food commercial.

We'll try it again.

You know, I feel static
or something in here.

Are you ready precious?

Now leap, it's on
leap. You got it?

Alright, here we go.

Angel, now, jump my boy!

No, not again.

Louie baby, come here.

You bad boy.

And you didn't even say grace.

Hey, I feel some interference.

Who's thinking?

I'm not.

Oh, it couldn't be her.

It could be Harry but I
wasn't, I wasn't interfering.

Look what you've
done to my poor dog.

What do you mean?

Well, I could sue you for this.

No, you wouldn't do that.

Yeah, I've got a good
mind to buy the place

just to save it from other dogs.

Oh, you have a good mind...
you're not going to sue... you will,

you will buy the place?

Well, what's your
rock bottom price?



I can't hear you.



I still can't hear you.



I heard you that time.
You've got a deal.

Louie, you were
sensational. You were.

Sensational?

Wait a minute.

You taught him
not to do any tricks

and then you blamed it on us?

Well, he saved me


Harry, you have just
been taken by a dog.

Congratulations, Louie,

you did to Harry

what he has been
doing to people for years.