06x11 - The Carters Meets Frankie Avalon

[bunniefuu]

[announcer] Here's Lucy.

Starring: Lucille Ball

Co-starring: Gale Gordon

Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the Wilshire Room.

And now, we proudly
present the star of our show,

Frankie Avalon.

♪ Gee, but it's good to be here

♪ Frankly I feel right at home

♪ This is the
champagne with all the fizz

♪ This is where
the excitement is

♪ Gee, but it's good to be here

♪ I wouldn't
miss it for the world

♪ It's my considered
opinion that

♪ The place to be
is the place I'm at

♪ I couldn't be more sincere

♪ Gee, but it's good to be...

♪ Do you hear my
voice, where you are

♪ Take a train

♪ Steal a car

♪ Hop a freight

♪ Grab a star

♪ And stay where you are

♪ If a date waits below

♪ Let him wait for to go

♪ Come by mail or by rail

♪ COD!

♪ Gee, but it's good to be here

♪ I wouldn't
miss it for the world

♪ It's my considered
opinion that

♪ The place to be
is the place I'm at

♪ And I couldn't be more sincere

♪ Because gee,
but it's good to be

♪ Here right here now

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen.

Before I go any further now, I've
been out in the audience with you.

How about someone coming
up here on stage with me?

Preferably an
attractive young lady.

How about you young lady?

Oh.

Come on folks,
let's hear it for her.

- Hi.
- Hi.

What's your name?

Car... Kim Carter.

Kim Carter. Kim,
I've got to ask you,

have you ever performed
on stage before?

Well, yeah, but
not professionally.

That's what the critics
keep saying about me.

Oh.

Tell us something
about yourself, Kim,

what do you do?

Well, I work.

I'm a receptionist
at a talent agency.

- A receptionist?
- Yes.

Oh, you're the girl who says
don't call us, we'll call you.

No, but I'd never
say that to you.

Oh, yes you would if you
knew that behind this makeup

was a tired old family man.

Well, you certainly don't
look like that to me Mr. Avalon

but I have read about
what a big family you have.

That's right.

I have seven kids
and I'm married

but not necessarily
in that order.

How old are all
of your children?

Let's see, my kids,

they're between the
ages of one and 10.

I can't give you the exact ages
because you see, with seven kids,

we even have trouble
remembering their names.

You could just call them
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday...

That would have been
a great idea but you see,

I think it's too late for that now,
we have an eighth on the way.

Oh. Congratulations.

Oh my gosh.

Thank you, thank you,
that's very nice of you, Kim.

Most girls are afraid even
to shake hands with me.

Now Kim, I got to tell you, the
reason I invited you up here tonight

was to help me with a little
sing song we're going to do.

You see, this is the
story of two people,

a boy and a girl,
you play the girl part.

They're on their first date,
they're very much in love,

they look into
each other's eyes.

If I'm going to
look into your eyes,

I think you may have
to take off your shoes.

OK.

- OK. Now, let me ask you,
are you nervous?
- Yes, a little bit.

Well, you shouldn't be,

you said you've
been on stage before.

Well, this is the first time
I've ever been on stage

and started taking things off.

Now you got me nervous.

Come on, let's sit over here.

Now remember this scene,

story of two people
on their first date,

- they're having their first drink.
- OK.

They're very much in love.

He looks into her eyes

and he wants to tell
her exactly how he feels.

That's a little
light mood for us.

- You got it now?
- I think I do.

OK. Here we go.

♪ You're just
too good to be true

♪ Can't take my eyes off of you

♪ You'd be like heaven to touch

♪ I want to grab you so much

♪ At long last love has arrived

♪ And I thank God I'm alive

♪ You're just
too good to be true

♪ Can't take my eyes off of you

Well, I've done my part,
Kim. Now it's your turn.

Do you know the
words of this song?

What song?

The song I was just singing?

Oh, that song.

Oh, well now, I'm
not too sure right now.

Well, don't worry about
it Kim, if you get stuck,

I just so happen to
have a cue card here

and that's your part
where it says girl

and here is your microphone.

Now, anytime you feel it,

OK, here we go.

♪ You're just
too good to be true

Very good.

♪ Can't take my eyes off of you

I think I got a winner tonight.

♪ You'd be like heaven to touch

Oh, I like that part there.

♪ I want to hold you so much

- Grab.
- ♪ Grab you so much

She's got it.

♪ At long last love has arrived

Ah, that's pretty, Kim.

♪ And I thank God I'm alive

She's alive alright.

♪ You're just
too good to be true

I try to be good.

♪ Can't take my eyes off of you

Let's hear it for Kim,
everybody, come on.

♪ I love you baby

♪ And if it's quite all
right I need you baby

♪ To warm the lonely nights

♪ I love you baby

♪ Trust in me when I say

♪ Oh pretty baby

♪ Don't bring me down I pray

♪ Oh pretty baby,

♪ Now that I've found you stay

♪ And let me love you baby

♪ Let me love you

Kim, did you have fun up here?

Yeah.

Let's hear it for
Kim Carter folks.

You were great.

Oh, you were just wonderful.

Thank you. Oh, I
forgot my shoes.

I'll get them, darling.

Well, I'm her mother.

She was very good, wasn't she?

Oh yeah.

Oh, and you were very good too.

Thanks.

Hit it, Vic.

Yeah, hit it Vic, go ahead.

Go ahead.

You heard the lady, hit it, Vic.

Oh, Hollywood,

I love that word Hollywood.

You know, even back in
the heydays of Hollywood,

some of the biggest stars
would make a screen test

if there was a part
they really wanted.

For instance,

this is what it was
like back in 1941,

stage 23 at Warner Brothers.

The part was being tested
for the role of the great

George M. Cohan.

In the picture,
Yankee Doodle Dandy.

Now, here are a few stars

who made the screen
test for that role.

Mr. Wayne, Mr. John Wayne?

I do a short John Wayne.

Well, if it's good for
you, it's good for me.

Mr. Wayne,

Mr. Wayne, are you ready
to take your screen test

at this time?

Well, you're darn
right I am, tiger.

Now you know it's a
singing dancing role.

Well, I got you there, tiger.

Very well then, from the top.

♪ I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy

♪ A Yankee Doodle, do or die

♪ Yankee Doodle went
to town riding on a pony

♪ I'm a Yankee Doodle Guy

Dance Mr. Wayne.

Mr. Lugosi,

Mr. Bela Lugosi please.

Now what do you want?

Are you ready to
take your screen test?

Well, you're darn right I am.

Well, are you prepared
to sing and dance?

You mean, I don't bite the neck?

No, you don't bite the neck.

- But I want to bite.
- No biting.

- I like to bite.
- You can't bite.

- Let me bite.
- You're not going to bite.

I won't bite.

- Alright.
- Alright.

From the top.

♪ I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy

♪ A Yankee Doodle, do or die

♪ Yankee Doodle went
to town riding on a pony

♪ I'm a Yankee Doodle Guy

Dance Mr. Lugosi.

But the one man,

the one man who won the role,

who won the great Academy Award

was the dynamic, the
versatile, James Cagney.

♪ I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy

♪ A Yankee Doodle, do or die

♪ A real live nephew
of my Uncle Sam

♪ Born on the Fourth of July

♪ Now, Yankee
Doodle went to town

♪ Just to ride a pony

♪ I'm a Yankee Doodle Guy

♪ Now, Yankee
Doodle went to town

♪ Just to ride a pony

♪ I'm a Yankee Doodle

♪ Guy

- Good evening.
- Good evening.

- Ms. Carter...
- Yes?

I'm the entertainment
director here.

Monday night, we're
having a talent night.

- A show featuring some
new young performers.
- I see.

Oh yeah, I was
just reading about it

and it says the
first prize is $500.

- $500?
- Yeah.

We'd like you to appear
if you'd be interested.

Oh, well, that's very flattering

but I don't think I'd
care to do that, no.

Well, if you change your
mind, will you give us a call?

Well, yes, I'll think about it.

Thank you, goodnight.

My god.

Honey, what have
you got to think about?

Oh, mother, what could
I do in a talent contest?

Well, you could sing.

What about that
imitation you do of Cher

when you play your
Sonny and Cher records?

Mother, now that's just
fine for you around the house

but you can't get up at a
night club and do Cher alone.

First of all, I need a Sonny.

Kim dear, I have a mustache
and I've watched Sonny...

Oh, Harry, for $500
you'd do anything.

Uncle Harry, a
mimic you are not.

Yeah, but I know who
is and he likes you, Kim.

Who?

Frankie Avalon and he's
just the right size for Sonny.

Now listen, honey,

I'd bet if I went back to his
dressing room right now...

Oh now, mother, you
just forget all about this.

Now, we came here to
enjoy ourselves, let's do that,

let's just order dinner
and forget about it.

Hi-ya, Frankie.

Hello, Jack.

Thought I'd drop
back between shows?

I've got some good news.

Yeah?

Remember, after you
close here Sunday night,

- you're scheduled to open
Las Vegas Tuesday.
- Yeah.

Well, I just booked
a concert for you

on that open date we had,

Monday the 14th.

Jack, Jack, just forget it.

The 14th will be the only
day I've had open in six weeks.

But Frankie, this is a big
concert in San Francisco

and they're willing
to pay top money.

Jack, Jack, I don't care
what they're willing to pay.

I want that date open.

I got to spend some
time with my family.

For six weeks, I've
been out on the road

and Kaye has been stuck
at home with seven kids.

OK.

Five minutes, Mr. Avalon.

Well, maybe I better
get back to the office

and cancel that concert

but I think you're crazy
tossing away all that dough.

Just forget it, I'll see
you after the show.

Come in.

Hello.

Hi.

I'll bet you don't remember me.

Mrs. Carter, you could
lose a lot of money

betting people
don't remember you.

Oh, thank you.

Now, what can I do for you?

Well, it's about
my daughter Kim.

Oh yeah, lovely
girl, what about her?

Well, I came back to tell you

that Mr. Collins here
at the club, you know,

was so impressed with her
when she sang in your act

that he invited her to
appear on the talent show.

Hey, that's great.

You don't know how
good that makes me feel

when I get a chance to be a
part of somebody's success.

Oh, I knew you'd say yes.

Yes to what?

Well, Kim decided that
if she was in the show,

she would like to do an
impersonation of Cher,

you know, of Sonny and Cher.

So?

So, to do this, she's
going to need a Sonny.

Mrs. Carter, I think you
came to the wrong store.

But she needs a Sonny.

Then go see Sonny.

Well, I don't know Sonny.

I do, I'll give his address.

Oh, I couldn't go to a big
star like that, Mr. Avalon.

I mean, he doesn't
even know Kim.

Mrs. Carter now, I
don't mean to be rude,

but I just got a
five minute call

and I do have
to finish dressing.

Oh, well...

See, I've got to get out
there and yeah, that...

No, not that one, this one
is much more becoming,

this one.

Here, let me help you.

I was noticing your hair,
it's absolutely beautiful.

Mr. Avalon, you're so
wonderful at impersonations.

You know, and besides,
it's only for one night.

It's just Monday the 14th.

- The 14th?
- Uh-huh.

Mrs. Carter, I just cancelled
a very important engagement

in San Francisco on the 14th.

Oh, that's good, then
you'll be available.

No, no, no, what I'm trying
to tell you is that on the 14th,

the only place I'll be
available is at home.

Oh.

Excuse me.

Oh, here, let me.

There you are.

You know, Mr. Avalon,

this really means so
much to my daughter.

I'd like her to have
the opportunity

to appear in front
of a lot of people.

And I'd like the
opportunity to go home

and appear in front
of a lot of people.

Mrs. Carter, really, really,

you don't have to
help me get dressed.

Oh, I'm enjoying.

Dressing you is like when
my son was a little boy.

Your son, why don't you
get him to play Sonny?

Oh, he's much too tall.

With all the vitamins and
everything they've got today,

it's hard to find
anyone short enough.

I'm flattered of having
such a unique talent.

Excuse me please.

Uh, uh, that's the wrong one.

This is the little beauty.

There we are. Yes, sir.

Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, that's beautiful.

I love the way you look.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Mr. Avalon, you
can't turn me down.

Let's be fair, you
owe it to my daughter.

I owe it to her?

Well, she got up and
helped you with your act.

The least you could do
is help her with her act.

Now, now, wait a
minute Mrs. Carter...

And besides, it was
girls like my daughter

that helped you become a star.

She was buying your records
even before you could sing.

Mrs. Carter, now wait a minute,

I would love to help Kim out

but how would it look
for me professionally

to suddenly be out
appearing in a talent contest?

Oh, you don't have
to worry about that.

When you get on a wig
and a mustache like Sonny's,

nobody will even know you.

I'm away from home so much,

my own family
doesn't even know me.

That's why I had my agent cancel

that very important
engagement in San Francisco.

But look, you can be with
your family all that day.

This will only take
about an hour.

You're on, Mr. Avalon.

Yeah, yeah, well, he'll be
right out, he'll be right out.

Now look, Mr. Avalon,

I appreciate your wanting
to be with your family

and I realized
that I'm asking a lot

but I'm sure your wife
is a wonderful mother

and a very sweet person

and I know that being a mother,

if you explain my side
of it, she'll understand.

I guess I can
explain it to my wife.

Oh, oh...

But I don't know how I'll
ever explain it to my agent.

Well, oh...

♪ To reach the unreachable star.

How about that, very good,

very good, an 89.

That's the highest
rating our applause meter

has shown so far
tonight, very good.

But, we still have another act.

Now, the billing I
have on this act reads

Kim Carter and friend

but tonight, tonight,
they're Sonny and Cher.

♪ They say we're
young and we don't know

♪ Won't find out until we grow

♪ Well I don't
know why that's true

♪ Cause you got
me and baby I got you

♪ Babe

♪ I got You Babe

♪ I got you babe

♪ They say our love
won't pay the rent,

♪ Before it's earned
our money's all been spent

♪ I guess that's so
we don't have a pot

♪ But at least I'm sure
of all the thing we've got

♪ Babe

♪ I got You Babe

♪ I got you babe

Hold it! Hold it!

Hold the music.

Cher, Cher, you're
supposed to sing the high part,

I sing low.

Yeah, the lowest.

Ah Cher,

Cher, can't you be
nice to me tonight?

I'm always nice to you Goombah.

No you're not.

In the old days, my
fiery Italian charm

had you climbing the walls.

Only to get away.

And just for that, I'm not
going to tell you my big surprise.

You're going to
sing on key tonight?

Cher,

Cher, they've asked me
to appear as a guest star

on g*n Smoke.

Oh, what part of the
horse are you going to play?

Oh, no.

Oh, no. I'm not going
to bite on that one.

The part you'd
play doesn't bite.

♪ I got flowers in the spring

♪ I got you to wear my ring

♪ And when I'm
sad, you're a clown

♪ And if I get scared
you're always around

♪ Let them say
your hairs too long

♪ I don't care with
you I can't do wrong

♪ I got you to hold my hand -

♪ I got you to understand

♪ I got you to walk with me -

♪ I got you to talk with me

♪ I got you to kiss good night-

♪ I got you to hold me tight

♪ I got you I won't let go -

♪ I got you to love me so

♪ Babe,

♪ I got you babe

♪ I got you babe.

♪ I got you babe.

How about that?

Wow, that is the highest rating

our applause meter
has ever registered.

A big 97 and that
means that this act,

Kim Carter and Friend
has just won our first prize.

Congratulations, Kim.

You know, from what I have
seen, it wouldn't surprise me at all

if someday, you were to
be a big star just like Cher.

Thank you very much.

And you know, you're
very talented too.

You may never become
a big star like Sonny

but folks, I think if he
just got rid of that wig

and shaved off the mustache,

why, who knows, you might
become another Frankie Avalon.

Frankie Avalon,
he's my favorite.

Surf's up!

♪ Beach blanket bingo

♪ Beach blanket bingo

♪ Beach blanket bingo

♪ That's the name of the game.

Surf's up!