06x22 - Lucy Carter Meets Lucille Ball

[bunniefuu]

[announcer] Here's Lucy

Starring: Lucille Ball

Co-starring: Gale Gordon

and Lucie Arnaz

Hurry up, Mother.

That movie we wanted to
see is just about going on.

OK, darling.

Look, uh,

I'll go upstairs and get into
something more comfortable

and you keep track of the story

- so you could fill me in, OK?
- OK, but hurry up.

All right.

[TV] And now, folks,
tonight's feature picture.

But first,

this exciting message for
you ladies in the office...

I knew it.

Friends here we are at
the famous Hollywood studio

and the popular star of
the screen, Ms. Lucille Ball

is going to interrupt
her rehearsals

to acquaint you with
the glamor of Mais Oui,

our fabulous new perfume.

And here she is,

just as she appears in the
title role of her latest production,

Ms. Lucille Ball.

- Hi, Tom.
- Hi, Lucille.

Tell me how long has it been

since you appeared
in a motion picture

as a brunette?

I won't tell.

I consider anything
that might date me

as classified information.

Now, Tom, how about
telling our viewers

about the Lucille
Ball lookalike contest?

I'll be happy to.

Our lookalike contest
is sponsored by

the makers of Mais Oui perfume

and first prize is this luxury
model sports convertible,

completely equipped including

an eight-track stereo tape deck.

Oh, wow.

How would you like
to win this little beauty?

Would I?

Now, each finalist

will perform her own version
of our singing commercial.

So, listen carefully.

♪ Does the man
you love ignore you

♪ When you're
longing to be kissed

♪ Do you wish
you could entice him

♪ In a way he can't resist

♪ Then use a little Mais Oui

♪ So his nose knows you exist

♪ Spray it

♪ Dab it

♪ Make it a habit

♪ Use Mais Oui perfume

And now, folks,
tonight's feat...

What are you doing?

I'm going to try and win
a brand new sports car.

How?

Oh, I just saw a
television commercial

and they're sponsoring a
Lucille Ball lookalike contest.

So?

So? All of my friends happen
to think that I look like her?

Oh, that's ridiculous.

She's old enough
to be your mother.

Anyway, I do look like her

especially now that
she's a brunette.

She's a brunette?

Yeah, we know in her new film.

Oh?

Well, I failed to see
the resemblance.

Oh, come on,
Mother. Now, be fair.

You don't mind when
people say I look like you.

Well, of course not.

Well, everybody we know

says that you kind of
look like Lucille Ball.

I may look like
Lucille Ball now,

but when I was young, I
look like Ingrid Bergman.

I'm not about to pass up a
chance to win that convertible.

I've just got to take
a shot at that contest.

We will confirm this
little of agreement.

Just sign it. Yours
truly, Harrison Carter.

- Harry?
- Yes?

Is Harrison spelled
with one R or two R's?

You've been working
for me for 10 years.

How have you been spelling it?

With three R's.

Three R's?

Well, that way, it
looks like a typo

and it's up to
them to figure it out.

I wish I could figure you out.

You have been in
a trance all morning.

Well, I'm sorry, Harry,

but Kim went over to
audition for that contest

and I'm so anxious to
hear how she made out

that I'm... I'm
just not with it.

Well, you better get with it

or you will be
auditioning for another job.

Now, get busy.

Yes, sir.

Ugh.

- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, Uncle Harry.

- Oh, hi, darling.
- Hello, dear.

How did you make out?

Well, I don't know.

They said they'd give me a call,

but I think it's the brush.

What makes you think that?

Well, there were
two other girls there

who were asked to
stay for an interview

and they didn't even look as
much like Lucille Ball as I do.

Well, I can
understand Lucille Ball

letting a think
like that happen.

Lucille Ball wasn't even there.

She wasn't?

But, Kim, dear,
your mother told me

that Ms. Ball was going to
judge the contest personally.

Well, she wasn't at
all in the auditions.

Maybe, she's just
going to judge the finals.

Well, that's not right.

She should be there
right from the beginning.

At least I gave it a try.

Listen, I better
get back to my job.

Oh, no, now,
don't give up, dear.

They may still call you.

I hope so.

I could just see myself sitting
in a brand new convertible

listening to an eight-track
stereo tape deck.

- Goodbye, Uncle Harry.
- Goodbye dear.

Bye-bye, darling.

Oh, that poor kid.

Harry, I think I'll go
over to that studio

and see if I can appeal
to Lucille Ball in person.

Oh no.

Well, Kim is my daughter
and I'm her mother

and I've got to do something.

Well, I tell you
what you can do.

You can type up that
letter of agreement.

Mr. Johnson will be here
to sign it this afternoon.

Oh, Harry, he's not
due here until 4 o'clock.

I'll be back by then.

You better be or I'll
come looking for you.

Don't worry.

And don't do anything to
embarrass yourself or Ms. Ball.

She's a big star

and she should be treated
with the utmost respect.

Well, I didn't know
you were such a big fan.

Oh, I've always admired her.

Oh, yes, I think she's
positively fascinating.

Well, thank you, Harry.
That's very flattering.

Why should you be flattered?

Well, all my life, people have
said we are very much alike.

That's true, but
she overcame it.

She overcame it.

Please get in, Mrs. Carter.

Ms. Ball is very busy arranging
for the, uh, annual charity ball

given by the SHARE organization.

So, she suggested
you just wait here.

Oh... my, what a beautiful room.

Do you mind if I look around?

No, of course.

Ah...

Oh, are all these photos
from her new musical picture?

Yes, aren't they beautiful?

Oh, yes.

You know, I'm so used to
seeing Ms. Ball as a redhead.

Seems funny seeing
her as a brunette.

Oh?

Well, how do you
think she looks best?

With a hat on.

I mean... I think she
looks good in hats.

Ooh, is that her husband?

Yes, that's Gary.

Um, I bet she had a hat
on when she grabbed him.

Ms. Ball will be
with you in a minute.

Why don't you just
make yourself at home?

Oh, thank you, I will.

Thank you.

Well...

Mrs. Carter.

Yes?

My secretary said you insisted
on seeing me personally.

Yes.

But I didn't mean
to sound insistent.

I'm not one to be pushy.

Oh, well, I'm sure you're not.

Now, what magazine was it you
told my secretary you are from?

I, uh... I forgot.

What?

Well, I'm not... I'm not
really from a magazine.

You mean that was just
a ruse to get to see me?

Yes.

Ha-ha-ha!

You're not angry?

How could I be?

That's the way I got to
see my first producer.

I pretended I was a
lady journalist to get in.

I had to pretend I was a
policewoman to get out.

Oh, that's funny.

- Won't you sit down.
- Oh, thank you.

Now, what can I do for you?

Well, I... I came to see you
about that lookalike contest.

My, there is quite
a resemblance.

You mean, we look alike?

We even smell alike.

Oh.

Well, I... I tried a little
dab of your perfume.

I... I hope you don't
mind. It's very nice.

It's Mais Oui, the
brand I advertise on TV.

I'll give you a bottle.

Oh, oh... thank you, but
I couldn't let you do that.

Why not?

Like I told you
before, I'm not pushy.

Well, I am.

And right now, I'm
pushing Mais Oui.

I'll get you a bottle.

- Here you are.
- Oh, thank you.

Now, dear.

You said you wanted to see
me about the lookalike contest?

Yes. Yes, Ms. Ball,
but it's not about me.

It's about my daughter.

You see, she auditioned
for the contest and... Well,

I think she's getting
the runaround.

A runaround?

Well, you see,
they picked two girls

who don't look nearly as much
like you as my daughter does

and they said they'd call her

and so far, she hasn't
heard from them.

You know, one of those don't
call us, we will call you thing.

Well, I have no say in the
supervising of the auditions.

But that doesn't seem fair.

You know, you're certainly the
best judge of who looks like you

and you should be right
in on the ground floor.

Really, Mrs. Carter.

There are a lot of
things that I'd like to do

that I just don't have time for.

But, Ms. Ball, if you saw how
much my daughter looks like you,

maybe, you could
use your influence

to get her in the finals.

Look, I, um... I have
her picture right here.

Hmm...

Well, now, there
is a resemblance,

but frankly, you look more
like me than she does.

Not really.

She looks a lot more
like you, like you used to.

I mean, she has your color.

Mrs. Carter, you're the one
who should be in the contest.

Well, now, that... that
wouldn't seem right.

It was her idea to
be in the contest.

I wouldn't think of competing
against my own daughter.

Why don’t you
think of it this way?

With both of you in the contest,

you have twice as
much chance of winning.

No wonder you got to the top.

Here.

Try this on.

Oh.

Now, then. Slip into that.

Oh.

Now, let's see how you look.

Gosh, I look as much
like a star as you do.

Ah... yeah.

Look, phone the man who
produces my television commercials

and recommend that your
daughter be included in the contest.

Oh, thank you. That's wonderful.

And... I'm also going to suggest
that they add an extra finalist.

You.

Oh.

Hi, love.

Hi.

Honey, if you don't mind,

I'm going to go out
to the golf course.

Why would I mind?

Well, you’re the best
wife a guy ever had.

I think I'll play 18
holes before dinner.

If you're sure you don't mind.

On second thought,

I think I'll only
play nine holes.

Why don't you try to
get home a little early?

Wow.

I'm sorry.

He thought I was...

Forget it. It's on the house.

He seems to be
very affectionate.

When he gets involved in golf,
he doesn't even know I'm alive.

He does now.

For someone who isn't pushy,
you sure get a lot of action.

Ms. Ball, there's a
man here to see you.

Ms. Ball isn't here.

I'm sorry, but I've already
told him you're here.

Mr. Carter?

This is Ms. Ball.

Hi, how do you do, Ms. Ball?

I must say it is indeed a
thrill meeting you in person.

My pleasure, Mr. Carter.

Yeah. Oh, thank you.

Oh... Oh, I can... I do hope
you'll forgive the intrusion,

but I'm looking for a lady

who said she was coming
to the studio to see you.

A redhead?

Oh, well, in a
grotesque sort of way.

She has hair that's extremely
bright and a brain that isn't.

Well, I do seem to
remember, uh, having a visitor

that matches that description.

Her name is Mrs. Carter.

Oh, your wife?

Oh. Heavens to Betsy, no.

No, no, no. She's my
sister-in-law and secretary

and I wish I could
replace both of them.

Well, the lady you're
looking for has already gone.

I'm terribly sorry.

Oh, no need to be sorry at all.

Meeting you has made
the trip worthwhile.

Thank you.

I must say, Ms. Ball,

you are... You're as
beautiful as you are talented.

Oh, thank you very much.

Mrs. Carter didn't mention
that she has such an attractive

brother-in-law.

Oh... Thank you.

I, uh... I do hope
I'll have the privilege

of seeing you again sometime.

That would be nice.
How about Friday?

Oh, uh, Friday?

- Dinner perhaps?
- Dinner perhaps.

Where?

Well, I, uh, I have to
attend a big Hollywood ball

and I could use
an attractive escort.

Oh, I'd be delighted.

Good. Then, I'll put
you down for two tickets.

Tickets?

It's for a charity
I'm involved in.

That will be $200.

$200... Two...
hundred... dollars.

Yes, well, of course, that
includes dinner, entertainment,

table prizes, and
then, of course,

every year, there's
an exciting door prize.

What kind of a door prize?

Well, now, uh, if you
play your cards right,

it might be me.
Are you interested?

Yeah.

Oh... I have... One thing I
admire it's a... a charitable lady.

Oh, you dear boy.

Where... where
shall I pick you up?

At my home.

And where is your home?

If you don't know
where I live by now,

you're a bigger dumb-dumb
than I thought you were.

What?

It's me Harry.

Ha-ha-ha!

Why you...?

Lucille?

Lucille... Lucille...

Oh Harry, can't you take a joke?

Not a 200-dollar joke.

Give me back my money.

Oh, Mrs. Carter?

Now, you wait right here.

I'll be right back.

You bet I'll wait here.

I just talked to my
producer and, so far,

they have only
picked two contestants

so they accepted
you and your daughter

on my recommendation.

Oh, thank you. I
do appreciate it.

Here.

Oh, really, Mrs. Carter.

I hope you don't
think I'd stoop to...

Oh, no, no, no. It's not that.

Mr. Carter, my brother-in-law
came here looking for me

and I... I sold him two
tickets to your charity ball.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Is he still here?

Yes, he is.

Well, I must thank
the dear sweet man.

Oh, he'd love that.

Oh, Mr. Carter?

Mr. Carter?

Don't you Mr. Carter me.

Now, take off that stupid wig and
get back to the office because...

Impetuous little fellow.

He thought you were me.

Harry, this is Ms. Ball.

Ah... oh... hello.

Ah... goodbye.

Oh... she... she was...
I thought you were her,

but... that was... I...

Wasn't that funny?

I knew that temper would
catch up with him someday.

Did you see the
expression on his face?

Oh, and I wish you could have
seen the expression on your face.

Honestly, it was so funny.

I bet.

Oh, you do have a
wonderful sense of humor.

Well, I better be
going, Ms. Ball.

Oh, you can keep
that wig for the contest.

Thank you. I appreciate that.

Oh, and thanks for the perfume.

Oh... I still have something
that belongs to you.

And I have something
that belongs to you.

What?

Ha-ha-ha!

And now, folks, the
makers of Mais Oui perfume,

present the three finalists

of our Lucille Ball
lookalike contest.

And here to present our
finalists is our own Ms. Lucille Ball.

And now, our last three
contestants are ready to perform

their own original lyrics

to our Mais Oui
singing commercial.

Our first finalist,
Ms. Kim Carter.

♪ In Rome's street corner
Romeos make modest women flinch

♪ They crowd her on the sidewalk

♪ And refused to budge an inch

♪ When she calls for a policeman

♪ They blame
Mais Oui for the pinch

♪ Spray it

♪ Dab it

♪ Make it a habit

♪ Use Mais Oui perfume

And here is our second finalist,

Ms. Cynthia Duncan.

♪ If you want a
man who wants you

♪ And you want him for a groom

♪ You can make
him play it your way

♪ With a spray of a perfume

♪ And you'll wind
up in a bridal suite

♪ And not some motel room

♪ Spray it

♪ Dab it

♪ Make it a habit

♪ Use Mais Oui perfume

And now, our third
contest, Mrs. Lucy Carter.

♪ If you want that chic aroma

♪ That gives a lady class

♪ And you'd like
to have a love life

♪ That really is a gas

♪ And be on the receiving end

♪ Of the next Joe Namath pass

♪ Spray it

♪ Dab it

♪ Make it a habit

♪ Use Mais Oui perfume

Now, we may have the
ladies back on stage, please.

And the winner is...

I thought all the
contestants were fabulous,

but for performance and a
voice as un-musical as mine,

I have to pick Mrs. Lucy Carter.

Congratulations, Mrs. Carter.

Thank you.

Happy birthday, doll.

Oh, thanks, Mom.

- Mrs. Carter. Don't go.
- Yes.

Perhaps you'd like to
say a few words to our...

- Oh, yes, Mrs.
Carter, - Oh, no.

- Just a few words, really.
- Oh, no, no.

- Please, just... please.
- I don't know what to say.

- I'd be too embarrassed.
- Please, just a few words.

- No, really...
- Mrs. Carter, if you will, please,

Right there, dear

Well... I have no idea...

Well, this is certainly the
happiest moment of my life.

I've never won a
lookalike contest before

or any contest for that matter.

And I'll do my best to
live up to this great honor

in the tradition of all the lovely
lookalike winners before me.

- Thank you, Mrs. Carter...
- Ever since I was a little girl,

I always want to
look like somebody,

anybody,

and I want the makers
of Mais Oui perfume

to know that I will
do everything I can

to represent them in a way

that will make them very proud.

I'll do my best to
promote goodwill

and make new friends
for this great country

as I travel
throughout the world.

You don't even leave town.

It's just the car. That's it.

Until tonight, there was
something missing in my life.

You don't know what it is
to have a want for something

and not know
what it is you want.

I know what you're going to get.

May I say, this is the
happiest moment of my life.

I never dreamed
that somebody I...

Ah, shut up.

Oh, thank you.

I would be fortunate enough

to stand here in front
of you beautiful people...