06x24 - Lucy Fights the System

[bunniefuu]

[announcer] Here's Lucy

Starring: Lucille Ball

Co-starring: Gale Gordon

and Lucie Arnaz.

Hi, Harry.

Well, it's about
time you got back.

Well, I'm not late.

I was just out on my lunch hour.

I know, I know, but
when we're busy,

I think you could cut your
lunch hour a little short.

Oh, Harry, isn't that
a little inconsiderate

to begrudge an employee
one single hour for lunch?

Alright, alright, but I'm
trying to finish my work

and I cannot find
the Costello account.

Well, here it is right
under the blotter

so you wouldn't have
any trouble finding it.

What are you doing?

Well, I'm having my lunch.

You just came back
from your lunch hour.

But I didn't have time to eat.

I had some shopping to do.

You shop on your lunch hour,

then you come back
here and eat on my time?

Well, Harry, if I ate
lunch on my time,

then I'd have to do my
shopping on your time.

That wouldn't be fair.

Well, how thoughtful.

Well Harry, really,

I do not know why you
have to be so grouchy

to me after all the years
I have worked for you.

That is your trouble.

You have worked here so
long, you take the job for granted.

You have no
enthusiasm, no initiative,

- you don't care.
- All right, Harry. All right.

- You don't care at all.
- Alright, alright,
OK, OK, OK, OK...

Nothing. Nothing at all!

Oh, good afternoon,
may I help you?

I hope so.

I'm looking for a job

and this is the fifth
agency I've been to today.

Oh. Well, come right in, please.

Thank you.

And have a seat,

make yourself comfortable,

and we'll see what
we can do for you.

Now then, what is your name?

Mary Winters.

Miss or Mrs?

Miss but I'm still looking.

I see.

And what kind of work
do you do Ms. Winters?

I'm a waitress.

Well, you certainly
came to the right place.

Welcome to Carter's cafeteria.

Oh...

Is that your boss?

Yes.

I don't like him.

Well, he's alright once
you get to know him.

I hope I'm not going to
be out of work that long.

Well, now Ms. Winters,
where did you last work?

At a restaurant called
Harvey's Welcome Inn.

It's a small but a very nice
neighborhood, bar and restaurant.

Hmm-hmm.

And how long did you work there?

Since the place
opened 10 years ago.



Oh, I'm still there

but they gave me
my two weeks’ notice.

Not satisfied with your work?

Oh, it's not my work.

They're not
satisfied with my age.

Oh...

It seems the management feels

it's better to have
someone younger.

Yes.

Well tell me, did your
boss object to anything else

besides your age?

Well, he did say I
didn't smile enough.

It's hard to smile
when your feet hurt.

I know what you mean.

But I always gave my
customers the best service.

Hmm-hmm. How old
were the other waitresses?

There aren't any.

None?

No.

I take care of the dining area,

take the drink
orders from the bar,

handle the reservations,
and act as cashier.

Well, no wonder your feet hurt.

Tell me, what started
this youth policy,

the restaurant under some
new young management?

No. Harvey Stevens is the owner.

- He has been there since it opened.
- Hmm-hmm.

But he just recently turned 40

and it's had a
psychological effect on him.

How?

Well, he is one of those
men that can't face the fact

- that he's facing middle age.
- Hmm-hmm.

Now, he's on a youth kick.

Oh, you ought to see him.

He has let his hair grow,

he's got those icky sideburns,

he's got a crazy mustache.

And when he comes to work,

he wears those mad
clothes like the kids wear.

Sounds like a character.

- He looks like a character.
- Yeah.

Would you believe that he is
looking for a young waitress

with a college education?

Yeah. Well, that seems
to be the trend today,

young people with college
diplomas in restaurant management.

You see, they're trying
to get practical experience

by working as waiters
and waitresses.

Well, I still say that
a college diploma

doesn't give you
that personal touch.

I agree.

I may serve a lot of dishes I
don't even know how to spell

but I'm right in there

when it comes to conning
a kid into eating his spinach.

Well, good for you.

Now look, don't you worry,
there are lots of places

that could use a
good waitress like you.

Oh, I hope so.

At my age, it isn't easy
running around looking for a job.

Yeah. Well, from now on,
I'll do the running around.

Now, where can I reach you?

Oh, my phone number is 555-9786.

OK.

Now, you go home and
rest and get off your feet

and don't you
worry about a thing.

Oh, thank you.
You've been very kind.

- My pleasure dear.
- Oh. That's so nice of you.

I'll get in touch with you.
Now, don't you worry.

- Goodbye, thank you.
- Bye-bye.

Harry, you know, I feel
so sorry for that woman.

After 10 years, losing her
job just because of her age.

Well, we see a lot of
that in our business.

You know, I can appreciate a
place liking young employees

but I still say there is no
substitute for experience.

Well, who knows,

maybe her boss will
hire a young waitress

who will turn out
to be a dingaling,

then he'll wish he
had this one back.

That's an idea.

What is?

If we got her boss
some young waitress

who was incompetent
and kind of cookie,

maybe he wouldn't want
to get rid of Ms. Winters.

Our agency doesn't represent
cookie incompetent clients.

Well, the young waitress wouldn't
have to be one of our clients.

Lucille, you are not that young.

I'm not but Kim is.

Now, the owner is looking
for a girl with a college diploma

in Restaurant Management.

Lucille, I don't remember
Kim having such a diploma.

No, but I have one in our
files that belongs to that girl

that moved to Pittsburgh.

I think her name is
Barkfield, Sally Barkfield.

Lucille, you can't give
someone's diploma to...

Now, listen Harry, for once
you came up with a great idea,

now don't fight it.

But Lucille, please!
You have no idea how...

Harry, listen, there are a lot of
companies who will not do business

with our agency just
because of our age.

Now is our chance to fight back.

I'm going to call Kim right now.

- Charlie!
- Yeah?

We don't need any more
stock for the bar for the night?

Well, I need a jar of olives
and some maraschino cherries.

Right.

- Hey, Harvey!
- Hmm?

Do you think you did the right
thing in giving Mary her notice?

Charlie, you got
to go with the times.

Now, that goes
whether you are a person

or a place of
business or whatever.

If you're going to outrun it,
you got to have an in place

and you got to have in people.

I suppose it's going
to be me next, huh?

Not if you go with the times.

You got to get with it, man.

Hey, boss! Hey, boss!

Look, I've been cooking
this for three hours

but your blue jeans,
they won't fade.

Maybe you should
add a little bit of salt.

I even put in some oregano.

Tony, why would you put
oregano in with my blue jeans?

In my country, you put
oregano in everything.

Tony, I want you to stay with it

because I want to wear
those to the beach tomorrow

when I go surfing.

See, I don't want
to look square.

Alright.

- Hey!
- What?

- I know what I'll do.
- What?

I'll put in some tomato paste.

- Hey, Harvey...
- Yeah?

- You know,
about that surfing.
- What about it?

A guy your age, don't you
think you'd feel out of place

with all of those young hippies?

No.

When I grow my beard,
I'll look as old as they do.

Excuse me, are you the owner?

Right on.

Oh, I had no idea the owner
would be so young, so groovy.

That's more like someone
who tells it like it is.

What can I do for you?

Well, I have a college diploma
in restaurant management.

Solid.

Right.

And I heard you were
looking for a waitress.

Well, pussycat, I
have stopped looking.

Does that mean I've got the job?

Right on.

Well, when do I start?

- Oh well, Sally Barkfield, huh?
- That's right.

Well, I tell you what, I'll
just call you pussycat huh?

- Ah, pussycat...
- Yeah.

Now, you're the kind of
young chick I want around here,

someone with some
progressive training,

someone to give new ideas
to attract new customers.

Right.

Well, I'm up on all the
newest advanced techniques

- in customer service.
- Uh-huh.

So, when do I start?

Well, my regular girl
is on two weeks’ notice

but now that I've seen you,

well, I'll pay her off and
you can start tonight.

Tonight?

Yeah, we open at


and I'll show you around.

Right on.

The bread is $2
an hour and the tips

are out of sight.

Oh, and wait until I
lay this on you, here.

You dig that? I
designed it myself.

It's a real turn on.

Why don't you just try it on
for size and see how it fits.

Yeah.

Well, I'll take it
home to try it on.

Oh, try it on here.
We're all family.

I'll take it home.

So long, pussycat.

Meow...

Whoa!

Here you go, honey.

Here you go.

Miss, I ordered the salad.

And I ordered the soup.

Oh, are you sure?

Of course I'm sure.

Huh.

Well, why don't you sit over
here and you go sit over there?

I'm sure there's a
better solution than that.

Oh, of course there is.

I'm terribly sorry.

There you go.

Pussycat, what kind
of a move was that?

Oh, modern psychology man.

See, when they go tell
their friends what I did,

they'll mention the
name of your restaurant.

- Oh, right, right.
- Not bad.

- Yeah, get that one there.
- Oh right..

Hi, can I help you?

We'd like a table.

OK. How about this one?

You go sit over there and
you sit right there please.

Miss, would you do me a
favor and check my coat.

If I did favors, I'd
have one of my own.

Honey, this is a beaut.

Did you give it to her?

Really...

Well, did you?

Yes, I gave it to her.

Oh, are you guys married?

Well, I really don't think
that's any of your business.

I'm hip, honey, I'm hip.

Honey, those are
very good customers

and I think they were resentful

that you were being
so familiar with them.

Now, now, restaurant
psychology, man.

It's proven that
customers really dig

the personal touch, you know.

I couldn't have been
more personal, right?

Well, I know you didn't
mean wrong but you see...

Look, I really cannot work with
somebody looking over my shoulder.

It really wrecks up my karma.

- All right.
- Right.

Hi there folks, can I help you?

Yes, my name is Franklin.

I have reserved a
table for a party of four.

Did you?

Well, we seem to not
have a party of four table,

I'm sorry you'll have to wait.

But I made a reservation
and I had it confirmed.

We're not supposed
to stand here waiting...

I'm sorry. Mr. Franklin,
I'm sorry for the delay.

You see, my new waitress, I
realized what has happened.

She has taken parties of two

and she hasn't put
them at the deuce table,

she has put them
at the big tables.

Oh, don't palpitate,
folks. I can cool it.

Follow me.

Sorry folks, you're
going to have to move.

Up, up, up, up,
come on, move it!

You sit over here, honey.

You sit right here,
pops. Sit down.

See, no sweat.

Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot,

you have the soup
and you have the salad.

Do you like the
way I handled that?

- Frankly, no pussycat.
- No?

No, you never move customers
once they've been seated.

Oh, I get it. I get it.

Oh, all right.

Hi there, can I help you?

Well, we'd like to have
dinner. There are four of us.

One, two, three...
You're right, there are.

OK. Right this way.

You two sit right
over there please

and you two can sit right here.

But, we're in the same party.

I know honey but we
only have two small tables.

Look, my wife and I

invited my friend
and his wife to dinner

so we could be together.

Oh, that's adorable.

OK. Well, why don't you sit over
here and you come sit over there.

How's that?

See, Bob and Carol,
and Ted and Alice.

Whoa!

We didn't come here
to make a picture.

We came to eat.

OK. I'll get you some
menus. They are delicious.

Excuse me.

There you go sweetheart.

Whoa!

- Clean off table two.
- Oh.

h*, h*, h*.

Jingle bells, jingle
bells, jingle all the way.

Oh what fun it is to ride in a
one horse open sleigh, hey.

Waitress!

Oh, waitress!

In motion.

Waitress, we've decided
what we're going to have

and we'd like to order now.

Great.

Oh, do you have a pen?

Yes, yes, I have a pen.

Good, then you can
write down the order.

Pussycat, these people are
still waiting for their menus.

Yeah?

- Well, go get them.
- Oh, yes.

I'm sorry if my new waitress
is an inconvenience to you

but let me make it up to
you by having a bottle of wine

brought to you on the house.

OK.

Right over here.

We haven't got any more menus.

There's some more
in the cloak room.

Oh, that's a great
place for them.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Well, how's it going?

I'm driving him up the walls.
What about Ms. Winters?

- She's on her way over.
- Great.

- Good evening.
- Oh, good evening.

I'm Mrs. Carter and this is my
brother-in-law Harrison Carter.

- How do you do?
- How do you do?

I own the Carter
Employment Agency.

We thought we'd have dinner
here so that we could meet you.

Yes. We heard you were
looking for a waitress.

Oh. Well, I'm certainly
glad you came for dinner

but I've already
hired a new waitress.

- Oh, really?
- Uh-huh, this afternoon.

Uh-huh, but how
is she working out?

Well, frankly, she's
a little inexperienced

- but I'm sure she'll come along.
- Uh-huh.

Oh, and I'm sorry, there
will be a short wait for a table.

- Quite all right.
- Excuse me.

Here are your menus.

That's my coat you have on.

I know, honey,

but I was just freezing to
death in this skimpy little thing.

Well, of all the nerve.

I don't believe her.

Oh, I just couldn't
resist it. It's so cuddly.

Waitress! Waitress!

Waitress, what
happened to pussycat?

Never mind that.

Put that coat back.

Right on, whoa!

I'm sorry, sir. She
doesn't mean any harm.

Your wine is on its way over.

Thank you.

That waitress forgot
to pick up the order.

Don't worry, I'll handle it.

Here.

- Oh, thank you.
- No!

Table two.

Oh.

Which one is table two?

That one.

Here you go.

Ah, ah, ah! You
didn't need your olive.

I didn't want it.

You should never drink
anything without eating something.

I don't like olives.

Oh, I love them.

Here you go.

And since you don't like them...

Waitress!

Yes, ma'am?

We don't have any salt.

Oh, there's some right
over there. Help yourself.

Well, how do you like that?

I've had enough.
Let's get out of here.

This is ridiculous.

- Coming into a club...
- You picked this place.

Me? I'll never come
back here again.

I've had enough.
Well then, let's go.

Groovy and...

Waitress, waitress...

Yes, sir?

We've been waiting,
we'd like to have a table.

Oh, I'm really sorry about that

but we're just all
filled up right now.

Well, that table
over there is vacant.

That table is not vacant, ma'am.

Well, who's sitting there?

I am. It's my coffee break.

Well, I'm certainly not
going to stand for this.

- This is just outrageous!
- Absolutely.

Young lady, will you please
explain why you, a waitress,

are sitting at a table and
leaving customers standing?

Because it's my coffee break.

Well, you could take your
coffee break in the kitchen.

Honey, you could
eat in the kitchen.

Well, that does it.

Young lady, I would
advise you to leave this table

before I count three.

If you threw that pie,

do you know what
you'd look like?

No, but do you know
what you would look like?

Lucille, I get very nervous

when I see you with
a pie in your hand.

Would you kindly
please put it down?

Would you stay out of this?

You just better be out of that
seat by the time I count to three.

- One...
- Please, Lucille!

Two...

Please! Mrs. Carter, don't!

Oh, what's wrong, Mrs. Carter?

Well, this young lady is
taking her coffee break here

while we are
waiting for a table.

Waitress, take your
coffee break in the kitchen.

Cool, baby, cool,
I can handle it.

Excuse me, you're in my way.

And on your way out,

take that tray of
dirty dishes with you.

And this time, take
them on the tray.

Right.

Would you hold
this for me please?

I made it.

Guess what happened?

I know what happened.

Oh.

Mrs. Carter, I'm terribly
sorry about this incident

and it does look like I'll have
to be looking for a new waitress.

Oh, I'm sure she'll work out.

After all, she is very young

and you know how
efficient young people are.

Hi, Harvey!

- Oh, Mary.
- Hello there Mary.

- Hello, Mr. Jackson.
- Good evening.

- Oh, good evening.
- Good evening.

Harvey, you said if
I came here tonight,

you'd give me a letter
of recommendation.

Oh, Mary, I am sorry.

I was going to write
that this evening

but I forgot it in
all of this turmoil.

Turmoil?

Oh yes.

Mr. Jackson came in with
some guests over there

and the new dingaling waitress
put them at two deuce tables.

Oh, Mr. Jackson.

Would you two couples
like to sit together?

Oh, we sure would.

Well, I can fix that.

Oh, that's wonderful.

There you are.

You see, no problem.

Thank you, Mary.

Mary, would you consider
coming back to work here?

- When?
- As soon as possible.

I'll be ready as soon
as I hang up my coat.

Mary.

You got to swing
with the times, man.

Oh, Mr. Stevens,

I think you're using
wonderful judgment.

And so do I.

Well, I guess judgment
comes with age

and when a man reaches 40,
he should start acting his years.

Yes, that's a
wonderful attitude.

I'll try to remember
that when I become 40.

Shut up!

Oh! Oh!

- What happened?
- Stevens!

Oh, sir, what's the matter?

I've had all I can
stand of this restaurant.

Why, what happened?

After an evening
of terrible service

and the most provoking waitress,

we were served a
wine glass that leaks.

And it has ruined my $200-dress.

Oh, I feel terrible.

You feel terrible, I'll
show you how I feel.

I knew it would end like this.