01x09 - All That Jazz

[bunniefuu]

♪ If you're lookin' for me ♪

♪ You'd better check
Under the sea ♪

♪ 'Cause that is where
You'll find me ♪

♪ Underneath the sealab ♪

♪ Underneath the water ♪

♪ Sealab
At the bottom of the sea ♪♪

COMPUTER:
Authorization code, please.

Nine-three-four Texas.

Authorized.

Commence fingerprint scan.

Confirmed.

Access granted.

Retinal scan commencing.

Identity confirmed.

Good morning, Captain Murphy.

Good morning, Gladys.

Hello, old friend.

[DEEP MONOTONE]
♪ Well, hello, consumer ♪

♪ Yes, hello, consumer ♪

♪ Bah, bah, bah, bah
Bah-da-bah ♪

♪ Bebop Cola ♪

♪ Yeah ♪♪

Uh, let's see.

Uh...

Nope.

Uh, no, no.
No, no.

Oh, uh...

no.

[HUMMING]

Oh, here we go.

Yes, sir. Ahh.

Mingus Dew.

[COINS CLINKING]

♪ And I say to myself ♪

♪ I need exact change ♪

That is exact change, jerk-face.

♪ And I say to myself ♪
You hunk of crap!

[PUNCHING MACHINE]

I'll have you turned into
an artificial reef!

Come on, you piece of junk!

Give me my Mingus Dew!
Come on!

You...

big...

piece...

of...

crap!

Argh!

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]

Okay, keep it together, Murphy.

Just stay cool.

Take a deep breath.

[INHALES]

Oh! Oh, my ribs.

Oh, searing pain.

God, is anything down there
not broken?

Oh!

No. No, it's all crushed...

and wet.

Man, I hope that's soda.

Help! Somebody, help me!

Hello! Help!

[LIQUID DRIPPING]

Where the hell is everybody?

♪ Cruisin' Mos Espa
In my DeLorean ♪

STORMY: Oh, yeah!

This concert rocks!

Whoo!

Oh, I hope he does
"Booties for Breakfast," man!

Oh, yes!

On, my God.

He totally just looked at me.

DEBBIE: I love you,
MC Chris!

MC Chris!

Look at these!

They're jigglin', baby!

Oh, yeah!

All right, Debbie!

Do it, Debbie.

Hey, Quinn.
Go get more drinks.

Hello? Anybody?

Ow! Oh, jeez...

Keep it together, Murphy.

You just got to keep cool
and figure out a plan.

You've been
in tighter scrapes than this...

[PEEPS]

Ah! Ouch!

Ah! Ah! Oh!

Ah! Oh!

Stop it! I... Oh! Oh!

[PANTING]

Poison! Coursing
through my veins.

[GROANS]

Blacking out... any second.

No, no.
I'm fighting it off.

I'm gonna make it.

[MACHINE CLUNKS]

Ah!

Papa! Papa! Come see!

I'm going for the record!

Papa!

Damn it, Young Murphy!

I'm watching Magnum!

But Papa, I'm...

Shut up!

T.C.'s doing... something.

But Papa!

[TRUMPETS]

Oh!

What the...? Uh...

Aw, jeez. My tooth!

[DOOR OPENS]

What's that?

Hello? Hello?

[WHIRRING]

[CHATTERING]

Thank God.

So...

Some sort of rescue toaster.

Okay. Okay.
Go get help, boy,

but if... if you've got
one of those

little barrels
with brandy in it,

I-I-I-I...

Hey, don't go yet!

I need brandy!

Aah! Oof.

My teeth!

Oh! My face. Oh!

[CHATTERING]

Now, just listen here, you...

[CHATTERING]

What?
What are you making, a necklace?

[SNORING]

[SODA CAN ROLLING]

Shut up!

[PEEPS]

Oh, it's you, Ben.

Sorry about that.

Uh, what's on tap for today?

[PEEPS]

Ah, yeah.

Mango Reinhardt.

The thinking man's pop.

Thank you, Ben.

[PEEPS]

Ah, ah, ah.

Hold on, Ben.

Aren't you, uh...
forgetting something?

[PEEPS]

Come on, come on.

What are you waiting for?
Daddy needs his medicine.

I'm sick, baby. I'm sick.

Come on, baby.

Daddy needs his feel-good juice.

Ooh! Oh.
Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's the stuff.

Whew! That's what
Daddy needs.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

See... see...
see, what it is, is...

we're all a community,
and, uh, uh...

when you're a community,
and when love enters into it...

[PANTING]

[SNORING]

♪ Put him in a scupper
With a hose pipe in him ♪

♪ Put him in a scupper
With a hose pipe in him ♪

♪ Early in the morning ♪♪

Wrong melody.

[PEEPING]

[GIGGLES]

Ben?

What are you doing down there?

Hey!

That tickles!

What?

You're kidding?

Oh, that's wonderful.

You've laid your brood of eggs
in my navel.

We're gonna be mommies.

Ben, this is the hap...

Ow!

[LISPING]
That was my last tooth,
you son of a...

Well...

[CHATTERING]

Tooth-stealing b*stard!

You get him, Ben!

[CHATTERING]
[PEEPING]

MURPHY:
The eyes, Ben!

Go for the eyes!
That's it!

You can do it!

Sting and move!
Sting and move!

[PEEPS]

Ben?

Ben?

[CHATTERING]

You b*stard!

You k*lled Ben!

Oh, Ben! Oh!

[SOBBING]

[SKITTERING]

And your babies.

Oh, oh... They're hatching.

They're orphans.

Oh, I'm getting angry.

You won't like me
when I'm angry.

[GROWLING]

Murphy k*ll robot.

Murphy smash robot!

[CRASHING]

QUINN: Well, it's good
to be back at Sealab.

MARCO: Man, when Debbie
got us backstage,

who'd have guessed that MC Chris

would ask us all
to go on a world tour

as his roadies?

What a crazy year!

Best year of my
freaking life, man!

[WEEPING]

DEBBIE:
Speak for yourself.

You can't cage MC Chris, Debbie.

He's a bird, man.

He's got to be free.

Yeah, girl.
Let a player play.

[LAUGHING]

Can't hold the man down.

Uh, anyway, I wonder
where Captain Murphy is.

[CRASHING]

Dios mío!

Holy bejesus!

Oh, my God!

Bebop... Cola... good!

[CLAPPING]

Huh? Gold, right?

Not edgy enough.

What else you got?

Not edgy?
What about the scorpions?

Yeah, what's with that?
Are they premiums? What?

You're not getting it.
The scorpions are symbolic.

Of the fizz!

Ken, no bugs. What else you got?

Okay. Okay.
You're right.

You're right.
No bugs.

Uh, we've got this other...

our main idea, it's...

Ken. Today?

Okay. Okay.

We've perfected a technology

that'll allow us
to put a billboard into space.

Think of it, d*ck.

Your billboard would be seen
by everyone in the entire world.

Keep talking.

Well, there would be
catastrophic tidal waves,

but the upshot here?

Kids love to surf.

Rip the curl,
d*ck!
Hmm.

That would be a choice
demographic, d*ck.

Gentlemen, surf's up!

♪ My backpack's got jets ♪

♪ Well, I'm Boba the Fett ♪

♪ Well, I bounty hunt
For Jabba Hutt ♪

♪ To finance my 'Vette ♪

♪ Well, I chill in deep space ♪

♪ A mask is over my face ♪

♪ Well, I deliver the prize
But I still narrow my eyes ♪

♪ 'Cause my time
I don't like to waste ♪

♪ Get down ♪

♪ Well, I bounty hunt
for Jabba Hutt ♪

♪ To finance my 'Vette ♪♪

MAN:
I'll bet a lot of you
are uncomfortable in your seats

after watching this program.

You probably need some talcum.

[PEOPLE LAUGHING]