03x01 - Splitsville

[bunniefuu]

♪ If you're looking for me ♪

♪ You'd better check
under the sea ♪

♪ 'Cause that is
where you'll find me ♪

♪ Underneath the sea lab ♪

♪ Underneath the water ♪

♪ Sealab,
at the bottom of the sea ♪

I don't give a [beep]
who hears me!

Because all you
care about is you!

I sure as [bleep]
don't care about you!
[Glass breaks]

Hey! Don't be
throwing my [beep]!

And you can
shove this up your [beep].

Hey! I'm a
shove my [beep]
up your [beep].

Well, if you could
do that,

I wouldn't be
dumping you.

Oh, no, I'm dumping
your [beep] a*s.

[Beep] off,
you [beep] mother [beep].

Could you please stop
this insufferable beeping?

Oh, are you having
a yard sale
late at night?

Dude,
that's awesome.

Who told you
they broke up?

Virjay saw the whole thing.
Isn't that right, doc?

[Playing rock music]

Sparks, the muse
has nudged me.

I'm getting the band
back together.

Oh, ya.

We are never
getting back together.

Well,
I hate it for you,

But to be honest,
I'm kind of happy
for quinn.

And just why is that?

Oh, come on, child.
Fine brother like that?

He was wasted on you.

Excuse me?

sh**t.

You sleeping
on the floor?

Why don't you bunk
with me?

Yeah, I might
take you up on that.

Us hombres got to
stick together, right?

[Speaking spanish]

You know, your spanish
is terrible.

Because if I see him,
I'll scratch his piggy little
eyes out or something.

No sweat.
I'll change
the schedule.

And while you're at it,
I don't want to work with
the other debbie either.

She's on quinn's
side, huh?

Like nobody saw
that coming.

And he's rooming
with marco.

Ugh. Yeah.
Whatever.

Looks like it's just
you and me, kid.

And me.

What do you want?

Debbie, I know you're
going through a tough time now.

Ugh. Just not now, ok?

I just want you to know

That I'm here for you.

Oh, stormy.
That's so sweet.

So, if you need
somebody to talk to

Or somebody to dry-hump...

[Thud]

I'm here for you.

[Rock music playing]

Gentlemen, please.
Your attention.

Hey, virj,
let's fire up a hog leg.

Five-thirty, you know
I am a vegetarian.

No, he means...

But after rehearsal,
please feel free

To catch and skin
some sort of animal to eat.

Now, for 10 years,
the ocean bottom nightmare band

Has beaten us
in the battle of the groups.

Animatronic
weasel b*stards.

But this year,
the tables shall turn.

Virj, they're
programmed to rock
perfectly.

How we going
to beat 'em?

With my new composition,
"fishing hole."

A-1, a-2, a-1, 2, 3, 4.

[Playing rock music]

♪ Hurry, now, don't be late ♪

♪ Sun is up,
the water's great ♪

♪ Grab some crickets
and a worm ♪

♪ Gonna make
the girlies squirm ♪

♪ Bobby lee and lucy lou ♪

♪ Are whipping up some stew ♪

♪ Over there is charlie brown ♪

♪ He's passed out
on the ground ♪

♪ Man, that fishing
is out of sight ♪

♪ Come on down the fishing hole,
grab your fishing pole ♪

♪ Get on down the fishing hole ♪

Do I not rival
ronnie james dio
in my rock ability?

Trust me, deb.

A makeover,
a little jujj,

You put on those
hooker pumps,

And then we're
taking you out
on the town tonight.

Yeah. Yeah!
[Beep] him.

Attagirl. And I'll
tell you something.

What's that?

I'm going to tease
this hair to the moon.

Always her needs this,
her needs that.

What about my frickin' needs?

Here's what you need,
right here.

What the hell is that?

Homemade raisin
wine, baby.

Why is it in the toilet?

Keeps it chilly.

Don't worry.
The bag's sealed.

It's clean, man.

Why is there a toilet
in your room?

What are you,
mr. Baby questions?

Oh, man. This ain't no
hydroponic lab.

Well, what the hell
else would it be?

Look at all them
dadburn blinky lights.

Well, bust that
thing off, then.

Ha ha h*!
Check one.

Something fell
in there.

Well, maybe it's
a big fat hog leg.

Well, my hand's
too big to reach it.

Hot damn.
This is better than doobage.

Oh-oh, man. My head's
feeling all tingly.

Oh, I'm going to be
losing some long blocks
of time with this stuff.

We need a big crowd
tonight, hesh,

So please ensure that
all 1,000 flyers
are prominently displayed.

Maybe hesh could
rap in your band.

Oh, if only it were
up to me.

Because hesh lays down
the phat rhymes.
You feel me?!

I kick it for realsies,
no dealsies.

I kick it old-schooly.
I kick the crap
out of that school.

I kick it.

Just put the
damn flyers up.

I don't need her.
Don't need nobody.

Forget her, man.

Let's go out,
find a little
mami chula for you.

Hell, yeah.
Get me some poontang.

Yeah, let's go to a bar.

We done drunk up all
the damn toilet wine.

Out of sight, boss.

sh**t.

[Engines rev]
[rock music playing]

Get off!
Get off the stage!

You're sure I look ok?

Huh. Like a steak
drizzled in sl*t sauce.

Trust me,
you're going to be

Beating the guys off
with a stick.

I'm up for that,
except for the stick.

Ok, that's it.
[Whistles]

Ow! Hey! Hey... Hey... Hey... Hey!
[Glass breaks]

Guess who just came in.

Quinn!

Quick, I need a man.

Hesh has been
getting his drink
on.

Oh, god.
Ok, act like we're a couple.

[Burps] yeah,
hesh is getting
ripped wide open

C-section, baby.
Ugh.

Hey, you're on
after the nightmare boys.

You better get
your guys ready.

Where are those
feckless nincompoops?

What's going on, virj?

Where have you been?
Where...

Sweet krashnu,
what has happened
to your heads?

Virj, we, uh,
need to talk.

What do you say to that,
mr. B., Huh?

That's a good smoke,
heshmeister.

Hey, hey. How's
everybody doing?

Hesh all bone up
on your missus.

Oh, debbie. I didn't
see you there.

I'm so sure.

Looks like you
found... Somebody.

Hesh is hitting that a*s.

Whereas you have
found nobody.

Oh, I brought
my ladies.

Damn!

Here your melon
ball, puppy.

What do you mean
I'm out of the band?

Whoa, virj,
no hard feelings, man.

Damn your irradiated
eyes, it's my band.

Oh, please.
Get a room, you three.

Woman,
you don't like it,
you can leave

Maybe I will, right after
I kick your [beep] a*s.

You and what army,
q-tip?

Damn. She called you
"q-tip."

Back off,
lady marmalade.

Excuse me? Girl,

You best get up
off my grill.

Yeah, sl*t.

Who you calling
a sl*t, wh*re?

Hesh is getting
pretty turned on.

Hey, man,
no hard feelings,

But we're going with
the big head thing.

Already got a record deal
and everything.

A record? Who would
sign you freaks?

Hey, hey.
There's my rock stars.

Come on, let's blow this
smallhead joint.

♪ Give my back my big head ♪

Well, good luck
making a record

While you're in the
agonizing throes of
cerebral edema

And profound ataxia,
radiation monster people!

And now, battle of the groups
champions 10 years running,

The ocean bottom nightmare band!

Y'all ready for some
rocking tonight?

I will beat
your skinny a*s.

b*tch! At least
I got a*s.

An a*s I'm getting ready
to kick.

[Playing rock music]
this is a honkytonker.

A-1, 2-1, 2, 3, 4.

You want to come
for me?

Krashnu pamadan!
That's my song!

Take that!
Ooh!

Back up, baby.

Jack those ribs.
Get in there.

Come on. Get in there.
Get your foot in there.

No karate.
Aaahah!

Damn,
my top came off.

You tore my dress
wide open.

My breasts are
spilling out.

Hesh wants
girl-on-girl action.

[Playing rock music]

Slip her the tongue.

God, please don't
strike me blind.

[Thunder]

Sweet crackers,
I'm blind.

Hey, hang on there, folks.
I have an announcement.

[Music stops]

Yes, announce that
these animatronic vermin

Have stolen my song.

Shut up.
Anybody here from sealab?

Ahem. Ok, we got a note.

Uh, somehow, it says
the reactor's fixing to blow up.

My god! Everybody,
back to sealab.

How do these apples
appeal to you?

Somebody tell me
what's happening.

It's the beer
bandit.
Mmf!

Oh, boy. Apparently,
there's a foreign object

Down inside
the pre-cooling chamber.

That chamber's
hermetically sealed.

How the hell
did that happen?

I don't know, but if you don't
clear that chamber in 6 minutes,

We're all dead.

There's no way my hand
will fit inside.

I designed that reactor
myself.

Well, nice reactor design,
stupid.

Debbie, where
have you been?

Me and yumi and debbie
got so turned on fighting

That we all made out.

Every last guy in the bar
was watching,

And totally cheering us on.

Why hast thou forsaken me?

'Cause [indistinct],
baby!
Mmf!

Turns out yumi and I
have tons in common,

Like our very small hands.

Quinn, you thinking
what I'm thinking?

About them
making out?

No, the hands.
Small hands.

You two can fix
the reactor together.

Oh, h*, h*.
Hell no.

I'm not working with him.
I'm not working with her.

Hey, shush it! Quinn knows
the reactor layout,

And your hand is small enough
to fit in the cooling chamber.

So...

Looks like we'll have
to put our differences
aside

And work together.

Well, that's just stupid.

Hurry up. We've only got


I'm doing it.
Don't start in on me.

Woman, if I had a...

Hey, reactor meltdown.
Fiery death.

Ok, we're doing it.
Shut up.

God, this suit's hot.

What's hot was you
in that dress.

What's hot was me
and yumi and debbie

Making out on that
wet, dirty floor.

Oh, yeaheaheaheah.

Bodies entwined,
lips and tongues exploring
every inch of each other's

Asses. Stupid robot
weasel asses.

Sparks, I need access
to some sort of chain saw
and a can of gasoline.

You mind?

We're trying to prevent
a nuclear holocaust here.

Oh, goodness.

But it should be almost...
Yeah.

Quinn, what what about
the meltdown?

Yes! Getting mighty hot
in here.

Quinn!

What in the name of
krashnu is he doing?

I think he's
attempting re-entry.

Oh, did we have to end
on a lame quote
from a james bond movie?

Quinn,
call me a dirty wh*re.

Much better.

Ooh, boy! I woke up one day
naked in a tree

In downtown.
Remember?