03x13 - Neptunati

[bunniefuu]

♪ If you're lookin' for me ♪

♪ You'd better check
under the sea ♪

♪ 'Cause that is
where you'll find me ♪

♪ Underneath the sealab ♪

♪ Underneath the water ♪

♪ Sealab at the bottom
of the sea ♪

And to the third query,
I answer "yea."

Then raise yon skull goblet

And drink deeply
of the real human blood therein.

Thus we name you
a brazen potentiary 33rd degree

In the exalted and supreme
brotherhood of neptune.

I greet you from the deeps.

Where neptune never sleeps.
Behold!

The infinity trident,

Source of our fearsome power.

Dark forces wish to steal it,

So guard it with your life.

Dude!

You drank blood
out of human skulls?

W-what do you...
This is a secret ceremony!

Dude, nobody cares
if you're catholic.

I'm not catholic.
I'm... Never mind.

I won't tell.

Remember how we never
found out who k*lled
all those cats?

No!
Exactly!

Come on, now.
Tell me.

No. I'd have to initiate you.

Dude, yes.

But if you reveal the secrets
of the brotherhood,

They'll destroy you
and everyone you tell.

Shanks...

You can trust me.

I'm serious!

Abraham lincoln tried to outlaw
the brotherhood.

That's why brother booth
whacked his a*s.

Man, the brotherhood's
just an urban legend.

Well, if you're so smart,

Who poisoned the world's
supply of mac and cheese?

Nobody poisoned
the mac and...

Aah!

I thought
they were just old guys

Who drive go-karts
in parades.

Yeah, when they're not
controlling every aspect

Of international finance.

Wait. Isn't that
the 5 jew bankers?

Oh, yeah, the 5 jew bankers.

Hey, don't say that.

No, no, he's right.

You always hear about
those 5 jew bankers.

That's because henry ford
wanted you to hear

About the 5 jew bankers.

Stop saying
"5 jew bankers"!

Anyway, they're
the brotherhood's enemies,

But we've got
the infinity trident!

So they can't be messin'
with us.

What the hell
are you telling them?

See? Check this out.

"I greet you from the deeps."

"Where neptune never
sleeps."

Oh, dammit!

He's gotta answer
when I say that.

One of their g*y rules.

Oh, shut up!

You do not know the forces
at work here.

What are you gonna do?

Get john wilkes booth
to cap my a*s?

There's no such thing
as the brotherhood
of neptune.

Then what's that?

Uh...

Frog gigger.

Now, if these weirdos
are into world
domination,

Then I want in.

Yeah. Is it tons
of rich guys?

'Cause I wouldn't
mind meeting one
of those 5 jew bankers.

You told them
about the 5 jew bankers?

Hey!
Enough with the...

[Speaking yiddish]

Dreidel!

Damn your blabbering mouth!

Now I gotta initiate
all of y'all.

Well, I'd rather die
than join that
creepy-a*s cult,

You... You soctologizing
old man-trap!

Sic semper tyrannis!

Whoa!
Oh, god!

Relax!

Neptune, I invoke thy power.

Whoa!
Oh, my god!

Now, you in, or does miniature
john wilkes booth

sh**t you in the face
about a billion more times?

No. Yeah, I'm in.

Then I shall avail myself
of the salisbury steak
entree.

[Crash]
aah! My leg!

Thus I name thee
neophytes of
the first degree

In the exalted and supreme
brotherhood of neptune.

All: we greet you
from the deeps.

Where neptune never sleeps.

Ok, that's it.

Help yourself to punch
and cookies.

I can't believe I drank
human blood.

I can't believe
I've had 4 cookies!

I said, I drank human blood!

That's why we always have
punch after.

Ha ha ha!
Drink up!

So, when do
we get in on

All that
international finance
and oil cartels?

Well, now, hang on a minute.

Y'all are just neophytes.

So what?

So there's about


Between you
and the cool stuff.

Murders?
Ha ha ha!

Enjoy your punch!

Now, listen,
I gotta make a punch run.

Can y'all keep an eye
on the infinity trident?

Hell, yeah!
Sure, dude!

But under no circumstances
are y'all to fool around

And unleash its awesome
and terrible powers.

Shanks!

You can trust us.

Whoa!
These boobs rock!

Ha! Those mosquito bites?

Ok, quinn, your turn!
Make a wish!

You know what
my wish is.

No, no, no!

Neptune, I invoke thy power.

You crappy b*stard!

Ok, my turn! Uh...

Why don't you un-cr*pple
yourself?

Ooh! Better idea!

Well, hesh can't wait
till tomorrow!

Because that's when hesh
starts his new job

As a solid gold dancer!

♪ Dum-bada-ba- ♪
oh!

My legs!

This is gonna make it so much
easier to cr*pple people.

Dammit,
that ain't a toy!

Uh, I know.

It's a magical super-crippler!

Ow! Son of a b*tch!

Neptune,
I invoke thy power!

Aah, my legs!

My legs!

Child, good thing
you already crippled.

No! No!

I was just lazy!

From now on,

Nobody touches
the infinity trident
but me!

Look out! Flying dead cat!

[Meow]

Whoa. Ugh!

Neptune, I invoke thy power!

Neptune is my copilot!

Dammit!

[Meow]

[Snarl]
aah!

Bad zombie cat!
Bad zombie cat!

Out of the way!

Aah! My leg!

Watch where
you're going.

Man, this is one huge
beaker of pus.

Hey! Whoa!

Hey, you hear something?

Just all this pus
sloshin' around.

We certainly do have
a lot of pus.

The most pus I've ever seen.

And you've been to europe.

Out of the way!

Oh, my god.

We almost dropped
this pus.

Look out!
Watch it, a*s!

Move, idiots!

Come on,
make a hole!

You better move
your behind!

Those hats are m*rder!

I bet we've got


Don't quantify the pus.
The pus just is.

People are trying to carry
pus here!

Legs... Useless.

Hesh's dreams... Shattered!

Aah! Glass!
Oh! Thumbtacks!

Aah! Lemon juice!

Aah! It burns
with the power of lemons!

How could this be any worse?

Aah! Ooh! Eeh! Aah!

Yow!

Damn you, fleagle!

Unh!

For the love of god,
just cut!

You're extending the joke!

Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut!

Dah! Ooh!

Cut! Cut! Cut!

[Meowing]

Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut!

Ow!

[Meow]

Oh, hell,
he could be anywhere.

Maybe we should
split up.

Maybe you should hush
while the men are talking.

Maybe you'd like
to wear your guts
for garments?

Oh, my god, look!

Oh, what's he using
the trident for now?

Dammit, neptune!

I want an a*s
to match these cans!

Come on, already!

I demand more
junk in my trunk!

Stop it, you idiot!

Stand back. I'm warning ya!
I'll zap ya!

Stop!
You wanna release
the cracken?

[Boom]

Oh, my god!

Oh!
[Boom]

[Boom]

The do what now?

The cracken!

The gigantic mythical beast

Who guards
the infinity trident!

Why didn't you say
something before?

I was getting punch!

We're never gonna get
this pus home.

Not with that attitude.

Well, that's just terrific.

Thanks to your dumb-a*s
idioticness,

I gotta go out
and battle

The ferocious
and terrible cracken!

[Roaring]

Godspeed, dude.

All: whoa!

Headlock!
Holy crap!

Wow!
Damn!

Oh, my god!

Oh, jesus,
do you see that?

Did you see
that?

All: whoa!

Anybody who didn't see that

Ought to go just k*ll
themselves right now!

Way to go, shanks!

Shut up.

I almost got k*lled
thanks to you.

Hope you're happy.

I am... For
the first time in my life.

[Gasp] no!

Man, we thought
that cracken had you!

He would have
if goo-goo-yasa
hadn't shown up.

Don't thank me.
Thank pupumi. Oh!

[Gibberish]

And as barely believable
as it sounds,

I'm keeping the infinity trident
for myself.

The brotherhood
be damned!

What about the consequences?

What the hell
are they gonna do
about it?

Fools.

No one defies
the brotherhood.

But, sire,
without the infinity trident,

We're powerless against
the 5 jew bankers!

You idiot!

For about
the millionth time,

We made up the 5 jew
bankers.

Target destroyed,
mort vader.

Excellent work,
gentlemen.

Don't thank us.
Thank pupumi.

[Gibberish]

[All laughing]

I'm gonna [bleep] him
in the face.

Zombie cat loves you.
Meow!