04x09 - Shrabster

[bunniefuu]

♪ If you're looking for me ♪

♪ You'd better check
under the sea ♪

♪ 'Cause that is where
you'll find me ♪

♪ Underneath the sealab ♪

♪ Underneath the water ♪

♪ Sealab ♪

♪ At the bottom of the sea ♪

[Car horns honking]

[Knock on door]

Come on, come on, come on,
let's go. Open up.

[Locks clicking]

Yeah? What's up?

Got a complaint.

About what?

[Creature roaring]

That.

Ok.

Mind if I take a look?

You got a warrant?

I can have one
in an hour.

Ok.

Narrator:
meanwhile, across town...

We blew it.
We're washed up, don.

Washed up?
Was ray kroc washed up

After the hula burger, dan?

The hula burger, don?

For catholics to eat
on fridays.

Yes, the hula burger...
A bun, a pineapple ring,

And a friggin' slice of cheese
or something, dan.

That sounds awful, don.

It was awful.

But you want to guess
what his next idea was, dan?

I'm gonna say
filet-o-fish, don.

Filet of
freakin' fish, dan.

Narrator:
filet-o-fish, dan, indeed.

Because earlier,
back at sealab...

I'm sorry
she's gone, papi.

Yeah.

Hey, I'm sorry I broke
your boyfriend's neck.

Psst! I ain't even
about that dude.

I mean, he's all,
like, co-optin' black
culture and stuff.

I mean, what's that
all about, huh?

Yeah. I don't know.

Ummmm... Oh.

Oh, do you want
a blow job?

I... Do.

Narrator: fellatio indeed,
because earlier...

[Engine revving]

[Engine sputters, then stops]

[Starter cranking]

You said you could
drive a stick, dan.

I said, "does a bear [beep]
in the pope's hat?" Don.

[Gears grinding]

That's the sound of it
already started, dan.

Well, then, I guess
it's flooded, don.

Do you even know
what that means, dan?

I know you're
pissing me off, don.

I guess that makes
two of us here, dan.

My god. What's
happening to us, don?

We have become what
we beheld,

And we are ashamed.

Hand it here, dan.

Narrator: wonder what's
in those boxes.

To find out, we go earlier.

Ah, snazzle.

Grizzlebizzle's
got plizzle... Sorry.

Dammit!
Where the hell did they go?

Whizzle in dizzle, my...

If you say "nizzle,"

I'm gonna snap your neck
with my bare hands.

Niz...
Arrrgggghhh!

Agghhhh!

Narrator:
yeah, 'cause white people
be all like this, right?

Earlier...



Authorized.

Where the hell is she?

Hello, quinn.

Shanks,
you better not be inv...

[Whistle tweeting]

Now, don't talk to me
like I'm actually here.

This is a tape.

And I took her, quinn,
to start a life together.

You stupid cr*cker
son of a b*tch
and b*stard cr*cker a*s!

I'm giving you
a minute to cuss.

I couldn't bear
to see her locked up,

Pumping out babies
for a bunch of grubby
africans to eat.

Come on.
So we ran away.

Don't try to find us.

Dammit!

Yep. So long, stupid.

At least I've still
got the babies.

Narrator: or does he?
Moments earlier...

That ought to hold her.

Wait. Wait.
Just give us two of them...

And breed them ourselves.
We'll breed them ourselves.

No, you won't,
'cause they're neuter.

Only the queen
can produce them.

Well, we're working on
that angle, too.

You what?!

He meant we're not working
on that angle at all.

You sons of b*tches!

You know what?
[Beep] that guy.

Why don't we just
steal these, don?

Can you drive
a stick, dan?

Does a bear [beep]
in the pope's hat, don?

Yes.

Narrator: let's give it up
for fleagle.

[Applause]

Shut up. Earlier...

[Baby crying]

[Creature roaring]

No, don't look at him.
You'll just get attached.

[Roaring]

Yeah, I saw it,
but I don't think

sophie's choice
is a good analogy,

Since all your babies
are gonna die.

[Roaring]

Yeah. Well, hey, maybe
eating some placenta
will cheer you up.

Narrator: eating
placenta indeed. Gross!

Meanwhile,
in the air duct...

[Grunting]

Hey, fatty, how about
another piece of cake?

Oh, don't mind if I do.

Uhh! No cake for fatty.
No cake for fatty!

[Grunting]

[Creature roaring]

Sweet mother
of holy [beep] god.

Narrator:
blasphemy indeed.

And I don't even know
when this next part happened.

I'm assuming it's earlier.

This is really
not a good idea.

Seriously.
Don't keep eating it, stormy.

Who died and made you
my mother?

Except my mother,

Who... Ironically... Died doing
exactly the same thing.

Pump harder, doc.
I'm closing up again.

Narrator: oh h* h* h*!
Stormy, my man.

Earlier...

You know, I'm not gonna
blow smoke here.

We're not gonna lie
to you on this.

It's gonna be
dangerous.

I laugh at danger, boys.
I mock it.

I dip its pigtails
in the inkwell. I...

Great. Shut up.
Ok, this is all a laser grid.

So the only entrance
is here,

From the a/c duct
in the ceiling.

A/c duct
in the ceiling.

I'm on it.

I don't know
about this, don.

"I don't know
about this, don,"

'Cause my name's
doubty doubts-a-lot dan.

[Snickers]

Ok.

Ow! Whoa!

Ahem.

And we still got
plan "b," dan.

'Cause that's
how we roll, dan... Don.

Narrator: talktopus.
It's a talking octopus.

Wish we had one.
It's awesome. Earlier...



Authorized.

Morning, queenie.

[Roaring]

Whoa-oh! Somebody's egg sac
is fully distended.

[Roaring]

No. We've been over that.

Your babies are gonna end
world hunger.

[Roaring]

Oh, really?

Well, I suppose you'd rather
see this keep happening.

Hi. I'm toni carmel,
and this is bwana.

He's 14. And unless
he gets some food,

He's not going to
make it to 15.

[Coughing]

But for the price of
a cup of coffee, you...

Well, let's face it.

You can't make a difference
in bwana's life.

His people need meaningful
agricultural reforms,

Not free food.

In fact,
at this stage of starvation,

Bwana can't even eat.

We have a big cooler
of deli sandwiches

And ice-cold lemonade
right over there,

But he can't have any,
can you, bwana?

[Flies buzzing]

Oh, gross.
I think he died.

[Roaring]

Yeah. It's tragic as hell.

Narrator: dead african
child indeed. [Laughing]

I'm sorry.
It's just so [beep] awful.

Earlier...

Because if you don't
help us get it,
we're gonna k*ll you.

Forgizzle! Segizzle
in quizzle's

Genizzle labizzle
impizzibizzle.

Translizzle, hizzle.

He say security in
quinn's genetic laboratory

Is all, like,
impenetratable.

So what's the deal?
Is he, like, Ret*rded or...

Narrator: or is this script
Ret*rded? Earlier...

Mmm! Why didn't
anybody tell me

Stem-cell research
was so delicious?

And it works with
south beach.

Hesh, you've got to try
some of this.

Can't. Not kosher.

You're jewish?

Yeah, and the torah says
I can't eat

Shellfish, camels,
pigs, or rock badgers.

What's
a rock badger?

Don't matter,
'cause I can't eat it.

Or snakes, rats, or bugs.

Well, that's just
good common sense.

Yeah, that torah. Heh!

Well...

I wouldn't have guessed
he was jewish.

He also knows karate.

Well, how we doing?
Any side effects?

No, dude.
It's delicious.

[Gasping]

He's in
anaphylactic shock!

Oh, just give him
his epi shot.

His what?
Epinephrine.

He's allergic
to shellfish.

[Gasps]

Dude, how long was I out?

Why the hell are
you eating this if
you're allergic to it?!

I needed the money
to buy more epinephrine.

It's a vicious circle.

Narrator:
a vicious circle indeed.

Earlier... Hey, christian.

Earlier...

You're not frying
my life's work!

Not on everything
but the calabash version.

No. I designed it
to end world hunger,

Not to be a value meal in
your crappy-a*s restaurant.

Don't call grizzlebee's
bad names.

I'll take that.
Hey!

Look, we already paid sparks
for the distribution rights.

They weren't his
to sell!

Ah, snazzle.

Look like grizzlebizzle
got plizzled

Like a bizzle, my brizzle.

Narrator:
we had to skip the part

About why he's using slang
from two years ago...

White writers... But here's
what all the fuss was about.

Moments earlier...

Who wants fish sticks?

Aw, man.

Isn't there anything new
from the sea?

[Gasp]

There is at grizzlebee's.

Introducing the shrabster.

Our chefs have tampered
with god's divine plan

To bring you a genetically
engineered feast

That'll tempt your taste buds.

At a price that won't
leave you shell-shocked.

Shrimp, crab, and
lobster all in one!

Thanks, grizzlebee's.

Grizzlebee's,
home of the shrabster!

Frickin' awesome!

No, no, no.

You're not frying
my life's work.

And from the end
to the beginning of
this tragic tale,

So now back to the end.

In progress.

Queenie,
when those cops come back,

They're gonna take you
away from me.

But I can't live
without you.

[Roaring]

So I got two b*ll*ts...
One for each of us.

You ready, baby?

[Roaring]

Don't fear the reaper.

[Roar]

[g*nsh*t]

[Sirens]

[g*nsh*t]

Mmm. Ha ha ha!
Shot her twice.

Right. Right.
Yes, very clever.

I enjoyed this episode,

You know, especially when
it was on seinfeld.

Narrator: earlier...

[Grunt]