04x13 - Legacy of Laughter

[bunniefuu]

[Music playing]

Hi, I'm toni carmel.

And welcome back to
sealab: a legacy of laughter.

[Guests talking at once]

In this special


We've been looking
back at our favorite
sealab memories.

And later, we'll premiere
next season's first episode...

[Applause]

Wow! Looks sharky!
But right now,

The cast is going
to take questions
from our audience.

Hey! I like
this applause stuff.

Yeah. We don't get a lot
of that in the v.o. Booth.

Hey, speak for yourself.
Ha ha ha ha!

Man!

Yeah, hearing a live audience
laughing is like...

Man: debbie,
will you marry me?

Looks like we have
our first question.

Hey, she's taken, pal.

Wait, let me check.
Stand up.

Oh. Ok, no. Sit down.

[Laughter]

Ok, I think we have
another question.

Do you guys do a lot of
practical jokes on the set?

No, not really.
Not at all.

Perhaps you're
thinking of wings.

Now, I seem to remember
hearing a funny story

About a gaffer
and a 220 outlet.

[Cast talking at once]

That was a tragedy.

That was actually
a horrific accident.

His name was don.
Dan.

Super. Next question.

Hi. This is
for dr. Quinn.

If you're really
a robot...

Uh-uh. Cyborg.

How do you get through
airport metal detectors?

Very
carefully.

[Laughing]

[Pop]

Ok.

Ha ha! Great.
Next question.

Yeah, are you supposed
to be your actual
characters right now

Or the actors
playing them?

Absolutely.

Hesh: well,
riddle me this, b*tches!

Why ain't hesh on stage?

Uh...
He isn't here?

Hesh is on location
sh**ting a movie.

Yeah, I think he's playing
a young polish barmaid

On the run
from german r*pe gangs.

Exciting.

Uh... Um...

Sit down!

Ha ha!
Next question.

Yeah, why are women
on sealab

Depicted as sub-human
sexual objects?

I don't know.
Why don't you ask that
wh*re mom of yours?

Well, I would,
but she's deaf.

Eh? It's $5,
same as in town.

Ok. Next question.

This is for sparks.
Do meatwad!

[Cheering]

Oh, yeah, meatball from
alpha teen humper wad.

I don't do that voice.

Oh, excuse me.

Hey, I have a question
for the panel.

Hey, super!

Will there be
a spacecataz
spin-off?

Spacecataz?
What's that?

I'm not sure
what that is.

Mooninites!

Yeah, I think
that's aqua teen also.

We don't, um,
really know about that.

Hey, uh, you guys
want to take off?

I can't.
I'm a paid seat filler.

And my pelvis
is shattered.

Any, uh...
Any sealab questions?

Yes, let's stay
focused on sealab.

I have
a sealab question.

All right!
Fire away!

Now we're on track.

Why isn't
sealab aqua teen?

We'll be right back
after this.

sealab: a legacy of laughter
is brought to you

By grizzlebee's.

Well, how 'bout
a hamburger?

No, I want
something exciting.

You mean like
a cheeseburger?

You mean
cheese boring.

Aah!
Whoa!

Want to spice up
your next date?

Then treat your gal
to the shocker!

A half-pound
of grade-a beef,

Deftly inserted
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All smothered
in tangy grizzle sauce

And spicy chili!

I don't think
I want to try that.

Grizzlebee's!
Home of the shocker!

You may have
to talk her into it.

[Music playing]

Tonight on action news,

Your kitchen sink...
Is it slowly k*lling you?

Plus, doober,
the two-faced kitten.

He's twice as cute
as a regular kitten.

He's also dead.

Wow, welcome back.

Before the break,
we were taking
questions from the...

We want hesh!
We want...

Howdy! I'm a cowboy
from the american range.

When I'm not
punching doggies,

I like to visit
heshmonster.com.

They have a whole roundup
of hesh pics,

Fanfic,
rootin' tootin' ring tones,

And hesh's own blog.

Also, that's
not a question.

Ok, here's a question.

Can you get me away
from this r*pe g*ng?

nein!
dagnab it!

Hey, I want
to say something.

I'm sure you do.

Shanks, I hear you're
the man behind another
voice on sealab.

That's right.
I do marco's voice.

Is that why
my check's so small?

You should see
my check.
Ha ha ha!

I know, right?

I lose more than that
running for the bus.

Actually, we probably make
more for a half-hour of work

Than most of our viewers
take home in a week.

Hell, probably
in 3 weeks.

You poor a*s
b*stards.

Shanks, I hear you're
the man behind another
voice on sealab.

Uh, ok. Ahem.

[Black debbie's voice]
well, the only thing
more shameful

Than how the writers
treat female characters

Is their ham-fisted approach
to the issues of race.

I heard that.

No, I never
noticed any...

Hush your mouth,
child!

Ha ha!
Ok. Let it go.

Makes me want to whip up
a big mess of greasy greens

And black-eyed... Ouch!

That's all black women
understand.

Mother [bleep]!
Aah!

[Crowd gasps]

So, sealab stars,

What can we expect
in season 5?

What, like plots?

Yeah, we don't
really give those out.

Oh, come on,
just a little hint.

Well, there is
one thing.

Here come
the spoilers.

Look out.
Spoilers ahead.

Better turn your tv
down, folks.

Who you talking to?
Nobody's watching.

[Crowd laughs]

'Cause you suck!

Ok, so, one thing that
happens next season...

God, I hope I don't get
into trouble for this...

Ok, one of
the crew members...

Who shall remain
nameless.

Get this. One
of the crew members
gets pregnant.

[Cheering]

But they decide
not to have the baby.

[Silence]

But, you know,
it's funny.

Oh, yeah,
it's totally screwball.

You know, like
bringing up baby.

Only instead of a leopard,
there's an ab*rtion.

Ha ha! Great.
What else can we expect?

We got an episode
where the crew...

Wait, should I even
set this up?

I will!

I don't think
it needs a setup.

No, no, no.
I'll set it up.

Nah, just run the clip.

Damn it!
I want more lines.

Hey! Here you go.

Oh, ok, ok,
[bleep] you.

Crowd: oh!

And [bleep]
all of you, too.

[Groaning]

Thanks.
Let's go to a clip.

When a mad genius
searches for the secret
to eternal youth...

Come on, ontogeny,
recapitulate phylogeny!

Something terrible happens.

Oh, my god.

Terribly adorable!

It's sea babies!

[Babies fussing]

[Crowd laughs]

[Sneezes]

But when these cute little
babies witness a m*rder...

[g*nsh*t]

[All crying]

Crowd: awww!

Quinn: uh, that's all
they've animated so far.

I, uh...
We'll be right back.

Want the great taste
of grizzlebee's
without leaving home?

Don't worry,
'cause grizzlebee's delivers!

Hey, cheryl,
want another shocker?

[Sobbing]
don't talk to me,
you filthy b*stard!

Grizzlebee's.
We deliver the shocker!

Order one tonight
and get a free tossed salad.

Limited time only.

Welcome back to sealab:
a legacy of laughter.

For those just joining us for
this special 30-minute sealab,

You're in for
a real treat. Quinn...

That's right, toni.

Hey, why does
he get the line?

Oh, god, here.
Go buy some shut up!

Wow, what a great teaser.
Scary.

But before we get
to the premiere,

There's a special someone
we'd like to pay tribute to,

A character who,
from day one,

Many of you felt was
the heart and soul of sealab.

I think you know
who I'm talking about.

Thanks, everybody.

You like me!

Captain's log.

You really like me... Aah!

Captain's log.
Never gets old.

As I was saying,

A tribute to one of sealab's
most beloved characters.

[Cast talking at once]

Is this thing on?

All right, sea monkeys!

Aw, there go my n*pples
again there, edith.

How do I look?

Save it for
queen dopplepopalus.

I'm gonna be
an adrian barbobot.

Hey, who's got a peanut
for turtleface?

Don't!
He's allergic!

Do you want the moustache
on or off?

I was trying to get the cat
in the tub, but he's crazy.

He hates it.

You've been in tighter
scrapes than this.

Is there ever a bad time
for pudding?

Hi.

Can I borrow
your pick?

I'll bet your lymph nodes
are as big as cats.

This is my wife.

If you don't want me
to eat you,

Say something.

Rubber spoon, rubber spoon,
rubber spoon, rubber spoon.

Do you want the moustache
on or off?

Aw, clean your ears out, woman.
I want some ba*ls!

I mean, it's like a koala bear
crapped a rainbow in my brain!

During the movie
I gave turtleface
a whole bag of peanuts!

Ha ha ha ha!

Captain murphy,
everybody.

Yeah, that's murphy!

Don't go away because
we'll be right back
after these messages

With a super-fantastic
new sealab premiere.