01x11 - Mama Drama

[bunniefuu]

(upbeat music)

School's out, grades are in,

let the summer fun begin!

Whether it's a cookout, hangout,
kickback, or ki-ki,

We-B-Girlz be Booked-N-Busy!

We're hitting all the spots!

Pool parties!

(gasping)

PARIS: State Fair!

-(rollercoaster rumbles)
-(screaming)

PARIS: Sleepovers any day of the week!

-(dramatic chord)
-(all scream)

PARIS: And of course, one of
the biggest nights of the year:

the Summer Spotlight Skate at Saturdays!

-Look at the little piñata!
-So cute!

-(screaming)
-MR. PERRY: Rogue balloon!

Save yourselves!

(screaming continues)

See? It's gonna be a summer to remember!

(gasping)

(hip hop plays)

♪ Everybody out the way, it's Saturday ♪

♪ All we do is celebrate ♪

♪ As long as I got fun family
And friends ♪

♪ I got everything that I need ♪

♪ Everybody out the way, it's Saturday ♪

♪ We've got a ton of ways ♪

♪ No work, all play, no stress ♪

♪ We got everything that we need ♪

♪ 'Cause there ain't no other
day like Saturday ♪

It's so nice having a man
who's good with his hands.

Oh, don't get me started on my Cal

This man once cut
himself using a rolling pin.

-A rolling pin? (laughs)
-How does that even happen?

Hey, Miss Erica!

Paris Johnson!

Look at you. You shot up
like the Eiffel Tower.

What grade are you in now, sweetheart?

-I'm 'boutta be a freshman in high school.
-Wow!

-Time flies.
-DEB: Yeah.

-So, Miss Erica?
-Mm-hmm.

Are you hear for your twelfth
annual 30th birthday cake?

See, I liked you better
when you couldn't count.

Okay, strut on outta here
so we can finish talking.

Okay. Bye, Miss Erica.

-Remember when she was this tall?
-Oh, my gosh!

I know. I remember when my
daughter graduated 8th grade.

DEB: Mm.

Get ready.

Everything's about to change.

What do you mean?

Well, Cami and I were inseparable.

But once she started high school,

we drifted a bit.

-Some advice?
-Mm.

Hold onto your baby girl
as long as you can.

Oh, I plan on it.

Paris and I will always be BFFs.

Okay.

Emphasis on the B, the F, and the other F.

Okay. (laughs)

-Okay, let's...
-All right, all right.

-get started talking about this cake.
-Yes.

Why don't we change things up a little bit
this year?

Mm. What's better than 30?

Twenty-nine!

-That's why you my girl.
-Mm-hmm.

♪ You can't catch me ♪

♪ You can't catch me ♪

♪ You can't catch me ♪

-Oh!
-Oh.

Layla! Watch out for the booth please!

Sorry! I must've been sleep-skating

after all of this
tired music you keep bumpin'.

Play some House music!

Come on. You know me.
You know I don't do requests.

-Okay, so please...
-Wait, hold up, London.

For the daughter of Radio DJ Magic Maxx,

we might be able to oblige a request.

That is if you can get us
on his Do It or Boo It segment

to get our music heard.

(laughs) Oh, so y'all
lookin' for the hook up?

-What?
-BOTH: Yes.

LAYLA: Well...

my birthday is coming up.

I'm sure Daddy'd grant me
a favor if I requested it

for someone who takes requests.

Oh. (chuckles) Hey, y'all!

I want to make a special
shoutout to our girl Layla,

AKA Lil' LaLa.

We're gonna have House music on deck

for the rest of her birthday month.

(house music plays)

Smooth. sh**t me your demo.

I'll get it to him.

No doubt. I got you!

(both laugh)

Brother, we don't have a demo.

But we will.

Are you ready to drop a beat?

Okay, yes, sir, let's get it!

(laughs) We gonna... Ooh! Wait a minute!

-We still at work.
-Right.

PARIS: Everybody got it?

Five, six, seven, eight...

(R&B plays)

ALL: Twist and stomp.
Then, spin that towel!

ARI: Ow!

I'm okay!

-My bad.
-Yeah.

Paris girl, this dance?
It ain't gonna work.

You're doing too much.

Since when do I do too much?

BOTH: Pet Day Spa.

♪♪

(barking, meowing)

(shrieking)

(chitters)

I thought it was a fancy cat.

-It wasn't!
-Obviously.

-Who's that now?
-Hey!

PARIS: Hey!

I got smoothies!

Oh, Paris...

I know those are not my good towels.

(stammers) Mom? They're props for

the Summer Spotlight Skate.

Duchess has a thing called
"Fun in the Sun."

She has a spotlight rove around the ring

and when it hits your crew,

it's time to shine.

Oh! That's what she's
calling it these days?

-Mm-hmm.
-Okay, we called it "Catch the Light."

Oh!

I didn't brush you up
to that move that I do

called the "Sunblock"?

SPF50. I never showed you that move?

-Uh-uh.
-No!

Oh! Where you start here?

-Right. Okay.
-The sun is in your face.

So here. Then you go to the shoulders.

And then you take it on down.
And you take it on down.

-Oh. Okay.
-Got this?

-Yeah!
-Catch the light.

Catch the light. And you shake it on down.

And you take it on down.

-Ay!
- ♪ You catch the light ♪

♪ And you take it on down uh! ♪

♪ We're besties for the resties ♪

♪ Can't break us, won't shake us ♪

-Okay!
-Ayy! Ayy!

-And then you do this!
-(crack)

(cheering)

That's it right there.

Bestie!

-Bestie!
-Huh?

Help your momma up please.

ALL: Oh!

DEREK: London, drop that beat.

♪♪

Ahh! (grunts)

♪ D-Rok gone give you what you want ♪

♪ D-Rok's gonna give you what you need ♪

♪ You don't want the smoke ahh! ♪

♪ You think it's a joke? Ha ha! ♪

♪ Rarr! Rarr! That's a dog laughing ♪

That's all I got so far.

Wow. That was... (clears throat)

I'm speechless. (chuckles)

Right?

So, um...

-(phone chimes)
-Oh!

My chicken nuggets are ready.

When did you make chicken nuggets?

Twenty minutes ago.

-In my kitchen?
-DEREK: Yeah.

Oh, and your smart oven is awesome.

Crisps them just right. (chuckles)

-Be right back.
-(London chuckles) All right, buddy.

So, Dad...

what did you think of Derek's rapping?

Oh, it felt like a supreme
meat-lover's pizza

with anchovies and
breadsticks stacked on top,

and all you ordered was pepperoni.

Oh, I know.

He's just so over the top.

He gets so hyped.

I don't want to hurt his feelings.

You gotta be real with your boy, son.

I'm sure he can handle a little feedback.

He can't be that sensitive.

♪♪

(sighs) Your smart oven burnt my nuggets.

(crying) Gone too soon.

-Aw!
-Good luck with that.

That smart oven ain't that smart.

♪ Don't tempt me hey ♪

♪ We're the Johnsons, can't break us ♪

♪ Won't shake us hey ♪

-(vocalizes)
-Ah-ah-ah! Really?

With all the "heyy"...

Don't be trying to Johnny Gill
your way into this.

You know this is me and Paris'
little made-up song.

All right. That's fine, if you
don't want this New Edition.

-I know my place.
-Mm-hmm. I don't.

Oh, did you fix the loose wheel
on our little red wagon?

Sure did. I even detailed
the little tires for you.

You are Farmer's Market ready.

Ah! Thank you. I'm excited.

Hey, y'all!

DEB: Hey, baby girl!

Ready to shop produce with your mama?

I mean, look at all this.

I got on my visor, my comfy shoes,

my fanny pack with the
anti-bacterial wipes in it.

'Cause, baby girl, you have always got to
wipe down that fruit.

Okay? You don't know where
people's little devious hands have been.

Oh, Mom, I'm so sorry.

I totally forgot.

Me and the girls are gonna go grab donuts

before we hit up Saturdays.

Can we do it next week?

-Yeah!
-Okay.

Yeah, we can do it next week. That's fine.

-Okay. (chuckles)
-Oh, and bring me back

two Old Fashions, an apple fritter,

and a chocolate eclair
and I'll pay you back never.

All right, Dad.

(clears throat)

You okay over there?

What?

What? Yeah. Fine.

-You sure?
-Yeah!

She's busy. I'm busy. We busy!

It's all good. I'm good. It's fine.

Okay. I see your little wheels turnin'

Don't start overthinking stuff.

Cal, Paris said we would hang out...

later. So that means we will hang out...

later!

Is it later yet?

I thought we could do our nails.

You prefer Petrified Pink
or Turnt Up Turquoise?

Sorry, Mom. I already got my nails done

with Ari and Simone.

-Maybe later.
-Of course!

We'll do it later!

Oh, hey! Is it later yet?

I thought we could watch I Ain't Got

No Love For You Island?

New season just dropped

and the popcorn's popped.

Sorry, I was just about to go binge

Weirder Things with the girls.

Maybe later.

Okay. Later.

Hey! Is it later yet?

I thought we hit up
Big Mama's Beefy Burgers,

before Big Mama's
Beefy Burger coupons expire.

-Let's go.
-Sorry, Mom.

Me and the girls just got back
for Big Mama's Beefy Burgers.

(belches)

-Oh.
-Maybe later.

But we're still on for
Pizza Night tonight, right?

When do I ever miss a
Johnson Family Pizza Night?

(grunts)

May the Johnson Family
Pizza night commence.

All right! Time to grub! Thank you!

-Ah!
-Hey.

No grubbing without Paris!

-Baby, Paris isn't here.
-Say what?

Yeah, I dropped her off at
Simone's for a sleepover

when I went to pick up the pizza.

Paris did not tell me

she was going over to Simone's.

She never misses pizza night.

And neither do I.

And, Dad, I call dibs on Paris' slices.

Okay, whatever. Wait a minute,
what is that over there?

What? Ooh!

And where did you get this (indistinct)

What? Stop running with it!

♪♪

Okay, for the Saturdays' Summer Skate,

I was thinking that
our theme should be sunshine.

You know, with a little bit
of yellow, some orange...

-(gasps)
-Some 50% off?

-Yeah.
-I like 50% off

and do you know
what I like best about 50% off?

-What?
-Is that it goes good with any color.

-Mm-hmm.
-Hey, girl!

Whatcha y'all doin'?

Uh, Mom, what are you doing here?

What am I doing here? Paris, what does
it look like I'm doing here?

I'm shopping. Hello!

But you know what?

I say we blow this boutique
stuff, all right,

and head to the mall. More variety.

Oh, and you guys,
we could go to the food court

and get those little pretzels!

What do you say?

You had me at "mall."

And you had me at pretzel.

Ah! Plus it's my treat.

Yeah, but what about the...

Oh, come on, bestie. Come on.

♪ You might have a mom ♪

♪ She might be fun ♪

♪ But nobody got a mom like mine ♪

Paris!

We-B-Girlz summer!

We-B-Girlz summer!

(panting) We-B... We-B...

We-B-Girlz summer!

Whoo!

Go, Paris!

(laughing)

Oh! Oh, my God!

♪ I cry, she make me feel better ♪

♪ She love me, love me, love me, oh ♪

♪ She love me like nobody else ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

(snoring)

♪ She might be fun ♪

♪ But ain't nobody got a mom like mine ♪

Cal!

Back up off them cookies.

Cal... Oh, my God.

♪♪

(howling)

Yeah!

That's a male wolf saying "What's up?"

to a lady wolf. (chuckles)
I just added that.

So what you think?

Mm. What I think, oh, I think, uh...

I think... Maybe...

you should let someone new hear it.

Get some fresh ears on it.

Fresh ears!

I like how you think, London. (laughs)

Like who?

♪♪

I can't un-hear that.

Say what now?

I mean, that is really bad.

Dumpster-fire bad.

And what's with the howling?

You recorded this in a kennel?

Part of a wolf pack?

Girl, I'm doing something different.

Okay, something no one
has ever heard before.

Yeah, and hopefully never will.

Whatever. All that matters

is that my producer loves it.

-Right, London?
-Huh?

Who asked you anyway?

You guys did.

Minor details.

Doesn't matter anyway, okay?

You see what happens

when we k*ll it on Do It or Boo it.

Am I right, London?

-(stammers) Well...
-Exactly.

You'll see.

♪ How 'bout you? ♪

♪ That's how I walk ♪

♪ How 'bout you? ♪

♪ That's how I dance ♪

DEREK (on PA): Remember, y'all,

during the Summer Spotlight Skate,

when the spotlight hits your crew,

it's time to show those skills.

and pay those bills.

♪ That's how I dance ♪

Oh, gosh, I hope we're next.

Same here. I hope the spotlight
hits my cute side.

Hey, all our sides are cute.

We are cute and ready.

-(laughs)
-We sure are!

Mom, what are you doing here?

-What do you mean?
-Okay, get out of here.

Stop before the spot...

-(R&B plays)
-Okay!

♪ You know I got that flavor
Now get some ♪

Five, six, seven, eight!

♪ You know I got that flavor
Now get some ♪

♪ Get some, get some ♪

DEB: Hey!

♪ Get up and have fun ♪

♪ Girl, you looking so fly ♪

♪ Now get some ♪

♪ Everybody get down and get some ♪

♪ Get some, get some ♪

♪ Now we on a mission here from ♪

♪ Yeah I wanna link up sim-sum ♪

♪ You know I got that flavor ♪

♪ Now get some ♪

Come on, girls! Whoo!

♪♪

All right, we got this.

(cheering)

Whoo!

(laughing)

Guys, did you feel that?

That was amazing! We were great!

No, Mom, you were great.

Hold on. I was pretty good myself, too.

(laughs) Yeah, and I think
some of that greatness

spread my way.

-Ahh!
-PARIS: Mom, Mom...

this summer is supposed to be
about me and my girls

having fun before high school.

But instead...

you're making it all about you.

(stammers)

That is not what I'm trying to do.

I... I was making this about us.

-"Us"?
-Yeah!

"Us" is me, Simone and Ari.

Not you trying to be one of my girls.

Like a Girl-Mom or a...

Mom-Girl...

Whatever it is,

I don't like it.

♪♪

Yo, yo, yo! It's your DJ Magic Maxx.

What's up, Chicago,
on this fine Saturday morning

bringing you the sweet beats
for the streets.

And speaking of sweet,

I got my daughter Layla with me today.

It's her birthday.
Come say hey to the people.

Hey! I'm Layla.

I'm 17. I'm a Gemini.

-And I love...
-Okay, okay! That's enough. That's enough.

Don't hog the mic.

Anyway, she brought two of her friends

who better just be her friends

to play their track
for your favorite segment,

Do It or Boo it.

Say hello to the people.

BOTH: Hello to the people!

-Hey!
-Okay, that just happened.

So introduce yourselves real quick.

Um, I'm London. I'm the producer.

And I'm your boy, Derek "D-Rok" Troy.

And I spit them bars.

(chuckles) I'm from...

Let's not waste anymore time.

Here's "Raise the Woof!"

by DJ London and D-Rok. Let's go.

(hip hop beat plays)

-Okay.
-All right.

London, that's a good beat.

You feel that, headphone-man?

(howling)

Y'all ain't ready for it.

-♪ Yo ♪
-(howling)

♪ D-Rok gonna give you
What you want. Ahh! ♪

♪ D-Rok gonna give you
What you need. Ahh! ♪

♪ You don't want the smoke
You think it's a joke ♪

♪ Argh argh woof woof ♪

♪ That's a dog laughing ♪

♪ Oooh... ♪

Yo!

That was fire right there.

That was fire.

I can't hear what
the listeners have to say.

Neither can I.

We got Lionel from Markham,

What you say? Do it or Boo it?

LIONEL: I mean, I wouldn't say Boo it.

I say k*ll it, set it on fire.

throw the ashes over the lake,

resurrect it and k*ll it again.

All right , we got Candy

from Bronzeville,

CANDY: Um, I hope they're cute,

'cause that music thang

ain't gonna work out for them.

I say boo it.

Okay, we got one more caller.

Darnell from the Southside...

DARNELL: Man, that was so bad,

I threw my hearing aid in the trash.

I say boo it!

Now, hold on, Maxx. Sabrina!

You don't hear me talking on the phone?

No, I don't want no milk!

I told you I was listening to
some nonsense on the radio.

(sighs) Well, obviously...

Darnell doesn't need any milk,

but you two might,

seeing that your song "Raise the Woof"

just got boo'ed.

(booing)

DJ MAGIC MAXX: Sorry, fellas.

Knock, knock.

What's up, lady. You busy?

-Just rearranging my dresser drawer.
-Hm.

Hey. Didn't you used to have
a porcelain doll collection?

Dad, I got rid of those two years ago

when I saw one of them blink.

Well, good move.

(chuckles) So listen...

Been noticing that it's been
a little awkward

between you and your mom lately.

Yeah...

She's just been acting
all clingy weird lately.

Everywhere I go, she has to be there.

I don't know what's going on with her.

Well, what's going on
with her is that she's...

a little insecure because
you're growing up.

One day, you'll be gone.

What? Why would she think that?

I'm not going anywhere.

Trust me, you're going somewhere.

I got plans for this room.

I'm thinking home gym.

-(chuckles)
-Seriously, I think

she's been watching
her little Paris grow up

and it scares her to think that one day,

her Little Paris is not going
to need her as much.

But I'm always gonna need Mom.

She's Mom.

I think she knows that. She just...

forgot for a little while.

Yeah. Can't just stop
growing up for her, Dad.

No one wants you to stop
growing up, Paris.

She just doesn't want
you all to grow apart.

So... try to cut her some slack?

You understand?

-Yeah.
-CAL: Good.

I get it.

So what do you think this room is,

about a 20x16?

I'm thinking treadmill by the window.

Okay, okay. I'll go.

(chuckles)

(door opens)

LONDON: All right, we leavin', we leavin'.

Thanks anyway.

You okay, bro?

Depends.

Are those phones still ringing?

Yeah, yeah, they...they were. Uh...

I think DJ Magic Maxx

had to disconnect the lines, though.

Man, it's funny.

When I was in there listening to the track

and I heard all that
howling and barking...

I was like, "Who's this wack dude?"

Then I realized it was me.

I even wanted to boo me.

Boo...

I'm sorry, man.

I should have been straight up with you.

I should've just told you
the truth from the jump.

You tried.

I mean, you could have tried harder.

But... that was probably...

not easy for you.

Mm, nah, it wasn't. But...

I understand.

You're an artist.

And you're sensitive about your music.

And your chicken nuggets.

(chuckles) Respect the nuggets!

Fellas. If you're done
licking your wounds,

come in here and help
sing "Happy Birthday" to Layla.

-Cool.
-(door closes)

We don't got to if you don't want to.

Let's go.

All right.

DJ MAGIC MAXX: It's ZZUP in the mix!

It's DJ Magic Maxx,

it's a beautiful day in the city.

It's my daughter's birthday,

I want you to join in wherever you are.

And let's sing her "Happy Birthday."

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

(singing beautifully) ♪ Happy birthday ♪

♪ Dear Layla ♪

♪ Happy... ♪

♪ Birthday... ♪

♪ To you... ♪

What in the Baby John Legend was that?

Oh!

That's the song we sing on
people's birthdays.

It's called "Happy Birthday."

No, I've heard "Happy Birthday" before.

But not like that.

Oh, wait... Oh, snap!

The boards are lighting up!
Caller, you're on.

CANDY: This is Candy
from Brownsville again.

I'm just calling to see

who was just singing
"Happy Birthday" right now?

That was formerly boo-ed, D-Rok.

CANDY: Well, if D-Rok wants a boo,

I'm here all day. My number is 555...

Oh, oh, oh, okay, okay!

Caller, you're on.

DENISE: This is Denise from Hyde Park.

Does D-Rok do private parties? For one?

Okay, you got one of our midnight callers.

Go back to bed, Denise!

(sighs) You never know what's gonna happen

on Do It or Boo It.

Next up, we got traffic
with Crash McSweeney.

-(man) And we're out.
-D-Rok.

You're a hit.

Yo, D, why didn't you tell me
you could sing?

'Cause I ain't got no time for singing.

I'm a rapper.

I go hard with it, okay? I got bars.

No.

You got delusion.

You could make it as a singer.

But as a rapper...

Not so much.

If you got anymore music,

bring it by, and I'll slap it in rotation.

Okay. Well, I guess I'm a singer now.

(laughs) Ooh! Yes, sir!

That means we could head on back

and hop on those tracks, man.

-Aight! (laughs)
-LAYLA: Uh, Derek,

you think you could sing
"Happy Birthday" for me again?

Yeah, I...

I think I should go home.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

DEREK: Bye!

-You're doing your nails without me?
-Oh. Hey!

Yeah, I thought you had an
appointment with your girls.

It's all good, Paris.
We could do it another time.

(clears throat) I can help you
with the other hand.

I mean, I know you have trouble with it.

I mean, I really do. (laughs)

Plus... I need to work on my nail game.

Okay.

-(Deb clears throat)
-I just wanted to say sorry

for what happened.

I shouldn't have snapped at you like that.

You didn't deserve it.

No, Paris, um...

I'm sorry.

I have been...

all up in your business and...

and I shouldn't have been.

-And I blame Erica.
-Mm, me, too.

DEB: Mm-mm-mm.

Wait, blame Erica for what?

-For getting in my head.
-PARIS: Mm.

DEB: Paris, she was telling me about...

her and her daughter

and how they don't talk anymore

now that she's all grown up and...

I got worried that that was gonna be us.

Okay. You're listening to
a woman that's on her

twelfth 30th birthday cake.

I wouldn't talk to her if she was my mom.

(laughs)

Ah, maybe you're right.

-Maybe I was doing too much.
-(laughs)

All this time I thought you
got that from your father.

Well, maybe you got it from me.

PARIS: Oh, of course.

I get all kinds of good stuff from you.

Really?

You know, you're always
gonna be my best friend, right?

You know you're always gonna be mine.

Okay.

Now let's go get some real manicures.

This is not cute.

Okay, chill, bestie!

I told you that I was working on it.

You know what?

I'll do you one better.

♪♪

(upbeat music)

♪ Long week Had a long year too ♪

♪ Getting harder to see Brand new ♪

♪ So I keep on smiling Like I do ♪

♪ One look in the mirror
And I'm back in the mood ♪

♪ Gotta soak it up ♪

♪ Good days ♪

♪ Good days ♪

♪ Good days ♪

♪ Gotta soak it up ♪

(hip hop plays)

♪ Ooh, coming to the barbecue ♪

♪ Promise it's gonna be A moo ♪

♪ Holla if you rolling through Like aahh ♪

♪ Bring the homie Bring the boo ♪

♪ You can bring yo mama too ♪

♪ All of it is how we do Ahh ♪

♪ Oh Monday through Friday ♪

♪ Got us like damn ♪

♪ Everybody out the way ♪

♪ It's Saturday ♪

♪ All we do is celebrate ♪

♪ We got everything that We need ♪

♪ 'Cause there ain't
No other day like Saturday ♪