01x13 - Birthday Life

[bunniefuu]

Whoa! Slow down there.

We've got all weekend.

Scary always drinks fast

when she's nervous.

And drooling over someone

from a distance.

Scary, it's just Brian.

You don't have to act

all weird around him.

Frankie, hey.

Hey, 'Lic!

Hey, 'Lic?

I meant, "Hey, Erlic."

I had boba brain. It's a thing.

Wait a minute. Erlic and Brian?

I'm starting to feel like we're here

for more than just boba.

- What? No!

- Never!

It's your Boba-birthday!

Hooray!

And on this very special day

Bobas are free

No need to pay

Glittery Rainbow Bobas

All day, happy Boba-birthday! Hooray!

I want one of those.

Me too. The drink,

not the ridiculous song.

Good news.

You each get one on your birthdays.

Hey, when are your birthdays?

We don't celebrate birthdays

in the Underworld.

What? No, that is not gonna work.

We celebrate birthdays here.

So, I guess you're

gonna have to choose one for yourself.

Now, let's pick a date.

I don't want a birthday. I don't really

like being the center of attention.

But I love it!

I choose

Tomorrow!

I guess we can celebrate

your birthday tomorrow. Why not?

Yay! I can't wait for my song and boba.

And for whatever else happens.

Wait. Does a bakery

give you an extra cookie?

I got one last week.

But it wasn't your birthday.

They don't know that.

Pretty, you're missing the point.

Birthdays are about way more

than destroying your teeth.

They're also about traditions.

Everyone has one. Here, I'll show you.

Erlic, it's Pretty's birthday tomorrow.

Nice, dude. What are you gonna do?

I have no idea.

It's my first birthday

First time having a birthday,

not in Australia.

So I'm teaching him and Scary

about the different ways

people celebrate here.

Uh, what do you do?

I sit for a family portrait every year.

And if I'm able to stay still

all five hours,

my butler, Sebastian,

brings me a slice of cheesecake.

Someone else please go now.

Boba Bobby, what do you do?

Oh, I make my friends

throw me a surprise party every year.

And then I try to outdo my last year's

shocked face. Check this year's out.

Wow! That's good.

Thanks.

Hey, bro.

Bro, it's my birthday tomorrow.

Oh, bro. Happy almost birthday!

How do you celebrate yours?

Every year I get a new lacrosse stick,

and I name it.

I've got Little Catcher, Trapper,

Grabber. And this one's Timothy.

Please tell me

you don't sleep with your sticks.

No!

Nyx, what do you do?

Oh, I start every birthday

by reading my horoscope.

What's that?

It's a prediction about your future

based on when you were born.

You guys only

read your horoscopes on your birthday?

I read mine every day.

Today it said I'd meet my soulmate.

Oh

So, what do you do

on your birthday, Brian?

I measure my carbon footprint

and don't use anything disposable.

It's my gift to the universe.

Later, dudes.

I think your carbon footprint

has a crush on his carbon footprint.

I'll get it.

"Fold the block of butter

into the dough."

Have you ever seen

a block of butter, Martha?

It doesn't fold!

Uh, honey. The principal's here.

Oh, no! Which one of my kids did what?

Don't worry.

This isn't school related.

Oh, good!

I'll just be in the other room,

behaving myself.

Ah!

Well, if you're looking for Nyx,

the girls are still at the boba shop.

Oh, actually, she just wanted me

to drop off this astrology book.

I think she wants to show it to Frankie.

That girl is obsessed

with listening to the stars.

Wish she'd listen to her mother.

I hear ya.

I'm so glad the girls became friends.

So am I. You know,

ever since we moved here,

it's been hard for Nyx

to make new friends.

Me, too, if I'm being honest.

Shockingly, most people

don't want to hang out

with the woman

who gives their kids detention.

Oh, no! Oh, no! My croissants! Oh!

Sacrebleu! Oh!

Sorry, my high school French comes out

whenever I see pastries in distress.

Tomorrow's my first book club meeting

and it's custom for the newbie to host.

The founder, Deborah,

insists that we decorate

to match the spirit of the book,

and to transport the group

into the story through food.

You know, I know Deborah.

Her son Tyler's in my office a lot.

Well, this month's

book is Emeralds in Paris.

Hence, burnt croissants.

I have that book on my nightstand.

I use it as a coaster.

Well, that's fate!

Why don't you join us?

I mean, Deborah would be impressed

by someone who speaks French,

and it's a great way

for you to meet people.

What do you say?

Oui, oui!

I never turn down a free croissant.

Ooh, you know what? I gotta go.

I'll get the details when I pick up Nyx.

- Au revoir!

- Ciao!

Wrong language.

- I knew that.

I didn't know that.

Hey, Mom. Why are you reading a book?

You don't even go to school.

Ooh! Emeralds in Paris?

You know this book?

Do I know it?

I could recite it in my sleep.

We listened to the audio book

on our Thanksgiving road trip.

It was way better

than having to talk to each other.

So what's your favorite part?

Oh, you know the part

Under the Eiffel Tower.

You're funny,

Mrs. Ripp. In Paris, Texas?

Oh, you haven't read it, have you?

I've just been so busy burning pastries,

I just ran out of time.

Sounds like you need

to do your homework, Mom.

Like you always say,

"Your homework

isn't going to do itself."

Oh, that felt good.

Hey, guys, tomorrow's my birthday.

- It is?

- It is?

It is. And we need your help

teaching Pretty about our traditions.

Ooh, I've got a good one.

So, the day before my birthday,

I stay up till midnight to try to catch

a glimpse of the birthday fairy.

Dude, you know

there is no birthday fairy.

Yeah, totally.

Forgive me, birthday fairy.

Well, my tradition's even better.

Hold please.

The suspense is k*lling me.

Behold, the Remy Ripp Binder

of Dreamy Desserts.

I order one with my dad's credit card,

every year.

And I pretend like

I don't know. It's a game we play.

Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum! Wait.

There's a pot of

warm chocolate you dip things into?

Yep, it's called fondue.

It's full of disgusting germs.

So, I fon-don't.

I love all these birthday traditions.

And you haven't even heard about

the best birthday tradition of them all.

Say it with me, kids.

Rippy the Clown!

- Oh.

- Oh, Rippy!

- Say what now?

- Who is that?

Rippy is a clown costume that's been

passed down in my family for years.

My dad wore it. His dad wore it.

One of these days,

I'm going to pass him down to you guys.

Rippy's totally vintage.

And straight up creepy.

For some reason,

our ancestors wanted to terrorize us.

Any chance he has

a slightly creepy catchphrase?

"It's Rippy time."

Yep, that'll scare kids.

Better go look for him.

I'm pretty sure I saw him

under your bed last week, Dad.

Thanks, son. You're the best!

He's really in the linen closet.

Let's go hide him

before my dad remembers.

Sorry, that clown

has freaked me out since birth.

He cannot be resurrected.

Here they are, my favorite tradition!

Birthday crowns!

Mom makes me a new one every year.

I have all 14 of mine in that box.

Okay, I'm not into sappy stuff,

but this is straight-up adorbs.

And I never say "adorbs."

I'm so confused. I can't decide

what to do for my birthday.

I like everything.

Oh, wait. I know!

I'll do a combo of all your traditions.

Except Rippy. I am not budging.

Now, where is that clown?

I know he's somewhere around here.

Hey, Dad, have you checked in the attic?

Mom stashes everything up there.

Oh, great idea! Thanks for the help.

Hey, I'm just a boy

who likes helping people.

Let's go throw him

in the washing machine.

Dad'll never look in there.

Okay.

Moving on, since Pretty's

birthday party's last minute,

we should keep it small.

Great! I just want my friends,

crazy loud music,

and to move these feet

all over the dance floor.

Ooh, I can't wait, Scary.

Can we pretend it's your birthday too?

No. Birthdays sound gross and stressful.

Come on. I'm not doing this without you.

Well, then you're not doing it.

Okay. I'm doing it without you.

Wendi, you have outdone yourself.

Ooh. This honkey-tonk hoedown

is gonna blow

those book clubbers' minds! Yeehaw!

Ow, oh (CLEARS THROAT) Hmm.

Hey, Mrs. Ripp. Remy wanted me to ask

if you have any garbage bags

big enough to fit a body?

I have too much going on

to even ask what that means.

So, under the sink in the kitchen.

Thanks. Ooh, cool boots!

But why does it look

like a hoedown in here?

Because you said

the book was set in Texas.

Oh, Mrs. Ripp,

have you still not read it?

It's about a French heiress

being conned by a studly oil rigger.

It's a little Texas,

a little French, and a lot of love.

What? Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Okay. No, this is fine. I'm fine.

I'll just add a few more

French decorations.

That'll impress Deborah.

Or maybe just read the book.

Hey, who is the adult here?

Okay. You can do this.

Page one.

Stay focused, Wendi.

You're going to Paris

Texas.

So, maybe it's just Paris.

Oh, I see you invited Erlic.

Interesting!

Yeah, because he has DJ equipment.

And fine, he's super cute.

What's his DJ name? DJ Crush?

Crushed ice.

Crushed ice. I forgot crushed Ice.

How did I forget crushed ice?

'Cause I always forget crushed ice.

Oh, crushed ice.

End of the line, Rippy.

How could you be afraid

of this funny nose and big smile?

It's not funny, it's creepy. And smelly.

And you haven't even heard

the laugh my dad does.

Gives me nightmares

and daymares about my nightmares.

Take it off!

Boys?

What's with all the screaming?

I'm sorry, Mrs. Ripp.

We were pretending

we were on a roller coaster.

How am I supposed to finish this book

with all these distractions?

Carson, I'm gonna need your help.

Way ahead of you, Mrs. Ripp.

I already put together some highlights.

Like when Beau crossed

his fingers and said, "I do."

What kind of garbage book is this?

You will not speak ill

of Emeralds in Paris.

Mrs. Ripp, I'll give you these cards

if I get first dibs on those boots.

I've been practicing my line dancing.

If you're a size six, they're yours.

I'm a size seven

but I've got a passion for fashion.

I'll make it work.

There you are.

I've been looking for you.

I need your help

with my birthday speech.

Oh, I didn't think it could get

any worse. You're gonna do a speech?

Yep. This is what I have so far.

I'd like to thank the Ripps

for giving me

a day that's just about me.

That's it?

What would you say?

I don't know. Uh, maybe, mention

that it's nice to feel included?

Ooh. That's good.

And that it makes you feel important.

And And

And being part of traditions

makes you feel loved and

And like family.

Wow, you're good at speeches, Scary.

Now, I appreciate my birthday even more.

I had no idea how much it mattered.

Yeah. Me neither.

Glad that's done.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm going to set out

milk and cookies for the birthday fairy.

Ooh, Mom.

The principal's here. You're in trouble.

Fake sick. It always saves me.

I heard that, Carson.

You're lucky I'm off duty.

So, that book's a real page-turner, huh?

Right? That scene where he crosses

his fingers and says, "I do". Masterful.

Nyx, your mom is here.

How in the world

did you fill these eclairs so perfectly?

Mmm, by calling the bakery

and having them do it.

Are we in The Upside Down?

Are our moms becoming friends?

Ew!

Really looking forward to coming over

tomorrow night for book club.

- Come on, Nyx.

- Bye.

Wait, what? Tomorrow night? Here?

But that's when

we're having Pretty's birthday party.

Pretty's birthday?

Why am I only hearing about this now?

I can't cancel book club, Frankie.

Deborah will ban me for eternity.

It's okay, Mrs. Ripp.

I can pick a new birthday.

I don't want Deborah to ban you

for eternity.

That's a long time.

Thanks for your understanding, Pretty.

And I promise

we will make your birthday special,

no matter what day it is.

This isn't fair!

Pretty's birthday

is supposed to mean something.

Like he's part of the family.

You can't just move

peoples' birthdays around.

That doesn't make him

feel included. Or loved.

And he deserves to meet Rippy!

That was weird.

Yeah. It's almost like she cares.

O-M-G, she cares!

Come on, Scary. Talk to me.

Pretty, can you come up here?

We need your help.

She's been in there since last night.

She even missed dad's

butter cookie pancakes.

Don't worry, I ate them.

Scary, it's me, Pretty.

I'm okay with moving my birthday.

Can you be okay with it too?

Please?

Scary, answer me!

Where's Scary?

Great. I've been talking

to an empty closet for 30 minutes.

Bobas are free

No need to pay

Glittery Rainbow

Bobas all day

Happy Boba-birthday

Hooray!

Hit me again.

I've already sung to Scary three times.

She's making me regret

instituting bottomless birthday bobas.

I think I'm gonna boba-lose it.

Three bobas? And two ripped napkins?

Scary, wanna talk about it?

I guess between hearing about

all the traditions and seeing Pretty

get even more excited than usual,

I realized maybe I did want a birthday.

But it doesn't matter anymore.

Your mom has her book club.

So, whatever.

Quick, we need a brainstorm.

What kind of things does Scary like?

She likes silence.

And listening to music

on her headphones.

And hanging out with Brian.

Fine. And Rippy the Clown.

I got it.

I know a way we could still celebrate

and stay out of Mom's way.

Pretty, can you distract Scary,

so we can get everything ready?

- On it.

- Remy, you come with me.

Let's be clear.

I don't like you and you don't like me.

But this is for Scary.

And stay out of my dreams.

Well, I've looked everywhere.

That's it. I give up.

Rippy's gone. We had some good times.

Hey, Dad. You, uh, seen my jacket?

I can't find it.

Now, son, what do I always tell you?

Check the most obvious place first.

Rippy!

I can't believe it.

I thought

I looked in there already.

Are you as excited as I am?

Totally.

Hey, guys.

I said the living room was off limits.

Oh, no. Get that clown out of here.

Fine. Your loss.

Outstanding job

fusing Texan and Parisian decor.

Country elegance

is such an under-appreciated aesthetic.

Mmm. It does have a certain

je ne sais quoi, doesn't it, Deborah?

Oh. And, have you

tried Wendi's famous homemade eclairs?

Ah! Tres magnifique.

Wendi, you will have to

share that recipe.

Oh, I wish I could,

but it's a family secret.

Well, ladies! Welcome, welcome!

Bonjour, bonjour.

I think it's time to begin.

Ah, Wendi, why don't we start

with your overall thoughts?

Sure. Sure. I just happened

to jot some notes down

that I'm having trouble reading.

Is that a doodle of a dragon?

Okay, um Emeralds in Paris

is, well,

a suspense-filled romantic thriller

that keeps you guessing.

The Snickering Sentinel gave it

four out of five stars.

Are you just reading

the blurb off the back?

No! No. I could not put this book down.

That really big ending was

Something.

Okay, I didn't read it!

Okay, I just, I got so focused

on "transporting you

into the story through food"

that I just ran out of time.

Oh, dear. I'm sorry.

I let this little charade

go on too long.

No one ever reads the book.

Except you, Jeanie.

Take the hint and find

a new club already.

It's just a little game

we play with our newbies.

Our club is really just

an excuse to gossip, dine and unwind.

I didn't read the book either.

Every time I picked it up,

I fell asleep.

Right? It worked better

than my weighted blanket.

Yes.

Why are we going around back?

Book club's in the living room.

So it's easier this way.

Surprise!

Nice shocked face.

Not as good as Boba Bobby's,

but pretty good.

It's a silent disco.

This is exactly

how I'd want to celebrate.

I love silence, and Pretty loves disco.

You know what's even better?

Celebrating traditions together.

Speaking of, I made these for you.

This is the best birthday ever!

It's Rippy time!

Rippy? Now, this is

the best birthday ever!

Happy birthday, best bro.

I got you a lacrosse stick.

I'm gonna name it "Dio Junior."

Bro, you're gonna make me cry.

Happy birthday, Scary!

Uh, since you're so far away from home,

I thought I would

bring Australia to you.

Aw, you're so cute.

I mean the koala bear's so cute.

Don't let him get rained on.

He's biodegradable.

Hey, I'm proud of you

for giving Dad back the costume.

Pretty and Scary are part of the family.

Plus, I've matured.

Being scared of clowns is for babies.

Never gets old.

Oh, look. Our moms

are getting their groove on.

I can't watch this.

Then stop watching and dance.

Turns out the book club

is just an excuse to party.

So, let's party!

What the

Hey, DJ, my channel changed.

Is this your way of asking me to dance?

Only if you're gonna say yes.

Where you go, I'll go too

It's only life if I'm

Livin' it with you

Every lifetime

And then we locked eyes

and the most romantic song

played on our headphones!

Oh, I hate how much I love this.

It's pretty sappy. Tell us more!

The equipment's all packed up.

Thanks again for coming to the rescue.

Anything for you.

Uh, and Pretty and Scary.

I'm gonna go use the restroom.

Oh, someone's in there,

but you can use the one upstairs.

Second door on the left.

Thanks for doing all this

for me, Frankie.

Well, get used to it.

It's happening again next year.

Frankie, can you come up here?

He must be lost. Be right back.

Hey, don't you know it's bad manners

to go sneaking around someone's room?

Wait, what's wrong?

Erlic, it's not what you think.

I trusted you.

I thought you were different.

But you're just like

everyone else in this town.

Using me. For what?

'Cause I'm a Snickering?

You want access to my great-grandfather?

I thought

you actually liked me for me.

I do! I really do.

Look, I don't know

what your plan is with all this,

but I don't want anything

to do with it. Or you.

Wait, I can explain.

I don't think you can.