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01x06 - Keyword music

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Best Heart Attack of My Life". Aired: 24. Jan. 2025.*
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For Ariel Santoro, life knows only one direction at the moment, and it's going downhill. His wife Isabel has recently left him, and his health is deteriorating rapidly, partly because of his obesity and his tendency to smoke excessively.

01x06 - Keyword music

Post by bunniefuu »

THE EVENTS AND CHARACTERS PORTRAYED

IN THIS SERIES ARE REAL.

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO FICTION

IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.

(synthesizer, deep resonance)

-(small bells music)

-(deeply inhales and exhales)

ARIEL: Today, I went to the park,

but not to run.

Exercise, in order to be healthy

needs to be mental too,

not only physical.

It's just establishing contact

with oneself, with the vacuum.

With the emptiness

where things are created.

Universe, give me a signal.

I need to find Concha.

-What are you doing, kid?

-(music stops)

Are we going to run or not?

Yes, but let's bet.

Don't waste your money, kid.

Afraid of losing your retirement money?

Fifty dollars.

I don't want to take all your money.

Dollars?

Let's make it 100.

If that's what you want.

Your mother told me you are kind of broke.

Are you bedding my mother?

I'm a gentleman.

A gentleman doesn't talk

about such matters.

-Let's go.

-(old west tune)

We'll run to the end of that pathway.

ARIEL: Racewalking, eh?

You're jogging.

(ringtone)

-Hi.

-CONCHA: d*ck.

-Hi, Ariel?

-Yes, yes!

Where are you?

Here, sorry. (breathless) Sorry.

Oh, excuse me, I'll call you back later.

Seems you're in the middle of something.

No, no, no, it's okay.

I'm just working out.

-How are you? What a nice surprise.

-Listen, d*ck.

We have to talk, it's important.

Let's meet, okay?

Yes.

Okay, whenever, wherever.

All right, I'll tell you where

after I choose a place.

Okay.

Why are you laughing?

You just lost 100 dollars.

It works. Meditation works.

The Best Heart Attack of My Life

6. THE FULL ORCHESTRA

(lively guitar music)

-Mom. Can I brush my teeth?

-Come in.

I'm reading your book. It honestly sucks.

-As long as you like it

-I didn't. At all. It's garbage.

Don't get mad, it's what it is.

I'll leave it here.

Son, you don't know

the gift you have, do you?

(sorrowful guitar)

No, you don't.

(door closes)

THE MAGNIFICENT VIGILANTE

(car horns)

BRIGANTI SHOWS HIS BOOK

Oh, oh. You look great!

-Changes, Clarita, changes.

-(music fades out)

Congrats on your best-seller, although

we both know credit doesn't belong to you.

(mocking sounds)

I assure you this book will become

a prescribed reading for law students

a few years down the line.

Next!

(soft, alluring string music)

DAVID: Sit down.

-Okay.

-Nice clothes, eh?

Here, some green

would also look good on you.

Upgrade your car and everything.

Look at it.

(music continues)

What's this?

I told you.

That guy may seem haughty,

a blabbermouth, an idiot,

but he keeps his word.

Are you sure about this?

I don't want any trouble.

Listen for yourself.

BRIGANTI: Give Chubby his bonus, please.

Briganti follows through.

Briganti, a stand up man he be.

No bullshit, banks, checks,

losers still stuck using bank accounts.

Fresh bucks in your hands,

ba-ba-bang, baby.

Chubby.

It sold like hotcakes.

Everyone wants to know

how's the life of a guy like that.

We need to start writing part two.

No way, no, no.

He's enthralled and wants a trilogy.

I won't do it, David.

I have other plans for my life.

It's not a poetry book.

I think it might pique your interest.

-I don't want to keep making--

-No, stop, stop. I get it.

But to be honest, saying no

to a guy like Briganti is too difficult.

Oh, I know. Omar can help you.

The ghostwriter's ghostwriter, yeah.

Sounds like a nice book.

Think it through.

(car horns)

(sighs)

(indistinct conversations)

I'M HERE!

(cell phone beeps, buzzes)

(cell phone beeps)

Hey, Mr. d*ck.

-Hi.

-María de las Conchas.

-How are you?

-I'm sitting there.

You look very different.

In a good or bad way?

In a good way.

So much change in a few months.

-WAITRESS: Hi there.

-Hi.

-Eh, I want pineapple juice.

-Okay.

-And, um, do you have croissants?

-Yes, vegetable fat and lard ones.

-Two vegetable fat ones. And an alfajor.

-Okay.

-Please.

-A cornflour one is okay?

-I love those.

-Perfect.

What about you?

Coffee with a dollop of skimmed milk

and saccharine.

-Okay. I'll be right back.

-Thanks.

-Ariel, I wanted

-No.

-No, really, I wanted to say I'm sorry.

-Yes, but--

-For the way everything--

-No hard feelings, no regrets.

-Okay?

-Okay.

-Oh, don't get so emotional

-I'm fine.

-No, but

-Lately, I'm touchy.

But I'm fine.

I thought you were gone.

-To Spain.

-No, still here. I stayed here.

-Really?

-I live at a nearby guesthouse

and I work at a dance center close by too.

I can't believe you were here

all this time.

(romantic piano music)

I sorely missed you, Concha.

I do know that all this may give you

serial k*ller vibes, but

I wanted

to give it to you

instead of you finding it in a library,

because that would have been weird.

"In Concha, you can see

the purity of humanity,

the adventure of living in the now,

the curiosity

of taking unknown roads, accepting

(breathes deeply)

with a smile what life

and destiny provide at every step.

-My Concha is light.

-Light.

But also everything."

Is this about me

or about women in general?

-No, it's about you.

-(quavering voice) Me?

Oh, you didn't like it. Sorry.

Don't cry, please. I'm sorry.

No, it's okay. I love it.

Ariel, I have to tell you something.

I must go to Uruguay.

To Montevideo, to Javier and Alejandra's.

I have to thank them

for what they did for me.

We can go together.

I just thought it could be

eye-opening.

-Even romantic.

-(laughs)

Uruguay again?

Okay, it's a bit weird.

I just don't want things

to stay stuck where they are.

I understand

we barely know each other, but

I don't feel a stranger with you.

Rather the entire opposite.

And I promise this time,

my heart won't give out.

(music stops)

(foghorn blaring)

MAN ON SPEAKER: Last call.

Buquebus requests all passengers

bound to arrive in Montevideo at 7:30

get to the boarding gate number one.

The ship's about to weigh anchor.

(recording voice memo)

María de las Conchas, where are you?

I won't board this ship without you.

(cell phone beeps, buzzes)

YOU HAVEN'T BOARDED?

GET ON IT, I'LL EXPLAIN LATER!

(tense string music)

Here you go.

YOUR FUTURE, SECURED

(tender chords)

(recording) Concha, where are you?

I'm here, by the bar.

Eh, well, I'll wait for you here.

See you later.

(cell phone buzzing)

(beeps)

Hi, Concha, where are you?

Mr. d*ck, I'm sorry,

I can't hear you well.

See, I had an issue and won't

won't be boarding the ship.

-But are you all right?

-Yeah, don't worry.

We'll go for coffee

when you return if you want.

Don't worry.

-Well, of course, Concha. Hi?

-Bye.

(foghorn blaring)

Hello, hello. Hi?

(soft accordion plays)

(foghorn blaring)

Hi. Wait. Hold the door just a sec.

Hi, wait. I have to leave.

-I need to leave. Wait.

-You can't.

-No, no, no.

-I have a problem in Buenos Aires.

-I need to get off.

-Please, it's closed already.

(discordant, wistful music)

I wanted to swim back to Buenos Aires

holding on to a pack of cigarettes.

Her standing me up hurt a lot.

Anyway, I mustered the courage

I didn't have,

because I owed them my life

and had to pay.

I had something important to do.

(music stops)

-JAVIER: Hey. Welcome.

-ALEJANDRA: How are you?

-ARIEL: Ladies first.

-JAVIER: Don't say that.

ALEJANDRA: You look great!

JAVIER: All good?

Thanks.

Concha

It's a bit of a long story.

Instead, tell me,

you are still renting, yeah?

Do you ask them for an ECG

before coming in?

No.

-Of course, he doesn't know.

-Oh.

JAVIER: Of course he doesn't.

No, some stuff happened.

You won't believe who came here

a couple days after you left.

Who?

(doorbell rings)

-(with American accent) Javier? Alejandra?

-ALEJANDRA: Yep.

-Joe, Joe?

-Yeah, Joe! How are you?

Cool.

(uplifting piano music)

I think for an hour, they doubted

whether I was the CEO of Airbnb, or

a burglar. (chuckles)

-Oh, my God.

-JAVIER: Roast.

ALEJANDRA (English): Here it is!

Uruguayan roast, Joe.

-This is the real thing.

-The best one.

Oh, thank you so much. This is crazy!

-Yeah, you like it?

-It's so crazy.

-I hope you enjoy.

-Oh, my God.

Picture this.

Our first guest had a stroke

in his first night.

We couldn't believe it.

ALEJANDRA: Incredible.

The taxi ride to the hospital,

that must've been

-No. Ale.

-Yeah.

You're going to laugh, but

when I was driving to the hospital,

when I had to talk to the policeman

I kind of

I thought I was in a movie.

You know? Like

It made the fear go away.

We were already in a difficult situation.

And we thought

it couldn't get worse.

But life

Complicated?

Difficult.

Hard.

I actually went down to Uruguay

to learn more about Ariel's story,

and there, I found another story

really interesting.

Javier and Alejandra's.

(birds chirping)

(music continues)

(Javier in Spanish) Charlie, X-ray,

Sierra, Alpha, Alpha, Bravo. Over.

Standing by.

(radio static)

-(in English) Nice hair.

-(Javier laughs)

JOE: Yeah, I mean, send me the analytics,

and

Hold on, let me call you back.

JAVIER: Joe.

I'm going downtown. Do you need something?

I'll go with you.

I'm going to the clinic for the dialysis.

I'd love to go, if you don't mind.

Really?

(in Spanish) Carlitos, he's Joe.

A friend from California.

(in English) Nice to meet you.

-(in Spanish) Hi, Joe.

-(in English) Joe, he's a big friend.

(in Spanish) Did you show him

your project?

No.

Tell him.

(in English) What project?

I'm working on an idea.

(in English) It's-- it's good idea.

It's nice, but it's

it's difficult to

I like difficult ideas.

You developed this?

Yeah. I'm working on it.

CONNECTUS BUSINESS PLAN

JOE: Cool.

Well, let's get started

with some morcilla and chorizo.

-Thank you.

-Yeah.

Let's eat.

Ale.

-(in Spanish) He cooked.

-Wow!

(in English) I learned from the best.

Yeah? You did it all by yourself?

Yeah, I have a good teacher.

Yeah, but you learn fast.

Yeah. And I know you want your

-(in Spanish) morcilla dulce.

-But I'll wait

-I'll wait for the meat.

-Uh-huh.

Okay.

-Cheers.

-Yes, cheers!

-Yes.

-L'chaim.

An honor, having you here.

No, it's it's an honor for me.

And I thought about your idea.

You know, the one

we talked about at the hospital.

You like it?

It's really good.

I know. (laughs)

But I feel like it's lacking in something.

It's lacking a lot of things

because it's

-just a draft.

-Draft.

That's not what I meant.

Have you ever thought about

connecting travelers all over the world?

Going global?

Yes, he thought about it,

but it's too expensive.

-We can't afford that.

-Well, that doesn't matter.

It's a great idea

and it's never been done.

-You have a business plan?

-Yes.

-Send it to me.

-Perfect.

Okay.

Oh, my God. I'm gonna burn my asado.

(Javier in Spanish) Oh, please.

JOE: When he emailed me

the business plan,

I reached out to our Biz Dev team

to make an evaluation.

Airbnb was the ideal platform

for transforming Javier's project

into something global.

Guys, take care. It was a

(laughs)

-All right, awesome.

-Awesome.

-(cell phone beeps, buzzes)

-(in Spanish) I still can't believe it.

(Javier laughs)

What?

What?

JAVIER: Then, a few minutes

after Joe's taxi left,

I got a notification on my cell phone.

At first, I thought it was the payment

for the 10 days he had stayed with us,

which we didn't want to accept.

But the amount was a little higher.

A seven-figure transfer,

in dollars, with a message from Joe.

What did it say?

"I'm not doing you a favor."

That. "I'm not doing you a favor.

This is business."

And a very good business, at that.

JAVIER: And after Joe left,

he created a WhatsApp called "Family."

What do you think?

See, Ale and me are the other members.

-A billionaire. Doesn't make sense.

-(Alejandra laughs) Unbelievable.

To be honest, you render me speechless.

I don't know what to say.

No, I wasn't expecting this story.

I came to tell you my story.

My life after the heart attack, Concha.

But this story, I

You win.

Well, please tell me more tomorrow.

Sleep tight.

JAVIER: Ariel.

When I lost everything,

I knew that I had the most important thing

by my side.

I had Ale.

Go look for her. There's something there.

I saw it. Believe me when I say I did.

Good night.

(door closes)

THE MAGNIFICENT VIGILANTE VOLUME II

The best heart attack of my life

(happy string music)

(exhales)

ARIEL: Augusto, eh, Augusto,

eh, Augusto, eh, we have to talk.

No, I don't know where to start.

First, I thought it was a block,

the regular ghostwriter block.

Different from book-signing writers'.

It's worse, it has other complexities.

ENDOSCOPY OF A DEDICATION

JAVIER AND ALEJANDRA HAVE A

I did the usual things: created mind maps,

got an app to breathe better,

slept on the floor.

Nothing works, I can't.

I sit down to write

but nothing comes out, nothing.

Sorry, Augusto.

Please don't have me k*lled,

not now, that I am doing well.

Sorry, wholeheartedly. You don't know

how hard it is for me to tell you this.

SAD, SALTLESS AND SMOKE FREE

ROBERTA (louder and louder):

Ariel, Ariel, Ariel, Ariel, listen to me!

LOVE IS A RUBBER BAND

MY MOTHER, TWICE A WIDOW OF ALMOST 70

ARIEL: I open the file and I can feel

my fingers numbing one by one,

and suddenly, bang!

Like an electric shock, but in my arms.

When it reaches my guts, it twists them.

I don't know what's wrong, Augusto.

I think the heart attack affected me

metaphysically, existentially.

I don't know if you follow.

(music continues)

JOE GEBBIA SAYS THAT IF ARIEL SANTORO

HAD PICKED ANY OF THOSE HOUSES,

OR A TRADITIONAL HOTEL,

HE WOULD BE DEAD TODAY

David,

look, I don't know

if Chubby is microdosing shrooms,

or if the cig abstinence hit him hard,

if he's taking on too much debt, but

I don't see him doing well upstairs, eh?

He's overflowing, needs to be contained.

I dunno, take him to a cabaret,

get him some whiskey,

get him to stop his diet,

but get him the pills.

Tell him that Augusto Briganti

is going to support him.

No pressure.

There's always time for good things.

THE END

(music stops)

The best heart attack of my life

(parked indicator clicks on and off)

(keys jingling)

(car door opens)

Hi, excuse me, María de las Conchas?

From the class

-Upstairs, please.

-Upstairs?

Yes, yes.

(unintelligible voices)

(stomping)

(unintelligible voices)

CONCHA: Okay, and Pom. (clapping) Pom.

Put your hand a little higher.

Very good. Let's go again. (clapping)

Ariel. What are you doing here?

I wanted you to be the first person

to read it.

Well, the second. My editor received it

a couple of hours ago already.

You put it in writing.

(uplifting string music)

"To Concha who went looking for them.

To Javier and Alejandra who came."

Sorry. I dropped by without notice,

interrupted the class.

And you're busy with your girls,

your class, your place.

But I wanted to show you this.

Somehow, I could give

words and structure

-Ariel

-to this story.

(sighs) I'm pregnant.

Won't you say anything?

The thing is, I can't have kids.

Throughout all these years, I never could.

Let's see. Let me tell you something.

I haven't been with anyone else.

I won't ask for anything.

I just want you to know

-because right now, it is important.

-You don't understand.

I thought

I couldn't have children, you get it?

This is a miracle.

I'm still thinking.

Oh.

I don't know what I want.

I do a bit, but

I'm scared.

And sorry I didn't tell you before.

I couldn't.

-I didn't know.

-You don't have to explain anything.

I want to be close.

If you want. And you have to do

what you want, not what you don't.

Of course, I would be glad

if you wanted, you get it?

But I'm close for anything you need.

And I will make you very happy.

(sighs)

(music continues)

Tragedies transform you.

And beyond the twists of fate, if you

If you manage to take back control,

if you give breathing room

to what you feel,

things will happen.

Very beautiful things.

(music stops)

-Ready? Well, let's see, sorry.

-(woman talking in the background)

-Honey, are you okay?

-He's fine. He was a bit mad.

-(woman) Thank you very much.

-Thanks.

-Okay.

-Yes? Are you okay?

-Are you okay? Let's go.

-Yes.

(sighs)

THE BEST HEART ATTACK OF MY LIFE

Okay.

Thank you very much, everyone, for coming.

I'm really grateful.

For me, there are no coincidences.

It's we shape our destiny

with every decision we make.

And it's all those decisions we make

what brings about what we call luck.

Well, I was lucky to find Concha

and a heart attack along my path.

Really, I believe that

if you're to come out standing,

I recommend it.

(laughter)

"Poor people.

Javier and Alejandra

were having a bad streak

of which unknowingly I was the last straw

that broke the camel's back.

This book is for them.

Because the night Concha went to them,

they were sad and downcast.

Because they could have ignored

the call for help and they didn't.

It's easy to save others

when you yourself are safe.

But they weren't. They rushed magnanimous.

During the worst period in their lives."

Thank you.

(light string music)

-Shall we?

-Let's do it.

(heartbeat)

HEARTBEATS AFTER THE HEART ATTACK

HERNÁN (THE ACTUAL ARIEL)