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Boot Camp (2024)

Comedy Movie Collection.
(Buddy/Dark/Black/Parody/Screwball/Slapstick/Sketch/Satire/Spoof/Mock/Comedians/etc.)

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Comedy Movie Collection.

Boot Camp (2024)

Post by bunniefuu »

Son of a Gippeswic.

Irabelle.

I told you not

to trespass here.

You told me not to follow you.

And yet here you are.

As I recall,

you were the one

following me just now.

I should have you quartered

for such insolence.

Whitney? Whitney?

Whitney!

Get your a*s out of bed

or you'll miss the big night!

Whitney!

You cannot hide up here

all night.

Who said I was hiding?

That...

That is a special edition.

Hey!

Prom is a rite of passage.

Yeah. You're right. I...

I can't wait to tell

my grandkids about the time

I dry-humped that gormless

meat-sack from Algebra II.

Isn't there a small part of you

that wants to celebrate

everything you accomplished?

Not really.

Jonah, how is your mother?

Pumped to be an empty-nester.

Is Whitney here?

Uh, yes. Whitney!

What kind of monster

shows up at the front door?

The monster that you've been

in love with since you were 5.

So come on, let's go. Go!

Hey, be cool!

Jonah.

What are you doing here?

Oh. I'll let you two chat.

Mm.

You look so fancy.

Oh, really? I thought

it might be a bit much.

No, no, no.

Um, shouldn't you be at prom?

That's kind of why I'm here.

I was hoping

you might come with me.

I can't imagine how Willow

would feel about that.

Oh, we broke up.

Yep. For real this time.

Look, we've known each other

our entire lives

because of our dads,

and you've always

been there for me,

and I want to be here

for you.

I wasn't really planning

on going.

Whitney, I'm not

going to let you

miss out on the greatest night

of our lives.

Especially since there's...

There's no one else

I'd rather go with.

Please don't make me beg.

She'd love to!

Sorry!

He is not going to be able

to keep his eyes off of you.

Willow's gonna have my a*s.

Jonah would never

let that happen.

Okay. But what if

she sees us together?

She kept the two of you apart

for four years,

and now he wants you

and she can't do

anything about it.

Aha.

Ha, gorgeous.

Get it on, come on.

You're gonna be so cute.

I look ridiculous.

What about the blue?

You know, just one quick...

Hook it up. Okay. Okay.

It's like I'm going through

the womb again.

There you go.

Yeah. Okay. All right.

Yeah. Okay.

Okay. Farewell.

Yes.

Hello.

Perfect.

And?

Oh... your boobs look amazing.

Should we get you

all made up?

I'm really more of

an Ethereum guy.

Do you guys know what an NFT is?

Wow.

I feel like one of those

Barbie dolls...

stuck in a birthday cake.

You clean up real nice, Whit.

It actually hasn't

been terrible...

minus Willow burning holes

in the back of my head.

Oh, I hadn't noticed.

Jonah...

there's something

that I've wanted to say...

for a long time.

And--

Whit, um...

And now the moment

you've all been waiting for:

Crescent Fall High's

prom queen and king!

Willow Ramey...

It's me!

...and Jonah Beckman!

Oh, my God, I had no idea.

Oh!

Oh, my God!

Are those Spanx?

Nice to see you back

on the court, Whit.

Yeah, don't be afraid to use

two hands on the backhand.

Hey, easy!

I got it! I got it.

Yes!

Serena Williams,

eat your heart out.

I swear, you could still go pro.

Hey, so what do you say

we check out the reception rooms

for your wedding?

Sound good?

Yeah.

Yes.

What do you say, kid?

Pass.

I'll be at the club caf.

All right. Come on.

That was great.

After you, sir.

Hi. Could I have a large

white chocolate mocha?

Mm-hmm.

Thanks.

4.99.

4.99?

Yeah.

Hey, I'll just leave these

over here, thanks.

Whit?

Hey!

Uh, I wanted to talk to you.

Oh. Are you...

working at the club?

Oh, yeah.

I gotta get work experience

before college, right?

Hey, congrats

on Poppy and Levi.

Are they gonna get married here?

That's the plan.

I'm helping out

with wedding services.

So you'll be...

Be here all summer.

Look, about the other night.

Um...

What is taking so long?

Oh! Hi, Whitney.

You were saying?

Oh, uh...

We were just talking about

our summer plans.

Willow's heading to Europe.

Yeah.

Large white chocolate mocha.

My dad is renting

a yacht on the Med.

I'm gonna miss you so much.

Large white chocolate mocha?

Is that your drink?

And I got two iced coffees.

Oh. Perfect.

Here. Um, I'm just gonna

talk to Whitney really quickly.

Oh, okay.

I guess I'll see you around.

Oh, it's so funny because

I never actually thought

I'd have to explain this

to you, but...

You may have won

your little scholarship

but don't overestimate

your reach.

Even if Jonah and I

had broken up,

he would never go

for a girl like you.

That would be about as realistic

as that fantasy foreplay

that you lug around

with you everywhere.

You know?

Mmm.

Mocha.

It starts Sunday.

It's six weeks.

You went to basketball camp

for three straight summers.

Hey. Whoa, whoa. The wedding.

I'll be back to help

with the bulk of the work.

Please. I busted my a*s

studying for exams.

I got good grades.

I just need to focus on...

my physical health.

Get some... fresh air.

Maybe up my tennis game.

Sounds like a great idea.

Right?

Jason!

Well, you know what I mean.

I just don't really see

there's any harm, right?

This after four years

of me trying

to get you to go

to Barre class with me.

Um...

Yeah. Okay. Sure.

Really?

Oh, yay!

- Got your bag?

- Have fun, sweetie.

Okay, bye, mom.

Bye.

Dad, can I have 20 bucks?

Well, good, uh...

Good luck, right?

Oh, sorry. Got you there.

- Welcome aboard.

- Hey, packing light, all right.

Hey, those backpacks are back.

Good to know. Okay.

Make sure you grab a shirt

and leave your cell phones

in the box.

What is this, prison?

Yeah, it's prison.

Except the guards

can't protect you, Ramey.

We're using pens and paper.

No ticky-tocky, no nothing.

No. No, no, no, no.

No, I'm out. Okay.

All right.

Hi. Did you get

lost already?

Yeah.

Hello?

Mom, I-I need you to come

pick me up.

Whitney,

what are you talking about?

I made a huge mistake.

This was your idea.

I know, but...

This place is a death trap.

I am talking, like,

Full Metal Jacket out here.

That's a little overdramatic.

No, no.

Like, it's being run by

holier-than-thou fitness freaks

taking their 'roid rage

out on teenagers.

Probably because they peaked

in high school.

Oof.

Don't let them hear

you say that.

Whitney, we don't start things

we can't finish.

What about that CrossFit class

you chickened out of?

Plus, it's non-refundable.

Mom, Mom...

I am begging you,

please don't do this to me.

Try to be open-minded.

Love you!

Mom!

And that's why on our logo,

you'll see three trees

on each side.

And now without

any further ado,

I would like to welcome to you

the Princess Diana

of the Pacific Northwest,

the Wonder Woman of wellness,

and my best friend,

without whom

none of this

would be possible.

Let's give a big Camp Laussel

welcome to Cindy Ramey.

k*ll me.

Hey, you guys.

We are so psyched

to go on this journey

of self-discovery with you.

Now, if I can ask you

to do one thing

over the next six weeks,

it's this:

Say yes.

Yes!

We are going to be

exposing you

to a wide range of activities.

Mm-hmm.

And sometimes

they might scare you.

And sometimes they might seem

downright impossible.

But I urge you to give

everything a fair shake.

There's an athlete in each

and every one of you.

And I want you to get to know

that person intimately.

We're gonna start with

a fun little icebreaker.

When I bounce the ball to you,

I want you to tell me

your name

and why you were inspired

to sign up

for Empowering Embodiment.

Yo. My name's Reese.

I, uh, injured my knee

in a volleyball accident

last year.

It was pretty brutal.

But I mainly just miss

my eight-pack.

Nathan.

Everybody in my family's big,

and if I don't find a way

to break the curse

then I'm going to end up like

my dad who ended up... Sorry.

Aspen.

Uh... I don't hate my body.

I just wanna be able to throw

a shot 17.71 meters

so I can qualify

for the Olympics in 2028.

Hi. My name is Martina and,

um, I wanna run a marathon.

I'm just screwing with you.

This place is supposed

to straighten me out.

Who said I wanna be here, Mom?

Aww, thanks, honey.

And last but not least.

Hi. I'm Whitney. Um...

What inspired me?

Yeah.

I just wanna make friends.

Friends.

That's great, Whitney.

Well, I can see that we have

a very goal-oriented group here.

I can also see that, uh,

we have our work

cut out for us.

But let's put a pin in that

for now.

And kick off our summer program

with some delicious,

mouth-watering

diagnostic tests!

Woo-hoo!

- I promise you it's not terrible.

Who are they?

Your trainers.

They're just picking out their

victims for the next six weeks.

Hmm!

Gross.

You love it.

Oh.

Did we just all decide to stop

at once and nobody told me?

Are we... Are we tired?

Are people tired? Is that why?

Think of this as

your energy center,

'cause you're gonna need it.

So eat as much as you want.

Wait, they don't do

portion control?

Whitney Carmichael.

I was so glad to see your name

on the registration list.

You know who I am?

Well, of course.

I saw you win AP Scholar

with distinction last month.

So impressive.

What the hell are you

doing here?

What am...?

You were supposed to be

on your dad's yacht.

Mind your business.

I just hope I get

a hot trainer.

The trainers are off-limits.

It says so

in the code of conduct.

You read the...?

Yeah.

Oh, I'm not trying

to date them.

Hi. Did you guys also make

a huge mistake

by convincing your parents

to let you come here?

Oh, I would never ask

my parents

to send me somewhere

like this.

I'm Whitney.

Wanna sit down?

Yeah.

Are you in school?

Uh, yeah. Just graduated.

Crescent Falls High.

Me too. Saint Augustine's.

Going into second year

at UVA.

Yeah, that's a great college.

Yeah, seemed like

the best choice.

I'm on a shot-put scholarship.

- Is that a sport?

- It's on TV.

I'm serious, I have no idea.

I don't put shots. I take shots.

Campers!

When I call your name,

pick up a map on the table

behind you.

Whitney Carmichael.

Oh, did Cindy forget

to mention?

You're gonna be running

the whole way.

Hup, h*! Hup, hup, h*!

Yep, there we go.

Yes, yes, knees up, knees up.

Hello, Whitney.

I'm Axel. Yeah.

The holier-than-thou

fitness freak

that's about to have

so much fun with you.

Did I say you could

stop running?

Let's go! Let's pick it up.

Come on.

What better way to top off

the day

than a nice, long...

Nap.

...plank.

Please say nap.

One minute, let's go.

Okay.

We got a problem, Whitney.

Do you even want to be here?

What do you want me to say?

I want you

to stop giving away your power.

Power? What are you

talking about?

You can actually start trying.

I am... trying.

You're whining.

Get back up.

Engage your core.

Hey.

Uh, you know, you were supposed

to release them 20 minutes ago.

I guess my 'roid rage

got the better of me.

Come on. Let's go.

You know, I was thinking

about you earlier.

- No, you go ahead.

- You go ahead.

Axel's definitely the hottest.

Are you kidding?

He's a sadist.

and a meathead.

Hey, that beefcake

can clamp onto my barbell

anytime he likes.

Do you even know

what you're saying?

I literally don't.

I have never been inside

a gym before.

Me neither.

Engage your core, Whitney.

Why are you blushing, Whitney?

Yeah, Whitney.

Why are you blushing?

I'm not.

He's mere flesh and blood.

I know.

Ladies, I'd hate to interrupt,

but I'd like to think

I'm more than that.

Rise and shine, rug rats!

Oh, my God! Okay. Okay.

We're up!

Yep. We got this.

Okay. Okay.

Oh, my retainer.

Oh, that's... That's gross.

You love it. Okay.

I don't know why

nobody thought

to combine dumbbells

with Zumba.

Heh, I call it Dumba, right?

Here we go, ready?

Okay, nice and small.

Up, press, feet together.

Up, press. Very nice.

And bam. Ooh...

Cha-cha-cha.

Put a little spin in it. Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh. That's okay,

you can walk that off.

Drive through the hips.

Through the hips.

Come on!

Let's go!

Push it!

You got it!

Okay.

Oh!

Oh, it hurts!

Are you okay?

I'm so sorry.

Why would you let go?!

I don't know!

Are you all right?

Then just once you get it

over the quads,

it's a quick one, two, three.

And then...

Oh!

You make sure

it's nice and tight.

Give it a try.

- Go ahead.

- Two loops for your two legs.

There you go, great work.

Does this look right?

Leg holes.

- Got it.

- All right, now...

should be easy enough

for most of you.

All you gotta do is climb up

to the top of the utility pole,

and then it's a quick

one, two, three, boop!

Jump to the trapeze.

You all came to this camp

to change something.

But to expand

your understanding,

you need to go outside

of your comfort zone.

Change is born from discomfort.

That's when we get to see

what we're really made of.

So be curious.

Let's see how far

you can push yourselves.

Whitney.

You're up first.

Did I stutter, Carmichael?

Yeah, Whitney. Let's go!

Arms out.

Thank you. Other arm.

You can do it, Whit.

Let's go, Whitney!

Nice and easy.

Keep your focus.

- Don't look down, Whitney.

- Keep going.

All right, Whit!

Badass!

So close!

You've been holding out on me.

That was incredible.

Yeah!

Yes!

Uh-huh. Okay. Who's next?

You need a hand?

Oh, um...

No, no. I was just looking

for a scale.

Yeah. We don't keep scales

on camp property.

Oh, oh, like, none at all?

I was a little skeptical

when you said

you came here

to make friends.

I didn't come here

for a single reason.

Come here.

Here's the thing.

Most people come here

to shed pounds,

and I can't stop them

from using the camp

as a means to an end.

I-I'm sorry.

Maybe it's not my place, but...

you're a supermodel.

Oh, you're sweet.

Model.

Right.

Isn't that kind of easy

for you to say?

We've all been wired

to see healthy

through a very narrow lens.

Myself included.

And it can take years

to undo that kind of damage,

but I'm hoping that I can

inspire a small shift

where maybe we focus less

on the numbers

and more on how we feel.

Think about it.

You guys thought that

the ropes course was hard.

Well, get ready.

This 12-foot wall is physically

and mentally more challenging.

You have got to get each

and every camper

over to the other side.

If you can do it in under...

five minutes,

you can have the afternoon off.

Starting...

...now!

Ooh! Let's go!

Yeah, so it's actually

not brain surgery.

What we're gonna do

is the big people

are gonna lift the small people

to the top,

and then they're gonna lift

themselves over.

Well, when you say it like that,

it makes you wonder why

we even need... small people.

You do it your way

and we'll do it our way.

Let's go! Come on!

I gotcha.

Go, go, go!

Your girl's got spunk.

You guys need to share

the wall.

Wah-wah-wah!

Enjoy your lunch,

'cause after...

I don't know,

what should we do?

Burpees? Suicide drills?

Alrighty,

let's go to the dining hall.

What's wrong?

Nothing. I'm fine.

Let me see.

Yep, that's a doozy.

You need first aid.

Follow me.

After you.

This is your room.

Take a seat.

It's a dystopian

fantasy series.

It's way more highbrow

than it looks.

Yeah.

Don't look at me like that.

What-- What was that? What?

What do you read, Tolstoy?

No, I'm reading that.

You're reading Blackwood?

I just got to

the tortured lance.

No, no, no.

Okay, don't you dare.

I'm savoring it.

Okay, so if you're

a Blackwood fan,

who's your favorite character?

Irabelle, of course.

Really?

What?

A guy can't see himself

in a strapping female warrior?

No! I mean...

Okay, what do you like

about her?

I like

that she's lost everything...

but she doesn't let

that drag her down.

May I?

Yeah, she's so sure

of herself and...

I've never really been

athletic, but, um...

when I read Blackwood,

it's like I get to be her.

Even for a little while.

Got it.

It's funny.

Obviously I don't know you

that well,

but what you did the other day,

that was brave of you.

Irabelle of you, even.

Well, I've always thought

of Irabelle

as more of a lone wolf.

Well, since I'm ahead of you,

I can tell you that

that's starting to change.

Uh, Axel.

Hey.

Uh, I should go.

Yeah.

Can I go? Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Okay. Bye, Whitney.

Thanks.

Oh.

I don't need

to remind you about

the "no trainer on camper" rule,

right?

No, I know. She's a sweet kid.

Okay.

Whitney, look.

I can't lift my fork.

Okay, here.

Can you make

the choo-choo noises?

Train?

Seriously?

Choo-choo!

Choo... choo...

choo... choo.

Thank you.

- As you were.

- Why would we ever listen

to the one person

who fails gym class?

If we had just done it my way,

we'd be on the beach right now.

You know, but maybe

it's time that she realizes

that she's not always perfect.

I didn't fail gym class.

Maybe you should've.

Oh, it's on.

Food fight!

Not the plate!

Hey! Hey!

Stop throwing food!

Enough! Enough!

I'm sorry. Do you have any idea

how wasteful this is?

Every one of you

is going to clean up

every inch of this place.

Is it just me or is Axel, like,

way hotter when he's just,

like, raging?

Um...

Ooh!

Ow. Girl...

how long have you been

sitting on this?

He's not even

really my type.

You mean,

perfectly chiseled abs...

dimpled face...

those arms!

No. I mean, like, gym rats.

You know, meatheads, jocks.

Don't be such a labelist,

Whitney.

People can be many things.

You're right.

So when are you gonna make

your move?

No.

Why?

Not happening.

Why not?

I think him and Renata

have something

going on anyways.

No. I overheard my trainer

say they broke up.

Wait, what?

Yeah. She cheated on him.

Oh.

You can fix his broken heart.

You can mend him.

Stop.

Lick Nutella off his abs.

Go to sleep!

Hee-hee!

Oh. What's up?

My leg is just--

It's just cramping.

No, no, stop running.

Guys, keep going.

It's okay. It'll wear off.

Sit down.

Come on.

Whitney...

What?

Just relax, okay?

There we go.

Oh, just breathe through it.

There you go.

Are you still mad?

About the food fight.

No.

You wanna talk about it?

I-I really don't mind.

How's that?

I'm a good listener.

No, silly, your calf.

It's much better. Thanks.

All right.

So, Willow?

Something going on there?

Um, yeah.

We went to school together.

What, did she cheat off

your math test or something?

No.

We were not friends.

Well, high school's over.

Everybody close your eyes.

Focus on the sounds.

What do you hear

when you can't see?

The whisper of

the frangula purshiana

on a summer breeze.

A distant waterfall.

To yourself.

Everybody inhale,

deep breath in.

Exhale.

Feel the ground beneath you.

Oh, my God! Oh!

It's okay, it's okay.

Hey, little guy.

- Come on.

- Hey, Bob?

I'm getting him. Here we go.

Quicker.

I know. Nature can't be rushed.

Where are we going?

We're here.

You did all this?

I want you to feel

like Irabelle.

How do I...?

Oh.

Three fingers here.

Replace my hand. Good.

Good.

Imagine you're squeezing

your shoulder blades together

as you draw it back.

Hold it there.

There you go.

Breathe.

And release.

All right. Okay.

I guess I'm just a natural.

Oh, come on.

I wouldn't be

too hard on yourself.

A little more practice,

you'll get the hang of it.

"A little more practice..."

Oh, my God!

Axel, I was just being polite.

Okay? Archery's clearly

not your strong suit.

Okay, now you're

gonna get wet.

No, no, no!

Come on, let's go.

Let's go.

No, no, no.

All right, okay.

As you were saying?

Well, we can...

We can try a few more times.

You'll get the hang of it.

Yeah, I like that.

Looks good.

What's going on?

We're going out.

Martina found the perfect place.

Mm-hmm.

I overheard my trainer

talking about this dive bar.

If we can sneak out.

- Uh...

- Come on, Whitney!

We gotta bust out of here

and fly our freak flags.

Yeah, I just... wish I could.

I just don't have

anything to wear.

That's why you have girlfriends.

And a Nathan.

And a Nathan.

Nathan.

Hmm? Mm-mm-mm.

I'm gonna take that as a yes.

Eee! Let's go!

Be back in five minutes.

Yippee!

Ow!

So they have, like,

real alcohol at this bar, right?

'Cause I was just with

my parents one night

and I thought

I was getting drunk.

Turns out it was

just a bunch of Shirley Temples.

I definitely had

a sugar high though,

so don't look at me like that.

It felt real.

I'm not judging.

Is this your nightie?

Yes. But...

if you belt it,

it's a super cute dress.

It's cute.

Yeah. Okay.

I'll leave you be. Let me know

when you're ready for makeup.

Bye!

All hips to the left,

forward, right, back.

It's serving.

So good.

It's this constant attitude

I can't get past.

See, if you would just give

the program a chance.

You'd just love that,

wouldn't you?

If you could just fix

all my problems.

Then you could tell

the whole world

and you wouldn't just be

some dumb model.

I'm sorry.

Retired dumb model.

We are not done talking.

Not even close.

What the hell are you doing?

Nothing.

We were hoping to sneak out.

Aspen!

I can't lie.

Let me guess.

The dive bar.

You know it?

It's the only bar

within five miles.

But good luck getting in there.

This place is on a lockdown.

What is the point in even

having a fake ID?

Well, maybe we could come

to some kind of agreement.

I thought you said--

I said that it was on lockdown,

not that it was impossible.

I'm listening.

Well, you just need

a really good tour guide.

No, no. No, we're not

going out with her.

Hey, Mom! Mom--

Oh...

We wouldn't wanna ruin

your perfect reputation.

Let's weigh our options here.

Five kamikazes, please.

Okay. That has got

to be offensive.

Elspeth Fellows?

It says you're 32!

Shh! Chill.

That's yours. There you go.

Martina, do you wanna

dance with me

in this pub... bar...

establishment?

Yeah.

How's Jonah?

Two more.

Put it on Elspeth's tab and

don't make it the cheap stuff.

Hard to say when you don't

have cell phone access.

So, what's with

this forest bathing

that your mom's into?

It's Japanese.

And its benefits are actually

pretty well-documented.

Well, if I didn't know

any better,

I'd say you buy into this stuff

more than you let on.

You know, my mom

used to be obsessed

with you coming over

when we were freshmen.

I didn't know that.

Thought you'd be

a good influence.

Yep.

Oh!

Good thing she can't see me now.

Uh-huh.

Hey.

Hey.

I like what you're doing

out there.

Thanks.

Three beers,

one gin and tonic, please.

Code red.

You know we did the same thing

when we were campers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're trainers now.

Don't be such a hypocrite.

Besides, we can just make 'em

pay off for it tomorrow.

True.

Come on, let's go.

Attention, patrons!

It is that time of the night.

Your chance to take a spin

on our faithful mascot...

the buckin' bronco himself...

Oscar Tornado!

Any other takers?

Me!

This girl!

Yeah! Get on up there,

little lady.

Axel!

What?

What?

Where are you going?

I'm leaving.

Looks like she is going

for the all-time record!

Whitney! Whoo!

Oh! Unh!

Whitney! Are you okay?

You have pretty eyes.

Quiet down.

I never wanted to come here.

They forced me to show

them where it was.

Like they forced you to drink

peppermint schnapps

that I smell on your breath?

It's tequila.

You okay?

Yeah.

No. I don't know.

It's just... It's just Aspen.

We danced together and

we kind of... had a moment.

You-- You and...

I thought you were thirsting

over Axel this whole time.

Yeah, it's called bisexuality,

Whitney.

Oh, yeah,

I know what bisexuality is.

Thank you very much, okay?

You're welcome.

Um, no I'm...

I'm just surprised.

Like, what... What happened?

Well, she made the move,

and then as soon as

the kamikazes wore off, she...

She said she doesn't

want anything serious.

No distractions.

Not with Los Angeles 2028

coming up.

Well, do you want

anything serious?

Then tell her.

Martina and Aspen.

Oh, shh!

Mr. Tornado, please,

I'd like to see you again.

Mr. Torn...

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Is Mr. Tornado

coming over later?

Good night, sir.

Wait. I got it.

I got it. Yeah.

Whitney. Can you hang back?

Bye-bye.

Hey.

Hey.

I'm gonna let you get to bed

in a sec. I just, uh...

Ugh! Brad.

He wanted me

to give this to you.

I don't need to explain

myself to you.

Oh, no, you're right.

You're right.

You're my trainee,

and, uh, I feel a certain level

of responsibility for you.

And you could do

so much better than Brad!

Axel Chandler, are you jealous?

I'm not allowed to be jealous.

I don't wanna take away any

credit from, uh, Oscar Tornado,

but that was, um...

impressive bull riding.

Well, I really should be

thanking you.

You know, all the squats

you've been having me do.

Ha-ha, squats.

I'm not gonna go easy

on you tomorrow

just because you got hammered.

Oh, okay, okay.

That's how it is?

Yeah, that's how it is.

Yeah?

Mm-hmm.

Okay. Well then go easy on me

because... you like me.

Whitney...

Ugh, I will slit their throats.

Time to run!

Yeah, all right, yeah.

Wake up, everybody!

Wake up, everybody!

Why do I smell tequila?

Nice! Nice! Nice!

That's my team!

That's my team!

Come on, let's bring it back!

Here, my little hungover friend.

It might be a little soggy.

What?

It's not a trap.

Okay. Watch.

I'll check it for poison.

Mmm.

I'm still here.

Pretty good.

You know, fitness freaks,

we like fast food

as much as the next person.

I know you want one.

Mm, okay.

There we go.

Mmm.

It's good.

It's good.

So, minus the hangover...

how are you feeling

about all this?

Well...

it's been challenging.

Mm-hmm.

You know, just when I think

it's getting easier,

you make it harder.

But I don't...

I don't hate it anymore.

I just wonder...

What?

No, it's stupid.

Hey. Try me.

What if it's not me?

What if it's... Irabelle?

Okay, forget it.

Forget it, forget it.

No. No. Hold on.

Explain.

When things get hard...

I imagine myself as her.

You know, 'cause she's good

at that stuff.

And I'm starting to think

it's making me good at it.

But I can't do it

if I'm not her.

Ah, okay.

Okay.

So... the next time

that you wanna be Irabelle,

just... don't.

Problem solved.

No. Yeah.

Sorry, let me explain. Uh...

Just close your eyes.

Picture yourself.

The same shirt, same pants.

But just as Whitney.

You make it sound easy.

Yeah. It can be.

But only if you're willing

to get out of your own way.

Ah. One more thing.

Didn't forget burgers. Boom.

Yes!

Perfect hangover cure,

some might say.

Mmm...

Your strong lungs

that pull fresh air

into your blood.

The beating heart

that pumps oxygen

towards your muscles.

Choose to be grateful.

Namaste.

Namaste.

Namaste.

- Hey, Whitney.

- Can I talk to you for a sec?

Yeah.

I wanted to ask you

what you were doing next summer.

Oh. Um, well, I have a wedding

and two semesters of college

to get through first.

I don't even have the bandwidth

to think about it.

Well, I have some trainers

that are leaving,

and they're gonna

need replacing.

Oh. Do you need

recommendations?

I mean you, Whitney.

You'd have to complete

the personal training course,

but people do it

in three to six months.

And knowing you,

I think you could balance it

with your course load.

But take your time,

think about it.

Yeah.

Sweetheart.

I didn't realize that...

It's okay, Mom.

I'm sorry.

You're my mom.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

You're not gonna believe

what happens next.

I am so close

to cutting holes

in your pretty little

muscle shirts.

Well, they're not

that pretty.

Not as pretty as my eyes,

at least.

Oh, you're feeling

c*ck now, huh?

You can't talk

to trainers like that.

Why, because

you're such sensitive souls?

No, because we can

cancel beach day

at the drop of a hat.

Whoa. Cancel beach day?

Nah, I think we can make them

suffer a little more.

Capture the flag?

Trainers versus prisoners?

Oh, sorry... campers.

Good luck.

Guys.

So I have this really fun idea.

You're going down!

Let's go, squad! Let's go!

Are you okay?

Mm-hmm.

You sure?

Yeah. Fine.

Yeah, of course.

You're good.

Didn't hurt at all.

Right.

See, I get competitive

sometimes.

I noticed. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Well, you won,

so it worked.

Nice.

Martina, you're like a tornado.

You called me a distraction.

I know. Sometimes it takes

my brain a while

to catch up with my mouth.

I have dreams too, you know.

And-- And just because they

don't involve a gold medal--

I am so sorry.

You guys do your thing.

It's... okay. Um...

Good talk.

We'll...

We'll talk more later.

Yep.

Yep.

Uh, I think I'm gonna need you

to spill the tea.

I think we're gonna see

where things go.

Oh, my God!

I'm so happy for you.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I know, Martina.

No, no. Oh, my God.

What?

Look.

What?

Oh!

It's the fact that

you hurt my feelings.

You did cheat on me,

that did happen.

Hey, things are looking good

for team Whitney.

You haven't let me try.

I have, I have.

The way you guys were looking

at each other earlier,

you probably would've ripped

each other's clothes off

if we hadn't been there.

I can't do this.

f*ck it.

Hey! Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah. I'm fine.

You're just out here

for a swim?

Uh-huh.

No, no. Axel, Axel.

Just thought

I'd become one with nature.

No, no, please!

Wait, are you...?

Yeah.

Okay, one sec.

What are you...? Okay!

Now we both are.

That is not helping.

It sounded better

in my head, yeah.

You know, I've never seen you

out here before.

I know.

Oh sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

What?

No. Oh, my God.

What? What?

f*ck.

What?

My chain, I think it must

have fallen off.

It's probably here somewhere.

f*ck.

Oh, it's like a needle

in a f*cking haystack.

What is she...?

f*ck, f*ck, f*ck!

f*ck.

Oh! Thank you.

I got it. I got it.

Oh!

Thank you.

So, what's the deal

with the necklace?

It was my dad's.

He died a few years ago.

It's actually how I got

into all this.

Things got pretty bad

for me at home,

and I got into this fight

with my mom.

And I was such a little as*h*le,

and I just walked out.

Just walked out.

And that walk

turned into a run.

And I just kept running.

Something about that,

I don't know.

Just felt like it was the only

thing that I could do.

So then I started going

to the gym.

Lifting weights.

I remember thinking

how cool that was.

How the muscles break down

and build back up stronger.

This after two years

of watching my dad

go through the opposite.

I just think I liked the feeling

that I had control

over something.

I've never told anyone that.

But with you...

I don't know.

Do you remember that day

we first met?

Oh, God.

I'm... I'm embarrassed

even thinking about it.

I didn't mean what I said,

I just was...

scared shitless.

That's it.

Fear has got a way of bringing

out the worst in people.

But...

for some people...

they can turn it on its head,

channel it

into something good...

for everybody.

And that's what I really

admire about you.

It's what makes you

a great leader.

I don't...

I don't think I'm...

I don't think

I'm a good leader.

Hey. Don't do that.

Take the compliment.

I'm taking it.

Good.

'Cause I'd hate to see you

abuse that superpower.

I...

I just got out of

a long-term relationship.

And...

Okay, so that's the line

we're going with here?

It's not a line.

I promise.

It's not a line.

Look, what's going on with me

has nothing to do with you.

All this work that

you've been doing here.

I mean, I would hate to see

you lose that over some...

Over what? Over what?!

Over what?!

You like me enough to kiss me

when we're alone...

to tell me things

you've never told anyone,

to swim naked with me.

But you don't like me enough

to actually wanna be with me?

That's not true.

Really?

No.

Really?

'Cause I've been here

before, Axel.

I know this! I know I'm not

the girl who gets the guy!

Whether it's because

I'm not pretty enough

or the right size or popular.

I'm the girl that you use

to make the other one jealous.

What are you talking about?!

Renata!

You'd clearly rather be with

someone who cheats on you!

Who cares about Renata?

Who cares about Renata?!

I know you think

you're above all this sh*t

because your dad died,

so you think

that makes you more sensitive

or something, but you're not.

You are just as shallow

as everybody else!

Right. Right, right.

Don't ever touch me again!

Hey, where were you?

Hey...

where'd you go?

What happened?

Please don't.

I don't wanna talk about it,

please just leave me alone.

Okay.

Did she say anything?

Maybe she's not feeling well?

Hey, what are you doing?

What do you care?

Did something happen

between you and Axel?

No. Nothing happened

and nothing will ever happen.

You're not supposed

to have that.

Give me my phone.

You're not supposed to have it.

Give me my phone.

Give me my phone, Willow.

Stop!

Don't you get it?

You won, okay?

What are you talking about?

I thought I could change.

I thought coming here,

I was changing, but...

if everything else stays

the same, then what's the point?

Whitney, I should've never said

those things to you.

Why? It's the truth.

It's not true.

That was...

Well, it was about me,

not you.

And I am so sorry.

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

No matter where I go, I will

always find someone like you

to put me in my place.

Then don't let her.

You don't let a b*tch like me

decide who you are.

Why are you being

so nice to me?

Because I think

that you deserve better.

And I think that you deserve

somebody as amazing as you are.

What if he doesn't

love me back?

Then they don't deserve you.

You don't settle for

the Jonahs of the world.

That's my job.

I think I like you

better than Jonah.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Well, then it's a good thing

that we broke up.

I'm sorry.

I'm not.

I can still remember

my first three-mile race.

The ocean views,

the wildflower fields.

It was beautiful...

until nightfall.

When the grizzlies

descended upon us.

Looking at all of you,

I could not be more proud.

I mean, do yourselves a favor

and think about the people

that you were when you first

got here six weeks ago.

So maybe you didn't accomplish

the goals you set out with.

But each and every

one of you are athletes.

And not because you run

a good mile time,

but because you're here...

at the starting line.

So let's do this.

Let's have some fun!

Come on! Let's do it.

Hey. Can I have a word?

I know we're not

on the best of terms...

but I wanna wish you luck.

All this training,

everything we've been

doing together...

it has to be for you.

Not to impress some guy.

And for the record...

I would never use you

to make someone else jealous.

All right, trainers, clear out.

Runners, take your positions,

please.

On your mark...

get set...

Okay, Whitney!

Whitney, Whitney!

Very nicely done.

Keep moving,

keep those legs moving.

Avoid the cramps.

Yes, yes, yes! Good job!

Thank you.

For having my back.

I didn't know how much

I needed it

until I met you.

Hey.

Group hug! Come here.

You sluts better

stay in touch.

He went into town.

But I could...

I can give him

a message for you.

Can you just...

tell him...

Whitney, what are you doing?

Are you ready to go?

Come on, I wanna beat traffic.

Let's roll.

Okay, bye.

Okay, bye.

Hey.

Hi, sweetie.

Hey.

Whitney, you look amazing.

You're glowing!

Look at you! And strong.

And did you get taller?

Pop, does she look taller?

Yeah. You look great.

Thanks.

Poppy, what's wrong?

The club called this morning.

They are extending

the renovations

and canceled the reception.

There has to be

somewhere else we can do it.

No, we called Bridgehouse,

Cedar Creek, Morgan Hill.

All of them, they're booked.

Why don't we just...

have it in the backyard?

I do like the idea

of it being outside.

Just think, like, with some...

Some flowers and lights.

We can make it look magical.

Come on, Mom.

Mm-hmm.

Well, if I hear

plastic tableware...

...I'm out.

911. I-- I think we have a fire

in the Carmichael house

because it is hot in here!

Do we have to go out there?

Poppy...

Poppy...

you are

the sweetest, smartest,

most talented,

beautiful person I know.

And you get to marry

your soulmate.

How many people get

to say that?

Don't ruin your face!

Whitney!

Don't ruin your face!

Hey.

I know why you had

to get away this summer.

I get it.

But I'm so happy

you're here with me right now.

There's no place

I would rather be.

Everything okay here?

Mm-hmm.

Let's get this woman married.

Agreed.

Oh, yeah.

I know. We did good.

Cheers, b*tches.

Cheers, b*tch!

Cheers.

Hi, everybody.

Thanks for coming.

I have always looked up

to my older sister.

She seemed to excel

at everything.

Sports, school...

boys.

But I realized recently

I wasn't giving her

enough credit.

None of it was easy.

To go after what you want...

knowing you might fail...

I know just how scary

that can be.

And I feel like I've been scared

my whole life.

Someone once told me...

Someone once told me...

that fear can bring out

the worst in people.

But there are some...

who, if brave enough...

can channel it into

something good.

People like Poppy.

- Cheers.

- Cheers!

Sorry I'm late.

What are you doing here?

Willow asked me to come.

Not as a date. Uh...

I was worried you never

wanted to see me again.

That's not even possible.

I actually wanted to thank you.

And I wanted to apologize.

Those things I said about

your dad, that was not okay.

Whitney, it's okay.

And I hope you and Renata

are happy together. I--

Renata and I aren't together.

Are you sure?

I can't stop thinking about you.

How clever you are.

How kind.

How sexy you were

that night at the bar

and then again in the water.

All of it

makes me want you more.

Okay. But, Axel, when you said

you just got out

of a long-term relationship...

I wasn't making excuses.

I'm just sorry it took me

so long to say this.

Whitney Carmichael...

you make me feel seen.

And all I wanna do is spend

my time seeing you.

You don't know this yet,

but I'm kind of a great dancer.

Sure. Sure.

Are you thinking, like,

Patrick Swayze

and you're really like

Napoleon Dynamite?

Hey, Napoleon Dynamite's

a good dancer.

Follow me.