04x02 - The Dispersion

[bunniefuu]

Look!

Isn't it spectacular here?

Take a look over here.

The sun comes in everywhere.

You don't need to worry
about the rent, I'll take care of it.

They just offered me a good job.

It'll solve our financial problems.

- When were you going to tell me?
- I wanted to tell you here.

Do you like it or not?

I think it's perfect!

What's with you today?

I want to see Eleonora tomorrow.

- Why?
- I need to talk to her.

I want to know what she knows about us,

when you left home, how long it's
been since you've slept together.

Do her father and mother know your marriage is over?

Ask me, if something's
not clear I'll explain it to you.

No, I only trust her.

You're a liar.

What's all this fuss?

Stop it, you piece of sh*t!

Who do you think you're dealing with?

I'm not letting an as*h*le like you f*ck with me!

What are you doing?

Calm down!

Calm down, please.

Let's sit down.

Let's calm down.

Let's sit down.

I'll explain everything. Let's sit down.

Please.

Before leaving for France,

I told Eleonora everything,

but when I returned things got complicated.

She began to act crazy, to do things...

Once she went to stab herself in the stomach,

then she wanted to jump off the balcony, I got scared.

And in the end, yes, I told her you and I were over.

But she realized

all my absences, my excuses, were to see you,

so she began to pretend nothing was happening,

that I really go to conferences

and that I don't see you anymore.

Now we live in this sort of fiction.

Things are going well, so much so that I'm here.

I can be with you, sleep with you, go away with you.

She knows perfectly well,

but she acts as if she doesn't.

Elena...

I don't want you to excuse me, I
only want you to understand me.

You lied to me, to her.

You didn't do it for the love of either of us.

No, that's not true.

Yes, it is. You only did it for yourself.

You're a coward without the
courage of your convictions.

Elena, maybe I was wrong, but I apologize.

I did it to avoid a tragedy.

I can do whatever I want.

We can even get an apartment together.

It's over between us.

- Why are you being like this?
- Never call me again, understood?

- Understood.
- You need to leave me alone.

- How can I?
- Nino, for f*ck's sake, stop it!

- Stop it!
- Tell me what I can do.

You don't understand sh*t, now f*ck off!

I'll get it.

Hello?

It's Lila. I'm looking for Elena.

Yes.

I'll get her right away.

Your friend's on the phone.

Hello?

Lenù, how are things?

- How do you think?
- Are you still in Turin?

Yeah, where else would I be?

How are you?

Fine, don't sweat it.

Come on, talk to me.

I'm busy, take care.

What are you doing?

Trying to prevent you from
saying vulgar things in your dialect,

it's not a pretty sight.

Look who's talking.

- What does that mean?
- You know.

I don't know at all.

Pietro told me you've had lovers.

- Me?
- Yes, you.

Don't act so surprised.

I accepted my responsibilities in front of everyone,

even Dede and Elsa, and I'm suffering
the consequences of my actions.

But you, you give yourself so many airs,

you're only a little bourgeois hypocrite
who sweeps her dirt under the rug.

You're a bad person.

You don't know what it means to truly love someone

and give them up.

You seem docile, shy,

but you're concealing a craving to grab everything

and neither study nor books can change that.

Tania!

Excuse me, ma'am.

I'm only sorry

the girls won't grow up here,

they might have tried not to be like you.

Tania, please,

help Elena and the girls pack their bags.

I'll do it myself.

The train from Florence is arriving on platform 13.

Where will we sleep tonight?

When are we going back to our grandparents'?

- I'm hungry.
- Calm down.

- We're going to Naples.
- Why?

- Because we are.
- To Nino's?

The train for Naples is leaving from platform 6.

Come on.

Hurry up.

I thought of showing up
unannounced at Nino and Eleonora's

to tell him that if my daughters
and I were in this situation,

it was also his fault and he had to pay.

I wanted my turmoil to overwhelm him

as it was overwhelming me.

The train for Milan is leaving from platform 19.

- Come.
- Where are we going?

Quick.

Wait.

Get on.

Hurry up.

Help me.

Elsa, go in.

- Will you put mine up?
- Do it yourself.

I'm hungry.

One thing at a time.

Can we have Grandma's sandwiches?

The train for Milan is departing.

Those not traveling are asked to leave.

Why did you decide to go to Milan now?

I want the salami sandwich.

- Grandma gave it to me.
- That's not true.

- Shut up and eat!
- I want yours!

Stop it!

It's mine!

I said stop it!

Only on the train did I realize the reason

for that abrupt change of plan.

In spite of everything, love
writhed ferociously inside me

and the very thought of hurting
Nino was repugnant to me.

Even though by then I wrote and
thought only about women's autonomy,

I didn't know how I'd do without
his body, his voice, his intelligence.

It was terrible to admit,

but I still wanted him,

I loved him more than my own daughters.

I'll show them the house.

Hi.

And through here...

The kitchen's on the right.

There's a room here where you can eat.

And here...

these are three English friends of mine.

But they're leaving tomorrow.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Friends of mine.

And our room?

In there.

- Franco?
- Yes.

Look who's here.

Hi, Elena.

- How are you?
- So-so.

Mamma, come and see!

You're... Elsa.

And you, the elder one, are Dede.

Hi.

How pretty you are!

- I'm glad to see you.
- Me too.

There's a gigantic chair!

I'm sleeping here.

No, I'm sleeping there,

because I want to sleep near Mamma.

- Get your luggage.
- We have to make the bed.

We'll do it later.

You can stay as long as you like,
you know how things work here.

You know how much I love you.

But you shouldn't have treated my mother that way.

- She behaved very badly.
- Now.

But in the past she helped you.

She only did it so her son wouldn't look bad.

- You're being unfair...
- No, I'm being clear.

I'll be clear too: my mother is my mother,

say what you like about my father
and my brother, but leave her alone.

Here, there are sheets

and towels.

You'll always find blankets in there,

and the bathroom's there.

And with this, I'm done treating you as a guest.

This house is yours and everyone's, do as you please.

- I'll start putting the sheets on.
- Wash your hands.

The bathroom's there.

Hello?

Nino.

Elena.

- Where are you?
- In Milan, at Mariarosa's.

In Milan? Why didn't you come to Naples?

What for?

Cut it out, will you?

How can I live without you?

I've been waiting for you for a month.

The way you have so far.

Please, stop it. Why are you talking like this?

Things will sort themselves out.

I stopped sleeping with Pietro.

But you kept sleeping with Eleonora.

Stop fixating on that.

I've already explained...

If you don't come back, what
will I do? I can't go on like this.

Have you decided?

About what?

You're asking me about what?

- Hello?
- Elena.

You gotta let me explain.

I don't want any more.

Just eat!

What do you mean, why did I rent it?

- Go to your room.
- Lenù, can you hear me?

Yes, I'm here.

I want you to bring the girls to live in Via Petrarca.

You can't live there forever.

Remember how nice the apartment is?

I went back there yesterday, it's full of light.

What about you?

I'll come with you.

Yeah, and then?

- Then, what?
- Eleonora?

Lemme do it my way.

I'll slowly fix everything.

I swear on our love.

You hear me?

You hear me?

I gotta go, I got things to do.

I'm hiding here.

Don't tell anyone.

Hide, then. Underneath.

- There's no one here.
- But I heard her come in.

You're wrong.

- I'm gonna get you!
- No, you always lose.

No, I let you win. You're too slow.

A woman abandons her body to her children,

she is devoured by them and
this is what we must rebel against.

No woman can define herself as free

if she does not have control over her own body.

That's the issue we must tackle.

We say this applying it to everything,

but we never apply it to motherhood.

And since I am lucky enough to
have Elena Greco as my guest,

I'd like her to say a few words.

Go on, Elena.

I could start with Elsa Morante,

who says no one thinks a mother has a woman's body.

For sons and daughters
mothers have amorphous bodies.

We thought that too

and maybe we still think it about our mothers.

We should be ashamed.

Then there are my daughters, here they are.

Maybe they also think like that,

see me like that.

As old rather than saintly.

Shall I go?

Yes.

Go on.

It's the police.

Good evening, can I help you?

A neighbor has complained.

About what?

They say there's people making a racket.

I have some friends here,
we're discussing motherhood.

I don't know if that can be defined as a racket.

It's not late, seeing as the children are still up.

- But I'd like you to come in.
- There's no need, ma'am.

Or miss.

You can't decide if I'm engaged, married, or a virgin?

Mariarosa will do.

- Come in.
- There's no need.

But I'd like you to, please, come in.

This way.

Please.

Mariarosa, have you been arrested?

Please, find a seat.

I can guarantee my aunt's a professor.

I assure you her name's Mariarosa Airota

and she teaches Art History.

I see.

Maybe we could ask our friends to tell us

about their mothers, how they've
perceived them since they were little.

Unfortunately, we have to go, we're on duty.

- But we've verified...
- You've verified?

Thank you for your kindness.

Let's go.

Good. So?

So the common people's arms

must work to fill the patricians'
stomachs or there's trouble.

But?

But?

But Menenius Agrippa tricks them.

Listen.

If Elsa eats, does your hunger go away?

No and neither does the common people's,

because their work ends up
in the patricians' stomachs.

Sorry, I was held up at the publishers'.

- And Mariarosa?
- She'll be home later, with a surprise.

- What surprise?
- What?

Later.

I'm shattered.

Are you studying?

I'm reviewing the "Apologue," garbage.

- Why do you say that?
- He says it.

It's like, I eat but it's you who gets fat.

- What?
- It's true.

Are we done?

- Up to you.
- Yes.

It's been an exhausting day.

They could have been ours.

They'd be a bit older now.

Girls, your father's here.

- The surprise has arrived.
- What?

Papa!

Here they are!

Let me take a look at you.

You've grown so much!

Hi, Elena.

Come.

- Do you like it here?
- Heaps.

- We go to bed when we want.
- What?

We have fun at night, there are always people here.

Not always, let's not exaggerate.

- How can you get up early?
- When we get up we study.

- So it's true you don't go to school.
- They study here.

Policemen came too.

- The police were here?
- Yes, right here.

And Doriana?

Doriana?

- How do they study here?
- We help them.

It's temporary, if they stay...

It's temporary?

And what's the criterion for "temporary"?

Is this how you and my sister live?

I live how the f*ck I want.

As for them, they seem neither unhappy nor ignorant,

and one of us always helps them.

- One of you?
- Whoever's here.

Whoever's here.

You're both so irresponsible!

You took them away from a
home where there was discipline

and turned them into hobos!

Do you want to take them away?

You and Doriana will raise
them? You think I'm not capable?

What do you think?

They can't live in a "temporary" situation,

study with whoever's there,
not go to school like other kids!

Calm down.

Excuse me for butting in, but I also help them study.

Sure, they study with whoever's
there and when they're lucky it's you.

The girls are clever, they study as much as necessary,

their level of learning is very high.

They need a regular life.

I don't have to tell you what your daughters need.

In fact, I'll tell you. All of you.

They need method, a criterion.

This house is full of people

who play music, who discuss things...

I don't like it either, I'm always shut away in my room.

But that's also a criterion,

definitely temporary.

Neither Elena nor the girls will stay here for long.

But when they're grown up,

among their best memories will be the days spent here

at Mariarosa's.

That's probably right

and I can't be sorry about it,

but the question we have to ask is:

will they be able to go back to a regular life?

If adults struggle to do it, imagine them.

At your parents' they had a family,

but they have one here too.

And it's more fun for them.

You didn't answer my question.

They'll be forced, they'll fight
back, but then they'll give in.

Forgive me.

But I'm worried about you, I
only want what's best for you.

Your mother and I agree on this.

Yes, it's true.

Pietro was right.

What was right for my daughters

was not what I'd convinced myself it was.

They needed to be with others,

to have schedules, homework, classmates.

Can I come home with you?

Don't act up.

Will you take me inside?

It's been more than two weeks now,

the teacher said you need to be more independent.

Go, I'll watch you.

I'm watching, go.

I spent those days despising myself,

I couldn't get Nino out of my head.

I hadn't seen him for nearly three months

and I admitted to myself I missed him a lot.

I thought of him all the time.

Even the city streets made me imagine

what it would be like if I walked them with him,

if we came back from the school
together after dropping off the girls.

What are you doing here?

I left Naples last night.

Let's take a moment, I'm losing my mind.

- What if...?
- Let go of me!

I said, let go of me!

If I leave all hell will break loose!

I know.

And what would the result be?

That I could never live peacefully with you.

You have to listen to me.

I know Eleonora,

I know what could happen.

What are you saying?

I can't leave Eleonora,

but I can't live without you.

I see,

you're suggesting as a reasonable solution

that I give up the role of
mistress to be a parallel wife!

- I didn't say that!
- Yes!

- It is like that!
- No.

Go away!

Go back to where you came from!

I came to tell you something I
don't want you to hear from others.

Let's hear it.

You want to know why I behaved like that?

Eleonora is seven months pregnant.

That's why it's so hard to leave her now.

Franco.

Throw him out.

Please, throw him out.

Wait in there.

Come.

Throw him out!

Here.

Elena.

Sit down.

Come on. Sit down.

Please, throw him out.

Franco, throw him out.

His wife's seven months pregnant,
he lied to me the whole time.

All right.

He didn't run away,

he came all this way to tell you.

He traveled all night.

- It must mean something.
- It means that he's a liar.

That he's superficial, incapable of choosing.

I know.

I know, you're right.

What if that's the only way he can love you?

f*ck you, too.

I have to get used to living without you.

Right now it's hard.

But I can't live without you.

You're incapable of separating
yourself from anything or anyone.

No, that's not true.

To keep you I gotta hold onto everything.

Go away.

What will you do now?

Why didn't Auntie have dinner with us?

Mariarosa's in Bordeaux, she'll be back in a few days.

Where's Bordeaux?

In France.

- But Franco's here?
- Yes.

If he doesn't come out of his
room it means he's not hungry.

Are you done?

Go get into your pajamas.

We're already in our pajamas.

Silly Mamma.

What job does Franco do?

He writes, he studies.

We met in Pisa, at university.

He taught me a lot of things.

He was the most famous one in our faculty.

Everyone followed him.

Did you ever date him?

Yes.

Sit down, eat something.

Eat, it's good for you.

Now go and play in there.

What's wrong?

How are things with the publisher?

I signed the contract,

but I haven't written a word yet.

The publisher wants to get it out as soon as possible.

But I can't do it, my head's somewhere else,

I'm not focused.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why
should I write another book?"

It's not automatic, it's not a job,

feeling obligated to do it is pointless.

- Somewhere else, where?
- You know.

My head's in Naples.

It's where Nino is,

I'm thinking of going back.

If you love him more than yourself,

take him as he is.

With a wife and kids

and this permanent tendency

to f*ck other women.

And the sordid things

he'll be capable of.

Elena, Elena.

No two ways about it...

In love it's over only when you can

become yourself again, without fear,

or disgust.

Why are you running?

- I gotta pee!
- Do it in your pants, dummy.

Don't say dummy. And you, don't do it in your pants.

Leave her alone.

Dede.

Dede.

Will you help me set the table?

- Can we eat in there?
- Yes.

Mamma, look.

This was outside Franco's room.

Why did you take it down?

Have you bothered him a lot lately?

- No.
- Not at all.

Let's just leave him alone.

"Elena, don't let the girls in."

Franco.

Franco.

The same as the song

That we have to sing

Worn-out shoes

And yet we must march on

Dede.

Dede.

Elsa.

Mariarosa.

Silvia.

Mirko.

Nino?

Nino!

Why?

I'd have preferred to wait before leaving,

stay close to Mariarosa,

but she no longer treated me in a sisterly manner

and she became increasingly hostile.

She got angry if the girls made noise playing,

she got even angrier if I scolded
them for their noisy games,

so I packed our bags and went back to Naples.

Eleonora was still pregnant when
we began to love each other again.

And by the time she gave birth to a girl named Lidia,

Nino and I had already returned
to being a couple of lovers

with our habits,

a beautiful house, two girls

and a rather intense life.

But what were my daughters and I doing in Naples?

We were there only to make Nino happy.

I was lying when I acted free and autonomous,

and I was lying to my audience, despite all my talk,

since I had let a man control
me to the point where his needs

prevailed over mine and my daughters'.

From Via Petrarca, the neighborhood
was a pale, distant memory.

I could tell myself I was someone else now

and I had nothing to do with it
anymore, but that wasn't the case.

I kept showing up to see it.

I knew I was out of excuses,

it was time I dealt with it.