(metallic swooshing)
(wind whooshing)
(gentle music)
- Hi, welcome to my "MTV Cribs".
My name is Ryan.
- And I'm Kaiju!
- No, you're Daniel!
No, I'm not Daniel!
- Help me.
Tell him to stop!
- I'm not.
- I'm gonna destroy you.
- No you're not.
- [Mom] Cut.
And action.
Kamehame-haaaa!
- Why are you smiling, man?
Your dog just died.
- That dog was kinda
useless though.
He was dumb though.
Taco loving asian guy
Taco loving asian guy
Taco loving asian guy
Taco loving asian guy
Taco loving asian guy
Taco loving asian guy
Taco loving asian guy
Taco loving asian guy
Taco loving asian guy
Tacos in my stomach
Feeling guilty but I run it
Gonna eat something
I munch it
See scale I run it run it
- Welcome to our road trip blog.
- Like that subscribe button.
- Do I look better when I'm
looking into the camera?
Or do I look...
- You look great.
- You didn't even look!
Best friend wake up call!
- Ah!
What the.
- Oh sh*t.
Just a taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
- It's fine beau-
- Don't love (indistinct)
- Satchel.
- Boba Fett.
This, this, this
This might be
too much for me
This might be
too much for me
I just need to take a seat
- Oh!
- f*ck you, you f*cking piece
of sh*t! I hope you f*cking die
In your own f*cking
piss, sh*t, and c*m.
You f*cking as*h*le
will be decomposed
with the f*cking
worms and snails.
And f*cking leave me forever.
- (chuckling) So Ryan,
you work in dubbing.
Tell us, is it a bummer
to see your voice come out of
a more talented actor's face?
- Danny, I can't,
I'm f*cking done.
- Come on, you can.
You just keep on
going, keep on going.
We gotta manifest this sh*t.
- I can't do three more wings.
- Only three more.
All right.
- I'm done, I can't.
- We need to freaking learn
how to interview, man.
- When am I ever
gonna be on the show?
- When you're famous.
You'd be a super
good famous person.
- Huh?
- Well, you wanna move
on to our next activity?
- Sure.
- I have a whole
thing planned, okay?
This is our last
weekend together.
We gotta make it big,
we gotta make it grand.
And the only thing that I
really planned out so far
is a hike and maybe a food tour.
- You hate hiking.
- Yeah, I do.
But I'm doing it for
you begrudgingly.
- What if we made
a movie instead?
- A movie?
- Yeah, what if we shot a movie?
- Where'd that
f*cking come from?
- I don't know.
I just feel like it's our
last weekend together, right?
And I don't know, we used to
make dumb videos as kids and-
- That's a lot of work, man.
- Yeah.
- Let's just enjoy the day.
- Look, I'm gonna move
to f*cking Edmonton.
This could be our last chance
to actually make something.
And I feel like we
could also sell it too.
I think nowadays indie's
all about that home feel.
It's almost like the indier
the better for indie now.
That's what my marketing
brain tells me anyways.
- Okay.
- We could just film it in
this house with our own stuff.
We could do it for
free basically.
Let's make a movie.
- I don't, I don't know man.
I just kind of just wanna
like spend some time with you
and just relax.
- Yeah, that is
spending time, right?
We're like making
something, we're having fun.
Yeah.
You know, on "50 First Dates"
when he pulls up the
video every morning
and remembers the great
times he had with his wife.
It's like that but
our friendship.
- Okay.
- Yeah?
- Sure. Sure.
- Yeah?
- Let's do it.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes, yes.
- Yes?
- Yes.
- Yes?
- Yes.
- Yes?
- Yes.
- Okay.
- Yes, let's do it.
- Okay, okay.
Think about it, right?
From a marketing angle
there has never been
an Asian stoner movie.
- "Harold and Kumar".
- Oh, f*ck.
There's never been a
indie Asian stoner movie.
- "Harold and Kumar 2"?
- Wait, imagine if we shot a
"Harold and Kumar" style movie.
We'll both be leads.
We've never been leads.
- I've been a lead
on a commercial.
- Okay, but I'm talking
about like a lead in a movie.
Our own movie.
- I mean, that'd be cool.
- "Daniel and Ryan
go to Wisdom Tree".
- "Daniel and Ryan
goes to Wisdom Tree".
- Hey, look at me.
- What?
- It's a good idea.
- It is?
- It's a good idea.
- Oh.
- Say it with me.
(typewriter typing)
- It's a good-
- It's a good idea.
- Can it be my idea?
- Sure. It's a great idea.
- It is my great idea.
- It is your great idea.
- We should make a movie.
- Let's make a movie.
- Okay, no, no, no.
This is stupid.
You know, like every pair
of friends they get high
and they think that
their dynamic is
unique enough to make a movie.
But that doesn't mean
that they should.
- That's actually a great title.
- What?
- Wait, hold on, I'm just
figuring out the settings.
Got my self-tape,
tripod, iPhone, lights.
- Cute.
- Hold on, lemme just
change this to 4K.
Everyone needs 4K now.
- So, what are we
actually filming?
- I think it's like indie art
house, like Terrence Malick.
- I don't know who
Terrence Malick is.
- He's only the most auteur
filmmaker in the world.
- How about about
two roommates in L.A
trying to talk about feelings?
- Why would we do that?
No one wants to watch a movie
about people talking
about feelings.
- Let's talk about our parents.
- What? (chuckling)
Why do I wanna talk
about my parents?
- I don't know,
childhood trauma?
- So what are we gonna
make the movie about?
- Well, I don't know.
My plan was for you to go
like around L.A with me
and say goodbye to everything
- Can you hold that thought.
I think that's actually a
really good idea for the movie.
Like, what if you're
sending me off
because I'm moving to
Edmonton in a week.
And the movie is you
following around first person
as we go around all these
landmarks saying goodbye
to L.A?
Like a montage.
- I have a worry.
- What?
- I worry that our movie's
gonna be only funny
to me and you.
- No.
No, we are funny.
I mean, my mom sent me
videos of us as kids
on that old DV camera.
Yeah, we're f*cking
hilarious in it.
- Really?
- Tomatoes and
bitter, bitter melon.
Super bitter.
Going to try this.
Watermelon,
watermelon, watermelon.
- Hand sock.
That watermelon keeps sliding.
- During the night when...
Hey, wow, I swear.
Stop it.
Bebeh and play with the crib.
Ah ha ha. Ow.
- Woo. (chuckling)
- Taste green apple.
Ah.
- [Danny] I suck at basketball.
- Most embarrassing shot ever.
Why are you following me?
I know, I'm too cool.
You can't get enough of me.
- [Danny] Hey,
where are you going?
Come back.
- Yeah, I thought
we were funnier.
- That was art.
- That was so bad.
- I was so cute.
- That was bad.
- That was art.
That was art.
- Look at how cringe
your acting is.
Look at the framing of this.
- It's beautiful.
There's a unique perspective
that you don't really
see all the time.
- It's also on you
like 80% of the time.
- Yeah, thank God, Kathy.
- Isn't it crazy we moved here
12 years ago to become actors
and we've gone out for
like 90% of the same roles.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That is a little, I don't
think that we look alike.
- I don't think so, we
look very different.
- Not according to white people.
- I would love to have a
career on a show, like,
I don't know, something
that's really transformative
for Asian Americans, like "Fresh
Off the Boat" or something.
- Never heard of it.
- We auditioned for it.
- Yeah, they didn't hire me.
- It's like the most
transformative show
for Asian Americans
in the last 10 years.
It like started off with that,
then "Crazy Rich Asians",
then "Shang-Chi",
then "Everything
Everywhere All At Once".
You never watched
"Fresh Off the Boat"?
- Yeah, they didn't hire me.
They clearly have bad taste.
- Oh my God.
Okay.
See, this is why we
have to make this movie.
So people can actually see that
we're two different people.
It's breaking the stereotype.
And to help you pursue your
dream to be a rapper, remember?
- To help us pursue
our dreams of stardom.
- Okay, so stardom,
look at this energy.
Let's carry that and
let's make a movie.
- Yeah.
- Okay, great.
- Definitely.
- Okay, great.
So what I'm thinking is
we can go around town-
- Something exactly like this.
- Yeah, let's capture
this energy on the iPhone
and let's make it look like-
- No, I wanna use that.
Let's use the same camera.
- What?
No, why?
That's so like early 2000s.
We have iPhones now.
- Early 2000s nostalgia
is so back in right now, man.
- Yeah, but like we can
sh**t on our iPhone-
- Tamogachi.
- And then put a filter on it
and make it look
like a DV camera.
- Betty Spaghetti.
- What is Betty Spaghetti?
- Little robot doggy thingy.
- I had that, that was...
I guess we can work
with the nostalgia.
- Yeah.
- I mean,
from a marketing standpoint,
nostalgia's really-
- Please don't talk
about marketing.
Please.
- Why?
- I'm already in on this.
- Okay, okay, okay.
- Just...
- Say that one more time.
Say, don't say anymore,
I wanna sh**t a movie.
- Don't say anymore,
I wanna sh**t it.
Don't say anymore, I
want to say a movie.
Don't sh**t anymore, I
want to sh**t a movie.
- That's the spirit.
L.A Movie Montage.
- L.A movie montage.
Okay, stop.
What are we doing?
- I don't know.
You wanted to just go
to all your landmarks?
- [Danny] Where?
- [Ryan] Right there.
Right there.
- Wow, crazy.
What an icon.
- [Ryan] Where we at?
- We are at holly weed.
Oh my gosh.
Whoa.
Oh my God, Hollywood.
We're in Hollywood.
- Land of Angels.
City of angels.
- [Danny] Wow.
Where is it?
We're gonna be tourists in L.A.
What are you gonna miss?
- Street tacos.
- [Danny] Uh-huh.
- Frutas.
- [Danny] Uh-huh.
- My best friend Danny.
- [Danny] Aw.
- [Ryan] Wow, the Walk of fame.
- Oh point the camera.
- Wow.
- Pat Morita
Asian legend.
- [Danny] Get a little,
other way.
- [Ryan] What do
you want to say?
- I've never been here before.
- [Ryan] Where are we?
- I have no idea.
- [Ryan] Mmmm.
Where are you
eating there, Danny?
Is that a guava cheese strudel?
- No more exposition!
- [Ryan] Okay.
- Every single (indistinct).
- Okay.
- Follow me.
- [Ryan] All right,
I'm following you.
- You can't use that music, man.
Come on.
(Ryan laughing)
- Oh, can we get that lady to
film us doing "La La Land"?
- You get it.
- Ay.
Hey Danny, this is what I'm
gonna miss most about L.A.
How is it?
- It's so good.
- [Ryan] Be more excited Danny.
- It's delicious.
- L.A prices, baby.
Ah ah.
Mmm.
Frutas.
Hey Danny, do you know what
I'm gonna miss about you?
- [Danny] What?
- Nothing.
- [Danny] Are we
supposed to have a story?
- Your turn.
Here, let's get
you in front of it.
- Can we just go eat now?
- [Ryan] No.
Whoa, whoa.
Are you okay?
- I didn't, that
wasn't a big deal.
That wasn't a big deal at all.
Why are you making
such a big deal?
- [Ryan] Oh, excuse me.
Do you mind just videoing us?
Oh my goodness gracious.
I'm a carne asada taco
fries loving Asian guy.
Carne asado fries-
- All right, let's save
this from the cringiness
and just stop now.
- [Ryan] Made it home.
- Okay.
I didn't wanna be rude there,
but this is the saddest
excuse for carne asada fries.
- [Ryan] Let's see.
Bye. Bye. Danny.
- [Danny] Stop saying my name.
- Did we just plop
down at the same time?
- Yeah, we did.
- That only happens
in the movies.
- Okay, we're done.
Wanna do something else now?
- What're you talking about?
We're just getting started.
Now we gotta figure out
how to sell this thing.
So I took an online
screenwriting course.
k*ll the dog.
- Why the dog?
- I actually don't know.
Anyways, there's four steps
to creating the perfect movie.
It's very easy.
Number one, have an
interesting dynamic,
which we have.
Number two, amazing acting.
Which we are.
- Duh.
- Number three, a plot.
We don't have a plot.
- What if I'm a cowboy
and you're an alien?
And then we just battle
it out with swords.
- Why?
The is a no budget movie
we're sh**ting in a weekend.
- Oh! Oh.
What if I'm a lawyer from UCLA,
but then I follow you to Harvard
for grad school.
- Isn't that "Legally Blonde"?
- What if we were twins
and we were gonna visit
our rich dad in Paris-
- No, no no.
- The chef.
- Danny, this is way-
- [Danny] French fries
or something and lost-
- Danny, I love your enthusiasm,
but this is way too complicated.
Okay. We have a weekend
to sh**t a movie.
Okay, let, let's
think about like
what we have available
around us, right?
Well we have this location.
You and me are the actors.
We already shot two hours
on the DV cam.
- Yeah.
- Oh, okay. Hold on.
Train of thought.
Okay, get this. So everyone
loves nostalgic sh*t, right?
But there's no plot there.
So you know how
this is you, right?
With the DV cam.
- Can you maybe skinnier?
- Okay. And then that's me.
- [Danny] Make yourself fatter.
- Ugh, f*ck.
Okay, sure.
So you know this was us
running around all day, right?
So what if this whole time
we were actually making a
movie about us making a movie.
So that's a tripod
with an iPhone on it.
So what if it's actually
you and me, Danny and Ryan,
sh**ting a movie
about our characters.
Who do you wanna be?
Just gimme a name.
- Greg.
- Okay. Greg.
- Two Gs.
- Why
- [Danny] Unique
- Okay, Gregg.
This is me Tim.
- [Danny] Heh.
- So what if it's
really a movie about us,
making a movie, about
us making a movie.
It's f*cking meta.
So we reshoot everything
on a tripod with an iPhone.
So really,
it's the iPhone recapturing
us as characters,
Gregg and Tim...
Making a movie...
Us as characters.
So, really it's Danny
and Ryan making a movie
about two characters,
making a movie about...
And that is me and
you, Danny and Ryan.
So we, Danny and Ryan
made a movie on an iPhone
about Gregg and Tim, making a
movie about Jasper and Jake,
sh**ting a movie on a DV camera.
It's meta.
- Oh my god, that
sounds pretentious
and stupid and f*cking lame.
- How many meta movies
have there been?
- [Danny] A lot.
- What?
- "Truman Show", "Adaptation",
"Being John Malkovich".
- Think about it from
a marketing perspective.
- "Fleabag".
- It's two Asian guys
who sh**t a movie
on zero budget over one
weekend and it's double meta.
- Can we just have fun
like we were supposed to?
- This is fun.
We can, we can hang out.
We can sh**t the movie
and create a lasting
memory for our friendship.
- A lasting memory
for our friendship?
- Yeah.
Like when I move to Edmonton,
we can like watch this
movie back every year
to remember how much fun we had.
- To remember how
much fun we had?
- Yeah.
- Together?
- Yes.
- I don't get it.
- It's meta. There's
nothing to get.
Okay. Anyways, so last
thing we need is a secret.
So this is something
that we introduce
to the audience slowly at
the beginning of the movie.
And then towards
the end of the movie
it comes out and
it's a big bombshell
that ends up leading
to the cl*max,
which fully rounds
out the movie.
- What if I was secretly
g*y all my life,
but I did not tell
a soul about it,
even my closest bestest friend,
because even though
that he'll accept me.
I have so much shame
and internal h*m*
that I can't accept it myself,
due to like my parents,
my Asian upbringing
and the military city
that I grew up in.
- That is so nuanced. I love it.
Alright, so we have the secret.
Oh! One other thing
I just remembered.
So-
- And he's traumatized.
- Amazing. Hold
onto those thoughts
'cause we're gonna put
that right into Gregg.
So-
- Oh, can I narrate?
I love movies with narrators.
- No, that's a dumb, cheap,
lazy way to get information out.
Okay, for our-
- [Danny Voiceover] Eh,
I'm gonna do it anyway
and I'm gonna be the best
narrator there ever was.
In a world...
No, as far back
as I can remember,
I've wanted a box of chocolates.
Or, life is like
a gangster film.
Wait, no. Maybe I mixed that up.
Wait, what the f*ck?
Um, can I see you?
Hmm.
I feel like I'm in a fishbowl.
Huh, oh weird.
Oh sh*t.
- Oh. What do you think?
- I think good.
- So the last thing
we need is a B-story.
It's a secondary
storyline that, oh-
(phone ringing)
Guilty but I run it
gonna eat something
- Oh it's Harper.
- Don't answer it.
- Should have picked up?
- No.
- [Harper] Did you
really not do the sh*t
we talked about earlier?
- Hey Harps, you have
me and Danny on speaker.
- Hi Harper.
- [Harper] Oh, f*ck. Hi Danny.
Awkward. Hello.
Um, really quick. Can
I ask you something?
- Hey, we're kind of busy
right now sh**ting a movie.
So can you call
back later please?
- [Harper] A movie? Okay.
That sounds like a
really productive use
of your time right now.
Okay.
- Okay, Harper, gotta go.
Love you. Bye
- Bye.
Oh wait, he speaks Cantonese.
Good thing he can't
hear my thoughts.
- I'm gonna go
get the DV camera.
Oh, imagine if we had
a celebrity cameo.
That would be sick.
(doorbell ringing)
- [Danny] I'll get it.
(hand knocking on door)
- Hey.
We're new to the
neighborhood and my dad was
really serious about
getting you guys cookies.
- [Danny] Cool.
- So-
- [Danny] I'm Daniel.
- I burned these a little bit.
- Oh, I can't talk right now.
I'm sh**ting a big
movie, so yeah.
Sorry. I'm Daniel by the way.
- I'll Talk to you later.
- Do you want to be friends?
(door slamming)
- Oh, I have nothing to wear.
- Doesn't matter.
Just pick whatever intuitively
fits your characters.
It's not important.
- Oh my god. We should do a
classic makeover movie montage.
- What? No. Why
would we do that?
Our movie's a meta movie that
has nothing to do with this.
- Every arthouse movie I
love has a makeover scene.
- What arthouse movie has a
movie makeover montage scene.
- "The Devil wears Prada".
- That's not arthouse.
- "House Bunny".
- That's definitely
not arthouse.
- You have no taste at all.
- That's not arthouse.
- Okay. What's
considered arthouse then?
- Arthouse is like something
from an indie distributor
like IFC, A24, Neon.
- Everything you're saying
sounds like blah blah blah blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
Okay, fine, fine, fine.
No movie makeover.
- No, it was a good idea.
Just not for this movie.
And your idea about
your character
being closeted is brilliant.
That's gonna be the thing
that people remember
most about this movie.
- What do you mean?
- If we wanna sell this movie,
we wanna appeal to as many
audiences as possible.
So we have the Asian
American audiences,
'cause you and me are Asian.
We have the indie audiences,
'cause we're sh**ting
this as an indie film.
And we can get the
q*eer audiences as well,
if one of the characters is g*y.
That's really in now.
And g*y audiences have
more disposable income
and they go to the movies more.
- I don't think you're
allowed to say that out loud.
- It's fine in the
marketing world.
Also no one's gonna hear this.
Anyways, just trust me.
It'll be good for
marketing. Okay?
- Yeah.
I don't want my
characters to just be g*y
for being g*y.
I want him to be, you
know, multifaceted,
funny, charming,
handsome, smart.
- Yeah. No, that's awesome.
We can do all those things
and you know it's perfect.
As an actor, you gotta
stretch those muscles
and get to play something you
don't usually get to play.
- That was a good
answer to give.
Ryan exploiting my secret
sexuality is making me nervous.
- Oh. Also in this article
it says it's important
to show emotions and not tell.
- [Danny Voiceover]
Nevermind I take that back.
- Okay, let's sh**t.
Let's go to a more
interesting location.
'Cause no one wants to watch
two dudes talking in a room.
Yeah, I think this is good.
Let's go sit over there.
- Yeah, we need sunscreen.
- No, it's fine.
Darker the better.
So let's talk about
where we wanna sh**t.
- [Danny] Okay.
- I think we should
have you in the pool.
- No pool.
- Now look at-
Why?
- I'm not taking off my clothes.
- You don't have to...
Okay, that's fine.
We could just do it here.
You know how you
mentioned the g*y thing?
I think you had a good point
in that we need it
to be more nuanced.
So I think we need to add
more to your character.
I think your character can
also be a failed rapper
who is also secretly in
love with my character
and is jealous of him.
- Oh, okay. Okay.
Well what if yours was a
failed digital marketer
who always wanted to
succeed in acting,
but all he cares about is
money and business and success.
And you don't really care
about, you know, the art
and having fun and
making good moments.
- That's the perfect dynamic.
That's, that's perfect.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Okay, great. I think we
understand our characters now.
- Wait, what are you,
whoa. What are you doing?
- Getting high.
- No. Stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop, stop.
What are you doing? Why
are you getting high?
- Having my edible edibles.
- Why? No, we're sh**t...
Don't. That is huge.
Don't don't eat that.
We're sh**ting this movie sober.
- I thought this was
supposed to be fun.
- That's not the
vision for this.
- So you don't want
this to be fun?
- No, it will be fun.
We're gonna do fun things.
We just don't need
to be high for it.
No, stop, stop.
Don't, don't. Please don't.
Don't seriously don't.
This is important.
- I do everything
important high.
- Like what?
- My taxes.
My grocery shopping.
- Is that why you
owed money last year?
- I thought we weren't
gonna talk about that.
- Oh, f*ck. Sorry.
Is that a sore spot?
- You were supposed to
help me with my taxes.
- I was high too.
This I told you-
- Yeah!
- We can't do important things
high.
- You literally
came to my place.
- I did.
- To help me. And you
got freaking high.
- You told me to get high.
And then you wanted me
to do your taxes for you.
- That was your fault.
- You can't do
these things high.
- You're not good at doing
things high.
- Okay, fine.
I'm not good at
doing things high.
- Yeah, you're not good at-
- Okay.
- Doing things high.
- I'm not good at
doing things high.
- Yeah.
- But I also want to make sure
we're on the same wavelength
when we sh**t this movie.
- Totally.
- We can't have one person
high and one person not.
- I am always on the same
wavelength as you.
- Ugh. Danny.
- What?
- Please.
This is the only thing I
asked of you this weekend.
- The only thing?
- Yes.
- The only thing?
- The only thing I've asked you.
Okay.
The only thing I will
ask you from now on.
Just please one thing.
Just do this sober
with me. Okay?
Please?
What is, what's this?
- I agreed.
- Okay. Thank you.
Okay, well I'm gonna
set this up now. Okay?
Oh, hold on. I
gotta adjust this.
Ugh.
Okay. Alright.
Looking good.
F you, you F-ing piece of poop.
I hope you die in a
pool of your own blood.
What are we doing this weekend?
- We're going to
go to the hiking
and we will also maybe go for-
- What are you doing?
Why are you putting
on an accent?
- We're acting.
- My mom sent me
a Super 8 camera.
We were so funny as kids.
- Oh my gosh,
we were so funny.
- Stop moving
the camera so much.
- [Danny] Oh sorry.
- It's all right.
Oh, that was so bad.
- That was art.
- And your character can
be Jasper and I can be Jake
and we can make
a movie together.
Can you imagine
two Asian Americans
in a movie with a DV camera?
- Speed it up man.
- Oh my god.
So we just shot this whole movie
and Jake and so Jasper...
We should make a movie.
Oh my God. What if the
movie we just shot.
Gimme, gimme a name.
"Extraordinarily Unique
Dynamic" by Jasper and Jake.
You're Jasper. I'm Jake.
My mouth is on fire.
- Oh, oh, ugh.
- Ah.
- What was my line?
What if we make a
movie where we just
are like floating blobs in space
and you could only
hear our thoughts?
- What? that's so dumb.
Turn the flash off.
And stop. Are you high?
Wait, let's see your eyeball.
Let me zoom in.
- I'm not stoned.
My character's high.
I'm ready for L.A Movie Montage.
- Wow. That'll be
the best sendoff
because I'm gonna miss burgers.
There's burgers in Canada dude.
- $5 for a double,
double cheeseburger?
- Toasted lettuce.
- [Danny] Shut up Jake.
- Wow, you got the
meta. Great job. Jasper.
- [Danny] Shut up Jake.
- Wait, sh*t. I just
commented on it.
Sorry,
- Oh, Jesus.
Look, I just don't
wanna do this anymore.
Can we stop?
- No, Jack. Jake.
- All right Danny,
so in this scene,
Gregg and Tim are just
taking a break from filming.
And-
(bag crinkling)
What are you doing?
- I'm opening some Fritos.
Oh, uhh.
- You can't say the Fritos.
- I'm opening the ritos.
- It's copyright.
Great. Okay.
So anyways, in this scene,
'cause no one wants to
just watch a movie
about two guys
talking about making a
movie the whole time.
We could just be ourselves
as Gregg and Tim
talking about whatever.
Okay?
- Mm-hmm.
- Hold on. Let me
just do some pushups.
'Cause I need to pump
myself up a little.
- Why do you need a pump?
- I just wanna look good
on camera. You know?
- You already look
good on camera.
- No, I feel like
nowadays Asian male leads
are all shown as
like hypersexualized
super hot dudes with
like eight packs.
And that's not attainable.
But I feel like I need to
at least get somewhat close.
- Hey, if you try to
strive for perfection,
you just get boring.
- Boring?
I don't think-
- It does suck though.
It went from like nerdy Asians
to like super hot
unattainable Asians.
- I know. You know
what's bullshit?
I've been working
out every other day
for the last six
months trying to look
wedding ready and I still
don't have a f*cking six pack.
It's so bullshit.
- Do you eat a lot of carbs?
- I do like carbs. I eat a
lot of rice. (sexy grunting)
All right.
Where should we sh**t?
- Right here.
- Oh, okay. Do you
want to like do
some pushups first?
- No, no.
We're gonna talk and connect.
- Just talk on the bench.
- Yeah.
Let me warm this up for you.
- Uh
Okay.
Yeah, I guess we can just
be our characters
and talk on here.
Do you wanna change
in a gym clothes?
- No, I wanna feel stylish.
- Okay.
Sure.
Okay, so do you remember
what we're doing?
- No.
- We want to have some tension
build for the audience.
So we're gonna talk
about that secret
of your character being g*y.
But not actually
talk about that.
My character is gonna
press that a little bit.
I'm gonna ask about
your dating life
and you're gonna deflect.
Alright, so you ready?
Let's actually start with a
laugh 'cause it's more natural.
Okay?
So how's your
dating life, Gregg?
Flavors tingling my
whole freaking pallette
sweet, sour, spicy sauce
- No.
Might get u really phallic
- Stop, stop. Danny.
Danny. Danny.
- Salty, spicy.
- Danny. Stop. Stop.
Stop. Danny, what are you doing?
- Umami, I'm rapping.
- Why are you rapping?
- To deflect.
- No, like deflect like a
normal person would deflect.
Like-
- I am a normal person.
- No, sorry, I didn't
mean like that.
No, I just mean
like, if I ask you,
"Hey, how's your dating life?"
Like an example could be,
"I don't really wanna talk
about that right now."
Or like, "How's
your dating life?"
Like those are examples of that.
I don't want to like
put words in your mouth
'cause we're improvising
and whatever.
I don't want to give you an
idea of what your character is.
But I'll just ask you again
and try something more natural.
Okay?
- Okay.
- All right, let's laugh
again. (clears throat)
So how's your
dating life, Gregg?
- You might get impressed by
my Cantonese steamed fish.
1 little taste you'll become-
- What the f*ck.
- My perfect little b*tch.
- No Gregg.
Gregg. I mean, Danny.
Danny.
- b*tch.
- Stop. I mean, A, that rap
is a little misogynistic.
But B, don't deflect like that.
Like deflect, like
a normal person.
- I did.
- Oh my god.
Okay, last time. Let's
just do it one more time.
Okay. Just please just,
just say word for word
what I'm about to tell you.
Okay.
Just take an awkward
beat and say,
"I don't want to
talk about that."
Okay?
- Okay.
- Okay. All right.
Ready? Okay. So laugh again.
So how's your
dating life, Gregg?
- I don't wanna talk about that.
- Oh, sorry. I didn't
mean to ask you.
We could talk about
literally anything else.
Walk in the room
What do I see
Something peeking
my curiosity
Are you curious
Stick a finger in it
Are you curious
- Okay, Danny, stop.
Stick a finger in it
- Danny. Stop!
Okay.
Okay, let's...
Know what? I have a better idea.
You know how we always said
we wanna show and not tell?
So I'm gonna take my
shirt off and work out
and then you are
gonna go over there
and sneak some peeks at me.
So the audience knows
that you're secretly g*y
and in love with my character.
- No, but I don't
find you attractive.
- No, I know you don't
find me attractive,
but Gregg finds Tim attractive.
- Oh yeah, yeah.
- Right?
- Yeah. Right.
- Great. Okay, so I'm
gonna go set up there.
Just, yeah, I'm gonna go set up.
God, this is gonna be even
better. This is so subtle.
Perfect. Here, I'm just
gonna get this cranked up.
Oh, weights.
Ugh.
Oh, my shirt.
Hey Danny, I'm really
sorry about earlier.
I didn't mean to yell at you.
That was uncalled for, but
you know, I love you, man.
Here. Great.
What the f*ck Danny?
- What?
- You're f*cking high.
- I'm not high.
- You only get in this
thing when you're high.
- Ah, yeah, I do.
- Oh my God. Dude, I had
one ask of you all weekend.
- What was that?
- I said don't get high.
- [Danny] Look, I'm
sorry. I'm sorry.
- You f*cking ruined
the whole movie.
- No, I didn't ruin the movie.
No, I can fix this.
But I, I have an
idea for the film.
I have an idea for the scene.
Okay.
- Okay, you look great.
- It's on you.
- Okay. You look awesome.
- Okay. What's your
brilliant idea?
- All right, so I don't
think you've realized,
but we haven't really explored
Ryan's psyche at all yet.
- You mean Tim?
- Tim.
So I don't think
that you've realized,
but like, we haven't
explored Tim's psyche yet.
- Okay.
- Tip of the iceberg,
ocean down here.
- Okay.
- So the thing that
we have to do is,
we gotta like, talk
about vulnerabilities.
Ask important questions.
We capture that on
camera, get real emotions,
and then people are gonna cry.
- No, that's actually
a pretty good idea.
- Alright.
- Okay.
Do you want to just roll one-
- Yeah. Yeah.
- [Ryan] And see what happens?
- I already pressed-
- Oh, okay.
We're going. Okay.
- Okay, so-
- Okay, let me just get
into character. Okay.
- I'm trying to get
into character too.
Okay.
Do you think that
you can be happy
with one person for
the rest of your life?
And because Harper
was your first-
- Wait, stop.
- [Danny] Girl that
you've ever dated.
- Sorry. Stop, stop.
Wait, we can't use Harper.
That's, that's too weird.
Can we call Harper
something else?
- Ginger?
- Tim, Gregg and Ginger.
Yeah. That works.
- Okay.
- Yeah, okay so-
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Let's start over.
- All right.
Do you think you'll
resent Ginger
for making you move
from L.A to Edmonton,
and not see your best
friend ever again?
- No. Gregg, I
don't think I would
because, you know, I
gave it my best shot.
And it's the next
natural progression.
- Do you think
you'll resent Ginger
for making you
leave the one job,
occupation, passion, career,
that thing that you've been
wanting this whole entire time
that you've been on this Earth?
- No, Gregg.
I think now with work from home,
I can do digital
marketing from Edmonton.
- Are you gonna resent
Harper for making you move?
- Ginger, Ginger.
- Ginger.
Are you using this as an
excuse just to, just to quit?
- No, Gregg, I'm not.
It's the next logical
step in my life.
I, I think, Gregg,
it is a question-
- Just answer the question.
- No, I-
- Are you gonna resent Ginger?
- I no, I, I think I won't
because it's the
next logical step,
and he gave it a shot for,
I gave it a shot for 12 years.
- How is it a logical step?
- You know, I need to
start a family, Gregg.
- That's not what you wanted.
- What, what do I want, Gregg?
- You want to be an actor?
- Can, can we, can
we cut for a sec?
- No.
- No what?
No, we're, we're
getting too close.
We, we are...
It it feels weird.
- Well maybe it
needs to feel weird.
- Why? No.
It's supposed to be meta.
It's supposed to be fun.
- Aren't you going to be sad
when you have to
leave LA and me?
I know you.
- I don't know what you're
talking about, Gregg.
- Aren't you gonna miss me?
You're going to leave
me and go to Edmonton?
- I'll come back.
It's a five hour fight.
- No, you're not
going to come back.
That doesn't, that's
not how it works.
- Great. No, this is great
that we got this interaction.
But, can...
- Just answer the question.
- I think we're,
I think we're focusing
too much on this story.
We need to focus on the B story.
I, I'm just gonna go, I need
to go clear my head. Okay?
I'll be back. I'll be back.
- Okay. He's mad, but it's okay.
But it's being...
I'm so weird right now, man.
You're being weird
because you are afraid
to telling him that you're g*y.
But it's okay.
People are g*y. People
are f*cking f*ggots.
I'm not,
but I'm not a f*gg*t, I'm g*y.
But that's not
even right to say.
And that's a rhyme.
That could be a
such a cool new rap.
- He's such a f*cking
stoner. (grunting)
- [Harper] Yeah. But like,
he's a fun stoner at least.
You know, he got
high last weekend
and tried on all my clothes.
He was rocking a
purple jumpsuit.
- Why does he always
try on your clothes?
- You're just acting weird
because you can't tell
him that you're g*y.
And you should just
say that you're g*y.
It's not a big deal.
It's the 21st,
it's the 21st century, it's
the 22nd, I don't remember.
But it's some kind of century
that it's okay now
in this part of town.
- [Harper] I mean, yeah,
he's like a weird dude.
But that's why you like him
and that's why you're
friends with him.
Instead of trying
to put him in a box,
you should use his
weirdness to your advantage.
- Yeah.
God, I love him so much
and I hate him so
much at the same time.
- I'm okay.
If I want him to be vulnerable,
you have to be vulnerable.
If I have, if I want
to be vulnerable,
you have to be vuln...
No, if he, if I want
him to be vulnerable,
you have to be vulnerable.
And that's how you fix it.
And I love you and
this is stupid.
Goodbye.
- No, but you're right.
I just have to lean
into his personality.
Yeah. I'm gonna make
him a huge stoner
with no life ambition,
who only has one friend
in the whole world.
And has put all his eggs
into this one friend basket.
And he can't stand it
when this other friend
has other things going on.
So then he spirals.
And he's never worked
for anything in his life
because his mom
bought him this house
and pays for everything for him.
He doesn't have a job.
He doesn't really have
any real plans in life.
He's just gonna end up
single and have no friends.
When his best friend
moves to Canada
with his beautiful fiance.
Holy sh*t. Thanks Harper.
- [Harper] That's not
really what I meant.
Oh, okay.
- Look, I feel really
upset right now.
Look, we used to be inseparable.
You're supposed to
be my best friend.
But I don't feel like
I'm your best friend.
I just feel like a side
character in your world.
And that's not fair.
And this weekend was
supposed to be about us.
Because I don't get
to see you anymore.
But you made it...
Exploiting me with
my secret sexuality
and our hilarious dynamic and
you made it all about you.
And that's not fair.
And-
- And cut.
Wow. That was incredible.
Gregg, I really
believed you as Jasper.
- Mm-hmm.
- And cut.
Danny, that was so good.
- Are we done yet?
- Oh.
(phone ringing)
Tacos in my stomach
Feeling guilty-
- Oh, it's,
dan's here,
- Dan?
- Yeah. You know YouTuber?
I figured he could
add some really great
dynamic to our movie.
It was feeling a little
stale, don't you think?
Oh, he's at the gate.
Just hold onto this.
I haven't backed it up
yet, so just be careful.
Okay. Thanks buddy.
- [Danny] sh*t. sh*t.
sh*t. sh*t. sh*t.
sh*t.
sh*t.
f*ck.
- [Ryan] Hey, Danny.
Danny, Dan's here.
- Oh sh*t. No!
- [Ryan] What the f*ck, Danny?
- [Danny] You invited
Dan behind my back.
- [Ryan] You f*cking threw
my camcorder into the pool.
- [Danny] You made me do it.
- How did I make you
throw the camcorder in?
- You scared me.
- You were already
wet you idiot.
- Don't f*cking
call me an idiot.
- Well, you threw it in twice.
- You are a f*cking b*stard.
- I'm a b*stard?
- Yeah.
- You're a b*stard.
- You're a little b*tch.
- Why am I a b*tch?
- Because you look like
a little b*tch.
- f*ck you.
- You little b*tch.
- Why are you so mean to Dan?
- Because he is the
little f*cking b*tch.
- Why is he a b*tch?
- [Danny] Look at
his f*cking face.
- What's wrong with Dan?
I'm so sorry, Dan.
- He's he's not sorry at all.
- Guys, I don't really know
what's going on here.
- You f*cking talk so slow.
- Don't cut him off.
- I-
- Let him talk.
- I just came here to-
- Bah.
- I just came here to-
- [Danny] Bah.
- I just came here
to sh**t a movie.
I don't know why you
guys are fighting,
but I think you guys need
to talk it again.
- Hey Dan,
can I ask you a question?
- Yeah.
- Who's in the wrong here?
- Nobody is in the wrong.
- I hate that f*cking answer.
- [Ryan] Don't cuss at Dan.
- Who's in the wrong?
- [Ryan] f*ck you.
- [Danny] f*ck you.
- [Ryan] f*ck you.
- [Danny] f*ck you.
He stole my name.
- No one stole your name.
You know how many
Dans are in the world?
At least five
million in the U.S.
- I'm the only Dan in L.A.
Or at least I'm the only Dan
that put all his eggs
into one friend basket.
- Were you listening
to my calls?
- You had the door
open, f*ck.
- You don't f*cking
snoop on someone.
- You had the f*cking door
open f*ck.
- Why were you listening?
- Because you had the door open.
- Doesn't mean you
have to listen.
- You had the door open.
- [Ryan] You don't have to
f*cking snoop all the time.
All you do is snoop.
- You don't have to be
so f*cking loud.
- f*cking Snoopy.
You're just f*cking Snoopy.
Snoopy.
- Shut the f*ck up.
You can't even own up
for your own mistake.
- f*cking listen.
f*ck you.
- You're the one-
- You don't listen to me.
- That made the mistake.
- I didn't make any mistake.
- You don't have to listen.
- You talk sh*t about me.
- Oh, it wasn't even that bad.
- You talked sh*t about me-
- It's true.
- In my own f*cking house.
- Okay, well, it's
not your house.
- Sorry, I'm just-
- Get the f*ck away.
f*cking Dan.
- Sorry Dan. I'll call you.
- Don't f*cking call him.
- You're a f*cking as*h*le.
- I'm glad you're
moving to Canada
because you can't even
book a job anyway.
- Say that to my f*cking face.
What? Say it.
- [Danny] You are a bad friend.
You are a bad friend and
you are abandoning me.
- What am I your
f*cking boyfriend?
- Oh, you think I'm in love
with you because I'm g*y?
- No, I...
You never told me you're g*y.
- You never asked.
- What was I supposed to ask?
- You don't...
It's not just about
the g*y thing.
You never asked about
anything about my life.
- Why didn't you
tell me you were g*y
- Because you don't talk to me.
- What do mean?
- You only-
- I talk to you all the time.
- You talk about yourself.
- No I don't.
- You talk about
how your day was.
You talk about Harper.
You talk about your hockey.
Your f*cking rock climbing.
You don't ask about me.
- You're a f*cking bad friend
because you should have known
that if you told me you were
g*y, I would've accepted you.
You're not saying anything
'cause you know, it's true.
You know it's f*cking true.
- [Danny] You are a bad friend.
Bad friend,
- Famous actor. I'll be the
best actor in the world.
I won't give up.
- Well I'll be a famous rapper
and the best rapper in
the world and beat you.
- No, I'll beat you.
- No, I'll beat you.
- I beat you.
- I make more money than you.
- I'm older than you.
- I don't care if
you're older than me,
but I make more money than you.
Ah.
- Ah.
No I am.
- Ah.
- [Ryan] He came out to me.
- [Harper] Seriously?
- Yeah.
I mean, we've all
known, but like,
it just really f*ck with me
that he thinks that I
wouldn't accept him.
Like, does he not know who I am?
Like we've known each
other for 20 years.
I just-
- [Harper] It's not about
you not accepting him.
It's just like him worrying
the dynamic's going
to change, right?
Like you've been friends
in this one setting
and then to introduce
him being g*y,
he's worried that
that's going to
just change the
way you view him.
Even if you do accept him.
Like, I think you just
really just need to go talk
to him right now and
kind of work through it
and let him know it
doesn't change anything.
And you're always going
to be his best friend
no matter what.
(doorbell ringing)
- Hey.
It's kind of awkward,
can I get those trays back?
Going LARPing later
and those are great
shields and armor, so.
- Sure.
Well, actually, can
you talk right now?
- Yeah, but the LARPing,
- And then I said I
was g*y, which I am.
And then I pushed
him. I said, f*ck you.
And then, now I'm here.
- Well, that sounds
really hard and I'm sorry.
- It is. What should I do?
- Well, since meeting you
and you told me your 20
years of back history.
I think you should apologize.
You know, life is about choosing
the battles you wanna take.
And this is somebody you've
been with for a long time.
- Apologize?
- Yeah, but this is your-
- That's hard.
- But this is your friend.
You know, sometimes
you have to apologize.
Be the bigger man and
he'll apologize too.
Look, I know it's gonna be hard.
You know, sometimes it's
hard for men to be open
with their emotions
but I believe in you.
We're better than that.
- [Danny Voiceover] Whoa.
This really tall kind of hot
guy is making a good point.
And he's really
eloquent with his words.
Maybe I should
just get over this
and have a real heart to heart.
Hmm. Am I developing a type?
Hmm.
Anyway, just have
to keep looking sad
and find a way out
of this conversation.
- And ask yourself, is this
really worth fighting for?
You know, men aren't known
to express their emotions.
But we're better than that.
You know, you got
this. I believe in you.
- Really?
- Even though I just met you.
- That was really wise.
- Thank you.
- How old are you
- Old enough?
- Nevermind.
Thank you, man.
I'm gonna go and
talk to him now.
- Cool. Of course.
- [Danny] No huggy.
No, no, no, no. You stay.
Stay.
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
(kids laughing)
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Do you want to talk?
- Should I...
- Yeah, just...
Wherever you want.
I'm sorry.
- I am sorry too.
- You know, I didn't
mean the things I said.
- Yeah, I didn't mean it either.
- But I do feel like
I should have been
more attentative
and more supportive.
And I'm sorry.
- Yeah.
And I shouldn't be, you know,
holding onto our
friendship too long.
- What does that mean?
- As in, sorry.
- You want to
end our friendship?
- No, no, no, no, no.
I'm saying like,
I shouldn't like,
keep you all to myself because
that isn't fair to you.
And I understand that logically,
but I just don't have
a lot of close friends.
So I really value you a lot.
And I don't know, it just,
it's just a little hard.
- Can I ask you something?
And you don't have to answer
it if you don't want to,
but do you want to talk
about the g*y thing?
Or do you just
want to just like-
- Uh, I mean,
I mean, I - I
I wasn't hiding it per se.
Like, I like -
Did everything -
Authentically.
And I wasn't holding back.
- Yeah.
- The only thing that I didn't
do was just say the word.
- [Ryan] You know, I
wouldn't judge you.
- Look, I know that
you wouldn't judge me
99% of the time.
- 100% of the time.
- But like,
- That 1% just feels
too big of a risk.
I don't wanna
change our dynamic.
I don't want anything to
change in our friendship.
- It won't.
- But you don't know that.
- But I'm telling you now that
if you told me, I wouldn't
have judged you back then
and I wouldn't judge you now.
- Logically I really
understand that.
But it's just, it's really
hard to take in, man.
- I know.
And if I need to
remind you every day
that it won't change, I will.
- Can you not be so cheesy?
- God.
Hey Danny, how about
we just scrap the movie
and let's just get high?
- No.
- What do you mean?
- Let's finish the movie.
- No, you didn't-
- Finish the movie.
- Really?
- Yeah, it's our last weekend.
Officially.
- Okay.
But only if you promise
me we'll do it your way.
- Yeah. I'm down for that.
- We'll get high and let's just
forget about the meta
it's too confusing.
- Yes. (claps hands)
- What?
- Bye.
Bye.
Just get high.
- Are we good?
- Yeah, we're good.
- I know you don't
like hugs but...
Come on.
Hey.
Seriously though,
I love you, man.
- I love you too.
Um, hey.
- Hudson Yang?
- So you left me in there.
- How do you know his last name?
- "Fresh Off the Boat".
- Fish Sauce?
- No, we literally
just talked about this.
- [Danny] The one
that I didn't book.
- [Ryan] He's the, he's
literally the lead.
- He's our new neighbor.
- Hey Hudson, do you
want to be in our movie?
- Oh my God. Oh my God.
Thank you so much.
- Dude, don't be weird.
- What?
- It's been a while
since I've acted.
- It's for the marketing.
- Thanks, I didn't want to-
- Oh my god.
Just shut the f*ck up
about the marketing.
- Okay, sorry, sorry.
We're just having fun.
- Thank you.
Yeah.
I'm going to get
the trays and go.
Dad, I knew what they
were going to say yes.
- [Ryan] Going in for seconds.
So much to say, but I'm
too afraid to say it
All my life I've been
told I wouldn't make it
Don't deserve the
love and understanding
I've been so
desperately craving
He doesn't know
He couldn't know
The love I can't
seem to let go
How could I not see
this for all our lives
But here we are
We've come so far
We see each other as we are
We made a film and
we were f*cking high
(both grunting)
Why am I never the choice
I'm so normal that
I never will fit in
Why did we ever grow up
It was better when
we didn't give a sh*t
I won't let them tell
me that I'm not right
That I'm not fine
I'll take all that
I am deserving of
'Cause I'm
interesting enough
Extremely Unique
'Cause I'm
interesting enough
Dynamic
'Cause I'm
interesting enough
- What? I'm going
to beat you up.
- No, you won't.
- [Ryan] Yes I will.
- [Danny] No, you won't.
- Yes I will.
- You know, I'm a pro wrestler.
- [Danny] Yeah, but
you're older than me.
Then they're going
to be older soon.
And then I'm going
to be so young.
- [Ryan] I'm one
year older than you.
- [Danny] Yeah. Duh.
And when I'm, when
I'm 60 years old,
you're already 80
years old. Huh?
(laughing) You know your math?
I'll be bigger than that.
- No I can.
- Well, you're older than-
- Look, I rap. (beatboxing)
- No.
- [Mom] What do you
guys wanna be like
when you're 60 years old?
- 60.
- Hi, I'm Ryan.
- And I'm Kickass.
- What the...
Come on.
Let's give you a tour.
- Hey, you're ugly.
- You're ugly.
He's older than me.
- (laughing) You look
like a dummy, okay?
You have n*pples.
- When? When you are
75. I'm gonna be 20.
Ow, my eyes. What the-
Whoa. Look at this
unflattering angle.
- I hate you, you stupid b*tch.
You're ugly man. (laughing)
- [Ryan] No, you're ugly.
- Stop it.
- [Ryan] Oh my god.
- Nut punch.
- [Ryan] Oh, f*ck.
I'll kick your nuts.
This is go this (indistinct).
- [Danny] A couple years later.
Oh my.
- [Ryan] Hey Danny.
- What?
- [Ryan] How are you
feeling right now?
- I'm feeling angry.
- Are we gonna be
best friends forever?
- No.
Yeah. Seriously, no.
- Well, I'm gonna move to Canada
- And you're going to quit.
When you quit, I'm just
going to take your job
and be a famous
rapper and an actor.
- [Ryan] Rapper?
- [Danny] Yeah.
- [Ryan] Do you mean actor?
- [Danny] Rapper.
- [Ryan] Actor.
- [Danny] Rapper.
- [Ryan] Actor.
- [Danny] Rapper.
- [Ryan] Actor.
Alright, Danny, go
get some dumbbells.
- I can handle these ones.
- [Ryan] No, get these ones.
- [Danny] No, these are fine.
- Hear that?
What's up Harper?
We're going-
- I'm Harold.
- I'm Kumar.
- I'm a cowboy.
- I'm an alien.
- We're going to
White Castle now.
- $1 million.
- I object.
- [Both] Simba!
- We're going to
Guantanamo Bay now.
- Ammonium phiglocolate(??).
- Juliet, where are you?
To infinity and beyond. Wee.
- Romeo. Romeo. I'm supposed
to say, where art thou, man.
We're going to have a
Christmas special now.
What? Like, this is hard?
- [Ryan] Run Forest, run.
Extremely unique
Why did we ever grow up
It was better when
we didn't give a sh*t
Extremely unique
Extremely unique
I'll take all that
I deserving of
'Cause I'm
interesting enough
- It can be hard to
make sure you're in sync
on creative decisions.
- I am high right now. Yes.
You're gonna give up.
- I'm not going to give up.
- You are going to
sit down and give up.
- [Interviewer] Are you
mad at Danny right now?
- No. He knows exactly
what's going on
in this film and he is not high.
Are you looking?
Where are you looking?
- I'm looking at you.
- No you're not, here face me.
- I gotta cheat to camera.
Okay, I have no idea
what's going on right now
with all the characters.
I can't even keep up.
- As long as I understand
what's going on,
this whole movie
will make sense.
Why are you crying?
- I don't know.
- Are you in character?
I can't tell.
Yeah, I'm really excited
to make this movie
because actually making a movie
makes me feel like a filmmaker.
- I'm not.
- Ah, get away from me.
- Ha yeah!
- Ka-Me-ha-me-Ha!
- And I'm "Sailor Moon".
- But I want to play
"Dragon Ball Z".
- And personally, I
am sailor moon myself.
- I'm Goku though.
- Ah.
- Ah. No I am. (laughing)
- Wow, I can't believe you
edited that movie so quickly.
- I just didn't overthink it.
- Huh? I'm gonna miss you.
- I'm gonna miss you. I had
a lot of fun this weekend.
- Hey, who knows?
Maybe we'll get
into a big festival.
It'll kickstart our careers
and you'll have to move
back to L.A for a sequel.
- (laughing) You
ready to watch it?
- Mm-hmm.
- [Ryan] Hi. Welcome to my
"MTV Cribs", my name is Ryan-
- [Danny] And I'm Kaiju!
- [Ryan] No, you're Daniel.
- [Danny] No, I'm not Daniel.
- [Ryan] Help me.
- [Danny] I'm not.
- [Ryan] No you're not.
Kamehame-haaaa!!
Why are you smiling
man? Your dog just died.
- [Danny] That dog was
kind of useless though.
(both laughing)
- Hey man, we made a movie.
That's what count...
Stop rubbing me.
- We made a movie.
- We made a movie.
(Ryan laughing)
- [Crew member] Alright,
cut. Awesome guys.
- Who said that?
- That was-
- What the f*ck?
- Jesus.
- That was really awesome.
- That was really good.
- Great shot.
- [Ryan] Wait, what the f-
- [Danny] Smile.
- Wait, what the? Who?
Wait, who are you?
- [Crew memeber] Yeah.
- Good job Kyle.
- Oh my god.
Harrison, you were amazing.
- How long did you-
- [Danny] Good job.
Good job, man.
- How did you get in here?
- [Crew memeber] You guys,
you guys, this is-
- What is your name?
What the f*ck?
(all chattering)
- Your real name is Harrison.
- [Crew memeber]
Yeah. Good job Ivan.
That was great.
- Good job!
- [Harrison] Oh my God.
- Your hair looks great.
- Oh really?
- That was awesome. Yeah.
- Thank you.
- [Harrison] How f*cking
high am I right now, Ivan?
All right, awesome.
You got this.
- Let's go to Crafty.
Taco's in my stomach.
Feeling guilty, but I run it
Going to eat
something I munch it
See a scale
I run it, run it
Eating more
Grow a tit
Gaining weight just a bit
Seeing numbers
Won't admit
Wanna stop
I can't quit
Could go running, can't deny
How much rubbing
on my thighs
I see tacos with my eyes
Just a taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Oh my God, so much tacos
This, this, this, this
might be too much for me
This might be
too much for me
I just need to take a
seat and think think think
About my choices
Choices, choices, choices
How about a burger
No, I'm a taco
loving Asian guy
Tacos, all occasion guy
In a boat or in a flight
Eating tacos till I die
In the day or in the night
Breakfast, lunch
or dinner time
You already know, I'm
a taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Asian guy
Asian guy
Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
Asian guy
Asian guy
Asian guy
Taco loving Asian guy
- What?
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Extremely Unique Dynamic (2024)
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