01x06 - AlBrittina/Simon for President

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Watch out
'Cause here we come ♪

♪ It's been a while
But ♪

♪ We're back with style
So ♪

♪ Get set
To have some fun ♪

♪ We'll bring you action
And satisfaction ♪

♪ We're the Chipmunks ♪

♪ Alvin, Simon, Theodore ♪

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪

[school bell rings]

[BRITTANY]
Oh, h*, h*! This is so fun.

Okay...

Simon, if you were a tree,
what kind would you be?

Um, good, good question.
Probing, mm-hm.

Um, a Platanus occidentalis!

Oh, Simon, English.

Oh! Excuse me.

More commonly known
as a Sycamore.

[GIRLS]
Oh!

Hey, Hey!
What's going on, guys?

Well, using
a personality test,

Brittany is going to tell me
about my mystic mate.

Ah, yes.

The person you're
meant to be with

till the end
of time eternal!

[GIRLS]
Aw!

Simon, please.
Follow my finger.

What are you doing?

Oh, nothing, really.

Just, you know, making sure

you haven't lost your mind!

So much opinion

with so little knowledge.

This test, Alvin,

is actually based
on an old Jungian

and well-known psychic theory.

And, so you know, one million
readers swear by it.

Oh, please!

Let me show you just
how ridiculous this is.

Douglas Pine.
Yada, yada, yada.

Crimson and gold.
Blah, blah, blah.

Peach pit,
and I’m done!

[girlishly]
Oh, please tell me

who my mystic mate will be.

Hm, okay, okay.
Yes, yes. Ooh, ooh, ooh!

Your mystic mate
will be beautiful

and extremely famous.

Really?
Like movie-star famous?

Or model famous?
Or athlete famous?

Oh! Oh!

And she'll be a singer
in a girl band.

Oh, great!

We have so much in common!

Oh, wait!
There's more!

She loves the color pink,

and her name starts
with the letter...

B?

Uh, this
is sounding familiar.

[stuttering]
Could it be Brittany?

What?

Impossible, Simon.

You see, my mystic mate,
it says, it says,

is mischievous,
extremely cool,

part of a famous singing group,

and his name starts
with the letter...

A?

[Brittany & Alvin scream]

Don't sweat it, guys!

It's only till
the end of time eternal!

[ALVIN]
All right, obviously,

no one can know about this.

Alvin,
the whole school was there.

No! No!
It can't be!

I must've blocked that out.

Alvin, look what
everyone's saying.

It's all over the net.

"Alvin and Brittany,

together forever,
like pop and corn"

Oh...

"Alvin and Brittany,
the new salt and pepper"

Oh, what is with these...

"Alvin and Brittany,
the new Al-Brittina"

Who came up with that?

Okay, but the only one
I said was "pop and corn"!

Ha, ha.
Pretty good.

Oh! It can't be!
It can't be!

Me and Brittany...

mystic mates?

[♪♪♪]

Oh, wasn't
that sale fabulous?

[struggling]

Be a love and put
those truffles

right over there,
sweety-weety.

[grunting]

Dearest?
Who doesn't have a bon-bon?

[groans]

Mm!

Next time,
buy the light chocolate ones,

okay, hubby-dubby dearest.

Oh, and I have
a surprise for you!

You're going to a spiritual
retreat in the Himalayas?

[BRITTANY]
Ha, ha. No, no, silly!

You know I don't go anywhere

without my little
boo-boo bear!

Surprise!

[screaming]

I gotta do something!

[BRITTANY]
Oh, this is the biggest tragedy

to ever happen
to anyone...ever!

Yeah, I can think
of some bigger tragedies, Britt.

Yeah, you know...
the Titanic was pretty gnarly.

But life with Alvin...

Come on, Babe! Come on!

These were supposed to be
washed, pressed,

and folded
for my world tour.

Oh! I know.

I know, but I had to answer
all your fan mail.

Did you, um,
happen to consider my idea

for a, uh, duet?

Yeah, and you know what?

We're not gonna duet.

Get it? "Do-it"!

Uh, anyway, Hon,

there can't be two superstars
in this family!

But what about m-m-me?

"M-Me"? Ha!
Never heard of her.

[sobs]
Oh, I'm doomed.

[♪♪♪]

Alvin!

Come on down
and eat your breakfast.

[ALVIN] [english accent]
On my way, Papa!

[in unison]
"Papa"?

[ALVIN]
Doesn't everyone look bright-eyed

and bushy tailed?

Alvin?

Good morning, Papa.

A splendid day, is it not?

Why are you talking funny?

And wearing that bow tie?

Yes! Yes!

'Twas time for a change.

I'd simply love a spot of tea.

And does this change have
anything to do with Brittany?

How very astute of you,
dear brother.

Did he just use
the word "astute"?

Indeed I did, David, dear.

I reasoned that if
I changed how I behaved

and how I--

--looked,
then Alvin and I

would no longer be
mystic mates.

Get it?
The curse would be broken.

[smacking lips]

Huh? Are you wearing that?
Out?

Hold on.

It's gonna be
a punkalicious ride!

[guitar riff plays]

Top of the morning,
professor Purkins.

Loved the math homework.

History is so...
historical.

Let's chat physics
over a latte, shall we?

Ha, ha. Cool look, creepo.

Slay any bats lately?

Ha, ha, ha.
That's funny.

And you're really rockin'
that bow tie, old man.

[♪♪♪]

Is this poisoned?

Ha-ha-ha.
My dear Miss Smith,

what a playful mind
you have.

Yeah, it's poisoned.

[record scratch]

[♪♪♪]

[slurping]

Brittany? You're late.

Three whole minutes,
Miss Smith. Three!

So?

What are you gonna
do about it?

I doubt the principal
would appreciate your tone.

[sarcastic]
Ooh! I'm so scared.

[students gasp]

What do you have to say
for yourself, Brittany?

[burps]

♪ Hey! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ I'm here, do you see me? ♪

♪ Can you see me?
Can you see me? ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ I'm looking right at you ♪

♪ Right at you
Right at you ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ I feel it coming on ♪

♪ It's coming strong
It's coming on ♪

♪ I'm here do you see me ♪

♪ Can you see me ♪

♪ Can you see me, see me ♪
♪ Hey! ♪

♪ I do it all for you ♪

♪ It all for you
It all for you ♪

♪ I wanna make you see ♪

♪ It's all for you
It's all for you ♪

♪ You know I want you more ♪

♪ I want you more ♪

♪ I need you more and more ♪

♪ I do it all for you ♪

♪ It all for you
It all for you ♪

Alvin, we need to talk.

Oh, dear David, relax.

I already know what
you're going to say.

A bee sees a flower.
She's pretty. The bee goes--

No, no, no. We need
to talk about this new you.

Is it about the bow tie,
perchance?

Alvin, come on. New clothes
don't make a new person.

Just want you to be happy
with who you are.

[normal voice]
Oh, spare me! I mean...

[english accent]
Indeed, indeed.

So wise, David.

[in unison]
We need to talk!

All right! All right!
Ladies first.

We miss the old Brittany!

Whoa! Did I really
just say that?

We want her back!

We want our old brother
back too!

It's disturbing
to see him study so much.

I know, guys.
If we miss them,

then maybe we can make
them miss themselves.

[video game beeping]

[door handle turning]

[door knocks]

[ALVIN]
Oh, please, enter! Enter!

I'm just doing
next month's homework.

Oh, no problem.
Just came for the video game.

[ALVIN]
Uh, why?

We're having
a garage sale downstairs,

and I figured since,
you know,

the new you doesn't play,
we'd sell it.

Well, it's childish,
I agree,

but perhaps my dear brothers
would like it.

Let me ask.
[window opens]

Hey! Theodore! Simon!

You guys want
Alvin's video game?

[THEODORE & SIMON]
Sell it!

Guess not.

[normal voice]
What?

[ALVIN]
Oh, no!

I'll take it.

[ALVIN]
Hold it right there, buster.

That's not for sale.

I've had this my whole life!

Oh, the times we've had.

[sobbing]
Oh, no.

Oh, look, precious.
Would you like this?

[BRITTANY]
Ok, precious.

Take your hands
off my sweater...now.

Come on, Alvin. You didn't
want this old stuff anyway,

and I figured
we'll use the money,

and we'll send you
to math camp.

Not for sale. Give it.

Give it back.
Give it back.

Don't touch that.

Jeanette, get my shoes back!

Theodore, grab my
remote-controlled plane!

Ha, ha.
Touch those...and you're toast!

Oh, goody, they're back.

I never want to see
another bow tie, ever.

Ha, let's be honest,
pink is so me.

Although, I'm not
horrible in black.

And what about breaking the
bonds of being mystic mates?

We'll just have
to make sure it never happens.

Right, Brittany?

Masters of our own destiny!

I mean, destinies.

Like, separate.

Um, has anyone seen
my new tennis racket?

Ha-ha-ha.
Oh, funny story there.

I traded it
to get my bike back.

[DAVE] [yelling]
Alvin!

[cars honking]

[MAN]
Come on, move it!

[WOMAN]
What's the hold up?

What's taking so long?

Bocarter Humphrey.

What? Who?

Bocarter Humphrey,
the class President.

He made an exclusive, roped-off,

red carpet drop-off spot
for himself

and his little pals.

It makes the rest
of us late!

Who is this kid?
Exactly!

If anyone should be
on the red carpet, it's me.

Alvin, come on.

The whole
red carpet thing

is disgusting
in the first place.

Maybe you should run
for class president.

No, thank you, Dave.
Way too much work.

Uh, pretty sure
he meant me.

And P.S., I was already
considering it.

[bell ringing]

Oh, and we're late.

My fellow students!

You know me as mild,
quiet, Simon Seville,

but today,
I come before you

as a rebel,
a liberator of freedom.

This blatant favoritism
and snobbery

must not be tolerated!

Therefore, I'm running
for class president!

Who's with me?

[crowd cheers]

Ha, oh, look,
I'm a VIP.

Oh, no!
Now, I'm not.

Now I am. Oh, no.

Not again.

Bocarter,
what's up, my man?

You don't want
to mess with me.

[bell rings]
So it's official!

You're signing
up for president!

But, um, how do
I say this,

I think if we put you
in the right clothes,

you could totally
win this thing.

No, I think this look's
been working for me.

Uh, has it?

Hello, kiddies.

Don't tell me.

You got sent to
the Principal's office again?

Funny, Simon,
but no.

I'm signing up
for class president.

[laughing]
[laughing]

Wait,
you're serious?

You just told Dave
it was too much work.

Not if I give
the work to someone else.

Oh, Theodore, bring me
my campaign material.

On the double.

Unh, coming,
Mr. President.

Ha, ha, bam!

Already presidential.

Here, have a button.

Alvin, please don't run.

I'm actually trying
to do some good,

and you just
want the glory.

And the gift bag.

There are no gift bags.

Sorry, Si.
My mind's made up.

But I do have a little
presidential advice.

Resign now and save
yourself the humiliation.

Ha, oh. Never.

And above all else,
my friends,

I tell you, I believe
our elected officials

are here to serve
the people.

Ew, snooze-fest.
You're losing them, Simon.

Jazz it up.

Jazz it up. How?

Wahoo!

That's how.

Listen up, guys.

Anyone who votes for me

will be automatically invited

to the best pool parties
ever, on the regular.

[all cheering]

Dave won't let you
throw pool parties.

Dave won't know because
I'm gonna do it when he's gone.

Thank you!
Thank you!

Please,
buttons for everyone.

Teddy boy.

Alvin for president.

Alvin for president.

Hey,
when's the pool party?

Uh, pool?

What are you
talking about?

All right,
run along, run along.

Hit it, Dave,
keep the car moving.

Out of the way. Clear a path.
Out of the way.

See, I've got them eating
out of the palm of my hand.

Like little
baby pigeons

following me
wherever I go.

This is how
you want to play?

Already playing.

[♪♪♪]

[Simon gasps]

I can't believe Alvin
would stoop this low.

You can't?

Fine, I can play
this game too.

Ha, ha, I love it,
I love it, ha, ha!

Does he look
silly or what?

Clearly you can't
play this game.

Give me the marker.

[♪♪♪]

♪ To those concerned
It's my turn to represent ya ♪

♪ I put my name in the hat
It's my duty to enter ♪

♪ I'm so much better
So much more clever ♪

♪ However
You'll never beat me ♪

♪ No, no
Not ever ever ♪

♪ To run against me
Is an error ♪

♪ I'm gonna win it
This is my presidential era ♪

♪ I'm representing
The voters know me ♪

♪ They're depending on
My leadership ♪

♪ It doesn't matter
The opponent ♪

♪ Certified bona fide
Winner ♪

♪ Not like the other guy
Chicken pie dinner ♪

♪ I got the days
And I waste no time ♪

♪ I make things safe
And erase all crime ♪

♪ I live for the people
All across this land ♪

♪ Care for every woman
Every child, every man ♪

♪ I think it's evident
Presidents my calling ♪

♪ I will represent
They will all be calling ♪

♪ Limousines
And bodyguards ♪

Oh, we are in luck, Brittany!

We've got
a live one.

So where's
the pool party?

Backyard.

Oh, this is awkward,

but smart ideas are
no match for dumb fun.

Brittany, wait!

[BRITTANY]
I'll be in the pool if you need me.

Aah! Brittany!

[BRITTANY]
Oh, no! I can't hear you. Sorry.

[♪♪♪]

No running.
I repeat, no running!

Oh, no.

[whistle blowing]

It's Dave!

Oh, no!

[splash]
Everybody out!

Shark is in the water!
[girls screaming]

I repeat,
shark is in the water!

Hey, hey, no running!
No running!

Oh, man!

Get the ducky,
the floaty, the beach ball!

Where to hide them?

[panting]

Hey, Alvin.
Aah!

Oh, Davie Boy.

Look at you moving
in all stealthy.

How you doing, Dave-a-rino?
The Dave-ster.

I don't even know
what you did, um,

but wash up 'cause
dinner's in an hour.

[♪♪♪]

Uh, can someone
pass the pepper?

Ha, oh, like you passed
on your morals?

Oh, it sounds like someone's
afraid of losing.

Oh! You're such
a phony, Alvin.

[Alvin & Simon yelling]

Okay, quiet!

All righty, um,
what'd you guys do today?

Oh, you know, spent all day

getting pictures of my face
out of the urinals!

[phone ringing]

I'll get it!

Ah, the phone's been
ringing all day.

[ALVIN]
H-hello?

[BOY] [on phone]
I left my snorkel.

You left your snorkel
in the pool?

How is this my problem?
I want it back.

All right, all right.
Just bring it to school.

I will bring you
your snorkel tomorrow.

Ha, wrong number.

[ringing]

All right,
that's enough.

Don't answer it!
Who is this?

[GIRL] I was at the pool party--
Dave, it's just a wrong number.

Hang up!
Pool party?

What? No, what?
No, who's saying that?

I don't know where
your hat is,

but there was
no pool party.

[ringing]
Again?

[MRS. BEEMAN]
This is Mrs. Beeman.

Oh, hello, Mrs. Beeman.
What?

Dave, hang up the phone!

A shark? Alvin!

Believe it or not,
I've come to help you

with your punishment chores.

We are brothers,
after all.

Thanks. Dave made me drop
out of the race.

I'm really sorry, Simon.

I should never have
listened to Bocarter.

Oh, that's okay. What?

Did I say Bo--

No. Bo nothing!

Oh!
Oh, no, you don't!

What did Bocarter
tell you to do?

Okay, okay!
Bo asked me to run!

Why?

Because, it was taking
votes away from you.

Why would you do that?

Well, because he
said if he won,

he'd do all
the work and um...

share the perks with me.

The perks?

Yeah, you know, like
the gift bag.

Unh! There is no gift bag!

You don't know that.

You don't even
care about that stuff.

You just care about everyone
being treated equally

and better books
and all that dumb stuff!

That miserable gift bag
tore us apart.

Unh! I'm sorry, Simon.

It doesn't matter now.

I don't have a chance.

Oh, yes you do!

Trust me.
We can do this!

[march music playing]

Hey. Hey, everyone.
Listen up. Listen up.

I, Alvin Seville,
am dropping out of the election.

By choice, mind you,

and not because
my dad is making me.

Because he's not.

Um, it's just that I realized

that the best candidate
is already running.

Simon Seville!

[all cheering]

It doesn't matter
what you do.

Oh, yeah? Let's vote!

[crowd cheering]

Where's Theodore?

I put him in charge
of one last thing, Simon.

Or should I say,
Mr. President?

Thanks, guys.
This is great!

Simon Seville,
734 votes.

Bocarter Humphrey,
2004 votes.

[ALL] [in unison]
What?

Thank you! Thank you!
Wait!

He-- He cheated!

Nice work,
Theodore.

What I have here,
ladies and gentleman,

is proof positive

that Mr. Bocarter
Humphrey cheated!

[crowd boos]

Okay. This is a video
of you dancing in a speedo.

Oh, that shouldn't be there.

That was a "Single
Ladies" spoof I did.

Very popular though
on the Internet. Here.

[♪♪♪]

Oh, my. Mr. Humphrey!

Get to the principal's
office immediately!

You are done, Seville.

No, you're done.

Oh, that's so lame.

Wait, wait, redo, redo.

I can think of
a better comeback! You're--

Alvin, let it go.

Your gift bag,
Mr. President.

I knew it!

Mr. President,
as your chief advisor,

I do have a couple
of favors to ask.

Alvin, I can't
give favoritism.

That was
my whole platform.

That can't apply
to family members.

Especially
not for family.

Cool, cool.
Totally respect that.

But just two words.
Extended lunch.

One word. No.

What about
the gift bag?

You gotta give me
the gift bag.

[SIMON]
Yes, Alvin.

You can have
the gift bag.

[ALVIN]
Oh, I'm getting the gift bag!

I don't have even have to
do anything for it.

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪