01x07 - To Serve and Protect/Kicking It Old School

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

♪ Watch out
’Cause here we come ♪

♪ It’s been awhile
But we’re back in style ♪

♪ So get set to have some fun ♪

♪ We’ll bring you action
And satisfaction ♪

♪ We’re the Chipmunks ♪

♪ Alvin, Simon, Theodore ♪

♪ Doo, doo
Do-do-do-doo ♪

♪ Doo, doo, do-do-do-doo ♪♪

"As the school’s
Safety Supervisor,

"your duty is to report
any misconduct at school.

"For you are the eyes and ears
of the teachers

when they cannot be present."

[DAVE]
Simon, come on, get down here!

We're gonna pick
our vacation spot.

Coming!

Guys! Guys!
Did you hear?

I'm the new
Safety Supervisor.

Yeah, like a thousand times!

Now, come on, let's do this.

Hold on, hold on a second.

What's involved, Simon?

Well, well, for example,
if a kid were

to loiter in the halls,
I would issue a citation.

If someone
were to litter--

Oh! Wait!

You would issue a citation?
Exactly!

Basically, Simon's
the school snitch.

It's a super cool job.

Now, please,
I'm begging you!

Where are the straws?

Alvin, hold on.

Now, before we see who’s dream
vacation we take this year,

let's go over the rules.

Oh, not more rules!

Rule number one.

The week
before our trip,

we must do
all our chores

and be extra kind
to one another.

Oof!

If we have problems,

we work them out ourselves.

No coming to you.

Alvin?

[groans]

If any one of us gets in trouble

that week, the trip is off.

Excellent. Theodore,
why don’t you go first.

Dave, Dave? Let’s avoid
all the unnecessary expectation

and false hopes
for Simon and Theodore.

I mean, I've won the last three.

I'm gonna win again.

Yeah, what's the use?

Alvin always wins.

Don't let him
psyche you out, Theodore.

You've got just as good
a chance as he does.

Oh. Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah, you know, if that’s
the one you’re feeling.

Uh& I don't wanna go first.

Oh, well then,
step aside.

Oh, great straw in the sky,

guide my victory,

into my eye.

And then they'll just go
to wherever I want them to.

Ugh! Alvin,
just grab a straw.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

Oh, yes!

Well, boys, as you can see,
no need to pick.

Go ahead, Theodore.

Ah, nuts.

Oh, no.

We won't be going
to the Teddy Bear Factory.

Cut it out, Alvin.

Simon?

Looks like you win, Simon.

Wait, wait. What?

I thought it was the middle
straw that always won.

You know, the Goldilocks rule.
Not too tall, not too short.

Come on, Alvin, we all know
it’s the long straw that wins.

Since when?
Since when?

Since the Hammurabiays of Hammurapi
and the ancient pyramids!

So Simon,
where do you want to go?

Oh, easy, Dave.

I've been waiting
to pick this straw forever.

The Smithsonian Museum.

It's like 10 museums in one.

I can't go there!

My knees get tired.

As soon as
I step into that place,

my head starts
wobbling from exhaustion.

I-I can't do it.
I can’t!

Simon, I am begging you!

Please, pick another place!

Please! Please!

I'm sorry, Alvin,
but I’ve tolerated

all your choices
the last three years

and I've been dying
to go the Smithsonian.

If you could just keep
an open mind, you--

Ahh! I just tried to open
my mind and it’s so painful!

Ah! My mind is hurting!

Make it stop!

You stop!

We are going
to the Smithsonian!

Oh, not if I can help it.

[class bell rings]

Um, e-excuse me!

Your citation.

Here you go.

Miss Smith!
Uh, Miss Smith!

Uh! My stomach is, uh,
freaking out!

I have to go to the bathroom!

Well then, go. Go!

Alvin?
What are you doing?

Nothing, really, just
relaxing, reading a comic book.

Some may call it loitering.

Well, you have
to go back to class.

Or do I?

What do you mean, Alvin?

I'm gonna write you
a citation if you don't.

Heh. Or are you?

You see, Simon,

if I get detention,

then we don’t go
to the Smithsonian,

which would just...

break my heart.

[stammering]

Why, you single-cell amoeba!

You-you Gumby snipe!

Yeah, yeah, don’t really know
what any of that means,

so I'm taking it
as a compliment.

It means you're scum!

Uh, I can live
with that.

What I can’t live with

is going to a museum
on our vacation!

Simon,
you pick another place,

and I’m back in class
like a two cell mabeeza!

Amoeba!

And if you think
I’m going to compromise

my integrity or the rules,

you are sorely mistaken,
my friend!

I can't do it!
I can’t do it!

All right,
wait a second, Simon.

Get your priorities straight!

Give him the citation!

No, no.
Don’t-don’t-don’t be rash.

Wait now! You must!

Heh, why don’t
I give the two of you

a little alone time
so you can work this out.

[class bell rings]

I can’t believe that
he calls himself a brother.

I don’t know
what I’m gonna&

[groans]

Is your brother okay?

He was in the bathroom
for most of the class.

I ask you because
I wouldn’t trust Alvin

as far as I can throw him.

Which is quite a distance.

I was a javelin thrower
in college.

I'm sure you didn't know that.

I almost made the Olympics.

Oh, well, yeah. Well, that is
very, very impressive.

So long.

Wait, Simon!

You didn't answer my question.

Hey, guys,
dinner’s in an hour!

Oof!

Oh, no!
Oh, Alvin, are you okay?

[grunts]

Oh, no.

The ball just slipped
out of my hands.

Sorry, Simon.
Let me help you up.

Sorry, Alvin.

Guess I don't know
my own strength.

Let me help you up!

No. No.

Let-- Let me help...

ugh... you up.

You're too kind!

You guys okay?

Oh, we're good, Dave.

Really, really good.

Oh, not again.

My stomach, Miss Smith!

Well then, go to the bathroom.

It's not like
you're paying attention anyway.

Hey! Hey!
Hey! C’mon!

You guys know
better than that!

There's no playing jacks
in the hall!

Can’t give us a ticket,

if you don't give
your brother a ticket.

Okay, well, don't play long.

♪ Dark the night ♪

♪ Cold and stark the night ♪

♪ Cloud covered sky ♪

♪ He’s creeping by
In disguise ♪

♪ All black but for his eyes ♪

♪ He owns the dark ♪

♪ And you’re his mark ♪

♪ When evil comes
A just call the munk ♪

♪ He’s the munk of steel ♪

♪ His fury real ♪

♪ You can see
In the black of his-- ♪

No. Oh, no.
I forgot.

Dave wants all our stuff
put away before we go to bed.

But, oh,
I'm just too darn tired.

Anyway, good night, Simon.

[screams]

Hello, Simon.

I-I was just curious.

Do you see
any infractions taking place?

[rocket whistles]

No, no, no.

Everything seems to be going,
you know, very smoothly.

But-but just in case,

I have got my citation book
at the ready...

should anyone
step out of line!

Alvin still in the bathroom?

Well, um,
unfortunately, yes.

Hey, hey, Simon!

Hey. Hey.

Take off your hat!

Look at this.
You’re losing your hair

from all the stress
and lying.

That's, um, just
a couple-couple of little hairs.

I’m sorry, but I don’t trust you
as far as I can throw you,

which you know
is quite a distance.

Ah! Oof!

[class bell rings]
Hello, Alvin.

Oh, no,
you caught me!

Are you gonna give me
a citation?

No, I'm not.
I turned in my badge.

I'm not fit to wear it.

And when I tell Dave
we’ve been fighting,

I'm sure the trip
will be off as well.

So, you win.

Wait, wait, Simon!

But you always wanted to be
the Safety Super...visor...

And the trip...

Oh. I’ve gotta fix this.

Simon! Simon!

I-I know you hate me,

but-but close your eyes!

Absolutely not!

C'mon, just do it.

Yeah, just do it, Simon.

You, my brother Simon,

deserve this badge more than,
well, anyone I know.

What?

And that's not all!

I told Dave everything.

Well, not everything.

But-but you're still going
to the Smithsonian!

Heh, and here's the best part,
I don't have to go!

It's a punishment,
Alvin!

I mean,
I don’t get to go.

Alvin's going to stay
with someone while we're gone.

What is this?

Mashed zucchini.

Heh, is this all I get
to eat for four days?

Well, we don't want to upset
your sensitive tummy.

Oh, look at this.

It says the Smithsonian
is having a special exhibit

on the history of surfboards.

Wh-what?

Hm, someone named Kelly Slater

will be there to demonstrate.

You're joking, right?

Do I look like a kidder?

Please, Mrs. Smith, please!

Tell me
you're messing with me!

I ain't messing with you,
read it yourself!

No-oooo!

[♪♪♪]

Oh. The car's gonna be here
any minute.

I think I've-- Oh. Okay.

Here, bags, sunscreen,
sunglasses, hat. Yeah, okay.

Oh, gosh. The itinerary.

[video game beeping]

Move over, pal.

You've been hogging the video
game for the last hour.

It's my turn
to kick some zombie butt.

Get away from me, Alvin.

I've earned these extra
video game hours

by doing extra chores.

Hand over the controller,
stat.

I don't want to fart on you
again, but I will if I have to.

Alvin. No, no. B-Be reasonable.

Okay. No one's gonna be
farting on anyone!

You should be packed
and ready to go.

Oh. How do you open this thing?

[crackling]

Oh, great.

Simon!

My computer
just ate our itinerary!

Uh, Simon?

H-He went outside.

But I-I can help.

Oh, thanks, Theodore,

but i-it's very,
very complicated.

Wait-- Wait a min--
H-How'd you do that?

Ah, i-it's pretty basic, Dave.

We learned that
in nursery school.

Ah, nursery?

Oh.
There, there, Dave.

It's okay.
[horn honking]

Oh, the car's here already?

Guys, listen to this.

Enjoy a weekend retreat
in the great outdoors.

Nestled in a first growth forest

only a 10-minute canoe ride
into town--

And I'm bored.
Alvin, please.

It's about time we spent
a little quality time together

without any distractions.

What? Huh? Um, oh, yeah.
Uh, cool.

Cool, cool, Dave.
Now shh, shh.

So much for that.

[♪♪♪]

Oh, no, no. Bad zone.

Uh. My game shut down.

Huh. Mine too.
Aw, drat.

Oh, guys.
Take a look out the window.

Now, that's just beautiful.
[ALVIN] Eww.

Theodore just wiped his booger
on the seat.

I did not. I ate it.

[farting]
[SIMON] Alvin,

did you just squeak one out?

No, Theodore did.
Nuh-uh.

If you are going to
pass noxious fumes,

do it out the window.

[farting]
Now that's just rude.

Hey, you just stepped
on my crackers.

[all arguing indistinctly]

Guys, come on.
Calm down a little bit.

[♪♪♪]

Oh, look. We're here.

What?

No. This is impossible.

[♪♪♪]

No, no. No cell service,
no electricity.

How are we supposed to charge
our phone and our games?

All we'll have is each other!

No!

Wait. Wait. Come back!

No!

We've gotta get out
of this place!

Maybe I can still
get cell service.

Alvin, anything?

Any service up there?

Not a thing.

Maybe if I go out
a little further.

No, Alvin! It's dangerous.

It's worth it. Reach!

Alvin, I want you down from
there this minute.

[BOTH] Oh.
Come on, guys.

You can exist without your
technology for a few days.

No, we can't.

You know what, guys?
Let's give it a chance.

I'm gonna take a walk into town
and get a schedule

of all the activities
around here.

Oh, this may not be that bad,
guys.

The brochure says we're
10 minutes from a carnival,

a water park, golf and such,
and canoeing.

Oh.
Now we're talkin'.

I can't take the quiet anymore.

How long has Dave been gone?

Exactly 14 seconds.

Oh, hang in there.

Oh, it won't be long.

Carnival, waterpark...

Oh, thank goodness.
You're back.

What are we
workin' with here?

What's the game plan?
Uh, well...

I vote for golf and such.
Well, apparently,

everything's been shut down
for a while. And--

And what?
It's a ghost town.

You brought us to a town
full of ghosts?

Ugh, no, Theodore.

What Dave is saying is...

Is we're stuck here
with nothing to do.

Is that clear? Nothing.

We're gonna die of boredom.

I'm already bored.

Me too.
So am I.

Oh. Come on, guys.
Now, hold on.

What happened to good
old fashion make believe?

You know, play?

Well,
I wanted to play super heroes,

but no one
will play with me.

That's not very nice, guys.

Sorry I'm not sorry.
Come on, Alvin.

Let's show these guys
the beauty of imagination.

Go for it.

Gotcha!

Ow! You can't bite me.

Well, you can't sneak up on me.
I'm invisible.

Well, how do I get you?

Not my problem.

Ha, ha. I know.

I can sense you.

Then I can grab you.

Oh, you wish.
You can't grab me.

I've got stretchable,

rubber-like arms
that can keep you away.

No, you don't.
Yes, I do.

It's just because
no one's ever seen them.

Ever.

And why you ask?
Because they're invisible.

Is this how all his games are?

Yep. But Dave, use the beauty
of your imagination

and pretend you're having fun.

Oh.

[groaning]
[ALVIN] Trust me, David.

It doesn't work!

Maybe I can get a little higher.

Forget it, Dave. We're stranded!

No! No!
[branch snaps]

[yells]

[crashing]

[♪♪♪]

Hey, I know.

Why don't I try
telling a scary story?

Yeah, okay.
Sure.

Okay, so, uh, let's see...

It starts a long time ago
when I was a young lad.

Ooh, scary.

I'm on the edge
of my log.

Anyway, I lived in this house
that was definitely haunted.

[ALL]
Yeah?

Oh. Pretty scary, huh?

What? You're kidding?

That's it?
Oh, boy.

I'm gonna go to bed.

Night, Dave.
I don't know if I can sleep

after that bone-chilling
horror story.

I can't believe we have another
boring day tomorrow.

This was just
the worst idea ever.

I don't even know
what I was thinking.

Ah! No. Ah, ah!

Okay, guys. Let's go.

Up, up, up.
We're going on a hike.

No. No. Go away.

Oh. You know, I used to
camp out all the time.

Did I ever tell you guys
when I was an Eagle Scout?

I learned such cool stuff.
[yawns]

Awesome story,
Dave.

It was so funny.
When I was about 5,

Pap-Pap showed me how to tie
these ropes together, and we'd--

Oh, that darn Pap-Pap.

He sounds like a riot.

Oh. How much longer?

[chipmunks snoring]

Wake up, guys. Look.

[CHIPMUNKS]
Wow.

[ALVIN]
Ah, it's beautiful.

But I can see this
on my computer screen.

So should we head down?

Just a minute, guys.

What's that for?

♪ Open up your eyes ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ To the trees and the clouds
To the real life ♪

♪ Where the air is light ♪
♪ Ah ♪

♪ And the breeze kissed
Your cheeks in the moonlight ♪

♪ Got to get away
Got to get away ♪

♪ In my dreams I see
A better place ♪

♪ Got to get away
Got to get away ♪

♪ Even for a day ♪

♪ Pack your cares away
For another day ♪

♪ All we gotta do is nothin'
We're vacationing ♪

♪ Perfect summer night
Stars light up the sky ♪

♪ All we gotta do is nothin'
We're vacationing ♪

♪ Oh-oh, na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪ Oh-oh, na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪ Oh-oh, na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪ Oh-oh, na-na-na-na-na ♪

You know, guys,
I just want to end the vacation

with one last story.

[CHIPMUNKS]
Oh, no.

Dave, I don't know
how to say this,

but you're a terrible
storyteller.

Come on, guys,
give this one a chance.

So like I said, the house
I grew up in was haunted.

What I didn't say
was that it was by the forest

and in that forest
lived an old angry man

who fell asleep in the forest

and became Leaf Man.

[coughing]
Lame.

Thank you, Alvin,
but it's not lame.

It's pretty lame, Dave.

Hear that from Pap-Pap,
did ya?

[Theodore gasps]

What was that?

Oh,
I better go check that out.

You guys stay here.

[man grunting]

[growls]
[chipmunks screaming]

[chuckles]

Sorry, Alvin.

You were saying something about
Leaf Man being lame?

That was not funny.

Now, I'm gonna be thinking
about Leaf Man all night.

Sorry, Theodore.

But come on,
it's a beautiful evening

and tonight we'll all
sleep outside together.

Whoa.
Look at that star.

Actually, Alvin, that's a--
Oh, wait, guys, a shouting star.

Make a wish.

[DAVE]
Hey, Rick!

Well, that was a pretty
great time, guys, huh?

It kills me
to say this,

but I can't believe
how much fun I had.

I feel like--
[beeps]

Huh? Whoa.

Oh, that was quick.

[ALVIN]
Oh. First call on the video games!

[SIMON] No. No. No.
It was still my turn when we left.

[THEODORE]
Well, I never got a chance.

Simon,
my computer's broken again!

Dave, how would you like me
to give you computer lessons?

Oh. I'd love that, Simon.

So are you guys just playing
video games?

Well, not exactly.

Why don't you come out and see?

[♪♪♪]

Wow, guys. This is great.

Thanks, Dave.

We wanted to stay in touch
with nature a little more often.

[ALVIN]
Yes, but not that often.

I need to get to level 80
by tomorrow.

Fair enough.
Hey, I know.

Shall I tell a story?

[ALL]
No, no, no.

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪