01x20 - Kiss Conspiracy/House Guest

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Watch out
'Cause here we come ♪

♪ It's been a while
But ♪

♪ We're back with style
So ♪

♪ Get set
To have some fun ♪

♪ We'll bring you action
And satisfaction ♪

♪ We're the Chipmunks ♪

♪ Alvin, Simon, Theodore ♪

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪

[♪♪♪]

Heh heh. Here's where
awesome talent

meets an incredible challenge.

Wish me luck, Theodore.

No. No. Don't do it!

Oh, there, there now, Theodore.
It's my calling. My destiny.

[♪♪♪]

[grunts]
Simon!

Whoa!
[skateboard bangs]

Was that crash
part of your destiny too?

Well, no--
No, it wasn't.

What's up with Simon?

I don't know but...

he, he looked upset.

[to himself]
Thank you, everyone, so much,

I really, um, it's so
flattering, but it's just not--

I can't really,
there's no--

I-I've gotta resign.

Hello! Remember us?

The guy you just made fall
and lose his destiny?

Oh. I've been looking for you.
Where have you been?

We were waiting for you
to get out of drama class.

Oh, just forget it!

Why don't you just tell us why
you're so upset!

Upset? Up-up-upset?

I-I'm not upset.

He's upset.
He's upset.

You know, it's not good
to hold in your feelings.

N-Nothing is wrong!

Should we?
Yup.

Flying tickle attack!

Tickle fight!
[screams]

[laughing]
No! Not that!

Then, you're gonna
have to tell us!

All right! All right!

I just learned

that...I...have to--

[groans]

--kiss my co-star in the play.

[laughing]

A kiss? That upsets you?

Pal, that's not a problem,

it's a gift!

I-I just know I'm going
to ruin the kiss,

and then forget my lines and

everyone is
going to laugh at me.

And, I've gotta quit the play.

[door opens]

Hellooo.

Hi!

[sighing] You're not gonna
leave me alone, are you?

Nope.
Nope.

So, what do you
have to say?

Heh, heh, well,
you are in luck my friend.

Because, you have me
as a brother.

You call that luck?

Yes I do. Because you are
talking to a kissing maestro.

All you have to do is
put your lips together and...

Smack!

It's that easy.

[air kissing]

Simon, it's a two step process!

Observe!

Pucker and smack.

Pucker and smack.

[air kissing]

Okay, you, uh,
wanna fill us in?

Or do we just assume you're
completely out of your mind?

Oh, ha, ha, ha. Oh, aren't you
just so-so darn funny.

Well, if you must know,
I'm giving Simon kissing lessons

because he's afraid to kiss
his co-star in the school play.

Alvin, no one
was supposed to know.

Simon, if you're kissing
a horse, you ask a horse.

If you're
kissing a girl--

Well, Alvin's not
the one to ask.

It's very simple.
Just go like this!

[air kissing]

It's press lips and smooch!

Press and smooch!

No, no! Simon!
Don't listen to her!

It's pucker and smack!

[both air kissing]

Aah!
Aah!

[birds chirping]

I appreciate your help,
Alvin, but it's hopeless.

I'll have to
quit the play.

No. No, Simon.
We Seville's never quit!

Now, show me the girl
you're supposed to kiss.

[groans]

Jessie Sobel
is-is your co-star?

Yeah, you know her?

Know her? I've been wanting to
meet her for, like, 10 years!

Alvin, we've only been
in school for two years.

Well, excuse me Mr. Mathematics,

when I was struck by Cupid's
arrow, I forgot to count!

[giddily] Oh, she's amazing.
She's beautiful, smart, funny.

Sh-She even skateboards.
Sh-She mountain climbs--

[dreamily]
She's super girl...

[♪♪♪]

Oh, Jessie.

[SIMON]
Alvin, Alvin... Earth to Alvin.

Are you done, yet?

[bell tings]
Simon, what if I told you

I know a way for you
not to kiss Jessie

and keep your part in the play.

Well, y-yes,
I-I'm interested,

but frightened
at the same time.

It's really ingenious
and yet simple.

We'll switch places
at the key, kissable moment.

I will be your pucker partner,

your secret stand-in.

No one will ever know!

Alvin, that's deceitful,

dishonest, disingenuous--

N-Not to mention devious.

Uh huh, Yeah,
I guess, yeah.

So, is that a yes?

[reluctantly]
All right.

[audience applauding]

Our-Our scene is coming up.

[stammering]
Yes. Well, uh, well--

Already? Well, yes, sure--

Here's a breath mint.

Thank you.

Jessica, you are on!

[audience applauds]

[giddily] Oh, Operation Kiss-Off
is a go!

Simon, you're up.

I may not come back,
Genevieve,

so I shall leave you
with this...

[squeaky kiss]

[audience swoons, applauds]

Alvin, that was amazing.

A plan of yours
that actually worked!

Simon. Simon,
quiet, quiet, please.

I'm still reliving
the moment.

[gushing]
Ohh...

[alarm rings]

[GIRLS] [swooning]
Hi, Simon.

[girls giggling]

Um, um, hello.
Hi-Hi, girls.

Hi, Simon.

Hm, what's up with them?

How weird is that?

[gushing] Oh, Simon, you were...
awesome last night.

I, uh-- I was?

Oh, I'll never forget that kiss.

It was so...

Heartfelt?

[sighing]
Yeah. Heartfelt.

Isn't that fascinating?

I'm, um, having a party,

would you like to be my date?

Eh, well--
Yes. Yes.

Well, Jessie, um,
he'll get back to you on that.

Excuse us please.

You thief!

You double-crosser!

You stabbed your
pucker partner in the back?

What did I do?

Oh, what did I do?

Mr. Innocent,
I have no idea?

Oh, not much,

You just stole my reputation,
that's all!

Now, all the girls think
you're Mister Romantic!

The Smooch Meister!

All because of my kiss!

Alvin! It was your idea!

Whatever!
R-Relax, Alvin.

No one is going to remember
that kiss after second period.

♪ Ahh ooh ♪

♪ Something in the way
He moves ♪

♪ Something in the way
He grooves ♪

♪ Something in the way he ♪

♪ Makes me feel so crazy ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ And he got style too ♪

♪ From his hat to his shoes ♪

♪ Irresistible he's smooth
With all the ladies ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ My heart is pounding ♪

♪ My pulse is racing ♪

♪ I'm going crazy ♪

♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ He is a heartthrob ♪

♪ Heartthrob ♪

♪ He makes my heart throb ♪

♪ Like
bump bump bump ba bump bump ♪

♪ He is a heartthrob ♪

♪ Heartthrob ♪

♪ He makes my heart throb ♪

♪ Like
bump bump bump ba bump bump ♪

Psst. Simon!
In here.

[girls screaming]

[whispering]
Coast is clear.

I-I can't live like this!

[mockingly]
Aw, I can't live like this!

[serious]
You can't live like this?

Imagine how I feel!

Oh, believe me,

I don't like it
any more than you do.

[sighing]
So, what do we do?

I know!
We'll tell the truth.

W-Wait a minute.
That works?

Woohoo, Simon!
We love Simon!

Girls, g-girls.
Settle down.

Um, I really appreciate
your, um, enthusiasm.

But th-there's something
I-I really m-must tell you all.

Um, it-it wasn't me
wh-who kissed Jessie on stage.

Then who was it?

I-It was Alvin.

[GIRLS] [in unison]
Whaaat?

Well, yes. I know,
it's a shock,

but we decided
that we should--

Huh, giving
Alvin credit?

Oh, you're so
adorable Simon.

[girls laughing]

Mm hm.
Yeah, truth, huh?

Uh, w-well, uh...

Hey, Alvin, wanna play?

Hi Simon.
What's wrong with Alvin?

Oh, i-it's complicated,
Theodore.

Is it about
Alvin kissing Jessie,

but everyone thinking
it was you?

Alright, not so complicated.

I-I know this is hard on you,
Al-Alvin, but--

Oh, spare me the sympathy!

I know you're
enjoying the attention!

Just admit it!

No. No. I'm not.

D-Don't you see I want a girl
to respect me for my mind

and not for some false,
projected idea

of heroic romanticism.

You lost me at
blah, blah-blah-blah.

Alvin, look,
before I have a girlfriend,

my dream is to answer
some of the pressing questions

in abstract algebra,
especially in loop theory

and quasigroup theory.

[chuckling]
Simon. Simon.

If you can figure out
that quasi-moto,

group therapy
gigga-ma-booble,

surely you can figure out
how to turn yourself back

into a nerd and me
back into Mr. Desirable.

Believe me, I'm trying.

[Simon moaning]

[gasps]

Alvin! I have an idea.

Wake up. Wake up!

Wow. Now you're waking me up.

That's the old switcharoo.

I have an idea that will
ruin my reputation

and maybe save yours.

Go on.

Tomorrow night,
there's one last performance...

[whispering indistinctly]

Are you sure about this?

'Cause ya know,
once we go out there,

there's no turning back.
No second chances.

No mulligans in this game,
mister, we--

Stop! You talk too much.

And cue Simon.
[crowd applauding]

Good luck.

I may not come back,
Genevieve,

so I will leave you...

[voice cracking]
with this...

[nervously]
Oh...

[whispering]
Simon! Kiss me!

[stammering]
I...I...can't!

I-I don't know how!

[audience laughing, mocking]

Allow me, Genevieve!
For I am your true love!

[long squeaky kiss]

[audience swoons, applauds]

[alarm rings]
So, Alvin, you think the girls

will calm down now?

Heh, heh, after
my performance last night?

Absolutely!

[GIRLS] [gasping]
There he is!

[girls screaming]
Oh! Simon,

they're coming
for me already.

[screaming]

Ahh!

[grunts]

Wh-What's going on?

[gushing] All the girls
thought Simon was

so brave and honest
last night.

We just love him!

Alvin!
[girls screaming]

Help!

[THEODORE]
Oh, no!

What's wrong, Theodore!?

There's no bread! No fruit!

No nuts! What am I going
to eat for my second breakfast?

Oh, Dave must've forgotten
to go shopping again.

That's like
the third time this week.

And it's only Monday!

Well, he is preparing for

a very important
business trip tomorrow.

I don't even think
he knows his own name.

Hey, has anyone seen my song?

I had it just a second ago--

This song?
Oh. Oh. Wow.

Thanks, Alvin.

It's Simon.
As I was saying...

Hey, Brittany.
Brittany?

[doorbell rings]

Sorry Theodore, could you
see who's at the door?

Of course, Darrel.

Hey! How you'e doing?!
We're--

The Miltons!

I hope we're not too early!

[gasps]

[DAVE]
Who was it?

Oh, no one. Just you know,
wrong number again...

I mean door.
Wrong door.

Good. Cause the last
thing I need is visitors.

[sighs]

Well, hello. Hello. Welcome.

If you'll just
give me one second.

[panicked gibbering]

Simon!

[muttering]

Practicing our vowels are we?

I need your help!

What did you do now?

Why would you even say that?

You always think that
I did something wrong.

Well, what if this is someone
else's problem mister?

And I'm just trying to help?

Alright, I'll play along.

Is it someone else's problem?

Well, no.
But that's not the point.

Alvin, Alvin. Please. Please.

Do you need my help or not?

Yes. Well... Um... Guess...

You know, Dave was...
Spit it out!

We all know Dave's been
working super hard,

so I said to myself “Alvin,
do something nice for Dave.

He deserves it.” So,
I booked us a Hawaiian vacation.

[hawaiian music playing]

Now, now, before you ask--

Already paid for by renting
out our house for the weekend.

But, here's the but--
the guests came early!

They were supposed
to be here tomorrow,

when Dave was away on business.

So what do we do?
Simon?

Eh... Hello.
We'll be right with you.

They look nice,
don't they?

That is not the issue!

Jealous you didn't think
of Hawaii yourself, huh?

Oh, would you please
just be quiet!

They can't stay here!

What's Dave gonna do
when he finds out?

I've got that covered.

I said to myself "Self,
who is the smartest person

who could figure out a way
for Dave not to find out?"

Guess who's name popped up?

No, no, no. Just put
my name right back.

It is not popping up.

I will not get involved in
another one of your schemes.

You can just go and tell "self"
that Simon isn't going to help.

Self is on his own.

Simon, we're talking
about Dave here!

Dear old Dave! Come on, just
look at him!

The man who single-handedly
nursed us back to health

when we were on the verge
of starving and freezing.

We were never
starving or freezing.

Not technically,
but emotionally!

Point is, do you really
want to deny Dave

some rest, relaxation and
tropical joy in his life?

When he needs it most!

[sighs]

Fine. I'm in.

Good man, Simon.
I knew I could count on you.

[chuckling]
Welcome to Casa Seville.

Simon here will take your bags.

[groans]

Here we are.
The Presidential suite.

Oh, lovely!

[groans]

Pick up the pace, young man.

So hard finding
good help these days.

Oh oh. Before we forget,

my wife would like
to see the beautician.

[gasps]
As soon as possible.

And tell the chef
we'll dine at seven.

Of course. And let us know if
there's anything else we can do.

Chop chop, Simon.

Oh! Would you please
excuse us for just a moment.

You told them we
had a beautician?

And a Chef?

Is there a Tennis pro
I should know about?

Well, it's called marketing.

I had to you know,
spice up the ad a little.

Here's just a small point,
where are you going

to find a beautician
and a chef?

Hi guys, can we please
stay here tonight?

We have to fumigate
the tree house.

We have termites everywhere!

[ALL]
Yuck!

Oh! Girls, of course
you can stay!

Let Simon take those
heavy bags for you.

What?!

Okay, you're acting
way too nice.

What's going on?

Well, since you asked...

[♪♪♪]

♪ Let me
Take your coat and hat ♪

♪ Let me
Take your coat and hat ♪

♪ Sit down, lean back
And relax ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Tell me how me
You like your tea ♪

♪ So don't you
Worry about a thing ♪

♪ No ♪

♪ So don't you
Do a thing ♪

♪ And leave everything to me ♪

♪ You're the guest of honor ♪

♪ You'll be coming
And going as you please ♪

♪ Come in and we'll
Help you lay down ♪

[scat singing]

♪ So don't you
Do a thing ♪

♪ And leave it to me ♪

♪ You're the guest of honor ♪

♪ You'll be coming
And going as you please ♪

♪ Come in and we'll
Help you lay down ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

I'd love to book a massage
in about an hour.

[girls groan]

When do they leave?!

Not for another 21 hours, 43
minutes and 6 seconds.

[all groan]

What happened in here?

Well, uh...
We-we made you dinner!

And, um... dessert!

Right, right. You know,
you're working so hard Dave,

we, you know, we thought
we'd help out.

A souffle for you!

Obviously,
no one else here, right?

Aw, guys.
That's just great.

Thank you.

Okay now, back to work.

That was close.

We need to put Dave under
24 hour surveillance.

Well, technically 21 hours
and 43 minutes surveillance.

But anyway, Theodore,
are you up for it?

Sure! But not
past my bed time.

And... Well, what does
surveillance mean?

It means you keep an eye on Dave
and tell us the moment he moves.

Ay ay, mon capitan!

[THEODORE] [over walkie-talkie]
He's scratching his nose.

Oh! Wait.

Now he's scratching his head.

Oh, he just gave
a little cough.

Okay, okay, Theodore.

Um, sorry.
Let me clear that up.

We don't need to know
every move Dave makes.

It's Brittany,
Miltons on the move.

I repeat.
Miltons on the move.

Uh-oh! Dave is moving!

And I-I'm not talking
about scratching his head.

He's going to see the Miltons
when they come down the stairs.

Theodore, Theodore!
Stop Dave.

You must stop Dave.

Dave! Dave! Look!

A-a penguin!

There's no penguins here
Theodore, maybe you saw a crow.

Oh. O-okay.

Oh, shouldn't you
be in your office,

Mister song writer
who has a lot of work to do?

Alvin, I've got some
notes I left upstairs.

Dave, are you certain they're
upstairs in your bedroom?

[ALVIN]
And not, say...in your car?

Dave's on his way up!

Code red!

[JEANETTE]
Hurry!

[grunts]

[both grunt]

Alvin, my notes
are definitely upstairs.

Upstairs?
No, no, come on Dave!

Check your car!
Please! Check your car!

Alvin!
Wait!

Get out!
Come over!

Get out now!

Big D is on his way! Evacuate!

This is not a drill!

There it is.

Hawaii better be worth it.

[JEANETTE] All clear!
I repeat: All clear.

I'm not
cut out for this.

Oh really, you know,
because the rest of us love

waiting on people
hand and foot.

Oh! Wait a sec!

[both gasp]

[both scream]

Was that Dave screaming?

Or Mr. Milton?

Or both!
Or both!

Who are you? And what
are you doing in my bathroom?!

Don't you take
one more step, mister.

Oh! Oh, well.
You two have met, I see.

You know this man?

Mr. Milton.
Meet our father.

Alvin!

[DAVE] I don't know
what to say, Alvin!

Renting out the house!?

That's too much,
even for you!

Why? Because you wanted
to buy a new skateboard?

Or was it a video game
this time?!

No Dave, no. That's not...
Really. I can explain--

Forget it Alvin. I'm gonna
tell the Miltons to leave

and you're gonna
refund every dime.

You're grounded for a month.

As for the rest of you...

I expected better.

Sorry guys. You know,
I just thought

a vacation for Dave
would be a great idea.

Well, I can't believe
I'm saying this,

but it was
a good idea, Alvin.

I mean, you tried
to do a good thing.

And that worked out great.

I'm so sorry
about the mix up.

Alvin is... Uh, well,
he's Alvin.

Oh, we understand.

Well, I hope you
get to Hawaii anyway.

Hawaii?
What do you mean?

Oh, don't you know?

Alvin wanted to surprise
you with a vacation.

That's why he rented
out the house.

Oh. Oh, that Hawaii.
Of course.

[door closes]

A-almost finished, Dave.

And I'll do
the laundry next, promise.

Alvin, it's okay.

I just heard about
the Hawaiian vacation.

The fact you thought
of that really means a lot.

Does this mean
I'm not grounded anymore?

Absolutely.
[THEODORE] Um, Alvin?

There are three people outside
saying they rented the house.

Alvin?
Are they? Are they?

Um, you know it's
a funny, funny story there.

Uhm. Did you know Dave just how
expensive it's to fly to Hawaii?

Yeah. No, I never realized that.

Turns out I needed more than
one guest to get us there.

[DAVE]
Alvin!

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪