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01x11 - Bertha's Birthday Party

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Bertha". Aired: 1 April 1985 – 18 June 1986.*
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Series is set in an industrial estate occupied by the Spottiswood & Company factory, a small manufacturing plant producing a wide range of goods ranging from cuckoo clocks to windmill money boxes.

01x11 - Bertha's Birthday Party

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

you

are a lovely machine and anyone who

works with you

[Music]

always turn

[Music]

[Music]

and i think that's very

[Music]

you can always turn the goods out always

turn the goods out

we can defend upon you

[Music]

today at spotty's wooden company bertha

is making cuckoo clocks

roy tests each one he sets the hands to

three o'clock

this one's working all right ted

here you are tom

thank you tom

there you are flo

don't stack them too high flo we don't

want them falling down

all right i won't oh you better give me

a hand now

try that one with the hats at four

o'clock roy

it's okay ted

nell is helping flo stack the boxes and

doesn't know that tom

is waiting tom wonders why the bird

keeps hiding in the clock

[Applause]

uh

oh this one is broken roy

that's funny it was all right just now

did you do this tom

we've got a broken one here ted

broken let me try it

[Music]

i wonder how that happened put it to one

side roy

try the next one with the heads at five

o'clock

one two three four

five okay ted why do they call them

hands

they look more like arms to me

i suppose because they point to the

numbers

but you can't point without using your

arms can you

i mean like this

i think roy wants something now he's

waving at you

oh yes did you want something roy

no it's all right now i was just using

my arms to point

at what we were talking about hands on a

clock

yes those things that point at the

numbers now

why are they called hands and not arms

i don't know why hands on a clock called

hands flow

because they've always been called hands

it would be tough to start calling them

arms

[Music]

why i mean you point with your arms

don't you

like this mrs tupp

the tea lady thinks roy is waving to her

all right i'm coming you want an hour

for their team

pandjit also thinks that roy is waving

at him very well i shall be along soon

everybody wants that boxes collected at

once

oops

i am very sorry mrs tub i was driving

most carelessly

i hope i haven't spilled your tea that

was quite a bang you gave me panget

i am sincerely sorry i was hurrying you

see because

i thought roy was waving at me

he was waving at me that way i was

hurrying

there you see

i'm coming i'm coming i'm coming i'm

coming

i must be more careful and not drive so

fast

here comes mrs tub

oh good time for a cup of tea

i came as fast as i could

we'll let mrs tap settle the argument

mrs tap do you point with your arms or

your hands

my finger like this

quite right mrs tap perhaps we better

call them fingers on the clock

do you know what i've often wondered

what

why is called a clock face

i should have a nice cup of tea love and

stop worrying about clarks

in the design office mr sprott is

working on a new clock that he's just

invented

put this piece there uh-huh that's right

good good and that piece there

ah splendid it's ready to go

what makes it work mr sprott

most clogs have to be wound up or have a

battery

this one will work with just one jug of

water

really i'll show you pass me that jug of

water please

but take the flowers out first

that's it now watch

the water drips slowly from this valve

and onto this propeller making it turn

inside the clock all the cogs and wheels

begin to go around

making the hands on the clock move and

show the time

mr sprott you're a genius

well it uh took a bit of working out i

must check it to see

it keeps good time it doesn't tick like

an ordinary clock

but if you listen carefully you can hear

it going

splat slap splat

it's very quiet

yes yes this is a very restful sort of

clock

as you quite rightly say you can hardly

hear it working

that's because it stopped oh dear the

water isn't dripping

the valve must be stuck i'll soon fix

that

ah

you're all wet mr sprott

mm-hmm now my watch has stopped

well you'll just have to invent another

sort of clock

um yes it's time i got back to the

drawing board

and time i got some fresh water for the

flowers

miss mcclackety has been finding time to

tidy her

office at the back of the filing cabinet

she's found some old papers well i never

fancy that

i found some old papers about bertha

really

let me see hmm

[Music]

it says that bertha first came to the

factory 50 years ago

mm-hmm that must have been in my

grandfather's day

it says she came here 50 years ago

tomorrow

tomorrow is bertha's birthday

bye jove so it is we ought to have a

celebration

have a birthday party with presents for

her

what sort of presents can you give a

machine

ted could give her some new oil roy

could give her a spot of paint

we could all polish her and make her

look grand

i could give her the day off mrs tub

could make her a birthday cake

and we could have a party tomorrow

morning a splendid idea miss mccleckerty

tell everybody about the anniversary and

say we'll meet at bertha tomorrow

morning

bertha 50 years old

my word

[Music]

the next morning mrs tub arrived early

to make bertha's birthday cake

tom wants to help her all right tom

you can give me a hand to ice the cake

ted roy nell and flo also arrived early

to make bertha look her best

[Music]

you've got to look your best today

bertha

i'll just type this up

bertha wonders what all the fuss is

about

it's nearly time gather round everybody

happy birthday bertha happy birthday

bertha

many happy returns bertha happy birthday

bertha

fancy being 50. well

uh happy birthday bertha yeah you're not

so bad for

such an old machine

uh i would just like to say how proud we

are of bertha

and to say thank you to her for the 50

years she has worked in the factory

as a birthday treat i'm giving her the

day off

well how about that

no work today hey bertha

and since this is such a special day i

think my grandfather

who first brought bertha to the factory

should be here to share it

come on mrs top

i'm here pioneer phew i'm all puffed

it's all been such a rush now who would

like a nice cup of birthday tea

where's the birthday cake mrs tub

ah yes that has been brought by my new

helper

oh that looks very nice mrs tap

it looks lovely really smashing

[Music]

thank you bertha you really are the

best machine

[Music]

have to sometimes you can always turn

the goods out always turn the goods out

we can depend upon you

[Music]

you