02x04 - Wax Dave/Finding Mrs. Croner

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Watch out, 'cause here we come ♪

♪ It's been a while,
but we're back with style ♪

♪ So get set to have some fun ♪

♪ We'll bring you action
and satisfaction ♪

♪ We're the Chipmunks ♪

♪ Alvin, Simon, Theodore ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

MOVIE: You will be my masterpiece.

[evil cackle]

Is he gonna dip that man in hot wax?

-'Cause if he is--
-Shh. You're spoiling the mood.

The boys will be
so surprised when they find out

we're going to be
in Madame Tussauds' wax museum.

I'm so glad you can stay with us
for a few days.

That way I can finish your sculpture.

[wild scream]

Oh, no. Sorry, I've gotta go.

See you soon.

Fellas, what's wrong?

[chuckles] Nothing! We're just watching
a silly old cartoon.

Y-yeah, just watching cartoons.

He bears an uncanny--

Look, fellas,
I've got to leave for a few days and--

-Why?
-[chuckles] It's a surprise.

What kind of surprise?

The secret kind of surprise, Alvin.

Now, listen,
I've called Miss Miller to stay with you.

What? Oh!

Dave, we're chipmunks.

We lived in the wild,
foraged for food, fought off predators!

You don't think we could manage
without Miss Miller a few days?

Hello! Boys?

Oh...

ALVIN: This is the sixth time this month

that Dave has had to "leave for business".

Something's up
and I intend to get to the bottom of it.

Britt, I need a favour.

Bring your big-boy clothes.

I need you to pretend to be us.

What's up, party people?

Big Alvie's in the hizzle!

-What, what!
-Pound it out.

Yo! Keepin' it real, dude style!

Please, please stop.

You know we don't talk like that, right?

Hey, we gotta go.

-Boys?
-Up here!

[gasps and lowers voice]
Uh, I mean... up here!

Yo!

No more "yo".

David, come in.

Dave's got a babe!
I knew something was up.

Wow! It's like looking in the mirror.

And he moves and speaks. Watch.

-Fellas, I'm home.
-That's fantastic!

Remember when I recorded
a few of your favourite sayings?

That's a great idea, fellas!

-Shall we sing a song?
-And it's so lifelike.

Come. You must be hungry.

All right, boys, time for a little spying.

We've got to make sure
she's the right one for Dave.

[gasps] Theodore, get back! Get back!

Oh, please, Alvin. How bad can it be?

[gasps] Get back, Theodore!

Ow!

We've got to get inside.

Aah!

-Do you think it's safe?
-No.

-Aah!
-Oh...

-A vat of melted wax.
-[gasps] Just like the movie.

Y-y-yep!

[gasp]

I don't want my pretty boy getting dusty.

You will be my masterpiece.

I will be back to finish you off.

You don't think that's Dave, do you?

Of course not, Theodore.

Theodore, why don't you check it out?

-You check it out.
-[gulps]

Oh...

-[gasps] Dave!
-[gasps] What happened?

He fell for the wrong woman!
That's what happened.

Come on, Dave!
We've gotta get you outta here.

That's a great idea, fellas!

Not so loud, Dave.

Ugh! It feels like
she's already dipped him in wax.

If we can just peel some of the wax off...

[screaming]

We have to get him to a hospital.

How? We're in the middle of nowhere!

-I'm calling the police.
-Put the phone down!

We can't go to the police. Look.

This woman has friends
in very high places.

She knows the President, the Queen...

She even knows Lady RaRa!

This is bigger than we ever thought!

We have to find a hospital!

-Hi, I'm David Seville.
-Quiet.

[gasps]

Get me the police!
My wax figure of David Seville is missing!

Hey, David Seville's been kidnapped.

[gasps] She's already alerted the police.

We've got to be careful.

It appears there's a hospital
ten miles down the road.

[sirens]

No! They're after us! Hide!

-Phew! That was a close one.
-Come on! Let's get Dave!

Dave!

-Fellas!
-[gasp]

Coming, Dave!

Say, this is a great idea!

Oh, sarcasm isn't helping, David!

ALVIN: We're doing our best!

Fellas! Fellas!

Hang on, Dave! We're coming!

Dave! Are... are you OK?

-Shall we sing a song?
-Sing a song? h*, h*!

-That's the stupidest thing--
-Alvin...

Um, it's been a long day, Dave.

Maybe we should get some sleep.

-Shall we sing a song?
-ALL: Sure.

Oh...

♪ Oo, ee, oo, ah, ah ♪

♪ Ting, tang,
walla-walla, bing-bang ♪

-Did you like your song, Dave?
-Fellas, I'm home.

No, Dave. We're not home.

Fellas, I'm hoooome.

Yes, yes, you're home.

Try to get a good night's sleep, Dave.

THEODORE: [screams]

Dave had a really bad night!

-SIMON: What happened?
-He lost his neck!

We've got to get him to a doctor. Now!

So, I'm confused.

Why did you boys bring him to me?

Well, uh, Doctor, for starters,
his ear fell off!

And, um, Doc, did you notice
his neck is gone?

So, you want me to try
and put his ear back on?

-[scream]
-Hmm.

Well, it's a little wobbly,
but that should hold it.

Now, let's cut some of that neck off.

-No!
-If you want a wax specialist,

there is a woman who lives nearby,

-who works with these dummies.
-He's not a dummy!

Fellas, I'm home!

-Oish!
-Doctor, you know this woman?

It's a small town, everybody knows her.

And you're fine
with what she does to people?

I don't know why you're so upset.
It's quite an honour.

An honour? OK, that's it.
Step away from him, Doctor!

Alvin...

What a crazy town,
with sick twisted doctors--

-Alvin!
-Not now, Simon!

-We must figure out how to--
-He's wax!

Simon, I know exact... Wax?

Of course we know he's wax.

I mean, who wouldn't?

All right, so, Doctor,

we're going to leave him here with you

and if you could make sure he
gets back to that nice wax lady,

we'll be on our way.

And remember, doctor-patient privilege.

We were never here.

Fellas, I'm home!

-Hey, Miss Miller.
-Hello, David.

-The boys are upstairs?
-They've been playing

dress-up and dolls all morning.

-DAVE: Hey, fellas, I'm home!
-ALL: [gasp]

Come on, guys, let me in!

Yo! Uh, it must be stuck, Dave!

Thanks. We got it.

DAVE: Hey, guys.

Um, Miss Miller said
you were playing dress-up and dolls?

Oh, that is a lovely dress!

Between us, where did you get it?

h*, h*, h*! Thank you! I got it on sale.

Would you like more tea?

Guys, if you could just put
your teacups down for a second,

I've got a great surprise!

Oh, no, no, no.

Yikes, Dave, they did not do you justice.

Well, he looked much better,
but someone took him

and then dropped him off
looking like this!

Oh! I don't know if I'll be able
to fix him before the unveiling.

-Is there anything we can do?
-Why don't you guys

go out and perform.
That'll buy us a little time.

Right, right. Good idea. Come on!

[♪♪♪]

Ugh!

Hey!

♪ Front row in the crowd,
screamin' loud along with me ♪

♪ She got her hands up in the air ♪

♪ Whips her hair along to the beat ♪

♪ And when she's movin' to my song ♪

♪ And she's singin' along ♪

♪ She knows
she dr-dr-dr-drives me insane ♪

♪ Rock 'n' roll lover ♪

♪ Be my rock 'n' roll girl ♪

♪ Yeah, rock 'n' roll lover ♪

♪ Let me rock your world ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

[applause]

Thank goodness. So, without further ado,

Madame Tussauds is proud to present

David Seville and the Chipmunks!

Wow! That wax Dave looks amazing.

These are incredibly realistic,
don't you think, Alvin?

[chuckles] Well, they've
clearly done a great job,

but an old eagle-eye like me...

Well, I can spot a fake a mile away.

I mean, would the real Dave
let me do this? Or this?

Alvin!

The first Mars colony celebrated
its first anniversary today

by preparing zero-gravity pancakes,

served in style with maple syrup
and blueberries.

This is Simon Seville reporting from Mars.

Hello? Earth to Simon...

Let me guess.

You were daydreaming again

about becoming a world-famous reporter.

No, no, no. Why would you even say that?

-You mumble when you daydream.
-Busted.

Simon has an interview
for the school newspaper.

-Great!
-I'm... a little nervous.

Huh! Why? They would be crazy
not to hire a reporter

who's willing to go to Mars for a story.

[sighs] What didn't I mumble?

-Good... good luck, Simon.
-Thanks.

All I'm saying is I don't understand

why you want to be
on the school newspaper.

Would you be interested to know
that the principal

has ordered double the amount of homework

and plans to extend
the school day by two hours?

Well, exactly... What? She can't do that!

We gotta get united!

We've all got to, you know,
band together and do something!

Relax, relax. I'm joking.

But my point is
that's why news is important.

So you know what's happening.

But, Theodore, what if she could do it?

What if she could double
our homework? [hyperventilates]

Snap out of it, Alvin!

Simon wants to work
on this newspaper more than anything.

We... we have to help him.

Oh, all right.

So, why do you think
you're Newster material, Simon?

Oh, oh, well, yes, um...

You know, working on the school newspaper,

well, you know, the Newster,
has been a dream of mine and--

Yeah, OK, look, we saw your story proposal

and, sorry, but the need
for healthier food in the cafeteria,

well, it just doesn't
speak to our audience.

-I mean, it just does not.
-I'm sorry,

do you have anything else?
Something less boring?

Oh, something else?

Well, um, I'm working
on a story that... you know...

could very possibly, um,

be something, you know,
very, very huge, you know. Um...

-Cool. What is it?
-[gulps]

Well, that would... um... um...

He's got nothing!

Perhaps... could... ?

Simon! We got that top-secret info
you asked for.

Well, you know, until you get
the official sign-off

from, well, you know, the...
the secret file documents.

I... I keep forgetting I don't
need to explain it to you journalists.

You guys know how this works.

Anyway, Simon, come on, let's go.

Guys, um, he'll have the story
for you by the end of the week.

Yeah, the end of the week.

What am I going to do?

I promised them a story
and I have nothing!

[chuckles] Will you just relax?

I've been collecting
grade-A stories for years.

They're yours, pal. You're welcome.

"Werewolf runs deli section
at the supermarket"?

How do you think he gets meat?

"200-year-old man rises from the dead"?

Come on, really? Really?

All right, so that...
I kind of bent the truth a little.

I mean, he was technically 80,

and he wasn't, you know, dead.

He woke up from a nap.

"Loch Ness Monster marries Bigfoot"?
Come on!

Oh, no, that I have got really solid info.

Alvin, I can't use any of these.

Well, I'm saving my best for last.

Now, it's not as flushed out
as the others, but it's gold!

You want me to prove Miss Smith
is a commando in special forces?

That's... that's the most ridiculous thing
I ever heard! Ever!

Theodore, tell Simon
what you saw yesterday.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

I had forgotten my favourite red pencil.

Or was it the blue one?

I don't even think I have a red pen--

Ahem! Theodore, focus.

Oh, oh, it was my green pencil!

I forgot it at my desk
and when I went back to get it...

[groaning]

You saw her doing one-arm push-ups?

Yep. With one arm.

Yeah, that's implied--

Oh, oh! Tell him about the other time.

Other time? What other time?

h*, h*, h*! Listen to this!

Oh, I got it! I got it!

I will meet you at rendezvous point
at 0400 hours, Zulu time.

Roger that. Tango Delta 702.

That doesn't prove anything.

She might have a nephew
in the military for all we know.

Theodore, take it home.

Well, the other day,
I walked by her classroom...

[fly buzzing]

[gasps]

[chuckles] Well,
what do you have to say now?

All right, I'll look into it.

But I'm not a believer.

♪ Cloaked in darkness ♪

♪ Hid by night ♪

♪ Oh, she creeps so feather-light ♪

♪ No trace but her sweet perfume ♪

♪ Never know she's in the room ♪

♪ 'Cause she's so smooth ♪

♪ She's on the move ♪

♪ So watch your, watch your back ♪

♪ Because she's getting closer ♪

♪ She's getting closer,
oh, she's getting closer ♪

♪ There ain't no, ain't no
getting one, getting one over ♪

[gasps] Is this the proof?

Wait. Wait. What is this?

"Miss Smith gardens.
Miss Smith feeds the birds."

"Miss Smith does laundry"?

-No one cares about this!
-Where does she kick butt?

She doesn't do it, Theodore.
There's no butt-kicking here.

And so I've got nothing. No story.

And that means I'll never get
on the school newspaper.

[laughs and snorts]

Excuse me.

That's the most ridiculous thing
I have ever heard.

No. Sorry.

But isn't there a way
you can help him? Please!

What if Alvin promises to behave in class,

do his homework on time

and not make a joke for a whole week!

Oh, guys, you know, a whole week?

Hmm. Make it a month,
and you've got a deal.

Um, Miss Smith, may I have a moment

to discuss the terms with my brother?

-Be my guest.
-Theodore!

There's no way I'm agreeing to that!

OK, so, Alvin's out,

but I'll agree to behave in class,
do my homework,

and not make any jokes for a whole month.

No. Deal's off.

Oh, all right, all right. I'll do it.

Deal.

Oh...

All right. So, what do we know so far?

One. She has an affinity for birds.

Two. Her left arm is definitely stronger
than her right.

Three. She cuts her own hair.
That's unfortunate.

Simon Seville,
we've been monitoring your activity.

You're probably wondering who we are

in these cool suits and dark sunglasses.

Can't tell you. Top secret.

Drop your investigation into Miss Smith.

Go study for tomorrow's math test.

How could you know about that?

The question you should
be asking is, "What don't we know?"

Hey, you've been warned.

Tango Bravo Charlie.
All clear for 2100 hours,

Zulu time. Airport.

Oh...

But won't he stop investigating
if they scare him too much?

Guys! Oh, guys! You won't believe it!

Oh, well, what is it we won't believe?

Miss Smith is hiding something!

Two government spies
just tried to scare me away.

h*, h*! And that can only mean one thing.

-You're scared?
-No, Theodore.

It means I'm close to breaking

the biggest story in school history!

And that's how we get Simon
on the school newspaper.

SIMON: Guys, come on!

h*, h*, h*! Miss Smith's
gonna catch the bad guys.

It's really happening!

If you talk any louder
it's not going to happen.

[gasps] Look!

There's the bad guy!

-You're under arrest, buddy!
-Oh, I see. And who are you?

-A little old lady?
-I'm your worst nightmare!

Did you see that kick?
What about that punch?

Uh, you might want to use
that camera of yours.

Of course!

OK, hang on.

Uh-huh. Us again.

Oh, great. My cover's been blown.

Sorry, Miss Smith.
But it is for a good cause.

Oh, really? I can't wait to hear this.

And that, ladies and gentlemen,
is my story.

Wow. Miss Smith
is a secret agent? That's--

MISS SMITH: Classified!

You can't print any of that,
do you understand?

Yes, sir! I mean, ma'am! Wow.

Sorry, this is just so very overwhelming.

-So, what do I call you?
-Code name is Red Falcon.

Now, listen, Simon got you a story

and now you put him
on the newspaper, understand?

Yes, Agent Red Falcon.

Come to think of it,
let's make him editor.

Yeah, sure. Why not? It's a great idea.

Miss Smith, I just wanted to say
you were awesome!

Well, anything for Simon.

That was quite some plan of yours, Alvin.

So, Miss Smith, you probably
look at me differently now.

You know,
someone who puts others before himself.

And that's the reason
the homework that was due today,

I don't have, but--

Stop. Stop talking.

Since I was, you know,
helping Simon very unselfishly,

could I have a credit
for my homework that I didn't do?

-No!
-But I...

Quiet!

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪