03x04 - Spoiler-Itis/Something Fishy

[bunniefuu]

♪ Watch out, 'cause here we come ♪

♪ It's been a while,
but we're back with style ♪

♪ So get set to have some fun ♪

♪ We'll bring you action
and satisfaction ♪

♪ We're the Chipmunks ♪

♪ Alvin, Simon, Theodore ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

[students chattering]

Ooh. I love your shirt, Brittany.

Well, thank you, Theodore.

Brit! Get dressed
in the dark again this morning?

Oh, come on. That's funny.

[recorded laughs]

It's my new app.

Theodore, don't encourage him.

Seriously, Brit. Who wears
a shirt with their face on it?

Um, pretty sure you did.

And for your information, Alvin,

this was given to me by a fan.

Can I help it if people adore me?

She made those shirts herself, right?

Yeah, she did.

Guys. Guys, who watched
Alien Cat Invasion last night?

Oh, I don't like that show.
All those...

All those alien cats going
around licking themselves.

It's just not right.

Alvin, I'm warning you.

Not a word. You're not going
to spoil another show for me!

If you didn't want to hear spoilers,
you should've watched it.

No one in school watches it
the night it comes out.

It starts at 11:00 and ends at midnight!

[recorded laughs]

That's funny, right?

Alvin, please! I love this show.
Don't ruin it for us!

Come on.
I'm not gonna spoil it for you.

I've heard that before.

Wait, wait, wait, wait!
Are you implying I spoil shows?

This is a very common
psychological phenomenon.

Well, actually that's not true.

I just made it up right now.
But I call it "Spoiler-itis."

The idea is that some people
just can't help

but spoil shows and movies
for other people.

Oh, you're right!

That's so Alvin!
He totally has Spoiler-itis!

I do not.

Oh, Alvin, I'm afraid
I have to agree.

You have, well,
a chronic case of Spoiler-itis.

Fine. I just won't talk anymore.
How would you all like that?

[recorded cheers]

Oops. Sorry.

I... I don't know
what's wrong with this thing.

You? Not talk?

Right, as if that was even possible.

Alvin, you couldn't stop talking
if your life depended on it.

Oh, please. I can stop talking
whenever I want.

Watch: "Hey, Brit, how..."

See? Ha, ha, ha! Stopped myself.
It's a cinch.

Come on, Alvin.
You couldn't go one day without talking.

Okay. Well, you know what?

You'll lose that bet.
You know why?

Because I don't
even like talking that much.

[recorded laughs]

It... it's like it's got a mind
of its own.

Okay, Alvin, prove it.

Starting tonight at midnight.

No talking for 24 hours.

Easy! What are the terms?

Okay, okay. If we win...

Let's see. If we win, oh, oh!

You have to wear Brittany's shirt

at school for one full day.

Since that's not going to happen,

what do I get when I win?

What do you want?

If I win, I want to...

I want, oh, all of you
to carry me around school

for the entire day chanting
Alvin Rules, Alvin Rules,

while, um, oh, oh,
while feeding me with yummy bunnies!

Is it a deal or not?

Oh oh, deal!

You do realize

that the Alien Cat finale
is tonight, right?

What? No!

Too late. We already shook on it.

Fine! Twenty-four hours
of no talking.

Piece... of... See that?

No talking.

[owl hooting]

Oh, no! Don't go down in the basement!

They keep the kitty litter there!

[cat angrily hissing on TV]

Four minutes, come on.
Come on! Hurry up!

[TV]
I know it could never work.

Especially since...

Well, you know... I'm a dog now.

[dog howling]

[cat meowing]

[tension music]

Oh, oh, oh!
I did not see that coming.

I still got two minutes.

Simon! Simon!

You'll not believe what just
happened on the season finale!

Marybelle wasn't married to Stark.

She was actually working
with the cats as a double agent!

Crazy, right?

And then Henry and General Furball
are off to...

Hold on! Hold on, Alvin.

Sorry, sorry. I had the earplugs in.
Couldn't hear a thing.

[alarm clock ringing]

Oh darn. It's midnight.
You can't talk.

[mysterious music]

[Alvin] Alright, I'll admit it,
this is k*lling me!

I've got to tell someone!

No! No! You can't tell anybody!

Can you imagine
how humiliating it would be

to have to wear
that stupid shirt all day?

Wait! Wait a minute.

Am I talking to myself?

Oh, so this is what
it's like inside my own head.

Hello! Anybody there? Hello?

Echooo! Echooo! Echooo!

Alright. Come on.

You need to get to sleep.
Stop thinking about it.

Ah, there we go.

It's easy to stop thinking about stuff.

It's no different than
when Dexter hid in the basement...

No! This is way harder
than I thought!

I gotta talk to someone!

And then, Felicity went up
to Stark and was like:

"You're not taking my baby!
I'm in love with Henry!"

But Stark wouldn't back down

so that's when Felicity shot
her eye lasers.

Is he talking?

I repeat. Is he talking?

h* h* h*! He is singing like a canary.

We've got him.

Okay, let's move.
Move, move, move!

[suspenseful music]

[Eleanor] Ha ha! Gotcha, sucka!
You were talking!

What? I wasn't talking!

[mocking laugh]

Alvin, Alvin...

You see, what you didn't know

was that Shirley here
was wearing a wire.

[Alvin] Oh, perfect.
A cat ratting me out!

Shirley, I trusted you!

Oh Alvin, when will you learn?

You can't trust a cat.

Especially one...

[deep voice]
...who is an alien!

Ah! No! No! Nooo!

Noooo!

[gasping]

Uh, it was just a dream.

[alarm ringing]

[Simon] Well, good morning, sunshine!

How are we feeling today?

Oooo, today is gonna be fantastic.

School, come back home,

and then tonight watch
the un-ruined season finale

of Alien Cat Invasion!

♪ I know you're trying hard
Trying to hold it in ♪

♪ You don't know where to stop
Just how to begin ♪

♪ But if you wanna know
how to take it slow ♪

♪ Just open up your mouth
and start breathing in ♪

♪ Holding back is hard to do ♪

♪ Especially when you're you ♪

♪ So hush hush ♪

♪ You don't wanna keep it
to yourself but you got to ♪

♪ So hush hush ♪

♪ You don't really know
when to stop but I'll stop you ♪

♪ So hush hush don't rush ♪

♪ Hush hush enough ♪

♪ Holding back is hard to do ♪

♪ Especially when you're you ♪

♪ Don't hush hush ♪

♪ You don't wanna keep it
to yourself but you got to ♪

♪ So you want to scream it out
Or feel the need to shout ♪

♪ If you're ever in doubt
Then you might need to hush ♪

[Dave] Alvin, Miss Smith tells me
that you failed your oral report.

You wanna tell me about that?

Why are you in a mime outfit?

Alvin, Alvin, stop it.

You see?
This, this is what I deal with.

Okay, Alvin. Do you want me
to take away your TV privileges?

Then explain what's going on!

Is that a picture of me?

Alvin, I wanna know
what's going on!

[out of breath]

Oh, look everyone, it's a mime!

Did you lose your box somewhere?

[recorded laughs]

I... I don't even get it,

but it sounded like you were
trying to make a joke, right?

So, Alvin, how was your day?

[Alvin] You wanna know how my day was?

Worst day ever!

I... I never realized
how much I love talking!

Let's watch the season finale
at our place!

Oh, I can't wait.

[Simon] I can't believe we'll sit down

and watch the finale
of Alien Cat Invasion

without any idea
about what's gonna happen.

Oh, what a treat.

[TV] And now, a special season finale
of Alien Cat Invasion.

[cat meowing]

[DVR voice] Recording erased.

Have a nice day.

Uh-oh...

Theodore, what did you do?

Well, uh, technically,
I didn't do it.

My, uh... My butt did.

Wait, girls, we can go
and watch it at your house, right?

But, but we didn't record it!

Because you said
we were gonna watch it here!

Didn't you know that something
like this could happen?

[Eleanor] Yes, of course!

Because we assumed that Theodore

would sit on the remote
and erase the show.

See all the problems you cause?

Oh, come on.
He does it all the time.

Yeah. That's kinda true.

To be honest,
my butt's not a huge sci-fi fan.

I think it's more
of a romantic-comedy butt.

How are we gonna see the finale?

It won't be online for months!

Oh, no. See, I can't go months
without knowing what happened.

I... I can't go another night!

[suspenseful music]

[gentle music]

Wait! Alvin!

Alvin! Alvin! Please!

[Simon] Alvin! Alvin! Alright, you win!

Just tell us what happened.

[chanting]
ALVIN RULES. ALVIN RULES.

This is so humiliating.

Guys? Guys?
A little louder, huh?

-[chanting] ALVIN RULES! ALVIN RULES!
-A little louder.

ALVIN RULES!

[Alvin]
Now, keep your hand steady!

I know that!

And keep your eye on the target.
Become one with the target.

I know that.

[Alvin] And now, for the third
and most important bit of advice:

imagine seeing everything in slow motion!

I know, Alvin!

Okay, Mister Know-it-all,

if you know everything,
why do you need my help?

I don't! That's what
I've been trying to tell you!

[Chipettes and Simon]
Yeah!

Yeah, I think that pretty much
says how useful you are...

Like, not. At all.

[bored]
Here you go. Congratulations.

Be sure to come back.
Enjoy the Funville Fair.

Wow! Thanks!

I'm going to name him...

uh, uh... Henry!

[Theodore] "...and Mr.& Mrs. Sardine

and all the little sardines

snuggled together
in their comfy metal can

and said 'Good night'."

The end.

[kiss]
Good night.

Oh, this is...
this is embarrassing.

Theodore thinks his fish
can understand his story!

[Simon] Alvin, it would be a good idea
if you said good night to Henry.

Don't you think so, Theodore?

Oh, Henry would love that, Alvin.

Fine.

Alright, good night, Henry.

See, that wasn't so hard.

You too, Simon.

Yeah, Simon. Come on,
say good night to Henry.

And don't forget to tell him
how much you love him.

Right. Good... good night, Henry.
I... I love you.

See, Henry? Everybody loves you.

Ah...

Ah!

Simon, Simon!

[whispering]
Wake up.

Whatever it is this time, Alvin...

Just look.

[dramatic music]

Oh!

Oh, we cannot let Theodore see this.

He won't be able to handle it.

You're... you're right!
He... he won't.

But there's nothing I can do.

Couldn't you give him mouth-to-mouth?

Alright. Have you got a better idea?

I'm afraid there's nothing...

Wait! Wait a minute!
I could try electroshock.

You know, with the right amp/watt ratio,

it just might work.

Oh, great idea!

Okay...

So, the fish has
a body mass index of .002,

which correlates to 20 amps.

Now, calculating
the wattage to roughly...

Simon, pick up the pace!

By the time you get this going,

he'll already be reincarnated
as a hamster!

Alright, well, this current
should jump start Henry's heart.

-Wait!
-What?

Well, you know, this is exactly
what Dr. Frankenstein did!

You know, with lightning and everything?

I mean, he created a monster!
What if we do that here?

Now that the science-fiction story hour
is finished,

will you please stand back?

Alright... 1, 2...

-Wait!
-What is it now?

What if you... cook him or something?

Yeah, he'll still be dead,
so stand back.

[electric crackling]

[metal clinking]

W... Where did he go?

There he is!

Did... did it work?

Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today

not just to say goodbye,

but to celebrate the life
of our dear Henry.

We only knew him for two hours,
Simon. Aren't we overdoing it?

Fine! What would you say?

Well, you know, I'd say...

"Although we hardly knew ye",
you know,

"all drains lead to the ocean, Henry.

So, so you're going home, pal."

[flush]

[knocks on the door]

[Theodore] Hey guys,
what are you doing in there?

Oh, uh, what, us?
Oh, you know, we're just, um...

b... b... brushing our teeth!
[brushing]

[Theodore]
Have you seen Henry? He's gone!

Go on, say something!

Oh, oh, that, oh, well, yes, uh,
well, that was because,

we were, we said,
we should probably clean, clean,

you know, clean his bowl!

His water was, was really dirty,
Theodore!

I mean, it's gonna take hours,

but we are taking good care
of him, don't you worry!

[whispering]
He's not gonna fall for that.

[whispering] Sure he is.
We're talking about Theodore.

Okay, guys, thanks!
I'll go see the Chipettes.

I can smell pancakes.

[chuckles]
Like I said.

Okay, so now, what do we do?

I go fishing,

and you get the Chipettes
to distract Theodore.

[bored] Welcome to the Funville Fair.
Try your luck.

Five darts for the price of three.

Yes, I'd like to buy a goldfish.
How much are they?

They are not for sale.

Oh, well, you'll wanna make
an exception, alright?

Look, I need to buy one of those
fishes for my younger brother.

He's very sensitive and if
I don't get him a new goldfish,

he'll be really, you know,
really sad, okay?

And that's gonna be on you.
So, how much is a goldfish?

If you want a fish,
you gotta play for one.

♪ It's not what you thought
not going your way ♪

♪ I'm here in a flash to make it okay ♪

♪ Just leave it all to me ♪

♪ You'll get what you need ♪

♪ So what if the rules
are off in this game ♪

♪ I'm telling you
that won't stand in my way ♪

♪ Not here to play alone ♪

♪ I will take it steady
in the storm I will keep

♪ Pushing forward until you see ♪

♪ I oh I ♪

♪ Will never let you down ♪

♪ I'll never let you down ♪

♪ So someone tell me why ♪

♪ Oh why ♪

♪ Would you think otherwise ♪

♪ Look into my eyes ♪

♪ Someone tell me why ♪

♪ Oh why ♪

♪ Would you think otherwise ♪

♪ Look into my eyes ♪

♪ And then you will know ♪

♪ Ah oh ah oh ah oh ♪

♪ You will know ah oh ah oh ♪

♪ Look at me and you will know ♪

♪ You will know
that I would never let you down ♪

[laughing]
Yes, yes! I did it!

[man] Here you go. Congratulations.

Wait! Hold...

Where's the fish I want?

I don't have anymore.

I gave the last one away earlier.

[sigh]

Hey, don't forget your elk.

-[pain grunt]
-Have a good day.

[struggling]

You miserable... There, there!

Hey, Simon,
look what I won for Theodore!

Great, Alvin.
Um, let's just put it in the fish bowl

and see if he notices.

[doorbell rings]

Wow! Where did you get that?

How did you do it?

Uh... well, I, um,
went to the... pet store?

Right.

[Theodore] Hey, guys.

[gasp] Henry!

[Alvin] Yup, yup, just like
we promised, Theodore.

A nice sparkling
clean bowl, right?

Nothing but the best for Henry.

Henry looks...

...really happy!

Oh, boy, boy is he.
[laugh]

Oh, see, see,
look, he's smiling.

I think he'd like
some fresh air and sunshine.

-Henry, would you like that?
-[bubbles]

Okay, let's go!

[peaceful music]

He looks really happy.

I don't think he suspects a thing.

So how come I feel so guilty?

Yeah, yeah, me too.
[sigh]

[Theodore] Say hi to Henry.

[rumbling]

[gasp]

Simon, Simon!

Do you hear that?
That... weird splashing sound?

Wh... what?

[suspenseful music]

[rumbling]

We flushed Henry down that toilet!

So?

Well, what if, you know,
that experiment did something to him?

You know,
what if we created a Frankenfish?

That's what I was telling you.
You know, like a monster!

And now, poor old Henry is,
you know, all radiated,

and he's crawling back up
through the pipes

to get revenge!

Oh, that's absurd.
And I'll prove it.

See? I told you there was nothing.

[yawn]

Now let's just go back to bed.

[toilet flushing]

[suspenseful music]

[growling]

[panicked screams]

[Dave] Wha... wha...

Dave, Dave, get up!

There's a fish monster in the house!

Okay, guys... See?
No fish monster.

Must have been a nightmare.

[yawn]
I'm gonna go back to bed now.

Alvin, Alvin... it's wet.

[Alvin]
Uh, Simon... if there's a Frankenfish,

shouldn't we go the other way?

-Well, we have to make sure.
-No, we don't!

[growling]

[panicked screams]

-[Brittany] What's going on?
-Run! Run! Save yourselves!

[scream]

[pain yell]

Theodore?

So, you knew all along about Henry?

Yes, I, I did.

We just wanted to protect you.

We were wrong, Theodore.
We're so sorry.

[Alvin] Um, Theodore? Um...

If you hadn't overheard us,

would you have noticed
that Henry was different?

Yes, yes, I would have.

You're pretty sure
of yourself.

Yes, I am, because...

Because Henry was plastic, guys.

But it's great to have a real fish now.

And I named him
Henry the Second.

Thanks, guys!

[whispering]
Simon, do you really think

Henry was plastic?

Of course not, Alvin. But...
it's best to let him think that.

Dave, what are you doing?

Oh, the toilet's stopped up.

Nothing to worry about.

Simon, Simon, it's Henry.
I knew it!

He's trying to send us a message!

And what would that be?

Well, like: "You can
flush me down the toilet,

but I will come back to get you!"

[Dave] Guys! Who flushed
a plastic fish down the toilet?

[together]
Oops...

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪