01x02 - The Portobello Plague

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

one misty morning after a long and

tiring voyage captain pugwash was

sailing the black pig back into

portobello harbour wake up wake up we've

arrived the crew had never been so

exhausted so hungry they were longing to

get ashore to stock up on all their

favorite things he's been a long trip

and that's effect it has indeed mr mate

um or tom

mr mate there wouldn't happen to be a

small stale crust of bread in the galley

water or a few miserable cake crumbs

sorry mr mate the ladder is completely

bare

oh oh oh whack

oh what was that my stomach is rumbling

like a volcano well kindly don't erupt

ah

tea

sorry this is for the captain it's the

last bag the harbour cafe oh i ain't

half looking forward to a nice kipper

two slices of toast sausage double egg

baker one with mom tomato

toast mama lid i'm that hungry i could

eat a horse i don't know about you but i

could eat a horse is that really the

last of my emergency supplies i'm afraid

it is captain

you've got to admire the captain haven't

you i i mean all these days without

decent grub doesn't seem to have

affected him at all captain pugwash is a

bed with many hidden hessettes and it's

effect i don't have a fancy a spot of

rose beef for me dinner

what herby heart is

lettering cauli wobbles what was that

sorry oh oh what's the matter term the

flying dust man's import captain

no good will come of it mark my words oh

come come pull yourselves together you

are not afraid are you mr mate not in

the least captain

look beware the point about our plague

run for your lives get you ants you

don't want to come ashore here oh no

everyone's got spots and belly aiken

using very well and things like that and

clean and

oh this is too much oh hey it means we

can't have breakfast

your supper i'm trying to catch some

fish

then you can make a plan captain what we

need is a plan tom

why don't you run off and catch some

fish i can't possibly make a plan on an

empty stomach

i fooled him this time

did you hear me out there hey did you

see me action

was i good lois i good you are good and

you were good very good ah they don't

come any gooder than you you were the

goodest good

[Laughter]

so on account of my spectacular

performance captain horacio pogwash

really believes there's a plague on

shore

[Laughter]

i might have known

it was a cruel trick after all

so tom decided to pick up a surprise

breakfast for the crew

no

listen carefully

pug wash is on the black pig with no

food not a cram let me tell you

pug wash without pudding is like a

cannon without shot ha like a cannon

without pushing he's very sad man no

cannonball quiet

we'll seize the black pig you see if we

don't because in no time at all pugwash

will be as weak as a kitten

i'm as weak as a kitten mr mate

i'm sure i had another little emergency

supply of biscuits somewhere

vanishing frittles this is good

body i believe lost a great many days

without sustenance captain if his any

consolation it isn't new there was a

mint humbug here somewhere i knew there

was oh

it won't be like this on the flying dust

but cutthroat jake ship is always

heaving with food

the question is

how do we get it there indeed he's the

question captain hmm

come along mr mate we'll go and see what

tom has managed to catch for breakfast a

couple of grizzly little sprouts of the

prawn if we're lucky

oh

dear dear tell me our prawns prone to

play literally no captain but i do

believe pilgrims can be a bit of a

warrior

oh i wish you wouldn't kate bromberley i

wish you wouldn't keep grumbling

you ever had the plague jonah have i

ever had the plague i have i ever had

the plague die no oh but

my great anger zebedee he had the plan

oh all his fingers fell off one at a

time really then all his toes

then everything else i've had the mumps

and the chicken parks

and i once pretended to have the measles

to get how to go into sunday school how

did you pretend man well

i painted red spots all over my face

painted spots i did

i were quite clever you know as a child

i believe i've just had a top cool idea

now i have thought up a masterful way of

tricking jake and his chili challenging

shipmates we have to pretend that we

have the plague we get on board the

flying dustman they all jump ship in

front and we make off with all their

food and we've got the plague

what a good idea what if they have no

food on the flying dosman captain do you

suppose they'll have a kipper they

always have mountains of food why they

even have a cook

that's the ticket enough there's plenty

more he's very yummy

scrummy

what what is it it's rafi

very very yams when my little jakey hair

was a baby rat and a poohy were his

favorite food followed

[Music]

quiet

[Music]

now for a tot of grogg and gunpowder to

finish off that delicious dinner oh yeah

right sport uh todd of groggle going

down a tree give me a toast oh yes yes i

like you idiots it's like we got to

propose a toast to the chef maker to the

chef to the chef and toast

the chefs

[Music]

but we have got the plague

see

they have got the flying queen

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

so you've got the plague have you we'll

drink to that won't we

spots run away happy

season

entire map

[Music]

mr maid jonah willy i'm back

uh oh

so we'll just let you starve to death on

our ship then shall we

then we can take full charge of the

black pig for good and all

yeah

yeah get here oh boy

papa

wait a minute what's this i'm going to

die

you worry my little cheeky wakey you're

[Music]

don't you worry captain there is no

plague in portobello it was just a hoax

how can it be tom look at this dreadful

sight before us no there really was a

rat in there rather poor better what

[Music]

well i never how did a rat get in my

rana

let's get home i've got a splendid

breakfast ready for you

ratta pooy poisoning haha

alrighty

worry my little jakey winky mummy's here

just as well i had that brilliant idea

about the spots me hearties otherwise

we'd never have seen little

jakey wakey

get his comeuppance

you were a grand idea captain oh

one of your best all i can say is thank

goodness we don't ever cook tom set a

plate of sizzling sausages in front of

his captain and said

nothing

[Music]

you