01x04 - Monster Ahoy

[bunniefuu]

tom ladd bring me my navigation table

hey what captain

master mate me chart please

one shot as requested captain pirates

willie barnabas me compass and dividers

please

thank you

now

holding the chart down with the compass

thus

and taking the dividers firmly in the

right hand

we shut the eyes tightly and find our

position

thus

amazing what one can do with modern

scientific instruments

[Music]

the fact was that captain pugwash was

lost

not only lost but be calmed as well

no breath of wind stirred the sails and

even if it had the captain hadn't the

faintest idea which way to sail

in actual fat cappy i could tell you

exactly where we are indeed masturbate

how so

we are here where it says beware of sea

monsters and what leads you to that

conclusion

because if you look over your shoulder

cavity you will observe a dirty great

sea monster battling barnacles

oh

what's it want captain food i should

think

hey

i reckon that means josh

no no willie that's not a man-eating

monster

let's try it with some ship's biscuits

look a careful tom landed it out don't

go too close

there

it seems to like that

and that's given me an idea cam

suppose you take another box of biscuits

and a length of rope

let the others hoist you up the mast

out along the yard arm

and lower you onto the monster's head

then you can dangle the biscuits in

front of its nose like a carrot in front

of a donkey

the monster will chase the biscuits and

we put a tow rope on its tail

and uh away we go eh

excellent tom uh only i think it would

be better if uh you did the uh oh no

captain i've got to keep the monster

happy with my concertina

very well

[Music]

right out to the end of the yard um

[Music]

look out captain

oh that's called it he's peter gotta got

it all the dog way round

never mind the results are same

now all we need to do is to get this

rope onto the monster's tail

like that

[Music]

suffering seaweed said the captain as he

sat sometime later in his cabin

i feel like a really sumptuous supper

after all that excitement

huh

you look like being a really sumptuous

supper for the monster

for tom as he gazed out of the window

the black pig was safely at anchor and

the monster was enjoying its supper too

maybe it's just as well some sea

monsters

are vegetarian

[Music]