04x06 - Pirates Life/World Record

[bunniefuu]

♪ Watch out, 'cause here we come ♪

♪ It's been a while,
but we're back with style ♪

♪ So get set to have some fun ♪

♪ We'll bring you action
and satisfaction ♪

♪ We're the Chipmunks ♪

♪ Alvin, Simon, Theodore ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

{\an8}♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

We've got ye cornered,
ye scurvy dog!

[gasps] Oh, no!

How... How's he gonna
get out of this one?

Oh, come on, Theodore.
It's pirate 101!

He's gonna cut that main jib.
Bam!

Punch that dude in the nose.

And then "whish",
go flying up into the air.

Gentlemen, I'm afraid
you're about to discover

something very important.

No one corners
the great Captain Hooknose!

Wow, Alvin! It... it happened
exactly like you said!

You know,
you really should be a pirate.

That's right, matey.
I was born in the wrong century.

Yeah. And it probably helps

that you've seen the movie
three times before.

-[phone rings]
-Oh, guys, it's Dave.

Here. Here.
I'll put it on speaker.

Oh, hey, Dave! What's up?

[inaudible through static]

Dave, are you there?
We're having a hard time hearing you.

Treasure...
front porch... protect!

[line goes dead]

Looks like he lost our signal.

Here. Let me try.

Theodore, what are you doing?

It's OK, Simon.

It's a technique called
"Static Butt Antenna".

See,
you just rub it on your butt

and then... Dave?
Are you there? Dave?

Static Butt Antenna?
That's ridiculous!

Who ever told you that...?

Never mind.

Huh! Still no signal.

Here's your phone back, Simon.

Guys, what was Dave saying?

"Treasure" and "front porch"?

I'm sure we heard him wrong,
but let's go have a look.

[gasps]

Is... is it real?

It looks authentic.

Of course it's real.
That's why Dave said to protect it.

Look, look, look, right here.
It says, A. Milnard.

h*, h*! I am on it!

OK, here we go.
"Augustus Milnard.

Born 1843. Died 1892.
A notorious pirate."

Oh! It goes on to say

that his pirate booty
is hidden all over the world!

His butt?

No, Theodore,
not his butt, his treasure.

Guys, we are about to be rich
beyond our wildest imagination!

Oh! Open it! Open it!

I can't. It's locked!

Should I try
to rub it on my butt?

-No.
-[door opens slowly]

Simon, did you happen
to lock the front door?

Oh, I thought Theodore
was gonna do it.

Yeah. I thought I was gonna do it too.
But then...

I didn't.

Oh, I'm sure it's just the wind.

But why don't we
just go close it?

[thunder]

Um... You know, after you.

Hello? Anybody home?

A little birdy told me
yeh've got a treasure chest

and I'd like to take a look at it.

It's a pirate!
A real, live pirate!

What's he doing here?

Clearly he's after our treasure!

[gasps] What do we do?

The back door! Come on!

The stairs! Stairs! Go! Go!

Let's go.

Oh, no.
I think they're coming up!

[Alvin] Come on! Out the window!

Wait. I'll be right back.

What are you doing?

When I get scared,
I have to go pee!

Now?

-[flushing]
-Yes! Finally!

Oh, oh, wait, wait.
I forgot to wash my hands.

Now he becomes sanitary?

[pirate] Let's check upstairs.

Hurry! Hurry!

Ah! There yeh are!

Why doncha give us a look
at that treasure?

-Jump!
-[all] Aaah!

Don't you make this difficult,
boys!

No, you!
You don't make this difficult!

No, you!

No, you!

Stop arguing with them,
Theodore.

-They're pirates!
-Well, what do we do?

If they wanna fight,
we'll give 'em a fight.

Hoist the scrinch!
Prepare the long-knives!

Set the top sails!

[Chipmunk song playing]

[screaming]

Enough of this foolishness!

It's time
you show us that treasure!

h*, h*, h*!
That's never gonna happen. Ever!

[ship creaks]

Uh-oh!

[pirates] Aaah!

[Alvin] Jump!

[pirates] Aaah!

What? Oh, no!

Oh, no!

What in the world?

Dave! Dave! We did it!

With a little help
from Mother Nature.

Wait. Wait. What did you do?

We protected your treasure, Dave!
Just like you asked!

Yeah! And we caught the pirates
who were trying to steal it!

Oh. OK. Well, thanks, guys.

[muffled]

People!
Are we going to just gloss over

the most important thing here?

We have real pirates
sitting in our back yard!

I mean,
how does this even happen?

Did some sort
of wormhole open up

or did they get caught up
in a time stream?

Or... or maybe we're looking
at a mirror universe

where everyone's a pirate!

Yeah, or maybe it's just two guys
dressed up like pirates.

Well, yeah, that's...
you know, that's a possibility.

Yeah, but your ideas
were good too, Simon.

Thanks, Theodore.

-Hey, Pete. Sorry, Stan.
-Hey, Dave.

Wait. Hold on.
You know these guys?

Yeah. This is Pete and Stan.

We met online a long time ago,

-when we were bidding for...
-Albert Milnard's

-Toy Box of Pirates!
-Arr!

Toy Box?

Yeah. Take a look.

Oh, cool!

You mean this bunch of dumb,
plastic toys!

Uh, I mean... dumb.

They're not dumb.

My grandpa bought 'em for me
when I was a little kid.

Oh, that... that's sweet.

Yeah,
and then I lost 'em in a move.

Sad.

So, when I saw 'em online,
I had to have them.

But they tried to steal them!

-We never said steal.
-Yeah.

We was trying
to get a look at 'em.

Then why are you dressed up
like pirates?

Why are you guys
dressed up like pirates?

We're kids. It's what we do.
What's your excuse?

-Uh, Pirate-Con.
-Pirate-Con?

The big pirate convention.
We dress up for it every year.

-And we go big.
-Sure, you get some looks.

But everybody wants
their picture with you, so...

Kinda cool.

This may be cool for you,
but it's not cool for us!

We thought we were gonna be
really, really, rich.

These toys are quite valuable.

Let me tell you,
in the pirate community,

-this is a real treasure.
-You OK, Pete?

Sure. I'm fine.
It was actually kinda fun.

Except for, you know,
all the falling.

There was a lot of falling.
I think I may have a concussion.

Oh, yeah. Sorry about that.

-Oh, don't worry about it.
-You know something, Dave?

You'll never have to worry
about these kids.

These guys
can take care of themselves.

[chuckles]
Yeah, I know they can.

I'm gonna, uh...
I'm gonna lie down.

I think I may have a concussion.

Um... you just said that, Pete.

When?

You don't think it was the popcorn
I threw on him, do you?

No, that wasn't the problem.

You know what? I'll just drive you
down to the Emergency Room.

Uh, I don't want to alarm you,

but I think I may have a concussion.

Oh! Dave! Dave! Hold on!

What are you doing, Alvin?

Will you please just relax?

I'm trying to see what I can get
for this junk online.

I don't want to sell it.
I just got it!

Bam!
PegLeg144 just made an offer!

Alvin! I'm not interested!

OK, Pete. Here we go.
Here we go, I got you.

OK. I think I have a concussion.

Oh! Oh! Wait. Wait.

Barnacle Le Butt
wants to buy it too!

h*, h*! We've got a bidding w*r!

[screams] No!

Dave. No, no. This is so easy.

All you have to do
is put your finger right there...

right on "Accept"!
I accept!

Alvin, please!

It's wonderful
that you got a special love

for this childhood junk that Pap-pap
gave to you, OK?

But you're too close to it!
Too emotionally attached!

Be quiet, Alvin!

I've already got Barnacle Butthead
and Peg-leg Pete

and a bunch of other idiots
just...

willing to pay good money
for this plastic garbage!

Alvin, be quiet!

Dave! Dave! Don't drive off now!
Please! Let me handle this!

Excuse me,
where' your surfboard wax?

Oh, wait. What are these?

Oh, dude, those are special

limited-edition
virtual-reality goggles.

[gasps] Oh, oh! Cool!

Hi. Um, excuse me, but do you
sell any cute helmets?

But cute ones that aren't
gonna push my hair down?

Oh, oh, oh!

What are those?

Oh, man! Oh, man!

Hey! Brittany!

I was about to fly into
the mouth of a k*ller whale!

Oh, no! How tragic!
I'm so sorry!

Your time was up, Alvin,
and it's my turn.

-[squeals]
-I just gotta have them.

I can pay you $10 a month for,
well, the rest of my life.

Oh, sorry, man.
They're not for sale.

Why not?

I'm gonna use 'em to promote my store.
Check it out.

"Break a world's record.
Win virtual-reality goggles."

-This is fantastic!
-[squeals]

Could you do me a favour
and keep this from Brittany?

She doesn't need to know and,
between you and me,

she'll never break
a world record.

I can hear everything
you're saying, Alvin.

[squeals]

And if... if you can break
a world record, so can I...

And, sir,
does it have to be sports related?

You know, I'd prefer it,
but it doesn't have to be!

She couldn't do it
if her life depended on it.

I can still hear you.

And just so you know,
I can beat you all day long.

Whatever. May the best man win.

Well, that's gonna be hard,

'cause it's gonna be a woman,
Alvin. Me!

Oh! I love this!

Guys, if we can break
a world's record,

we will win the coolest
virtual-reality goggles

-you ever saw!
-No.

Me too. I mean, no.

Like... like Simon.

I don't want to either.
I mean...

OK. I understand, all right?

But that's because
you haven't experienced it!

I'm telling you! Just try putting
those goggles on, all right?

And if that doesn't change your mind,
like, immediately,

I won't ask again!

Ugh! Fine.

I'm fine, too.
Well, I mean, like...

Yes, Theodore.
I understand. Like Simon.

OK? I got it.

[Brittany] Please, guys!

Sounds like a nightmare.

Just... just try the goggles
and... and then decide.

Oh! This is incredible!

Oh! Aren't you so cute?

Come here. Come here.
I won't hurt you.

And... thank you very much,
Jeanette. You're done.

Uh... It's my turn.

[gasps] This is amazing!

[screams] Woohoo!

This is awesome!

-Hey!
-I believe it's my turn.

Oh! This is fantastic!

My turn.

[gasps] Wait!
I don't want to be in space!

How...
how do I get back to Earth?

OK, little dudes, that's enough!

I got a line of customers
waiting for their turn.

And they want to break
a world record too.

Help! I... I'm lost in space!

-Theodore, you're fine.
-Well, I... I wasn't fine.

Remember, kids.
The contest closes in three days.

Oh, I'll be back before then
to collect my goggles.

-Right, guys?
-Yeah. We're in.

Yeah. In your dreams!

We've got this, guys.

"James Janosek
spent 45 minutes and 7 seconds

buried up to his chest
in a mound of ice."

Ooh! OK, that's...
that sounds miserable.

"Patricia Cone spent two hours
in a tub full of 87 snakes."

OK, very brave.

"The world's largest
ice-cream scoop was measured

at 6 feet 4 inches long
in Italy."

Well, that makes sense.
They invented gelato.

Simon,
we've got to think of something

no one has ever attempted before.

Alvin, I'm only interested
if we attempt safe, reasonable,

non-extreme world records.

Oh, Simon, you are k*lling me!

But, look, as long as we get
a world's record,

I don't care
how lame or safe it is.

OK. Good. Then, I'm in.

[Chipmunks song playing]

Aaah!

-Oh, I'm getting dizzy.
-Be quiet, Theodore.

We only have a few more minutes.

-What's a few?
-28.

Ugh! This is so lame!

[Eleanor] Ow! Stop pulling!

Would you sit still?

We're halfway
to making a world record.

Jeanette, are those idiots
still standing on their heads

eating pudding?

-Yeah.
-That's got to be the stupidest idea

for a world record ever!

Yeah. Or the second stupidest.

Keep it together, guys.
We gotta crush the girls!

Aaah!

Oopsie! Sorry!

These darned rubber bands
keep slipping from my fingers.

Ow!

Ugh! Alvin!

Oh, no! Sorry, guys.
It just slipped out of my hands.

Oh, great!
Now, we have to start all over!

What's the point?
We're never gonna win this way!

We've got to do something
that grabs people's attention!

Simon, look, OK?

We tried it your way, all right?

It was lame!
We're wasting our time!

-We've got to do some...
-I agree.

Wait. What?

You're right. We have to just
step it up if we're gonna win.

Yes! Yes!
Thank you, Simon. Thank you!

Well, then,
what are we gonna do?

Hmm. I might just have an idea.

[Eleanor] Ugh! Gosh,
this is so gross and sticky!

-I have to wash this out.
-No!

Eleanor,
you'll ruin all my work!

Guys, let's face it.

A thousand braids is as stupid
as eating pudding upside down.

Hmm. But something with pudding
is not a bad idea.

OK, so, OK,
I see, there... to that...

So, you're saying
you use a giant slingshot

to launch me through the air
and... what?

I'll land in the lake
at the park?

Yeah, 'cause that's where
the competition is being judged.

So, I'll be flying
for about two miles?

Yeah, OK, I get... bad idea.

Oh, Simon. Simon. I love it!

[Eleanor] OK, hold on.

We make a giant mould
of... of pudding?

-Yeah! The biggest ever!
-Ew!

A giant mould of pudding?

That sounds gross.

Yeah, but in our likeness.

Ooh! That sounds cool!

OK, Alvin, step in.

Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to what we hope will be

a World Record Day! And best of luck
to all you contestants!

[Jeanette] OK, guys,
this looks like a good spot.

Now we just have to
get it out of the mould

and stand it upright.

OK, here we go.

All right, and then a little
this way and then... perfect!

This should put you
right in the middle of the lake.

OK, now let's pull
the backing off. Careful...

Alvin, all set?

Yes, yes, I'm ready!

Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Geronimo!

What...? No! No!

[screams] Look out!

What? No, no, no, no!

[cries of disgust]

[sobs] No!

Alvin was supposed to text me
and let me know how it went.

[loud squabbling]

Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
You destroyed ours!

Guys! Come on!
Come on now! What's going on?

Oh! Oh, what's going on?

Alvin destroyed our chances
of winning a world record!

Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
You destroyed ours!

[squabbling resumes]

I love this!

OK. Wait. Wait. What?

Hi, little fishy.

This is amazing!

Dave?

David?

Aaah!

Where did you get these?

Well, there was some big contest
in town to break a world record.

Guess who won?

Me!

But how?

First man in the world
to raise singing chipmunks!

How about that?

Then they belong to us!

Come on, give 'em over.
Let's have 'em!

No!

Dave, give them to me!

I won those, guys!

They're mine!

I've got the goggles,
I've got the goggles!

[Dave] Those are mine! Alvin!

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪