04x14 - Best in Shoe/Royal Pain

[bunniefuu]

♪ Watch out, 'cause here we come ♪

♪ It's been a while,
but we're back with style ♪

♪ So get set to have some fun ♪

♪ We'll bring you action
and satisfaction ♪

♪ We're the Chipmunks ♪

♪ Alvin, Simon, Theodore ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

{\an8}♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

-What are they doing?
-Oh, um...

They're checking to see
who got parts in the school play.

What? Why didn't you tell me?

Uh... I think I just did.

Excuse me. Excuse me.
Sorry. Sorry.

Hold still, please.

The lead role will be played
by... Arthur Evans?

That can't be right!
That was my part! I'm the lead!

Um, actually, no, you're not.
See?

Alvin Seville as...
Wait, the shoe cobbler?

[teacher] When you are in character,

you must feel that character.

OK? So if you're playing
a woman from the 1800's, Sandra,

you wouldn't be on your phone!

Mr D! Mr D! There's been a big,
you know, massive,

enormous mistake!

Oh! Rude!

Can you not see I'm teaching?

Oh... Oh... right, right.
Um... But...

this is really important!

Do I look like someone
who makes shoes?

Your little, little hands

are actually very well suited
to the profession.

[chuckles] Well, I'd rather have
little hands than a big mouth.

How could you give the lead
to Arthur? He's terrible!

Ugh! I know! He's the worst!

-You're not the worst!
-Yeah, I'm pretty bad.

-He has something you don't.
-What?

Argh! Arthur is dedicated
to his craft.

He cares about what he does.

You know my former student,
the great actress, Jane Oliver?

-Jane Oliver?
-Ha!

Alvin's had
a crush on her forever!

It's true! It's true!
I'm not gonna deny it!

While we're on the topic
of denying it...

I'm just wondering,
are you saying you had a girl

that looked like Jane Oliver?

Or... come on, let's be serious,

because you didn't teach
Jane Oliver.

Well, I did, OK! Look!

Ugh! The point is,

Jane Oliver is committed, OK?

She's in character for a whole year
if she needs to be!

-I can do that!
-Yeah, right, Alvin.

You couldn't
stay in character for a day!

I could stay in character
for an entire decade if I wanted to!

Ooh! Drama senses are tingling!

Alvin, you commit to your role
for the next two weeks,

and I will give you the lead
in the next play.

No! You promised
we'd do Cleopatra next,

and I could play the lead!

Oh, I promised you we'd do Cleopatra...
Oh! So what?

Things change, Brittany!
That's the theatre!

-You'll never do it.
-h*, h*, h*! You wanna bet?

You're on!

I know where you hid
the diamonds.

OK, gather around.

I have a very important
announcement to make.

Alvin has been challenged
to stay in character for two weeks,

and if he does,
he'll take everything I've worked for!

So, if you see him act
out of character for one millisecond,

you need to tell me!

I'm relying on you. Thank you.

What does she mean by character?

Step right up
for a super deep clean!

Excuse me?

Or how about a welt replacement, yes?
You have bunions?

What are you talking about?

I could even make you
a little taller.

Look more like a man,
not this little, little boy

standing in front of me.
You like?

-Alvin, stop it.
-No, no, no, no, no!

My name is [a lot of gibberish],

the world's best shoemaker!

-You! Tuddy! Come!
-I'm his chosen apprentice!

Theodore, do you have any idea
what that means?

Uh... not, not really.

Oh, man, how long
is this supposed to last?

Well, uh... she said
till the end of production.

Oh, this'll be fun.

So, young man, you want to know
how I shine shoes?

-Please, no!
-The secret ingredient is spit.

A big, big gob of spit.

[gathers spit in his mouth]

Please! We're trying to eat!

What? It's called a spit shine.

And do you know how I became
a world-famous cobbler?

My technique.

Oh, really? Uh-huh.

And why don't you tell us
how you make shoes?

How I make shoes?

Yeah, you know.
This famous "technique" of yours.

Oh. Well,
I take a stick of leather.

-A stick?
-Yes, you fool, a stick!

And I hold it over the foot of the client
and I hammer it.

Dat-dat-dat-dat-dat! Done!
And I have a perfect shoe!

[scoffs] You hammer it
right onto their foot?

I don't need these questions!
I've crafted shoes for royalty!

The king! The queen!

The baby king! The baby queen!
The little baby king junior!

Hey! I don't care
what you've crafted,

we don't bang the table!

Dave. Dave. Very true.

I get a bit ruffled when my art
is under attack from plagrants!

Did he call me a plagrant?
What is that?

Nothing. He's out of his mind.

OK. Alvin, can you just please
tone down your character

-during dinner?
-Why call me Alvin?

Alvin, do this! Alvin do that!

My name is [gibberish]

and I am a genius!

[sighs]

[Alvin shouting gibberish]

Alvin, you can't turn
our bedroom into a cobbler station.

Ha! Look at this!
A masterpiece! Yes?

I don't know
what that thing is, OK?

But it's definitely
not a masterpiece.

It's not even a shoe.

What am I supposed to do
with the cheap materials

in this new-fangled,
bupkis country of yours, huh?

I'm sorry. What?

Don't be upset.

At least you have your assistant.

Yes, Tuddy. Kind, kind Tuddy.

Well, all right. Whatever.
It's time for bed.

Yes, maybe for you.
But not for me.

I'm in a different time zone.

[yawning]
Does... does that mean I am too?

No, Theodore, it does not.

Fine. Fine.
You go to bed, little Tuddy.

I work tonight like a true artist!
Alone like a wolf!

I don't want to ask,
but I feel like I have to.

-What are you doing?
-Shh!

I'm going to catch Alvin
out of character.

-And when I do...
-[yawning] OK, well, good luck.

-Oh! Gotcha!
-Aaah!

[Theodore keeps screaming]

[gibberish]

OK, that's total gibberish.

You're just making up
fake words!

I will have you know
that is the tongue of my country!

Out, annoying girl!
Out of my sight!

[gasps]
But what are you wearing?

Those shoes!
They have no arch support!

How can you walk like that?

I'm going to catch you
out of character, Alvin!

And that's a promise!

[Chipmunk song playing]

I can't wait to see
Alvin's performance.

We'll finally get to see
what all that work was for.

-Alvin!
-That's not my name.

Ooh! Still in character, I see.

OK, enough small talk.
You're up in three, two, one...

[whispers] Oh, there he is.

May I interest you
in this lovely pair of shoes?

-Um, no, thank you.
-Very well, and good evening.

That... that's it?

No way! What?

Maybe he's coming back?

You were excellent!

You keep that up
for one more day

and next year
the lead role is yours!

As a simple shoe cobbler,
I have no idea

what you are talking about.
But I like the passion,

yes, the passion,
in which you speak!

[applause]

-Did... did I miss anything?
-Nope.

Students, gather!

I have a surprise guest
for you to meet!

[all] Jane Oliver!

I don't know.
Could be a lookalike.

[groans]

Ah! Super charmed to meet you,
Miss Oliver.

I loved your work in Shakespeare.

Oh, that's so nice to hear.

You know, I'm a big fan
of yours too, Alvin!

Ha, ha! Oh, well,
isn't that interesting?

-She's a fan of Alvin's.
-Alvin? Who is Alvin?

My name is [gibberish]

and I am shoemaker to the king!
You know that!

You're not Alvin?

Oh, I'm such a big fan. I'd love
to post a selfie of us together.

I'm so sorry.
I am not who you think.

Oh, well. Bye, little shoe man.

OK, bye-bye, little shoe man.

Goodbye.

-So, what will you be doing...
-Excuse me. If you are Alvin,

I'm very impressed
by your dedication.

And if you're
the master shoemaker,

well, I could use your help.

Yes! Whatever you ask!

Well, I have... I don't know.
It seems like 100 pairs of shoes

that need repair.

Would you mind coming
to my house and working on them?

[gasps]
I will be honoured to serve you.

Of course, it may take me
several days and by then,

perhaps, this Alvin person
you speak of from before,

well, maybe he'll return
and you can take that...

A selfie! Oh, I hope so.

Anyway, I'll send a car tomorrow
to pick you up.

What? Wait a sec. Hold on!
What just happened, Alvin?

No, no. That's not my name.

You know, um... she said

there were lots and lots of shoes to fix
and, you know,

you're gonna need an assistant.

Aw, so sweet.
But no, I have one. Thank you.

Oh! No, no.
She can have the job.

Tuddy, you have been trained.
It's too late to teach her.

OK.

Oh! Please!
Please, Alvin! please!

Ah! Not my name.

[shouts gibberish name]

Ellie, would you please
hand me that hairbrush?

Um... You mean
the one right next to you?

Still drying.

Here ya go! Would Your Majesty
also like, I don't know,

a foot rub
or a cold beverage perhaps?

Not if you're going to throw it at me!

But I would love some hot tea!
Thank you!

Seriously?

Jeanette, sweetie,
I hate to ask this,

but since I can't see,

would you mind reading
this magazine article to me?

I just love the way you do
all the different voices.

Oh, um, yeah, OK, sure.

"Tired of face cream
that leaves your skin feeling...?"

Uh, Jeanette,

that's the ad.
Don't read that part.

Oh, oh, OK. Yeah.

[gasps]
This is sort of interesting.

What? What is?

This article is about a princess
who went missing years ago

when she was just a little baby.

And her family has been
looking for her ever since,

but no one knows
where she might be.

She probably doesn't know
she's a princess.

"What we know
about Princess B.

Strawberry blonde hair,
bright blue eyes,

small... small heart-shaped
scar on her left foot."

-Jeanette!
-What?

This is me!
I'm the missing royal princess!

Even the part about the scar!

Look! What does this scar
look like to you?

Oh! Um, a little hummingbird
or... Oh! A little butterfly.

No! No, it doesn't!
It's a heart, Jeanette!

It's obviously a heart.

I've had it since I was a baby.

-What did I miss?
-Um... well, uh...

Brittany's a long-lost princess,
apparently.

Well, of course she is.
Your tea, Madame.

Ah! What? What is that?

[gasps] Guys! Guys! Look!

There's candlelight vigil
at the Chipette treehouse.

Oh, that. Haven't you heard?

Brittany's a princess!

Oh, come on.

-Didn't you get her email?
-No, I changed the settings

so all her emails
go straight to the trash.

The whole school's
been talking about this.

Brittany's telling everyone
she's a descendant of the crown.

What?

Here, here. Watch this.

To all my dear friends
and townspeople...

Are you kidding? Townspeople?

This probably won't come
as much of a shock

to those of you who know me,
but I have recently discovered

that I am of royal blood.

You see, I went missing
from the palace as a very young...

If Brittany's a princess
then I'm King of Everything.

It's funny, because I've always had
very vivid dreams

about living in this castle
surrounded by swans.

And now I know they must have been
very early childhood memories.

Oh, that's so cool!

Wow. That's so... unbelievable.

Oh, I am so jelly.
I wish I was a princess!

Uh, what's... what's jelly?

Uh, jealous. Obvi.

-What's... what's obvi?
-Do you like not speak English?

Ladies, could you just take
all of your jelliness over there

-so I could speak to Brittany?
-Ugh! I'll see you guys later.

OK, look. You've told
some pretty crazy lies in your day,

but pretending to be
a long-lost, missing princess

is a stretch, even for you.

Oh! Sounds like
someone's a little jelly.

And it's not a lie.

I am not jelly!

They're jelly and you're jelly!
But we're getting off track.

You've got no proof
of this princess business, OK?

You know, Alvin,
I don't need to prove myself to you,

or anyone else for that matter,

but if you must know,
I've put in a request

for a confirmation letter
to shut you up.

Oh, right. That's gonna do that.
Well, I'll tell you what.

If you're a real princess,
I'll be your servant

for an entire year.
But, if you're not,

which you're obviously not,
then you have to be mine.

h*, h*, h*! Deal.

Better start working
on your tiara-shining.

Do you guys think I should go by

Princess Britt
or Princess Brittany?

Hey, Britt,
before you get your hopes up

on this whole Princess thing,
how can you be so sure?

Ugh! Once again...

What?

Um, besides the blue eyes
and blonde hair,

it says, um,
she had the voice of an angel

and, um, she, uh...

she loved pink... so, um...

so, obviously,
that's... that's me.

Oh, OK.

[Chipmunk song playing]

-Aaah!
-So, Princess B.

Are you ready
to show me that proof

or are you ready to come clean?

Ha, ha, ha! Oh, Alvin.

I know how much you'd love
to prove me wrong,

but it's never gonna happen,
because my proof has arrived

and it's tucked away in my room
where you'll never find it.

[school bell rings]

I can find anything! OK? OK?

They don't call me
Sleuth Seville for nothing!

Uh, no one calls you that!

And don't you dare
try to find it!

[Brittany] OK! Ready to go!

Spying on the royal family
is ill*gal in most countries.

Oh, OK, so now
bird watching is ill*gal?

Why, it's a pink-footed larry.
Oh, yeah, no, that's it!

-A pink-footed larry!
-First, there's no such bird.

There's no pink-footed larry.

Second, I believe what you are spotting
is a rare sighting

of a "Brittany up before noon
on the weekend."

[giggles] OK! Goodbye, house!
See you in a couple hours!

Guys, do you think it's OK
to leave the house unlocked?

Jeez, man! If this is
your new princess voice,

I think it's a little loud.

h*, h*, h*, h*!
I just got a lucky break!

No.

Nothing.

Yes! "Private. Do not open."

h*, h*, h*! Don't mind if I...

Aaah!

"Your Royal Highness...

your presence is requested
at our annual ball

to honour your coronation
into the royal family."

Wait! Wait! It says here
that Brittany can bring a guest!

Oh, I gotta go to this thing!

So, so, Britt, um, look, um...
Princess or not, you know,

I mean, between a couple
of close friends like us,

-it doesn't even matter!
-What do you want?

Well, my point is, if you are,
you'll need a friend

to go with you to all the royal ba*ls
and such and, I mean...

Uh-huh. I see. And you think
that friend should be you?

Well, well, I mean,
let's just look at the facts.

I mean, A. I'm great at parties.
B. I can charm the pants...

OK, stop. I'll think about it.

[school bell rings]

Oh, so sorry, Princess B.

Oh! No problem.

What?

[school bell rings]

Oh, no, no, no!

[laughter]

Did you see this? What a liar!

-This is so embarrassing!
-Oh, poor Brittany!

She's gonna have to switch schools
or something.

I mean, there's no coming back
from this one.

I don't know, man,
people forget.

Remember, in the school play
when you poo'd yourself,

then started crying
'cause you were so embarrassed,

and then you, like,
ran away and you tripped

-and then your nose started...
-Shut your big mouth!

[quiet sobbing]

[Claire] Here you go!

One for you! Take it!

-OK, what's all this about?
-As it turns out,

our little princess
made the whole thing up.

This article is about a pony!

[laughter]

[Claire] How pathetic!
Like who even does that?

Yeah, well, I don't believe you.

OK, well, see for yourself.

Oh! h*, h*!
This is what you're going off?

Well, guys, the joke's on you.

This article
isn't the one about Brittany.

But you probably
didn't have time to fact-check

since you were all
too busy being jelly-faces!

Oh, you got burned, suckers!

What?

Uh, yeah. And how do we know
you're telling the truth?

Why would I defend her?
I made a bet with Brittany,

so I'd be the last person
to want this to be true.

But, you know, unfortunately
I've seen the proof for myself

and it turns out
she's telling the truth.

Uh... Really?

Oh, hello. Did I hear my name?

Oh, Brittany!
I am, like, so sorry. I wanna die.

Oh! Your Highness, shall we?

I am... ugh... humiliated.

Oh, Alvin, I can't even tell you
how much I appreciate

what you did. But, um...

well, I have to be honest with you
about something.

If this is about the invitation,
I know it was fake.

[gasps] You do? Well, then,
why did you stick up for me?

You know,
it's like with my brothers.

You know, I can t*rture them,
but no one else can.

Oh! I almost forgot!
Speaking of t*rture...

Yeah, yeah, I know. I know.
I'm... I'm your servant.

But, um, how long did we say?

Pretty sure it was ten years.

Oh! Ten years!
Alvin, give me a break!

[shout over each other]

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪