01x02 - Summer of Quehaceres/Summer of La Muñeca

[bunniefuu]

(OPENING THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

- (CAT SNARLING)

- (DOGS BARKING)

(SINGING) Hey! Another day

in my old hood

Summer's starting

and it's gonna be so good

Hey, oh, hey!

I was gonna be so cool

Then you all moved in

And got me looking like a fool, again

CHORUS: Oye, Primos

Why you all up in my face?

CHORUS: Oye, Primos

Get up out my space

CHORUS: Oye, Primos

You're wearing out my brain

You're driving me insane

Not the roll call again

Cousin Bud, Nacho and Lita

Tere, Tabi and Toñita

Scooter, Lotlot and Gordita

Nachito, ChaCha and Lucita

- ALL: Yay

- TATER: No, come on

CHORUS: Oye, Primos

(GRUNTS IN FRUSTRATION)

TATER: "Summer of" I can't say that.

BUELA: Psst. "Quehaceres," sweetie.

TATER: Through the years,

women have carved

their names in history,

one legend at a time.

Each woman had a vision,

and to plan her vision,

each woman had a vision board,

Probably. You know,

a sweet collage of inspiration

to fuel their goals and dreams!

And, diary, I have

so many dreams for the Summer of Tater.

My vision board is going to be

(READING)

(STOMACH GROWLS)

Yup, a vision board.

Right after breakfast!

(ALL CHOMPING)

Tia Bibi spins the huevos rancheros.

She eyes Lita's plato.

She shoots and

Goal!

(ALL CHEERING)

(CHEERING CONTINUES)

Dang! Mom looks happy

this morning.

(GASPS)

Fancy cereal!

We never get this!

(SIGHS) Ah, fancy cereal

for the guests.

Yep, plenty of gruel, though.

(GROANS)

- LUCITA: Thanks, Tia!

- NACHITO: What're we doin' today?

Welp, I'm off to visionize! See ya.

Huddle up, Team Humphrey!

With the primos here,

we all have to step up to be good hosts.

Good hosts?

Yes, sweetie!

Clean up after our guests,

keep them entertained,

and make sure they're comfy!

- (YELPS)

- Too bad you didn't visionize this.

But we didn't invite them over!

Yo se, hija.

I invited them! And that's why

we're going to split the duties.

I'll handle all the entertainment,

and you girls can start

by washing the dishes.

Helpful Humphreys

keep guests clean and comfy!

Are we married to that motto?

Why can't we do the entertainment?

Because I already

have it planned, hijitas!

There's gonna be all sorts of fun stuff!

Now who's on dish duty?

I volunteer to fold socks!

Here. Good teams need

good communication.

I guess this is kinda fun.

Helpful Humphreys

keep guests clean and comfy!

If you're lookin' for comfy

Look no further than Humphrey!

- (BABBLES)

- What's that, Baby Bud?

You wanna help your big sis?

(BABY BUD GURGLING)

(CHUCKLES)

(GIGGLES)

Huh. These name-brand boxes

are so sturdy.

You'll make a great base

for my vision board!

Off to my lair!

Whoa!

(YELPS)

Done already? Great.

I need you to pick up

the mess in the hallway.

I'd ask Nellie to do it,

pero la pobre,

she's swamped with laundry duty!

Yeah, I'm sure she is.

I'm so proud of both of my girls

for being such Helpful Humphreys!

I'm off to arts and crafts!

Happy little trees!

- Oh, Nellie

- (GIGGLING)

(SHRIEKS)

(NELLIE SLURPING)

Does this look like navy

or deep cerulean?

- (DOOR OPENS)

- I knew it!

You're fake working!

Me? I'm just doing my duty.

And kinda getting into it!

Looks like you have to enjoy

those chores all by yourself.

Well, "socks" to be you!

(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

BIBI: Hay que limpiar

Hay que limpiar Clean it all up

Mom!

TATER: Here's a song for you

if you hate to do chores

Everybody knows they're a bore

But the primos stay

messin' up the hallway

Then Mama comes

asking for favores like

Hay que limpiar, Hay que limpiar

Clean it all up

Ugh! Mom!

Don't you know

I've got a life to live?

And don't you know

I've given all I got to give and

Mom, please you're k*lling me

Sing along if you agree

chores stink

CHORUS: Hay que limpiar, hay que limpiar

Clean it all up!

All I got to say is

(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

CHORUS: Hay que limpiar, hay que limpiar

Clean it all up!

Every single day like

(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

CHORUS: Hay que limpiar, hay que limpiar

Clean it all up!

Everybody in the place make

sounds with your mouth

If you hate cleaning house

but your mom insists you must

CHORUS: Clean it all up!

(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

Okay. (SIGHS) Finally done.

Now I can get

back to my vision board.

- BIBI: Double, double toil and trouble!

- Huh?

Fire burn and cauldron bubble!

Out, you darn spot.

And that concludes Act five!

(ALL CHEERING)

- That was fanatic.

- I did not see that coming.

Oh, Tater, ay ¡que bueno!

I have a big favor to ask.

(GRUNTS) Yes?

Well, since you've been

so helpful I think (STAMMERS)

(IMITATING LADY SOCK-BETH)

I mean, Lady Sock thinks that

you can handle

the toughest chore yet, ¡el bano!

The closet?

No, hija,

(DISTORTED) the bathroom!

(YELLS) The bathroom?

Mom, I've been

looking everywhere for that sock!

(WHIMPERING)

Tater, porfis.

You see how swamped Nellie is.

Can I count on you

to be a Helpful Humphrey?

Aw, I need a new Lady Sock-Beth.

(IN PIRATE VOICE)

Fishing for pairs, Fishing for pairs.

(GROANS)

Nellie, we need to talk!

Shh! You'll spook the pairs!

Uh You okay?

Listen, I'm looking

for a great white crew sock.

Like this one?

No, that's a gold toe! (GROANS)

I was just trying to get out of work.

But now,

I just want to seek the white

in the sea of blue.

Gentlemen, it's been an honor.

Guess the bathroom's all on me.

- TABI: Bath b*mb! (GIGGLES)

- Toñita: Hi, Tater!

(GASPS)

The T-Sisters and their spa days!

(ALL LAUGHING)

Hahaha! You can't hide!

Wow! I'm glad the primos

get fun Bibi!

Mom wants a Helpful Humphrey.

I'll show her

a Helpful Humphrey!

I'm going to help this Humphrey!

I'll just pretend to work.

That's genius, Tater!

Thanks, Holographic Vision Tiger!

There, nearly done! Pretty, huh?

Why, it's just as pretty

as a picture, Tater!

But it sure is empty.

Well, by the end of

the Summer of Tater,

I will be new

and improved and, um, improved, and

Hmm. Sounds like your vision board

doesn't have much of a vision.

Objection!

TATER: Ugh, a mop?

Save that for Bibi!

I bet filling mom's

vision board would be so easy.

It would be all about cleaning

and being a good host!

BIBI: Hey, being a good host

is important!

I'm cleaning, I'm cleaning!

BIBI: I mean I love hosting,

but, oh, Bud,

I'm not sure I can keep going!

No, no, no, no, guerito,

I'm just so exhausted.

I already went through

all my ideas for entertainment!

Si, even Lady Sock-Beth!

- (THUDS)

- (BIBI SOBS)

But she had

the longest list ever! Didn't she?

I was so excited to have

all of the primos here for the summer,

but it's a lot of work

para una persona.

If it wasn't for Tater's help,

I don't know what I'd do.

I guess Mom does need my help.

I could try to clean up a little

- (BANGING ON DOOR)

- BIG NACHO: Open up, it's an emergency!

Uh, hang on!

BIG NACHO: Por fa! I gotta go!

But I'm cleaning!

I'll help clean later!

But you gotta let me in now,

or there will be an even

bigger mess to clean!

Ugh, TMI. Fine, come in.

(DOOR SLAMS)

(RUMBLING)

Phew!

Oh, no, no, no!

(BELLS CHIMING)

Wait. You actually cleaned?

Sure, it's no big for Big Nacho!

These corner spots could

probably use some of my famous musculo.

Hey, I wanna clean tambien!

Aw, you're such a copycat, hermanito.

But hop on!

So, you don't mind cleaning?

Hey! We were raised right!

¡Claro! We're good guests!

Good guests, huh?

It's time for everyone to be

a Helpful Humphrey.

So what I'm asking is, uh,

how good of a guest can you be?

Oh, we always get a five-star

guest rating everywhere we go!

Well, then, you can get

a five-star guest rating

at Casa Humphrey, too.

ALL: Ooh!

COUSIN BUD: I made

this cleaner myself.

It's all natural.

Thanks, Cousin Bud.

That's a spooky

good job. (CHUCKLES)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Perfect form!

Cleared for takeoff.

(BANGS)

Nice!

Stick around! (GRUNTS)

BOTH: Yay! (GIGGLING)

(CHUCKLING)

Hija, is the blindfold

really necessary?

No, it isn't.

(CLEARS THROAT)

And now, I present to you

(GASPS)

the Helpful Humphreys

Chore Chart

Now with 100% more primos!

(CRYING)

Not the reaction I was expecting.

No, no, no, no, this is great, Tater.

(CRYING LOUDER)

I am just so happy!

This is such a clever idea.

You really stepped up

for me today!

Well, honestly, I just wanted

more time to focus

on my vision board.

Wait, you were trying to make

a vision board today?

Yup. Speaking of which,

do we have any more

old cereal boxes?

No, Tater.

Your vision board deserves supplies

that are as special as you!

In fact, I've been

saving something for you.

Wow, Ma, you're giving me

your fancy art box?

It's your fancy art box now, Tater.

And maybe this board's big enough

for all your hopes and dreams!

Bravissima!

Thanks, Mom!

But, you know, it wasn't all me.

Everyone's helping now!

(SCREAMS) Hey, primos!

New chores are up!

- ALL: Whoo! Yeah!

- BIG NACHO: Musculo time!

Hey, where's Nellie's name?

Actually, where's Nellie?

Phew. What a day!

Glad to be home for some

peace, quiet, and sanity.

- (DOOR RUMBLES)

- Avast, ye landlubber!

(TRUCK STARTING)

Whoo-hoo-hoo! Arr! I've gotcha!

(TATER READING)

TATER: Tater log. Day five.

Another endless barrage of noise,

smells, toenail clippings and

(FART RESONATES)

Ugh. Bodily functions.

Diary, my beloved,

I fear I won't last much

longer in the midst of this

Primo pandemonium!

(COUSINS LAUGHING)

COUSIN BUD:

Little plant babies.

(COUSINS LAUGHING)

(CRASHING)

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

(YELLS)

TABI: Hey! Who moved my conditioner?

BIG NACHO: Come on. Totally.

Nowhere is safe.

How is a cute little dreamer gonna dream

when she can't catch a gosh darn wink?

(SCREAMING) It says "Do not Disturb"!

Ooh.

Hi, Buela.

Hi. (SPEAKING SPANISH)

Like you got the mal de ojo on you.

Mal de whatso?

The evil eye. A curse.

Buela, I don't believe

in curses anymore.

I'm on the path to my final form.

Childhood superstitions

are not becoming

of a wise logical woman

of advanced years.

(LAUGHS) Aren't you nine?

Exagerada.

That's basically a decade.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

Grey hairs.

Ow! Knock it off.

(GROANS)

I just need some peace and quiet.

(THUDDING)

(COUSINS SCREAMING)

(GRUNTS) Tengo dolor de cabeza

with all this racket.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

- (CRASHING)

- (COUSINS SCREAMING)

GORDITA: Unfortunate.

Hiss!

(COUSINS SCREAMING)

(WHIMPERS) It's over.

So quiet.

- Are these things on?

- (CLINKING)

Hey, Lotlot,

where'd everyone go?

No one wanted to join my tea party.

Guess it'll just be me and Dolly.

Dolly?

(CHITTERS)

(SCREAMS)

I mean, uh, what's her name?

I just told you. It's Dolly.

It's right there on her tombstone.

EERIE VOICE: Dolly!

Everyone leaves me alone

when I bring her out to play.

Is that so?

ALL: Tater, play with us.

Back, primos!

(SCREAMING)

Me and Dolly, I guess

we're kind of a lot-lot. (CHUCKLES)

I wanna play with Dolly!

But me and Dolly

were having quality time.

Quality time.

You know, my mom told me

that this summer is all about

getting quality time with the primos.

And it's true for you too, Lotlot.

Why don't you

spend some "QT" with those cuties?

You never know what you'll learn

about yourself, or something like that.

And I can watch Dolly for you.

Eh? Nyeh?

Okay. You can watch Dolly.

- Yes!

- But there are rules.

Dolly hates being alone, so you have to

keep her near you at all times.

Easy, we'll be (CHUCKLING)

so inseparable.

You also have to

brush her hair exactly 100 times a night

or the spiders will come out.

Lastly, never, ever

let Dolly lay down on her side.

Why?

It reminds her of the time

she was buried alive. (ECHOES)

(GASPS)

Do you understand the rules?

Y-y-yes, totally.

Now, go be the social butterfly

I see under that crusty chrysalis.

Go fly, Lotlot, fly!

We're gonna do great things

together, Dolly-o.

(TATER READING)

(BLOWS RASPBERRY AND CHUCKLES)

Oh, Dolly, you jokesie little,

uh, jokester.

(GRUNTING) Aqui estas.

We got some new hairdos

to try on you, Tateroo.

Can you do one

for Dolly, too?

(ALL GASPING)

(CHUCKLES) Up top.

(GAGS) Why? (GROANS)

Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go.

DOLLY: Occupied.

(YELPS) Never mind, man.

The backyard is

nature's toilet. (GROANS)

Tater time, and it feels so good!

(GASPS) Refreshed, unburdened.

You've earned it, my friend.

(GROANS)

(ALL LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

TATER: Here's Dolly!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(SIGHS) The sweet sound

of silence and solitude,

all thanks to you.

(CHUCKLES) You're a total doll.

Now, stand guard while

I sketch up some fan art of future me.

Oh, that's good.

But it needs some more glitter

on the robot arm though.

Oh, my apologies, Dolly!

Wait, weren't you

over there? How'd you

Tater, you've got the

mal de ojo on you.

Ojo, ojo, ojo.

¡Tonta! Ojo means eye.

Eye? (GASPS)

DOLLY: (WHISPERING) I see you.

(SCREAMS) I mean, uh,

maybe I'm too old for dolls.

You know, as a wise logical

woman of advanced years.

Now, back to the robot arm.

DOLLY: Let me out.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Just the wind.

DOLLY: Let me out!

Oh, gosh, it's real drafty in here.

I don't wanna get sick. So, bye, Dolly!

Hello, family.

(CHUCKLING) What fine cinema

are we enjoying tonight?

Gordita broke the TV again.

I merely borrowed

some wires it didn't need.

Come on!

(ALL GROANING)

(DOLLY LAUGHS)

(SCREAMING)

Did you see Dolly?

She was there.

If this is a prank, it isn't funny.

You know I love me a good prank,

but I ain't going

near that doll. No offense.

I'm flattered. Tater, if you're scared,

I could take her back

I'm not scared of her.

Or her ojo curses.

Just remember to brush her hair,

keep her upright

and in your sight,

and you'll be fine.

Uh, in my sight?

(SHUDDERING) I, uh, forgot something.

If that doll's stayin' up

in your room,

then we're all gonna

sleep downstairs!

Not scary at all!

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

(GROANS)

(SCREAMS)

58, 59, 60.

(ALL SNORING)

(GASPS AND GROANS)

(DOLLY LAUGHING)

How do I stop it?

(SHUDDERING)

Buela! You were right,

it's the ojo thing.

Help me!

I've been preparing

for this moment toda mi vida. Esperate.

(CLUCKS)

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

I have no idea

what you're saying, but I like it.

(SNORES)

Ugh. Bapu rub? Really?

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

It works for everything.

(CHICKEN CLUCKS)

Is this really going to save me?

Shh-shh. Trust me.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

It's part of the process.

BOTH: Run!

Well, that's not part of the process.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(DOLLY LAUGHING)

That muneca is ruining my limpia.

Time to bring out the big g*ns!

(SCREAMING)

Sage, the biggest g*n of them all!

Mal de ojo, turn away

from my granddaughter!

- Hmm?

- (LOTLOT COUGHS)

TATER: Lotlot?

(COUGHS) Dang, Buela,

you're a boss.

Dang right.

Lotlot, I thought

you were asleep.

Wait a second.

Have you been behind

all this spooky stuff?

Don't lie,

I can read body language.

No, yeah, it was totally me.

Well, what about

Dolly's awful laughter?

(DOLLY LAUGHS)

Told you to never tilt her.

Her voice box is kinda wonky.

So, she's not haunted?

I wish, but no. She had help.

Let me out!

You're earning your flies tonight, boys.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(LAUGHING)

You put a hole in my table?

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

Giving me a heart attack!

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

(GROANS) I need some ice cream.

Yeah, what she said!

Lotlot, why did you do all that?

I was just doing what you suggested.

Getting to know

my primos through some quality time.

And I thought I'd start with you.

There are a million

better ways to get to know someone!

Scaring is my love language.

Oh, what about giving gifts?

Words of affirmation?

Not really my style.

- (SIGHS)

- But I think you are.

My style, I mean.

Mmm. Because I'm so easy to scare?

No. I mean, yeah.

But it's more like,

you understand

how nice it is to be

quiet and alone sometimes.

Maybe we could be alone together?

Alone together.

Do you wanna have that tea party?

I'm kind of hungry.

I'll get the gore-d'oeuvres.

(CHUCKLES)

The what now?

TATER: (SIGHS) Eh,

I wasn't that scared.

But the one thing that really

spooked me was the TV stunt.

(CHEWING) How'd you do that?

I didn't do anything with the TV.

(SWALLOWS) Some things in life

I'm never gonna understand, am I?

It's more fun that way.

Tea?

Oh, good, this looks normal.

Blood orange. Extra blood.

(SIPS AND SMACKS LIPS)

Huh, not bad. (SIPS)

Ah. (SPEAKING SPANISH)

Maybe you're more of a blessing

than a curse after all, muneca.

(DOLLY SPEAKING SPANISH)

(CLOSING THEME MUSIC PLAYING)